Rise & Fall

[Ron57]

Alrighty I wrote this one last September...I'm sorta new here and I've written a LOT of stuff so expect to see more from me. But this is one of my older ones. Check 'er out.

Rise & Fall

[Verse 1]
Take a moment
See the light
Take a break from all the fights

[Pre-Chorus]
Find the answers
Hear it all
See, those who rise will always fall

[Chorus]
Those who rise,
Yeah those who rise,
Those who rise will always fall.
And those with ties,
That bind their lives,
Will suffer the worse of us all...

[Verse 2]
Watch them live,
So happily.
And know that one day they will see

[Pre-Chorus]
The end of life,
The end of it all,
See, those who rise will always fall.

[Chorus]
Those who rise,
Yeah, those who rise,
Those who rise will always fall...
And those with lies,
That hide their lives,
Will be exposed and they will fall...

[Bridge/Interlude]
Whoa......Whoa.....Whoa......Whoa.. .. [4x] (In harmony)

[Verse 3]
Take a break
And see the land
And know that one day I will stand.

[Pre-Chorus]
Above the world,
Above them all,
And I will rise and never fall.

[Chorus]
Those who rise,
Yeah those who rise,
Those who rise will always fall.
But in our eyes,
We strive to rise,
And be the rulers of them all...

[Ending]
Whoa....Whoa....
We don't believe that we will fall...
Whoa....Whoa....
But the truth is clear now standing tall...
Whoa....Whoa....

Our obsession will kill...us...all.......
[End]

© Ron Karl

[BryterJonah]

Major lulz @ "Whoa....Whoa...."

This song/poem literally means nothing, right?
Because it just appears as if you're just restating the same shit about stuff rising(happy shit) and falling(bad shit), plus the obvious, "yo stuff dies MAN!" lines. Boring.

[Ron57]

I'm not the best song writer. I write on impulse, without thought, as you've seemed to notice.
Thanks for the opinion.

[Mike Smith]

Yeah, no offense ron, but since you're a noob on here, you will usually get a LOT of shit about stuff you post, no matter how good you think your stuff is.

I've been here on AP for around 5 months now and people are just now starting to like the stuff i post, because i've taken what they had to say to me and put it to good use.

So just wait for people to give more criticism and grow and use what they say to get better, because quite honestly, this song does have no point, and you shouldnt post stuff like this on here as all it will do is get criticized badly because it's of shitty quality

[twisted.demon]

Hey Ron, I agree with Mike totally, i just posted two songs that sound great, but the lyrics are very cliche. But don't give up, dude, I know I want, this song is okay for my standards, the people would have to hear the musical, but of you plan on being a really successful songwriter like I would one day like to be, you won't give up. Hope to see some more lyrics soon =D

[Ron57]

Thanks everyone. I'm taking all criticism and plan to use it the best I can. I'm about to post another song.

[newtothis]

I know you said that you write on impulse. That can be a good thing when you channel it. Emotion is good. Heartfelt feelings are good. But don't forget to have form and style and lyrics that just make the reader want to never turn away. What is here is a song that I feel I have heard over 9000 times already. When you write, make the listener/ reader feel captivated. Captured. Enraptured. When you right, be impulsive, but remember that a bit of decent planning is always beneficial.