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SicTrnsitGloria
01/10/06, 09:20 PM
So I just scrambled this out of my head in the past hour to complete that bridge I'd been talking about earlier. Keep in mind that I still plan on touching it up/changing it, this is just rough.

My eyes opened up to the sound of guns.
We are nothing but misplaced specks on the canvas of the city.
Concen-trate oxygen, let it inside your skin.
Ashamed? Embrace the sin.I won't keep replacing complements with pity.

They all were left in awe, I watched you drop every jaw.
Collected every piece of bone that shattered across the pavement.
Tonight, we'll have some fun. Beautiful,like a shiny gun,
To spill, a fluid torch, ignite my life.

(Your words do not justify her, Don't look now, I'm just on fire)

<Chorus>
Adrenaline coursing through my veins,
and I swear they could see me shake,
But I'll be alright, use this as my disguise.
Do your worst, I can't concentrate
on any feeling besides this hate.<<(this line I'm not so sure about, but it works for now)
Take a look around, I swear I'll cut you down.
</chorus>

Bring all your pseudo-friends, and all your confidence.
You're no match, for common sense.
Meet me, on Brandy Square. Noone can stop you there,
Noone will be aware, enough to smell your fright.

(Your words do not justify her, Don't look now, I'm just on fire)

<Chorus>



(An attempt to put out the light, the fire in my eyes)

Our eyes rolled back, in the middle of the night
Our skin was flushed, and then cocaine white
We're seeing in red, through our bloodshot sight
There's about to be a casualty tonight.
Our lives revolve around the center of a blade,
Here's where hearts are broken, and dreams are made.
A cold wind blows, by the air we are betrayed.
It's in my hands,and even if we fall, we stay.

preppyak
01/10/06, 11:09 PM
My eyes opened up to the sound of guns.
We are nothing but misplaced specks on the canvas of the city.
Concen-trate oxygen, let it inside your skin.
Ashamed? Embrace the sin.I won't keep replacing complements with pity.
I really like the opening, and like before, the bridge is excellent as well. Keep it up.

Slaytus
01/11/06, 06:06 AM
nice scheme for the ending. Reminded me of Chasing Victory.

theMATEOlife
01/11/06, 09:37 AM
it's pretty swell

a speedo model
01/11/06, 09:43 AM
i like it. it's very well-written. the second verse seems a bit weak compared to the rest, but overall it was very good.

SicTrnsitGloria
01/11/06, 12:25 PM
i like it. it's very well-written. the second verse seems a bit weak compared to the rest, but overall it was very good.

Thanks everyone. I agree about the second verse though, I'll do my best to strengthen it when I come around to making a final copy.

lfdfforever
01/11/06, 12:46 PM
its good

de la sympathie
01/11/06, 02:53 PM
Good work. It was so well written... This kind of stuff is what I come in here for. Thank you.