Speaking in Home Row

[OveriseFan]

Yea, totally different structure, and even more abstract than I usually write. Enjoy it? This isn't gonna last I don't think... Anyway, yea, thanks for reading and uh... Hi mom, Hi dad. I love you Shauna. :) Tariq, you inspired me to write in this structure. Thanks, it was fun.


I will spit you out
Like a cloud does rain
Chasing sunsets will
Still leave you all the same.

You are beautiful on the outside I’m sure.
The inside has as much light as a closed door.
You’re oh so lovely, as long as this is:
Your mouth is closed; your lips are painted, miss.

Cut up conversation
Chandeliers dangle so
Magnificently fake.
It’s as if you could
Make diamonds into words.
But diamonds they are,
They are only coal.

You seem so annoyed
Agitation takes
A lot for you to
Have words aligned to fake.

Slash yourself in half
Words are only reminders of your past
Please just open up at last.

Cut up conversation
Chandeliers dangle so
Magnificently fake.
It’s as if you could
Make diamonds into words.
But diamonds they are,
They are only coal.

You are beautiful on the outside I’m sure.
The inside has as much light as a closed door.
You’re oh so lovely, as long as this is:
Your mouth is closed; your lips are painted, miss.

[ArTkY_]

Nice job! Good structure, haha.

[para ser libre]

ill let tariq speak for me i however went crazy from teh rhyming i was seeing..... so if he says its good im suer it is

[punkpixie]

Well I figure that this is supposed to be a song, not a poem. As a song it is awesome, I don't know if it works quite as well as a poem though.

[ArTkY_]

Well I figure that this is supposed to be a song, not a poem. As a song it is awesome, I don't know if it works quite as well as a poem though.
Tis a song in Tariq-structure.

[de la sympathie]

Good job. lovely. :love:

[de la sympathie]

I love you Shauna. :)

This made my evening. :love: :love:

[OveriseFan]

haha, I just finished the Christmas Play.

Thanks everyone, and yes, Ellie, it is a song.