Can't Stop

[Th3Br0k3nS0ul]

I just want some opinions on this. It's probably pretty bad but I was just wondering if it was or not.

I'm so fucked up off, of my, life and drugs
I can't cease this cough, with my, knife and blood
But this I can stop, it's these, delusions
I see fables from Aesop, inside these illusions
My mind is like a sweatshop, it's just working nonstop
Maybe it was from my, brain contusions?

[thespearkid]

It sounds really br00tal core. Poetically, it's not good at all. delusion/illusions is a very overused rhyme in the type of music you seem to write, along with most (read: all) of your other images.

[SuicideKing]

what's with all the commas?