My muse is gone.

[Seasonas]

My muse is gone
Now I write in bitter emotion, always been a quitter.
Trying to get my life on track, if only I could rewind it back.
Living inside my mind it’s like my minds a hat.
If it wasn’t for writing raps, I’d be worse of trying to find a match.
She made me feel as if I was on top of the world.
Then I lost my footing and came tumbling down.
But I’ll never let it get the best of me, I still remember what you said to me,
Your endeavors are never selfless wasted time
It’s like I’m a cloud and you’re my silver line, so to feel the time
When I get depressed I’ll raise a rhyme
Waiting for the flames to subside
But only you could put out this fire
You started it, you sparked
And my dark heart was lit, but now it’s a roaring blaze
I’m a miss fit but it seems no one could give a shit.
I’m a lonely ranger, lost in a puddle like a lonely sailor.
It’s a constant struggle and a waste of paper.
My heart goes out to anyone whose lost love,
I know how it feels to have the door slammed shut!
Shit, why didn’t you just let me in?
Now left alone waiting for the end to begin.
I hardly ever get to see you , mental torture
Walking the hard line like a peasant sent for water
I’m a true love enforcer , but that’s not enough
Now I’m caught up, in my spider web of a brain
Waiting for the final shed of shame
So my head can embrace and lay claims , I was led astray
Looked ahead and had to pretend it’s okay
Smoking weed till I ascend
Taking everything with me because this girls like cement.

[fishingthe_sky]

"I’m a miss fit" is a clever play on words, and "I’m a lonely ranger, lost in a puddle like a lonely sailor" is a solid line. This is better than some of the rap pieces I've seen here, though it does have a tendency to dwell in the "been saids." It might just be me, but it feels overly simile'd, so that might be something you want to look at. Also, the smoking weed line really killed this for me. It's unnecessary and detracts from the overall sentiment of it (I'm not anti-smoking, so it's not a moral issue).

[Seasonas]

Hmm i see what your saying , i have tonnes of other pieces that are better then this but i don't tend to write in that sort of rhyme style and or scheme. Was just testing my versatility. And as for the weed line i smoke everyday and it's a part of my style and i know it's a bit cliche in a hip hop song but it doesn't destract from the overal outcome of the song.