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ArTkY_
01/09/06, 02:48 PM
I wrote this in Chemistry... tell me what you think. I like a few lines in it, but its mostly meh.

Make a wish...
This sunset,
it's beautiful.
Let's watch the colors
distort the soon to be night sky.
If I die right now...
Make sure you remember,
remember this day,
as the one day we lived as humans...
de la sympathie
01/09/06, 03:28 PM
Not your best by far, but it was pretty good for the most part. Last line: "lives as humans" = "live as humans"
ArTkY_
01/09/06, 03:37 PM
Damn typos.

Thanks.
de la sympathie
01/09/06, 03:58 PM
np
apoemtothedead
01/09/06, 04:25 PM
It's like something that comes out of my ass

Note: A penis joke is not necessary.
de la sympathie
01/09/06, 04:29 PM
It's like something that comes out of my ass

Note: A penis joke is not necessary.

Poetry comes out of your ass? Really?

How interesting, haha
apoemtothedead
01/09/06, 04:33 PM
Poetry comes out of your ass? Really?

How interesting, haha
IT WAS A SHIT JOKE! Jeez! Back in the day I wouldn't get lip like this.

haha
de la sympathie
01/09/06, 04:40 PM
IT WAS A SHIT JOKE! Jeez! Back in the day I wouldn't get lip like this.

haha

Back in the day, I wasn't here. You're a golden oldie. Haha, the Golden Girls... connection... ah, never mind. :thumbsup:
ArTkY_
01/09/06, 05:55 PM
It's like something that comes out of my ass

Note: A penis joke is not necessary.
I missed your ripping in this forum. Welcome back Mark.
FScott
01/11/06, 05:08 AM
Ever thought about writing books for children?
ImpulZe
01/11/06, 06:00 AM
Its alright...I right stuff im chemistry to, such a boring class....
ArTkY_
01/11/06, 12:13 PM
Ever thought about writing books for children?
hahaha, no.

Ever read any of my other stuff?
de la sympathie
01/11/06, 02:51 PM
Ever thought about writing books for children?

Che Guevara?
apoemtothedead
01/11/06, 04:02 PM
Its alright...I right stuff im chemistry to, such a boring class....
Uranium / Sulfur Uranium Carbon Postassium
ArTkY_
01/11/06, 04:05 PM
Its alright...I right stuff im chemistry to, such a boring class....
I love Chemistry, I just wrote it because I was done with my work.
theMATEOlife
01/11/06, 07:48 PM
i enjoyed your other stuff more, but this wasn't half bad.

it's no "murder me pretty", but we can't all expect to write with hawthorne heights grandeur