Try to understand

[Whowolf]

Poem or Song you be the judge

I Wish I could get you
and you could get me
I feel like empty spaces
so try to understand

Once I leave this place
A clean slate
When I go back
I'll feel New Again

I wish things worked out
and things worked out for you
I feel nothing here
try to understand

once I leave this place
a fresh clean slate
and when i go back again
I'll feel new again

I'll never see you again
I'll feel new again
I'll never see you again
I'LL FEEL NEW AGAIN !

[The Personist]

This has the same problem as everything else you've written. I'm not trying to pick on you; I'm trying to get you to work on it and improve. This is full of trite, overdone imagery.

[Whowolf]

my life is a cliche dude

[The Personist]

I'm gonna quote Ezra Pound and say, "Make it new."

[11:11]

At the very least, be creative. Don't write a song that has "New Again" repeating throughout. One look at your avatar, and we know you got that from the new album title. Seriously.

[Misstamara]

haha true true :)

[Whowolf]

At the very least, be creative. Don't write a song that has "New Again" repeating throughout. One look at your avatar, and we know you got that from the new album title. Seriously.

ok the truth is the whole album title inspired me to write this song , this song is about me ready to feel new again by leaving high school , I just happened to use New Again as the hook.

[The Personist]

If you wrote it as a song, then why the poll?

Also, find a new way to say it. Using words that have already been said doesn't make it worth reading--or writing.