can i get some advise?

[babyg299]

I dont know whats the proper rules for this forum, but I need some advise

[crimsonCHAOS]

advice about what?

[babyg299]

relationship stuff

[scmaley]

It's "advice." And that's all I have to offer.

[babyg299]

done

[babyg299]

and ya im a college grad who spells crappy o well

[lovely864md]

Advise is a verb. Advice is a noun. You are 28 years old, it's time that you learn that one.

From what I got from that, he's a cad. He will most likely cheat on you if he hasn't already.

[babyg299]

ehhh im a history major, its too late to change my writing skills

he has never cheated on anyone

[Smash Adams]

Make an account on that site, get him to e-cheat on you with yourself, and then catch him in the act, maybe pretend to be 16 so Chris Hansen can come too

[Heart-A-Tact]

ehhh im a history major, its too late to change my writing skills

he has never cheated on anyone

I can't even imagine why you would think that.

[babyg299]

lol, but we live together, and he might find out. I dont know if i want to be that sneaky.
lol good ol chris

[lovely864md]

ok so I have been going out with my boyfriend close to six months. we live together, and for the most part everything is fine.
but i absolutely hate that he spends all his time at home online in a bodybuilding forum talking to people. he helps with relationship advise kinda like here but more along the lines of teaching guys how to have confidence and pick up loys of women.
sometimes he posts things on there that really bug me, he tells all these people he know absolutely everything. today he had a post about girls chatting him up and throwing out sexual innuendos at him, and why do they do that now that he has a girl, and why cant it be two yrs ago. that just really bugs me
or he tells other girls about our sexual life. i dont do that with other guys
i dont know what to do, i want to talk about it but we had a fight awhile ago about insecurity. i have never been insecure before but something about him sets me off. he use to be a whore in the past, and he likes to mention other girls, and it just gets under my skin

sorry this is long, if you have other questions just ask

Bolded part should explain itself.

Anyways..
1. He's giving guys advice on how to pick up lots of women. Hmmm, something he thinks he's good at? I'm going to go ahead and assume that he likes doing that.
2. Wishes it was two years ago so that he could get with the girls chatting him up? I can just palpate the devotion he has to you.
3. He tells girls about your sex life. Don't kid yourself, he's clearly letting them know just what he's capable of. You know what hearing about other people have sex does? It makes the person hearing want to have sex.
4. "He used to be a whore" is bad enough, but "he likes to mention other girls"? No guy actually considerate of you and your feelings would do that.

I just don't see the point in wasting your time on a relationship like that when there are so many obvious wrongs.

[Reaver]

ok so I have been going out with my boyfriend close to six months. we live together, and for the most part everything is fine.
but i absolutely hate that he spends all his time at home online in a bodybuilding forum talking to people. he helps with relationship advise kinda like here but more along the lines of teaching guys how to have confidence and pick up loys of women.
sometimes he posts things on there that really bug me, he tells all these people he know absolutely everything. today he had a post about girls chatting him up and throwing out sexual innuendos at him, and why do they do that now that he has a girl, and why cant it be two yrs ago. that just really bugs me
or he tells other girls about our sexual life. i dont do that with other guys
i dont know what to do, i want to talk about it but we had a fight awhile ago about insecurity. i have never been insecure before but something about him sets me off. he use to be a whore in the past, and he likes to mention other girls, and it just gets under my skin

sorry this is long, if you have other questions just ask

ok, I don't mean to be a smart ass, but isn't the present perfect progressive supposed to be used for completed periods in the past? just correct me if I'm wrong, please.

on the topic, well, that sure would bother me as well. I don't know what kind of advice you expect, but if this was me, I would just talk to him about it. What's wrong with that?

[babyg299]

yes yes my writing is like a 7 yr olds

he has a way of turning things back on me, and i dont want that to happen

[wewascontenders]

he's talking to complete strangers, i don't see a problem.

[babyg299]

Bolded part should explain itself.

Anyways..
1. He's giving guys advice on how to pick up lots of women. Hmmm, something he thinks he's good at? I'm going to go ahead and assume that he likes doing that.
2. Wishes it was two years ago so that he could get with the girls chatting him up? I can just palpate the devotion he has to you.
3. He tells girls about your sex life. Don't kid yourself, he's clearly letting them know just what he's capable of. You know what hearing about other people have sex does? It makes the person hearing want to have sex.
4. "He used to be a whore" is bad enough, but "he likes to mention other girls"? No guy actually considerate of you and your feelings would do that.

I just don't see the point in wasting your time on a relationship like that when there are so many obvious wrongs.

those are some good points

[babyg299]

he's talking to complete strangers, i don't see a problem.

thats it, im trying to see if im overreacting, or not

im trying to pick what i fight about

[RecklessXRandy]

I can spell better than you!

[lovely864md]

He turns things back on you? Oh, he's controlling too. He's like a fairytale princess!

[babyg299]

I can spell better than you!

most people can :)

[babyg299]

He turns things back on you? Oh, he's controlling too. He's like a fairytale princess!

i figured i would ask another forum how they felt about all this stuff, and would they flirt with other people on the forum when they have a significant other

[SanePsychotic]

I would ditch this guy because he seems like jackass to me. Do it.

[lovely864md]

i figured i would ask another forum how they felt about all this stuff, and would they flirt with other people on the forum when they have a significant other

The even more troubling thing is that he's telling you about flirting with these other girls. He's clearly trying to provoke some sort of reaction or see if you'll put shut up and put up with this. If you think it's going to stop here while you decide to be passive about it, you're mistaken.

[babyg299]

even if everything but this online stuff that I hate has been fantastic?

[lovely864md]

These are called warning signs. This is a sign that not everything is actually so fantastic.

Obviously it's your relationship and no one on any online forum knows everything about it, but clearly you do recognize that something's not right here to be posting asking about it. You are 28 years old, you're not in high school, why delude yourself and waste time with a guy when things clearly aren't right?

[babyg299]

he does not even like for me to go and look at this forum

[Reaver]

she has a point there, I mean why is he telling you that? Is he really that much on an ego?
or maybe he just doesn't know that it bothers you.
there we go again, you'd better talk about it :D

[SanePsychotic]

he does not even like for me to go and look at this forum

That should tell you that something up. You know, like "Ding! Ding! Ding! Somethin' ain't right here!" ?

[phil19]

i find it hard to believe that you're 28

[prefix-core]

...Trust counts for alot in any relationship. Internet or otherwise. If his Internet antics are making you un-easy, that's sure to bleed into other areas as well. Try talking to him about it. If he's not willing to talk about it? There's probably something sketchy going on.

[AJ F]

Get with some one more your age. Try the local middle school.

[zion the lion]

ok so I have been going out with my boyfriend close to six months. we live together, and for the most part everything is fine.
but i absolutely hate that he spends all his time at home online in a bodybuilding forum talking to people. he helps with relationship advise kinda like here but more along the lines of teaching guys how to have confidence and pick up loys of women.
sometimes he posts things on there that really bug me, he tells all these people he know absolutely everything. today he had a post about girls chatting him up and throwing out sexual innuendos at him, and why do they do that now that he has a girl, and why cant it be two yrs ago. that just really bugs me
or he tells other girls about our sexual life. i dont do that with other guys
i dont know what to do, i want to talk about it but we had a fight awhile ago about insecurity. i have never been insecure before but something about him sets me off. he use to be a whore in the past, and he likes to mention other girls, and it just gets under my skin

sorry this is long, if you have other questions just ask

Relationships that move quick like that are usually a precursor of abuse. If you decide to stick with him and see how this whole thing works out, then I'll have no sympathy for you when you come back and start posting about how he hit you. By the way, him bringing up other girls and making you insecure is emotional abuse, which is usually the first step.

[phil19]

Relationships that move quick like that are usually a precursor of abuse. If you decide to stick with him and see how this whole thing works out, then I'll have no sympathy for you when you come back and start posting about how he hit you. By the way, him bringing up other girls and making you insecure is emotional abuse, which is usually the first step.

really? how do you make that connection?

[prefix-core]

Erm. I don't know as it's necessarily always a precursor to abuse. But I can see how it could be. If nothing else, it may be a sign of co-dependency.

OR maybe it's possible for people to just, y'know, like each other alot and rush things? Haha. Just saying. Shit happens.

[Jake Denning]

Your dating Wayne Brady? Cool Beans.

[zion the lion]

really? how do you make that connection?

Erm. I don't know as it's necessarily always a precursor to abuse. But I can see how it could be. If nothing else, it may be a sign of co-dependency.

OR maybe it's possible for people to just, y'know, like each other alot and rush things? Haha. Just saying. Shit happens.

My dad went to jail last year for beating the shit out of his girlfriend and my 3 year old littler sister and my 2 year old brother. He also beat the crap out of my brother's mom and threatened my mom when she was pregnant with me. My mom and step dad used to hit me all the time until I learned how to fight back. My mom also used to work at a homeless shelter for abused women. I think I know the signs of abuse when I see them. I didnt say it was abuse for sure but it does look like the first warning signs.

[anamericangod]

I like how most of this turned into an English lesson.

[Hamlet]

ok so I have been going out with my boyfriend close to six months. we live together, and for the most part everything is fine.
but i absolutely hate that he spends all his time at home online in a bodybuilding forum talking to people. he helps with relationship advise kinda like here but more along the lines of teaching guys how to have confidence and pick up loys of women.
sometimes he posts things on there that really bug me, he tells all these people he know absolutely everything. today he had a post about girls chatting him up and throwing out sexual innuendos at him, and why do they do that now that he has a girl, and why cant it be two yrs ago. that just really bugs me
or he tells other girls about our sexual life. i dont do that with other guys
i dont know what to do, i want to talk about it but we had a fight awhile ago about insecurity. i have never been insecure before but something about him sets me off. he use to be a whore in the past, and he likes to mention other girls, and it just gets under my skin

sorry this is long, if you have other questions just ask

This is actually why you like him.

- He's openly sexual
- He's skilled with picking up other women
- He is a challenge to 'tame' and control
- He is competed for by other women

You're not threatened by him, you're threatened by the fact that he has a lot of options.

The only thing I would tell him is to not talk about your sex life to others, and not for him to talk about other girls when he's with you.
A gentleman never tells.

[phil19]

My dad went to jail last year for beating the shit out of his girlfriend and my 3 year old littler sister and my 2 year old brother. He also beat the crap out of my brother's mom and threatened my mom when she was pregnant with me. My mom and step dad used to hit me all the time until I learned how to fight back. My mom also used to work at a homeless shelter for abused women. I think I know the signs of abuse when I see them. I didnt say it was abuse for sure but it does look like the first warning signs.

im sorry to hear that, but i dont think moving in with someone after 6 months is a sign of future abuse. my mate and his gf moved in together after 6 months and theres no abuse going on there. unless you consider her destroying my mates life and shameless gold-digging abuse

[zion the lion]

im sorry to hear that, but i dont think moving in with someone after 6 months is a sign of future abuse. my mate and his gf moved in together after 6 months and theres no abuse going on there. unless you consider her destroying my mates life and shameless gold-digging abuse

In abuse shelters (and when they go to schools talking to girls about this) they talk about moving quickly as a big big thing. I didnt say it was an absolute sign I was just saying it's usually a sign.

[phil19]

In abuse shelters (and when they go to schools talking to girls about this) they talk about moving quickly as a big big thing. I didnt say it was an absolute sign I was just saying it's usually a sign.

oh ok. fair enough. i was unaware of such a correlation

[zion the lion]

oh ok. fair enough. i was unaware of such a correlation

I used to know why it worked that way...there's something about codependency. They have these warning sign check lists and explainations in the women's bathrooms at the hospital, I'm getting ready to go there, I'll check it out later.

[fadedmemories]

ok so I have been going out with my boyfriend close to six months. we live together, and for the most part everything is fine.
but i absolutely hate that he spends all his time at home online in a bodybuilding forum talking to people. he helps with relationship advise kinda like here but more along the lines of teaching guys how to have confidence and pick up loys of women.
sometimes he posts things on there that really bug me, he tells all these people he know absolutely everything. today he had a post about girls chatting him up and throwing out sexual innuendos at him, and why do they do that now that he has a girl, and why cant it be two yrs ago. that just really bugs me
or he tells other girls about our sexual life. i dont do that with other guys
i dont know what to do, i want to talk about it but we had a fight awhile ago about insecurity. i have never been insecure before but something about him sets me off. he use to be a whore in the past, and he likes to mention other girls, and it just gets under my skin

sorry this is long, if you have other questions just ask
Post about your sex life here. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

[babyg299]

i find it hard to believe that you're 28

why? i just turned the other day.

[phil19]

why? i just turned the other day.

because of how you write

[babyg299]

...Trust counts for alot in any relationship. Internet or otherwise. If his Internet antics are making you un-easy, that's sure to bleed into other areas as well. Try talking to him about it. If he's not willing to talk about it? There's probably something sketchy going on.

i talked to him about it, worked things out. he feels I invade his personal space by going and so called "checking in" on him
I know he is not cheating on me, there is just a sense of respect i feel being broken.



Erm. I don't know as it's necessarily always a precursor to abuse. But I can see how it could be. If nothing else, it may be a sign of co-dependency.

OR maybe it's possible for people to just, y'know, like each other alot and rush things? Haha. Just saying. Shit happens.

we were friends for years before we hooked up, that is why things went so fast. we just knew each other well. we know each others past, and since I have so many fears, i freak out about things.

This is actually why you like him.

- He's openly sexual
- He's skilled with picking up other women
- He is a challenge to 'tame' and control
- He is competed for by other women

You're not threatened by him, you're threatened by the fact that he has a lot of options.

The only thing I would tell him is to not talk about your sex life to others, and not for him to talk about other girls when he's with you.
A gentleman never tells.

thats the things to, he is a charming man, young girls seem to love him, and what man does not like a decent looking girls giving them attention.

I know guys talk about this kind of stuff with their friends, he just does is in forums, and I hate it


Post about your sex life here. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

lol I always considered i should post a bunch in a forum of my own, but he is not the jealous type at all

[babyg299]

because of how you write


its cuz i really dont care, im sitting in the dark and just typing out quick, not bothering to check my sentence structure or anything

[phil19]

its cuz i really dont care, im sitting in the dark and just typing out quick, not bothering to check my sentence structure or anything

ok

[fadedmemories]

lol I always considered i should post a bunch in a forum of my own, but he is not the jealous type at all
Good. It won't hurt anyone if you would post some of your own here ;-)

[babyg299]

Good. It won't hurt anyone if you would post some of your own here ;-)

we could start a thread about all of our steamy sex lives, and all the hot people we wish we could bang

[fadedmemories]

we could start a thread about all of our steamy sex lives, and all the hot people we wish we could bang
DO IT!

[babyg299]

DO IT!
hmmm, i wonder if that would get deleted

[fadedmemories]

hmmm, i wonder if that would get deleted
Of course not. Worse threads have been created.

[babyg299]

it almost seems like the craziest place you ever had sex at thread could be going that way

[thicky eight]

he has a way of turning things back on me, and i dont want that to happen

Well, the news isn't good. You don't want that to happen anymore, but, like your writing skills, it's too late to change things.
You're gonna be a tool for the rest of your life.
Sorry, I meant 'lyfe'.
Understand?

[babyg299]

not a tool, cool chick, that doesnt care at all how she writes in a forum, yup

[babyg299]

Well, the news isn't good. You don't want that to happen anymore, but, like your writing skills, it's too late to change things.
You're gonna be a tool for the rest of your life.
Sorry, I meant 'lyfe'.
Understand?

not a tool