Is there really friendship after relationships?

[bassdrummer2333]

I've recently had a run in with a girl where she broke up with me citing that we didn't know each other well enough and she feels disconnected so she wants to become friends to get to know each other more and left it open to getting back together later, now at the same time it feels like she is not leaving it open. Am I being totally bullshitted on a grand scale, like she is pretending to be sad over it ending and using it as excuse to put me down or is she really being sincere? And please don't come in here joking, all i'm asking is for some respect for my feelings since this is a very recent and tough thing.

[Mibabalou]

no

[bassdrummer2333]

is that a response to the title or something specific in the paragraph?

[Mibabalou]

responce to ur question

Is there really friendship after relationships?

no

[Mibabalou]

once you start hooking up with people you can never go back to just being friends

[tommy's ghost]

Depends on how serious the relationship was.

[Mibabalou]

Depends on how serious the relationship was.

true u fuck her

[4N6 science]

you can never go back!

[jusscali]

I used to think it was impossible, but after a terrible terrible break up and post break up period, including falling in and out of love with the same girl twice and then not speaking to her for a year/year and half, we are now friends and it totally works.

[samsara]

nope

[kianacarly]

I think it's certainly possible, but if it was a serious relationship it takes a lot of time.

[JunkyVomit]

It depends. How deep was the relationship? Regardless, I think that it can always work if you make it work.

[jusscali]

I think it's certainly possible, but if it was a serious relationship it takes a lot of time.

Definitely - and even after a lot of time it is still in doubt. It all depends on what the two of you want out of it. I was with my girlfriend for 2 years, and it took about that long after before we could approach each other as friends in a functional and worth while way

[kianacarly]

Definitely - and even after a lot of time it is still in doubt. It all depends on what the two of you want out of it. I was with my girlfriend for 2 years, and it took about that long after before we could approach each other as friends in a functional and worth while way

Yeah, somehow my friend manages to stay good friends with all of her ex's, but that can get messy too, especially if one of the people aren't completely over the other.

[uglystar03]

I would say it's very difficult to have a friendship after a relationship. I am currently in this situation. The girl whom I have been dating for the past 2.5-3 years (Been very serious for the past two) recently broke up with me. Unfortunately, she didn't severe all ties or give me any definite answers. She broke up with me at the beginning of February and we have still been actually like we were together up until last Tuesday.

She still hasn't said that we are over, exactly. She left it open to the possibility of having time apart and seeing where that takes us, and possibly getting back together in the near future. Meanwhile, she wants to distance herself, but she also wants to remain friends. She constantly sends mixed signals. It gets rather confusing. It would be a lot easier if she would give me definite answers.

To make matters worse, we share a dog together. It was "my dog" when it came to going to the vet or buying it food or cleaning up after it, but now she wants it to be primarily "her dog" aka I don't get to see it anymore. Suck.

[chicagogirll04]

You'll think it's friendship, but it's not.

[screamoutmyname]

^ haha perfectly said

[kwsqd]

and not if you intend to date someone else.

[argg_xo]

she's lying to you.

[Niy-v]

Its not impossible but its definatly hardd, especially if it was a serious relationship,
i went thru the same situation and we became friends, but then feelings started rising again
and now its like we love each ither to much to just be friends, but she moved so we really be
together cause its far. complicateddd.

[chicagogirll04]

Its not impossible but its definatly hardd, especially if it was a serious relationship,
i went thru the same situation and we became friends, but then feelings started rising again
and now its like we love each ither to much to just be friends, but she moved so we really be
together cause its far. complicateddd.

Once again: You'll think it's friendship, but it's not.

You are just fooling yourself. There is no friendship after you've had "intimate" feelings for someone. It just masks the situation. Save your self the trouble.

[Niy-v]

Once again: You'll think it's friendship, but it's not.

You are just fooling yourself. There is no friendship after you've had "intimate" feelings for someone. It just masks the situation. Save your self the trouble.


True. But too much of an important person in my life to let go.

[mattmatumbo]

no it's a fuck buddy till one of you gets a new boy/girlfriend

[mmmmmpoetry]

Every time I have been friends with one of my ex girlfriends in the past, it's come back to screw me over.
I was dating this girl for a while and she was pretty fucking cool and I was throwing some parties completely wasted, blacked out
and apparently was seduced by my ex. thus ending my relationship with a pretty cool chick. oh well.

[BryterJonah]

http://z.about.com/d/thyroid/1/0/g/c/seinfeld-getty.jpg
Of course.

[kwsqd]

http://z.about.com/d/thyroid/1/0/g/c/seinfeld-getty.jpg
Of course.
They're the definition of dysfunctional.

[abusedvictim]

I've recently had a run in with a girl where she broke up with me citing that we didn't know each other well enough and she feels disconnected so she wants to become friends to get to know each other more and left it open to getting back together later, now at the same time it feels like she is not leaving it open. Am I being totally bullshitted on a grand scale, like she is pretending to be sad over it ending and using it as excuse to put me down or is she really being sincere? And please don't come in here joking, all i'm asking is for some respect for my feelings since this is a very recent and tough thing.

So you are upset because for no particular reason you have no friends, a girl lied to you, your brother is on drugs and you are failing highschool? Wake up man and get your shit together. The most important thing is school, right now. You say you haven't studied, well start today. Start with the subject you feel least confident in. Read the chapters, pay close attention to the first couple of sentences in each paragraph as they will dictate the rest of the paragraph (by and large..) If things are that dire, talk to your professors - let them know how you feel and tell them your plan. Maybe you'll get an extension, maybe not. A girl lied to you? HA! Welcome to life. Move on. You have no friends? Why do you think that is? Get involved in activities. Volunteer your time. The older you get the less and less friends you have. I have 2 really good friends - time does that. You grow up, you move away, you take a job in a different part of the country - its how it goes. You'll adapt. There is nothing you can do about your brother. People always say do an intervention, but if he is not ready, it will all fail. Be there for him, but be distant as it sounds like the guy isn't going to help you get to where you need to be. I'll talk to you all you want, but I will not talk to a "so sad, so sorry" kind of guy who doesn't take action.

[BryterJonah]

I've recently had a run in with a girl where she broke up with me citing that we didn't know each other well enough and she feels disconnected so she wants to become friends to get to know each other more and left it open to getting back together later, now at the same time it feels like she is not leaving it open. Am I being totally bullshitted on a grand scale, like she is pretending to be sad over it ending and using it as excuse to put me down or is she really being sincere? And please don't come in here joking, all i'm asking is for some respect for my feelings since this is a very recent and tough thing.
Stop whining and worry about things actually worth worrying about. So some person stops being your tongue buddy. Wah. Fuck it and move on.

Feelings don't exist on the internet. PIxels is as pixels does.

[speakhandsforme]

No, just no. If the previous relationship was worthwhile, there is almost no chance of a legitimate friendship afterwards.

[Kassie09]

no.i tried.it doesn't work, it can't work. like, even if you miss them as just a friend/person, it won't.
the people who are going to be like 'yeah, it totally can, i did it!!!11!11!one11!' just wait. it might work for a few weeks or even a month but really, it won't.

[abusedvictim]

no.i tried.it doesn't work, it can't work. like, even if you miss them as just a friend/person, it won't.
the people who are going to be like 'yeah, it totally can, i did it!!!11!11!one11!' just wait. it might work for a few weeks or even a month but really, it won't.

wow
that is some really positive advice you are giving there.

OP just do it.

[BryterJonah]

http://media.arstechnica.com/journals/apple.media/thumb/200/200/Nike-800.jpg

[thespearkid]

Lots of bitter people in this thread saying it can't work but it can. Depends on the situation.

[Sventhegreat]

Depends how it ended.

[KrebstarKansas]

Like people have said, it just totally depends on the situation and the people involved...as well as a long amount of time between the break-up and trying to be friends again. I'm good friends with one dude I dated for a couple years in high school. We didn't talk for probably a year or two after the break-up and slowly started talking again. We're not super tight, but we can get a bite to eat together and not have it be weird. Another ex I haven't talked to since we broke up 4 years ago.

I think the biggest thing is to assume that it won't work out as friends, because the truth is yea, usually it doesn't. Anyone who just gets out of a relationship saying 'it's cool, we're just going to be friends" is talking bullshit. As soon as another person gets into the picture, jealousy happens and shit goes to hell. If you break up, start moving on with life without them. If you are meant to be friends, or even more than friends, later on in life, it will happen. If not, it's not meant to be and there are better things and people out there.

[MarshmallowHobo]

I'm not friends with any of my ex's. I broke up with them because they annoyed me, so I didn't wanna stay friends with them because the same things still annoyed me.

[jagermeister]

If she is black then it won't work. Because as we all know once you go black, you never go back.

[framebyframe]

It doesn't. You think it's working, but once you find someone new someone always gets jealous. It's fucking annoying.

[anthonydarko]

Depends on the person and situation from my experience.

[Schmidty Says]

Depends on how serious the relationship was.

once you start hooking up with people you can never go back to just being friends

This.

[phil19]

my mate was really good friends with one of his ex's for a long time. he only stopped being friends with her because his current g/f is a bitch and basically told him to choose between them. (i personally think he chose the wrong girl).
i think it would depend on how the relationship ended wether or not you can remain friends and how mature the two people are

[xxCarpeDiem]

It depends on what type of girl she is, intentions are hard to figure out if you don't know the girl, but she may just be hurt. I tend to close up toward people that hurt me, even indirectly. And friendship after a relationship is difficult. I don't think it can really happen until all other feelings are past.

[smithariko]

everything everyone said about depending on the person or situation

[Mr. Ryan]

It can work if you can handle them being intimate with someone other than you, and if she can handle you doing your own thing. The likeliness of that is almost nonexistent, but possible.


As far as your situation goes, I think she's bullshitting you. She's trying to make an attempt to let you down easy, but still bullshitting you regardless.

[Kyle Huntington]

no.i tried.it doesn't work, it can't work. like, even if you miss them as just a friend/person, it won't.
the people who are going to be like 'yeah, it totally can, i did it!!!11!11!one11!' just wait. it might work for a few weeks or even a month but really, it won't.

I was with my ex for nearly 3 years. She is now my best friend and has been for 2 years.

[Heart-A-Tact]

I believe that it's possible, although it didn't work for me.

[boykosaurus]

My ex likes to think so.

[perceptrons]

All this "leaving it open" talk is hilarious. If a girl is stringing it along to see where it goes, dump her.

Anyway, no, it's not, unless you were "together" the way two fourth graders are "together." Anything even semi-serious will always linger in the back of the mind of at least one of the individuals, if not both. You can manage a functional platonic relationship, but it will never be like a normal friendship.

[Kyle Huntington]

All this "leaving it open" talk is hilarious. If a girl is stringing it along to see where it goes, dump her.

Anyway, no, it's not, unless you were "together" the way two fourth graders are "together." Anything even semi-serious will always linger in the back of the mind of at least one of the individuals, if not both. You can manage a functional platonic relationship, but it will never be like a normal friendship.

Totally disagree, as I said in my previous post. I was with my ex for over 2 years, and we have been best friends for the past couple of years after our break up, sure it was hard for a few months, but definitely my closest friend now.

[perceptrons]

Totally disagree, as I said in my previous post. I was with my ex for over 2 years, and we have been best friends for the past couple of years after our break up, sure it was hard for a few months, but definitely my closest friend now.
You're an exception, not the rule.

[Kyle Huntington]

You're an exception, not the rule.

Fair enough, but I also know several other "exceptions" close to me. So, my point is less "because I did it, everyone can" but more "it is possible". Like most have said, I guess it depends on how it ended and also how mature the two people can be about it afterwards.

[caress me down]

Lol I've dated four guys in my life. Guy #1 was a 4 day middle school fling with my best friend. We were not friends after. Guy #2 was a kid from camp who lived in Brooklyn. We broke up after 2 weeks (so I could get with guy #3) and we never talked again. Guy #3 was a weird relationship and left me with the worst break up imaginable. We are not friends (and sometimes have to awkwardly interact 2 years later). And I'm still with guy #4 but could guarantee if we ever broke up it'd be awful

[ascitiesburn101]

You'll think it's friendship, but it's not.
This. Also, if it ended badly (i.e. you got cheated on), don't believe any bullshit about forgiveness. Chances are it'll happen again.

[FallenAngel117]

its possible but uncomfortable.

i've gone out with 2 guys twice. the first one and i broke up while at my grandparents and he stormed out of the house leaving on a bad note. we have never talked since. i dont really want to an my current bf would kill him lol

i went out with the 1st one for the 1st time and he dumped me an i went out with the 2nd. i then dumped the 2nd, stayed single for a few months while going on an exchange to germany for 2 months and dated the 1st again. that didn't last ending in what i said above. i'm now dating the 2nd again and sailing happily through whatever it is lol

so the answer is yes and no. it depends on the relationship; i keep running into my very first bf all the time lately. its really uncomfortable but i dont look at it like it was really a rship as nothing happened. still uncomfortable but you learn to live with it if you have to. he also turned out to be gay but hey, not my fault lol

anyway it really does depend on the person and the level or depth of the rship