The Official 'Draw you Sex Encounters in Ms Paint' Thread

[LaDiabla]

This Thread may be NSFW!!!

The idea of this thread courtesy of killerswells and sensesfail!
Ok, so this is how it works:
Have a cool sexual encounter?
Yes, well then draw it in MS Paint!


I'll start this Thread off with my infamous 8some:
http://img397.imageshack.us/img397/576/thesuperawesomemspaintp.jpg


So, post your sexual encounters and lets all have some laughs at our super awesome artistic skills!

[4N6 science]

Ahh great idea for a thread. This could get very graphic really quick, which is a good thing.

[Smash Adams]

JkEBnffq9XM

[thesafeword]

Potentially good thread.

[4N6 science]

This will be a good thread with ample participation.

[LaDiabla]

JkEBnffq9XM

Post you OWN sexual encounters!

[4N6 science]

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/4403/sex2.jpg

[4N6 science]

My art is quite abstract. But that is a representation of the best sex of my life.

[LaDiabla]

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/4403/sex2.jpg

hawt!

[4N6 science]

hawt!

I know. When we meet our sex can be just like that or even better.

[thesafeword]

I have a boner.

[LaDiabla]

I have a boner.

= intention of this thread.

[Smash Adams]

Post you OWN sexual encounters!
fine
http://i42.tinypic.com/4zyhqr.jpg

[killerswells]

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/4403/sex2.jpg

a modern day picasso. im turned on.

[killerswells]

fine
http://i42.tinypic.com/4zyhqr.jpg

hahahahahahahahaha. creative.

[4N6 science]

a modern day picasso. im turned on.

Why thank you. I was trying to recreate a similar work done by a lesser known artist she goes by DiablaLa.

[LaDiabla]

fine
http://i42.tinypic.com/4zyhqr.jpg

It looks like your penis is L shaped. hawt!

[LaDiabla]

Why thank you. I was trying to recreate a similar work done by a lesser known artist she goes by DiablaLa.

This is making me only hotter for you!

[4N6 science]

This is making me only hotter for you!

Very nice!

[BryterJonah]

:suave:

http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee31/revoulution9/untitled-1.jpg

[mmmmmpoetry]

http://i332.photobucket.com/albums/m360/burningxbridge/BYAH-1.jpg
How embarrasing..
"/

[LaDiabla]

http://i332.photobucket.com/albums/m360/burningxbridge/BYAH-1.jpg
How embarrasing..
"/

ok, we need the story to this picture..

[4N6 science]

:suave:

http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee31/revoulution9/untitled-1.jpg

Pretty good drawing there.

[mmmmmpoetry]

Hahah Well the crying is untrue, but this girl I dated for a year, wouldn't have sex with me and I just couldn't figure out why. 6 months after we started dating, we were sitting in her best friends room while she was house sitting(they went out of town). We were talking about how overrated Andy Warhol is as an artist. Brought over tequila, got trashed. She finally gives in and wants to fuck. After I took off her underwear I was shocked on how hairy she was so I said "holy shit" because I couldn't contain my drunkness. She asks why and I recover by saying I can't believe that this is really happening with a smile on my face. hahha lame story i know. whatever.

[BryterJonah]

Pretty good drawing there.
Why thank you kind sir. If only it were of better taste.

[nlcentralchamps]

http://i332.photobucket.com/albums/m360/burningxbridge/BYAH-1.jpg
How embarrasing..
"/

:-d

[4N6 science]

Why thank you kind sir. If only it were of better taste.

Your welcome. What's the story behind the picture.

[trappedintime]

lol @ this thread.

[Charles777]

Fapping to this thread. Please post more.

[redsoxguy676]

Fap Fap Fap.

[Mibabalou]

i dont have ms paint









but ill fap it to these great works of art

[BryterJonah]

Your welcome. What's the story behind the picture.
Well, I was about twelve years old at the time. My next door, Mr. Anderson, had just moved in. A kind old fellow who'd knock on our door every Saturday morning to give our family another yule tide tale of folklore from his Ireland youth. This became a tradition. In no time he had established himself as a member of the family, more in the vein of a pet than an actual relative though. Mr Anderson gave me and my sister chocolates every time we he saw us. He'd had a daughter who'd perished in, along with her mother(estranged), a passenger train which burst blazing inferno upon striking a truck carrying oil tanks along the tracks. I remember the day I first heard this tragic tale. It was a day I'll not soon forget.

It was nearing Easter when Anderson stopped by the house. He clutched two flooded easter baskets with a dandy smirk on his liver-spotted face. You could tell by the lightness of his eyes that he was shrouded in festive tunes. "'Or 'ere youngins'!" to which my sister and I promptly ran giddy as any children about to be handed sweets. Our parents were currently out on a flea market run. Anderson made himself comfortable, eyeballing the two of us, sensing our eagerness. "Now I be wonderin'..." he began, "what's an old feller' like me self got to be doddlin' this 'ere sweet' sums 'round?" He loved to build on our desires. "Aww, guess 'e be throwin' 'ese out just like 'em dolls in me atique." This last tid bit intrigued had my sister. "Dolls?" "Aye, dolls. Barbie to be certain. Belong'd to me wee girl."

We had already known of Anderson's daughter. Or, at least, we knew she was no longer living. The whole story was not revealed until my sister asked the simple question, "What ever happened to you little girl?" The question did not seem to offend the old man, to my relief. And there he laid out all the disheartening details in his usual calm demeanor: how he'd been informed by an officer almost immediately via phone, how he had biked six miles to the scene because no form of convenient transport was available, a thorough insight of his scattered thoughts while gazing into the rubble, the outburst he'd made when he believed he saw his daughter's tiny fingers(recognized by a deep green, impostor emerald ring he had given her after her first ballet recital) peering through out the ashes, only to discover a dragonfly, crushed. We sensed no pain in the old man's voice. Anderson was, the more I think about it, with her when he was with us. I wish I'd only realized how important we had been to his redemption sooner.

After the story, and after my sister brushed away scant tears, Anderson broke back iinto his cheerful state. "Well les' stop all 'is teeter toterrin', aye?" "Aye!" we shouted. The baskets bore minimal contrast. Both baskets contained a majority of honey oriented candies and plenty of Swedish Fish. But, as expected from such a gracious character, a special surprise was hidden underneath each of our heaps. My sister's was the aforementioned Barbie dolls, to which she yelped with glee. I could only imagine what was in store for myself. "Well, go on" Anderson cracked a smile watching as I pulled out a beautiful, top of the line video camera. "You always up an' all 'bout those films, I thought you'd like this lil token." "Thanks, I love it, really."

I thought it might be fun to give the camera a whirl right there. I turned it on, input the date and miscellaneous options, then directed my aim on good ol' Anderson. He gave a gentle chuckle and wave. "Well, I should get goin now. My hearts not so fleetin' like it once be." We gave him our farewells and again thanked him for the treasures. That night I sat alone with my camera, indulging myself in the mystical device. My mom told interrupted with a request for our dirty laundry. My sister asked if she could use my Easter basket for her laundry. What's happened to yours? She'd stepped on it clumsily and knew I wasn't one to listen to what my mother said. Fine, I answered.

The candy was spread out on the floor of my room. One by one I swallowed. It may have taken a good twenty minutes, but I downed every last speck of sugar available. Not a smart move. I grew nauseous, like a Thanksgiving dinner kind of nauseous. I twirled around in a fight against the piercing agony on my lower intestine. This did not help. I estimate I regurgitated at least six gallons worth of acid tinged sweets, all over my clothes at that. Crap, I thought. It was nearing midnight and the house was silent. I took off my stingy clothes, only to discover an empty closet. I look back to my floor. Every piece of clothing I owned was drenched in my festivities. I was naked and without a thing to where for morning. So, as anyone in my situation would do, I took it upon myself to escort my clothes downstairs into the laundry room, without making a peep. At first I planned on carrying everything down in my arms, but then after much deliberation, I decided on two things at a time. Making my way downstairs I thought now would be a swell time to try out the night vision function on my camera. Under my armpit, the camera made the journey down towards the laundry room with me. Putting in the two items, I noticed something. My sister's barbies atop her dirty laundry, which itself was in my basket.

I was naked, of course. Naked and extremely curious as to the astounding measurements on the two dolls that lay there. I turn on a light, having depended on the one from my camera, to discover a perfect accessory for my camera, a pedestal. I placed it on there, steadied it's position, then stood on the basket. I thought, hey why not have some fun? But below I was stirring up, below as in around my swimming trunks area. It became rock-like. It burst with this luscious amber tone. And, oddly enough, it felt amazing. I put a barbie in one hand, gave some "humerus" remarks for the camera, then placed the second barbie in my other hand. I stood there pretending I was Godzilla, my sister's laundry being a large city I'd crumbled. Once satisfied with my performance, I turned off the camera, proceeded to do the rest of my laundry(mixing whites with reds), waiting for a clean pair of anything, and headed for bed.

The next morning began as any other. It was Saturday so we anticipated Mr. Anderson's warm blessing, which came at around nine. He was in peculiar spirits this morning. He seemed more passive than usual. What''s wrong, I asked. He just gave me a kindly brush-off. I could tell when he wasn't feeling well. "How's that camera been treatin' ya?" he asked this in a faint stammer. "Oh fine, fine." He asked if he could just see it for one second. Of course, I'd answered, then placed it in his bony hands. "Would you mind headin' out for a sec?" I nodded at his request and left the room. Minutes passed before I asked if I could return. No reply.

I could not believe it, the old man had croaked right there with my camera in his hands. I slowly made my way over and picked up the camera to see what was being projected off the mini screen on the side: me naked, doing an awful Godzilla impression. I then noticed something on the side of the camera. It was an etching, done with a knife: Jacob Anderson, to have felt once more a bond, to fall into the bright abyss, I thank you.

I'll assume he had written it right before he caught my horrible misuse of all he had had left of his daughters'. I erased the tape before anyone else could see it, but not before I burned one still frame into my memory. The picture I've drawn is what I imagined shattered the ailing man's heart. Though the doctor told us Anderson's time had been up long before that, I know it was I who'd done it. My first semi-sexual experience, my first arousal, would also be my last.

[FemaleCuckold]

Yeah, this has been done before.. about a year ago.. by me.

[GetWellBoss]

This Thread may be NSFW!!!

The idea of this thread courtesy of killerswells and sensesfail!
Ok, so this is how it works:
Have a cool sexual encounter?
Yes, well then draw it in MS Paint!


I'll start this Thread off with my infamous 8some:
http://img397.imageshack.us/img397/576/thesuperawesomemspaintp.jpg


So, post your sexual encounters and lets all have some laughs at our super awesome artistic skills!

you've had an 8some? what the FUCK?

[BryterJonah]

Yeah, this has been done before.. about a year ago.. by me.
One thing that hasn't been done in a year's time: you posting.

[FemaleCuckold]

One thing that hasn't been done in a year's time: you posting.

I've been registered since '03, silly boy. My other account got banned by nazi moderators.

[BryterJonah]

I'm just saying 40+ posts really ain't that much for that span of time.

[AlkalineAshes]

wow Bryter your commitment is outstanding

[tawtaw]

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd86/randombrit/lolap.jpg

[AP_Punk]

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y292/xplanesxmistakenx4xstarsx/kirbiefacialz.jpg

[killerswells]

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd86/randombrit/lolap.jpg

its looks like you are fucking a goat, and the park rangers are on their watch walkie talkies. lol

[tawtaw]

"looks like"...

[killerswells]

"looks like"...

oh lord....

[killerswells]

my first of many contributions...

http://www.absolutepunk.net/gallery/files/1/2/4/2/6/nightmoveslol.JPG

[takemyhand]

lmao, this thread is ridiculous.

[LaDiabla]

you've had an 8some? what the FUCK?

jealous?

[GetWellBoss]

jealous?

Not really. Just kind of perplexed to how it works(and yes I've seen the drawing. haha).

[FemaleCuckold]

So this girl was on top of me and things were getting pretty heavy.
She says: "You know, I'll only have sex with you if we're going out."
And I instantly responded: "So do you wanna go out with me?"
She gave me one of those looks like, "Wow, I can't believe you just said that." Then I laughed and laughed.

[KenjiBeast]

Fucking in someone's parents bed is weird and awkward. IMHO.

I mean, still better than not fucking at all but hey. Weird and awkward.

[TheSkyline]

fine
http://i42.tinypic.com/4zyhqr.jpg

Hahahahaha oh my god, thats hilarious.

[BoxxingTheStars]

my first of many contributions...

http://www.absolutepunk.net/gallery/files/1/2/4/2/6/nightmoveslol.JPG

Excellent. At least there weren't security cameras...

[Kassie09]

http://i41.tinypic.com/2qkko05.jpg

[kaycey]

my first of many contributions...

http://www.absolutepunk.net/gallery/files/1/2/4/2/6/nightmoveslol.JPG
goa?

[killerswells]

goa?

yeah, i realized that after i posted. my paint skills are lacking.

[kwsqd]

http://i41.tinypic.com/2qkko05.jpg
I feel bad for that boy.

[alert=danger]

This is an incredible idea for a thread.

[Kassie09]

I feel bad for that boy.

yeah he's lame anyway.

[kwsqd]

yeah he's lame anyway.
:bluesad:

[Kassie09]

:bluesad:

hahahah

[kwsqd]

hahahah
I need to draw a picture sometime.

[Kassie09]

I need to draw a picture sometime.

Maybe it will be funny but I kind of win, here.

[kwsqd]

Maybe it will be funny but I kind of win, here.
your painting of that night is really good.

[Kassie09]

your painting of that night is really good.

Thanks probably because it was the funniest shit ever, hahahahaha.

[kwsqd]

Thanks probably because it was the funniest shit ever, hahahahaha.
haha oh how I hatelove you

[Kassie09]

haha oh how I hate love you

We established that you hated me in the comic, see above.

lololololol

[kwsqd]

We established that you hated me in the comic, see above.

lololololol
:-(

[circatbs]

i enjoy this thread. if i had ms paint i would make some contributions, but i don't :-(

[BryterJonah]

I enjoy, the what, 5 only contributions in this thread. Come on people!

[Ishbalan]

http://www.liveforxbox.com/wp-content/solitaire.gif

[circatbs]

bahahahaa

[circatbs]

I enjoy, the what, 5 only contributions in this thread. Come on people!

Ok

http://i362.photobucket.com/albums/oo61/wtfikillyou/Picture2-2.png

I did this on some retarded internet paint tool because I don't have MS Paint. If there's a better site to use, let me know please :-)

[BryterJonah]

You could download Microsoft Paint.

There's also similar but better software on Paint.Net which is pretty sweet.

[circatbs]

You could download Microsoft Paint.

There's also similar but better software on Paint.Net which is pretty sweet.

I have a Mac though.

I'll check that site out.

[thehereaway]

http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/6173/lolajd.jpg

[Kassie09]

http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/6173/lolajd.jpg

LOL, you guys look sunburned!
but still, good art work. hahahah

[thehereaway]

LOL, you guys look sunburned!
but still, good art work. hahahah

she has abnormally long legs too...

[killerswells]

http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/6173/lolajd.jpg

hahahahaha please tell me thats a bong in your hands. if so, internet high five my friend.

[BryterJonah]

Please Tell Me It's A Cucumber.

[4N6 science]

I think it's a beer bottle?

[BryterJonah]

It's a cucumber.

[circatbs]

Dildo.

[thehereaway]

I think it's a beer bottle?

Winner...

[4N6 science]

winner

yes!

[ablueskytragedy]

http://i39.tinypic.com/9aa5qw.jpg

My hands are transparent.

[4N6 science]

http://i39.tinypic.com/9aa5qw.jpg

My hands are transparent.


HAHAHAHAHAH I like this one!

[ablueskytragedy]

HAHAHAHAHAH I like this one!

I liked it too.

[LaDiabla]

I have a Mac though.

I'll check that site out.

get seashore, that's what i use, pretty similar to paint and free!

[circatbs]

get seashore, that's what i use, pretty similar to paint and free!

I'll have to check it out, thanks.

[tawtaw]

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd86/randombrit/fAP.jpg

[BoxxingTheStars]

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd86/randombrit/fAP.jpg


Hahahaha, priceless.
Made my all-nighter all the more better.

[killerswells]

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd86/randombrit/fAP.jpg

hahaha oh man this thread is epic as fuck.

[kaycey]

yeah, i realized that after i posted. my paint skills are lacking.
oh okay, goa is actually the name of a state in india so i was curious.

[killerswells]

oh okay, goa is actually the name of a state in india so i was curious.

im pretty sure i didnt get head in front of a church in india. then again, maybe i did, i was drinking heavily that evening.

[bootsydan]

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd86/randombrit/lolap.jpg

Hahaha. Golden.

This thread is golden.

[amo.]

Ok

http://i362.photobucket.com/albums/oo61/wtfikillyou/Picture2-2.png

I did this on some retarded internet paint tool because I don't have MS Paint. If there's a better site to use, let me know please :-)

your dick had the plague so you came blood? :shrug:

[thesafeword]

I still have boner... just saying.

[samsara]

wowo at this thread

[keyofhappy]

dont let this thread die!

[4N6 science]

We need more paint drawings.

[Kbm600]

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y30/Kbm600/lolz.jpg

[MarsEatWorld]

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y30/Kbm600/lolz.jpg
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHAAHA HAHAHA.
this looks oddly familiar...

[circatbs]

your dick had the plague so you came blood? :shrug:

Sug_wgvY5Qo

[NoOneRunsFaster]

http://i39.tinypic.com/9aa5qw.jpg

My hands are transparent.

Your drawing reminds me of the cartoon Home Movies

[PezMullet]

Now you can see why I failed art class in high school. I did my best but you can see the shitty situation

I was going fast and hard when suddenly my penis popped out of her vagina and entered anally. this is what happened next

[.invisible ink.]

Sug_wgvY5Qo

i love you for posting that. when i read that, i had immediately thought of Cannibal Corpse and this song but failed to post. i am so glad someone else here is on the same wavelength. :-d

[fadedmemories]

This thread definitely delivers.

[killerswells]

i had to do another. i wish i was better with paint.

http://www.absolutepunk.net/gallery/files/1/2/4/2/6/onaboat.JPG

[Kbm600]

i had to do another. i wish i was better with paint.

http://www.absolutepunk.net/gallery/files/1/2/4/2/6/onaboat.JPG




But where's t-pain?

[killerswells]

But where's t-pain?

you can't see him bc he is licking my toes. foot fetish, ftw.

[Kbm600]

you can't see him bc he is licking my toes. foot fetish, ftw.

So he's the black line? It all makes sense now.

The only thing greater would be a screenshot from "jizz in my pants". I want to see some grape-consumption.

[deanster321]

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd86/randombrit/fAP.jpg
Hahaha, that is superb.

[circatbs]

i love you for posting that. when i read that, i had immediately thought of Cannibal Corpse and this song but failed to post. i am so glad someone else here is on the same wavelength. :-d

:bow:

[Mibabalou]

i had to do another. i wish i was better with paint.

http://www.absolutepunk.net/gallery/files/1/2/4/2/6/onaboat.JPG

great

[AndrewIcex]

Title: "Kitchen Khaos"

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d165/korig5785/APpaintpic.jpg

I really rushed this one, but I wanted to get in on the action... I will come up with a better one soon.

Enjoy, its a kitchen party!

[killerswells]

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d165/korig5785/APpaintpic.jpg

I really rushed this one, but I wanted to get in on the action... I will come up with a better one soon.

Enjoy, its a kitchen party!

you, sir, are a true artist, lol.

[AndrewIcex]

you, sir, are a true artist, lol.
Yes, you could say that.. I am an Arteest.

[killerswells]

Yes, you could say that.. I am an Arteest.

ron artest?

http://www.bballcity.com/images/2007/ron-artest-1-med.jpg

[AndrewIcex]

ron artest?

http://www.bballcity.com/images/2007/ron-artest-1-med.jpg
Sorta but not as aggressive as him.

[MarsEatWorld]

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p111/marsy32/grocery.jpg

[AndrewIcex]

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p111/marsy32/grocery.jpg

Hahaha awesome, good one!

[AlexEnglish]

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d165/korig5785/APpaintpic.jpg

I really rushed this one, but I wanted to get in on the action... I will come up with a better one soon.

Enjoy, its a kitchen party!


you either had sex with a antler woman or a really hot moose

[AndrewIcex]

you either had sex with a antler woman or a really hot moose
It was sex hair, clearly.

[AlexEnglish]

It was sex hair, clearly.
ahahah i enjoy

[AndrewIcex]

ahahah i enjoy
Thank you.

[Five-Star]

What in the blazes.

[AndrewIcex]

:-) gotta go to work, be back around 9:30! Later guys!

[Five-Star]

Later dude.

[MarsEatWorld]

Hahaha awesome, good one!
I think this belongs more in the awkward thread.

[AP_Punk]

http://img55.imageshack.us/img55/2484/252d1e10398f711709b093bnv9.gif

[makeshiftmind]

http://images.shoutwire.com/pic_full/must_not_fap_jpg3ffab3ed-0ea3-4515-aea1-848e2de88319.jpg

[llwilliamsll]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v492/adieu/lulz.jpg

[thehereaway]

Haha, i think we've all tried that one...

[LaDiabla]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v492/adieu/lulz.jpg

win.

[Five-Star]

Esurance!

[AP_Punk]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v492/adieu/lulz.jpg

it's like that scene at the beginning of Shortbus!

[llwilliamsll]

it's like that scene at the beginning of Shortbus!
I'll have to watch this movie since my reference struck a chord with you "relate to a movie" nerve. Which isn't a bad thing.

[Gumbyjag]

thread of the year.

[Jake Denning]

This thread is beyond insane, especially the e-surance girl one.

[killerswells]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v492/adieu/lulz.jpg

hahaha this is awesome.

[LaDiabla]

thread of the year.

Thank you.
I like to think that thread by thread I make the world a better place.

[killerswells]

Thank you.
I like to think that thread by thread I make the world a better place.

dude i just spit coke on my desk laughing at that. so awesome.

[LaDiabla]

dude i just spit coke on my desk laughing at that. so awesome.

hahahah. soooo welcome.

[live.]

http://i39.tinypic.com/1195qbb.jpg

[tawtaw]

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd86/randombrit/haha.jpg

[LaDiabla]

http://i39.tinypic.com/1195qbb.jpg

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd86/randombrit/haha.jpg

god, this thread just keeps getting better.

[thehereaway]

Haha, great touch(es)

[TachyonEvan]

Well, I was about twelve years old at the time. My next door, Mr. Anderson, had just moved in. A kind old fellow who'd knock on our door every Saturday morning to give our family another yule tide tale of folklore from his Ireland youth. This became a tradition. In no time he had established himself as a member of the family, more in the vein of a pet than an actual relative though. Mr Anderson gave me and my sister chocolates every time we he saw us. He'd had a daughter who'd perished in, along with her mother(estranged), a passenger train which burst blazing inferno upon striking a truck carrying oil tanks along the tracks. I remember the day I first heard this tragic tale. It was a day I'll not soon forget.

It was nearing Easter when Anderson stopped by the house. He clutched two flooded easter baskets with a dandy smirk on his liver-spotted face. You could tell by the lightness of his eyes that he was shrouded in festive tunes. "'Or 'ere youngins'!" to which my sister and I promptly ran giddy as any children about to be handed sweets. Our parents were currently out on a flea market run. Anderson made himself comfortable, eyeballing the two of us, sensing our eagerness. "Now I be wonderin'..." he began, "what's an old feller' like me self got to be doddlin' this 'ere sweet' sums 'round?" He loved to build on our desires. "Aww, guess 'e be throwin' 'ese out just like 'em dolls in me atique." This last tid bit intrigued had my sister. "Dolls?" "Aye, dolls. Barbie to be certain. Belong'd to me wee girl."

We had already known of Anderson's daughter. Or, at least, we knew she was no longer living. The whole story was not revealed until my sister asked the simple question, "What ever happened to you little girl?" The question did not seem to offend the old man, to my relief. And there he laid out all the disheartening details in his usual calm demeanor: how he'd been informed by an officer almost immediately via phone, how he had biked six miles to the scene because no form of convenient transport was available, a thorough insight of his scattered thoughts while gazing into the rubble, the outburst he'd made when he believed he saw his daughter's tiny fingers(recognized by a deep green, impostor emerald ring he had given her after her first ballet recital) peering through out the ashes, only to discover a dragonfly, crushed. We sensed no pain in the old man's voice. Anderson was, the more I think about it, with her when he was with us. I wish I'd only realized how important we had been to his redemption sooner.

After the story, and after my sister brushed away scant tears, Anderson broke back iinto his cheerful state. "Well les' stop all 'is teeter toterrin', aye?" "Aye!" we shouted. The baskets bore minimal contrast. Both baskets contained a majority of honey oriented candies and plenty of Swedish Fish. But, as expected from such a gracious character, a special surprise was hidden underneath each of our heaps. My sister's was the aforementioned Barbie dolls, to which she yelped with glee. I could only imagine what was in store for myself. "Well, go on" Anderson cracked a smile watching as I pulled out a beautiful, top of the line video camera. "You always up an' all 'bout those films, I thought you'd like this lil token." "Thanks, I love it, really."

I thought it might be fun to give the camera a whirl right there. I turned it on, input the date and miscellaneous options, then directed my aim on good ol' Anderson. He gave a gentle chuckle and wave. "Well, I should get goin now. My hearts not so fleetin' like it once be." We gave him our farewells and again thanked him for the treasures. That night I sat alone with my camera, indulging myself in the mystical device. My mom told interrupted with a request for our dirty laundry. My sister asked if she could use my Easter basket for her laundry. What's happened to yours? She'd stepped on it clumsily and knew I wasn't one to listen to what my mother said. Fine, I answered.

The candy was spread out on the floor of my room. One by one I swallowed. It may have taken a good twenty minutes, but I downed every last speck of sugar available. Not a smart move. I grew nauseous, like a Thanksgiving dinner kind of nauseous. I twirled around in a fight against the piercing agony on my lower intestine. This did not help. I estimate I regurgitated at least six gallons worth of acid tinged sweets, all over my clothes at that. Crap, I thought. It was nearing midnight and the house was silent. I took off my stingy clothes, only to discover an empty closet. I look back to my floor. Every piece of clothing I owned was drenched in my festivities. I was naked and without a thing to where for morning. So, as anyone in my situation would do, I took it upon myself to escort my clothes downstairs into the laundry room, without making a peep. At first I planned on carrying everything down in my arms, but then after much deliberation, I decided on two things at a time. Making my way downstairs I thought now would be a swell time to try out the night vision function on my camera. Under my armpit, the camera made the journey down towards the laundry room with me. Putting in the two items, I noticed something. My sister's barbies atop her dirty laundry, which itself was in my basket.

I was naked, of course. Naked and extremely curious as to the astounding measurements on the two dolls that lay there. I turn on a light, having depended on the one from my camera, to discover a perfect accessory for my camera, a pedestal. I placed it on there, steadied it's position, then stood on the basket. I thought, hey why not have some fun? But below I was stirring up, below as in around my swimming trunks area. It became rock-like. It burst with this luscious amber tone. And, oddly enough, it felt amazing. I put a barbie in one hand, gave some "humerus" remarks for the camera, then placed the second barbie in my other hand. I stood there pretending I was Godzilla, my sister's laundry being a large city I'd crumbled. Once satisfied with my performance, I turned off the camera, proceeded to do the rest of my laundry(mixing whites with reds), waiting for a clean pair of anything, and headed for bed.

The next morning began as any other. It was Saturday so we anticipated Mr. Anderson's warm blessing, which came at around nine. He was in peculiar spirits this morning. He seemed more passive than usual. What''s wrong, I asked. He just gave me a kindly brush-off. I could tell when he wasn't feeling well. "How's that camera been treatin' ya?" he asked this in a faint stammer. "Oh fine, fine." He asked if he could just see it for one second. Of course, I'd answered, then placed it in his bony hands. "Would you mind headin' out for a sec?" I nodded at his request and left the room. Minutes passed before I asked if I could return. No reply.

I could not believe it, the old man had croaked right there with my camera in his hands. I slowly made my way over and picked up the camera to see what was being projected off the mini screen on the side: me naked, doing an awful Godzilla impression. I then noticed something on the side of the camera. It was an etching, done with a knife: Jacob Anderson, to have felt once more a bond, to fall into the bright abyss, I thank you.

I'll assume he had written it right before he caught my horrible misuse of all he had had left of his daughters'. I erased the tape before anyone else could see it, but not before I burned one still frame into my memory. The picture I've drawn is what I imagined shattered the ailing man's heart. Though the doctor told us Anderson's time had been up long before that, I know it was I who'd done it. My first semi-sexual experience, my first arousal, would also be my last.

How the FUCK was this ignored? This was awesome.

[TachyonEvan]

http://img55.imageshack.us/img55/2484/252d1e10398f711709b093bnv9.gif

No condom? She's smiling because he doesn't know a damn thing about insurance.

[BlueFlame]

How the FUCK was this ignored? This was awesome.
This.
I have no life, I read the whole thread...

[piglet]

http://i44.tinypic.com/23jg9yc.png

[lonelysuperstar]

http://i44.tinypic.com/23jg9yc.png

haha, looks like your penis is about to be bitten off by pac man.

[AJ F]

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y293/fadetoblack726/poop.jpg

[BryterJonah]

You can shit out of your tiny dick?!

[TheSkyline]

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y293/fadetoblack726/poop.jpg

You can shit out of your tiny dick?!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[fortoday]

i cum blood

[zion the lion]

...I really dont even know what to think about all of this. The pope is never going to forgive any of you for this crazy shit.

[jay_klinkhammer]

i cum blood



So Good, Keyboard Cat.

[fortoday]

true story

[jay_klinkhammer]

Fortoday, 2 for 2. KEEP THEM COMING.

[BlueFlame]

true story
Bahahahhaaaa!!!! Blue balls :D

[tawtaw]

true story

Blue balls are a great touch.

[AJ F]

...I really dont even know what to think about all of this. The pope is never going to forgive any of you for this crazy shit.

The Pope's a Nazi

[t_ashley]

so, this made my day.

[AndrewIcex]

Title: "Space-Age BC"

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d165/korig5785/SpaceBC.jpg

[LaDiabla]

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d165/korig5785/SpaceBC.jpg

this is very creative. kudos.

[fake empire]

http://i43.tinypic.com/dn1pnt.jpg
http://i43.tinypic.com/k2ybyh.jpg

[LaDiabla]

http://i43.tinypic.com/dn1pnt.jpg
http://i43.tinypic.com/k2ybyh.jpg

i like how you added colour!

[zion the lion]

http://i43.tinypic.com/dn1pnt.jpg
http://i43.tinypic.com/k2ybyh.jpg

I cant stand the whole hand on the head thing. It drives me crazy.

[fake empire]

I cant stand the whole hand on the head thing. It drives me crazy.
She didn't like it either! hahahhaha

[zion the lion]

She didn't like it either! hahahhaha

I dont think many people do. Every time that happens to me, I have to resist the urge to smack the guys hand away.

[fake empire]

I dont think many people do. Every time that happens to me, I have to resist the urge to smack the guys hand away.
I felt compelled to take charge

[zion the lion]

I felt compelled to take charge

Well when I give blow jobs I'm in charge, so theres really no point in the hand on head move...I dont put my hand on a guys head I dont think.

I dont even get why they do that.

[fake empire]

Well when I give blow jobs I'm in charge, so theres really no point in the hand on head move...I dont put my hand on a guys head I dont think.

I dont even get why they do that.
every girl I've gone down on has put her hand on my head

[quarterhorse101]

Well when I give blow jobs I'm in charge, so theres really no point in the hand on head move...I dont put my hand on a guys head I dont think.

I dont even get why they do that.

every girl I've gone down on has put her hand on my head

haha I think its hot! though no one's ever done it to me.

[fake empire]

haha I think its hot! though no one's ever done it to me.
:-)

[zion the lion]

every girl I've gone down on has put her hand on my head

I'm not really sure what I'm doing with my hands, but I'm pretty sure they arent on the person's head. I wouldnt want someone to feel like I'm drowning them in my vagina.

[MarsEatWorld]

http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs115.snc1/4842_1119872682643_1401810384_30465 019_6020162_n.jpg

puzzle strip tease part 2

[4N6 science]

haha I think its hot! though no one's ever done it to me.

oh Hey der?

[jay_klinkhammer]

I'm not really sure what I'm doing with my hands, but I'm pretty sure they arent on the person's head. I wouldnt want someone to feel like I'm drowning them in my vagina.

Quoted.


And also, any guy would love to be drowned in any woman's vagina.

[quarterhorse101]

oh Hey der?

herrow. you catch me at such good moments haha

[4N6 science]

herrow. you catch me at such good moments haha

I know. I'm sneaky like that.

[AlexEnglish]

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=20qghfm&s=5
heres my contribution

[spencersnoise]

Quoted.


And also, any guy would love to be drowned in any woman's vagina.

i would like to take a moment here to say there are some vaginas i would not like to come within a 5 foot radius of, let alone be drowned in the empty vat formerly accommodating rotten fish soaked in vinegar.

[quarterhorse101]

i would like to take a moment here to say there are some vaginas i would not like to come within a 5 foot radius of, let alone be drowned in the empty vat formerly accommodating rotten fish soaked in vinegar.

that paints a nice picture.

[muttley]

You can shit out of your tiny dick?!

lol'ed.

[muttley]

http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n192/turkydayroxmysox/hawt.jpg

[the1]

http://i44.tinypic.com/23jg9yc.png

"I'm Cummin, LOL"

:-d That's golden!!! I also love how you have no arms, and literally seem to be packin a tripod.

So...my turn.

http://i42.tinypic.com/bx9g6.jpg

[spansen]

http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs115.snc1/4842_1119872682643_1401810384_30465 019_6020162_n.jpg

puzzle strip tease part 2

oww owwwwwwww

[deanster321]

Some of the pictures in this thread are just beautiful beyond words. True works of art.

[AndrewIcex]

I am thinking of creating another piece of work.

[a_money]

this thread is incredible. I'm starting my picture right now.

[a_money]

http://i31.tinypic.com/jq261z.jpg

[a_money]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v492/adieu/lulz.jpg

hahaha.
so good.

[caress me down]

Holy fucking lol. So many amazing pictures. In the process of making one

[caress me down]

http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/7799/67267032.jpg (http://img4.imageshack.us/i/67267032.jpg/)


edit: I'm not dating a midget

[AndrewIcex]

http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/7799/67267032.jpg (http://img4.imageshack.us/i/67267032.jpg/)


edit: I'm not dating a midget

Get jizzed in the eye?

[caress me down]

Get jizzed in the eye?
No way.

[AndrewIcex]

No way.
Hmmm, well did you guys get caught?

[caress me down]

Hmmm, well did you guys get caught?
Yes. Worst day of my life. That was over a year ago and I still get flustered thinking about it!

[AndrewIcex]

Yes. Worst day of my life. That was over a year ago and I still get flustered thinking about it!
Ah what was the punishment??

[caress me down]

Ah what was the punishment??
I wasn't allowed to go to the beach after prom at first, but then they felt bad so they let me go for a day and a night, but I had to spend the night in a hotel with them.
But that was nothinggggggggggg. The real punishment was that they have never trusted me after that. And they say really fucking awkward things. One time we were out to dinner and I was saying something about my boyfriend and my Dad commented on how scrawny he looks without clothes on. F my lifeeeeeee

[AndrewIcex]

I wasn't allowed to go to the beach after prom at first, but then they felt bad so they let me go for a day and a night, but I had to spend the night in a hotel with them.
But that was nothinggggggggggg. The real punishment was that they have never trusted me after that. And they say really fucking awkward things. One time we were out to dinner and I was saying something about my boyfriend and my Dad commented on how scrawny he looks without clothes on. F my lifeeeeeee
Hahahaha your dad picking the poor kid apart, as funny as that sounds... I must say it does not sound fun anymore.. would have sucked for your dad to walk in on his daughter doing things.. when I am a dad, I will not be a fan of walking in on something like that. I would be pissed.

[caress me down]

Hahahaha your dad picking the poor kid apart, as funny as that sounds... I must say it does not sound fun anymore.. would have sucked for your dad to walk in on his daughter doing things.. when I am a dad, I will not be a fan of walking in on something like that. I would be pissed.
Yeah I actually did feel bad for awhile. His innocent vision of me was shattered in two seconds

[bladerdude360]

Can't believe I just found this, it's pretty amusing.

[AndrewIcex]

Yeah I actually did feel bad for awhile. His innocent vision of me was shattered in two seconds
Well of course, that seems expected... life is a bitch sometimes haha.

[Kutty]

http://i28.tinypic.com/mw9qh0.jpg

[caress me down]

why did this thread die???

[SilenceBrokenTT]

this page alone has me just cracking up...

[speak easy]

Yes. Worst day of my life. That was over a year ago and I still get flustered thinking about it!

hahaha what did he say when he came in?

[caress me down]

hahaha what did he say when he came in?
He was so shocked that no words could be formed in his mouth

[speak easy]

He was so shocked that no words could be formed in his mouth

hahaha wowww total mood killer

[caress me down]

hahaha wowww total mood killer
Tell me about it! We have really bad luck with this stuff

[speak easy]

Tell me about it! We have really bad luck with this stuff

haha happend more than once? yall are fuckin up

[caress me down]

haha happend more than once? yall are fuckin up
We're not tryinggg to! I'm tellin ya it's bad luck!

[speak easy]

We're not tryinggg to! I'm tellin ya it's bad luck!

haha true ive had a couple close calls myself but lock the door or something lollll

[argg_xo]

http://i28.tinypic.com/mw9qh0.jpg
Why is the baby in the closet?

[speak easy]

http://i43.tinypic.com/dn1pnt.jpg
http://i43.tinypic.com/k2ybyh.jpg

hahahahahahaha beautiful

[caress me down]

haha true ive had a couple close calls myself but lock the door or something lollll
my house is like 100 years old and has zero locks!

[speak easy]

my house is like 100 years old and has zero locks!

wow you might be fucked then im sorry. try going to his crib?

[caress me down]

wow you might be fucked then im sorry. try going to his crib?
His house creaks a lot and I freak the fuck out cause no matter where someone is in the house I'm convinced they're about to walk in... it's broooootal

[speak easy]

His house creaks a lot and I freak the fuck out cause no matter where someone is in the house I'm convinced they're about to walk in... it's broooootal

hahaha i dont even know thennnn

[caress me down]

hahaha i dont even know thennnn
Haha me either! We've managed to work around it though. I'm making it sound much worse than it actually is

[speak easy]

Haha me either! We've managed to work around it though. I'm making it sound much worse than it actually is

hahaha yeahhhhh its straight tho i understand :)

[Hockeytown]

http://www.o2designz.com/forum/uploads/U249-1248935641.jpg

[brandino15]

http://www.o2designz.com/forum/uploads/U249-1248935641.jpg

never would've guessed you're 14... ;-)

[Hockeytown]

Did that purposely because I knew someone would comment on the fact that I'm fourteen... ;-)