gillianhsieh
12/21/05, 01:12 AM
so i've noticed, and this repeats itself every single time i'm off from school, that when i am no longer busy with avoiding math or chemistry or whatever else it is that i procrastinate, that i start to get carried away with really awful thoughts. and they're totally ridiculous and are things no one deserves to think about, and it's a huge source of anxiety for me.
over the past 48 hours, i have panicked about things like
1. being fat, corollary thought was eating chocolate santas while getting liposuction (both of which are stupid ideas normally but sound really great right now),
2. being academically incapable
3. getting electrocuted accidentally in the bath because of the static electricity from a wool sweater (this is physically impossible)
4. death
5. lack of admission to medical school
6. whether or not i have skin cancer and whether i will one day develop colon or breast cancer
7. the similarities between my hands and my dog's front paws
8. the environmental impact of paper plates (trees, water to grow trees, energy to dissolve wood pulp, etc) versus using regular plates and washing them (water, water purification chemicals, biodegradability os soap) and the impending energy crisis.
9. blah blah blah this list continues i'm so sorry you're already bored
i just hate being at home and thinking about these completely unhinged and ungrounded things. it's like i need some sort of OFF switch for my brain, so that when i return home, i stop thinking completely. but on the other hand, i clearly don't want to switch off my brain because i haven't begun taking like... thorazine or some equally debilitating drug yet.
thank god for absolutepunk, finally something that changes fast enough for me to be almost completely entertained. yay internet!
oh yeah, and 56k internet that we have at home also really harshes my mellow. ugh.
over the past 48 hours, i have panicked about things like
1. being fat, corollary thought was eating chocolate santas while getting liposuction (both of which are stupid ideas normally but sound really great right now),
2. being academically incapable
3. getting electrocuted accidentally in the bath because of the static electricity from a wool sweater (this is physically impossible)
4. death
5. lack of admission to medical school
6. whether or not i have skin cancer and whether i will one day develop colon or breast cancer
7. the similarities between my hands and my dog's front paws
8. the environmental impact of paper plates (trees, water to grow trees, energy to dissolve wood pulp, etc) versus using regular plates and washing them (water, water purification chemicals, biodegradability os soap) and the impending energy crisis.
9. blah blah blah this list continues i'm so sorry you're already bored
i just hate being at home and thinking about these completely unhinged and ungrounded things. it's like i need some sort of OFF switch for my brain, so that when i return home, i stop thinking completely. but on the other hand, i clearly don't want to switch off my brain because i haven't begun taking like... thorazine or some equally debilitating drug yet.
thank god for absolutepunk, finally something that changes fast enough for me to be almost completely entertained. yay internet!
oh yeah, and 56k internet that we have at home also really harshes my mellow. ugh.