scared as hell.

[onik]

here's my situation...


i am a single mother of two,
my drunken ex is no help what-so-ever,
my oldest has behavioural problems at the moment due to my ex leaving,
i have no family living close by,
i suffer from anxiety and depression which has caused me to lose too much weight,
and on top of all this i had to have a biopsy today to find out if i have cancer.
i lost my mum to cancer 7 years ago and i'm reduced to tears every time i think of my children going through the same agony.
i have to wait about 4 days for the biopsy results and i don't know how to take my mind off it in that time. what would you do in my shoes??

i'm too young for this shit.

[I am all talk]

no offense but if there is so much shit going on in your life why are you wasting your time posting on here?

[infamous_alias]

What would I do in your shoes? Freak the fuck out.

But that's not what you need to hear....I wish you the best...

[onik]

no offense but if there is so much shit going on in your life why are you wasting your time posting on here?

no offense taken-valid point.
simple fact is i just don't know what else to do at night when my kids are in bed. i can't leave the house so it leaves me with the net.

[onik]

What would I do in your shoes? Freak the fuck out.

But that's not what you need to hear....I wish you the best...

glad it's not just me then.

and thank you.

[Make Out Kid]

Listen to lots of music, and just do ANYTHING that could get your mind off of it.
Best of luck. Really.

[hXc_pwnage]

Find a boyfriend.

[timmeh1989]

Find a boyfriend.

No, very bad idea, do as the other guy said, do anything you can to take your mind off it, take your kids out, give them and yourself a good time.

Best of look to you with your results. Get back to us on the outcome of the biopsy if you wish to share them.

[RoomWithAVeiw]

move in/close to family. knowing that people that love youhave your back will help alot. im sure they will be happy to see you as well.

[Rebs]

As a child of divorce, I hope I can give you some advice. My mom has been divorced twice, soon to be three times. It's a really hard thing to go through, and I really hope it gets better. The best things I can think of would be to move somewhere close to your family, or move in with your parents or brother, something until you can get back on your feet.

As far as your oldest child, in most divorces the oldest child normally takes it the hardest, most have problems with expressing their feelings outwardly. I responded personally by becoming my mother's "protector" and I became extremely quiet. I suggest going to a counsler of some time, possibly together. If you are both having problems coping, it might help the two of you to talk it out. Psychiatrists tend to be able to get people to talk anyways.

And with the cancer, I'm really sorry, and I hope the Biopsy results bring something good back to you, heaven knows you need it.

[InochiSagashi]

I'm only 15, so I can't really give you advice on being a mother...just give your kids as much emotional support as you can.

but on the issues of biopsy's and such: I have to get one done on Monday for some tumor-ish thing on the back of my head. I'm trying to not worry about it and I'm just listening to a lot of music and playing guitar. Reading helps too, if you have time for it.

I hope things clear up for you&I wish you the best.

[onik]

As a child of divorce, I hope I can give you some advice. My mom has been divorced twice, soon to be three times. It's a really hard thing to go through, and I really hope it gets better. The best things I can think of would be to move somewhere close to your family, or move in with your parents or brother, something until you can get back on your feet.

As far as your oldest child, in most divorces the oldest child normally takes it the hardest, most have problems with expressing their feelings outwardly. I responded personally by becoming my mother's "protector" and I became extremely quiet. I suggest going to a counsler of some time, possibly together. If you are both having problems coping, it might help the two of you to talk it out. Psychiatrists tend to be able to get people to talk anyways.

And with the cancer, I'm really sorry, and I hope the Biopsy results bring something good back to you, heaven knows you need it.

It's really good to hear the other side of the divorce thing. my parents were best friends til the day my mum died, so i have no idea what my boys are going through.
he is fully my protecter, but i am also the one who cops the brunt of his emotion. we have always had a really strong bond-i hope this doesn't break it.
i am looking into counselling as well.
thanks for your advice. :)

[Rebs]

It's really good to hear the other side of the divorce thing. my parents were best friends til the day my mum died, so i have no idea what my boys are going through.
he is fully my protecter, but i am also the one who cops the brunt of his emotion. we have always had a really strong bond-i hope this doesn't break it.
i am looking into counselling as well.
thanks for your advice. :)
Anytime.

[onik]

I'm only 15, so I can't really give you advice on being a mother...just give your kids as much emotional support as you can.

but on the issues of biopsy's and such: I have to get one done on Monday for some tumor-ish thing on the back of my head. I'm trying to not worry about it and I'm just listening to a lot of music and playing guitar. Reading helps too, if you have time for it.

I hope things clear up for you&I wish you the best.

wow. and i thought i was too young for this shit.
i'm really sorry to hear that you are being tested also.
you sound like a strong kid. i really wish you the best with it all.
feel free to pm me at any time if you want to talk about it.

and believe me, the music is playing non-stop around here.

can i just say that you guys are all really supportive and i fully appreciate the kind words, advice and well wishes.

[Rebs]

can i just say that you guys are all really supportive and i fully appreciate the kind words, advice and well wishes.
I think most of us know what you're going through. I know how important it is to have somewhere to turn, even if it's online or on the phone, everyone needs to vent sometimes

[onik]

Anytime.

cheers

[onik]

I think most of us know what you're going through. I know how important it is to have somewhere to turn, even if it's online or on the phone, everyone needs to vent sometimes

i really didn't know that it would help this much being new to forums and all, it's kinda strange. i felt stupid asking for advice this way, or that people would look down on me for being online when all this is going on.

[Spicoli hey bud]

kids. focus on the kids. that's all that matters.

[InochiSagashi]

i really didn't know that it would help this much being new to forums and all, it's kinda strange. i felt stupid asking for advice this way, or that people would look down on me for being online when all this is going on.
it's good to know that this forum can help a little. there's a certain sense of security in anonymity so sometimes it's easier to talk online than face-to-face. I'm pretty sure a lot of people feel the same way.

also, thank you for your words before--it's comforting to not be alone.

[Rebs]

i really didn't know that it would help this much being new to forums and all, it's kinda strange. i felt stupid asking for advice this way, or that people would look down on me for being online when all this is going on.
As far as this forum goes, we are supportive at the right times. The "omg I like 4 boys at once" threads don't get very much attention, but I'm glad to see that we're helping you out.

[Stereo Mike]

kids. focus on the kids. that's all that matters.
Agreed.

[nobodysmonkey]

Wow, I am so sorry to hear that.

I am the oldest of divorced parents, too. My best advice is don't stick your kids in the middle. I always hated how my mom and dad would talk shit about eachother too me. But, at the same time, be honest with them. It is really rough, but I'm sure he'll grow out of it.

I really hope your biopsy comes back negative, that's the last thing you need.

If its any consellation, you have awesome hair and seem like a very cool mom. Try to keep your head up.

[onik]

Wow, I am so sorry to hear that.

I am the oldest of divorced parents, too. My best advice is don't stick your kids in the middle. I always hated how my mom and dad would talk shit about eachother too me. But, at the same time, be honest with them. It is really rough, but I'm sure he'll grow out of it.

I really hope your biopsy comes back negative, that's the last thing you need.

If its any consellation, you have awesome hair and seem like a very cool mom. Try to keep your head up.

no matter how much i dislike my ex, i NEVER badmouth him in front of my kids. they will make up their own minds about him when they get older. i don't wrap them in cotton wool, but there are certain things they don't need to hear.
cheers for the compliments too.

to spicoli and hurleydude: my kids will always be my main focus in life, but if i don't look after myself i can't look after them. they know how much i love them. they always will.

[thedood]

smoke marijuana...kidding (sort of). Just know that there are people going through the same shit or worse elsewhere. That's all.