what you will

[newtothis]

* Along with your criticism, I ask for your interpretations, if you have any. I know this is ambiguous, and nonsensical. Call this... a break for those who have had to read a lot of bad poetry lately. Or for those who have too much on their minds. Sometimes it is nice to read something that may not make much sense. Thank you.





“If who I am is what I have and what I have is gone
then who am I?” was something i read once
i don’t know why it stayed with me so
because
really,
what do I have?
Ambidextrous.
Yes, that is the word.
No.
Dexterity?
in a quicksilver foe that i was born within, therefore,
in myself?
Or perhaps,
Terra Cotta
I think they were. Those soldiers. He had thousands. Ancient. Loyal.
have i one? Or do I err? “If who I am”…
Who is "I"?

[thespearkid]

My personal interpretation of this is that it has something to do with a lack of friends or friends that you can trust. The first eight lines sort of put that idea into action while the bits about the Terra Cotta soldiers drive it home. Or I could be totally wrong.

[The Personist]

My personal interpretation of this is that it has something to do with a lack of friends or friends that you can trust. The first eight lines sort of put that idea into action while the bits about the Terra Cotta soldiers drive it home. Or I could be totally wrong.

I agree with this.

Of course, I also see some sort of existential search for meaning...some Heidegger in there, maybe. I dunno.

A component of faith, perhaps?

I love the linguistic acrobatics, though. Kudos.

[newtothis]

haha. you both have little parts of the meaning, but you've also made it your own. good job. I guess one of the things I wanted here was to show that, despite the author's intent or intended meaning, people are always going to make a poem what they will. just a really intriguing concept to me.

[de la sympathie]

The terra cotta soldiers... I think I remember something about thousands of terra cotta soldiers guarding an emperor's tomb from some ancient Chinese dynasty. When they excavated the tomb, they found all the soldiers, guarding him in death and serving him in the afterlife. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I don't feel that this flows at all. The idea only seems to connect at the beginning and end, and the lines beginning at "Ambidextrous? Yes" to "Or perhaps," could be replaced or taken out entirely. The "terra cotta soldiers" part could be rephrased to make more sense and be more cohesive with the rest of the piece. It's not quite "stream of consciousness", but it does seem like you put some ideas together that could have made more sense if it had been a more continuous thought.

Edit: Forgot to add that I do like the structure. It's not too often that one sees a piece like that around here.

[newtothis]

The terra cotta soldiers... I think I remember something about thousands of terra cotta soldiers guarding an emperor's tomb from some ancient Chinese dynasty. When they excavated the tomb, they found all the soldiers, guarding him in death and serving him in the afterlife. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I don't feel that this flows at all. The idea only seems to connect at the beginning and end, and the lines beginning at "Ambidextrous? Yes" to "Or perhaps," could be replaced or taken out entirely. The "terra cotta soldiers" part could be rephrased to make more sense and be more cohesive with the rest of the piece. It's not quite "stream of consciousness", but it does seem like you put some ideas together that could have made more sense if it had been a more continuous thought.

Edit: Forgot to add that I do like the structure. It's not too often that one sees a piece like that around here.

You have the right memory of the terra cotta soldiers. I have always loved that concept. I understand what you are saying about the flow. I know this is not continuous. Quite frankly, that is one thing I wanted to try, in a way. It was such a different concept to me, that it sounded appealing. The poem does have a point, but it is really personal, making the extra adjectives seem really random. sorry for that. haha

oh and thanks for the complement about structure. I like to experiment.

[de la sympathie]

You have the right memory of the terra cotta soldiers. I have always loved that concept. I understand what you are saying about the flow. I know this is not continuous. Quite frankly, that is one thing I wanted to try, in a way. It was such a different concept to me, that it sounded appealing. The poem does have a point, but it is really personal, making the extra adjectives seem really random. sorry for that. haha

oh and thanks for the complement about structure. I like to experiment.

That's okay, it's understandable. Regardless of extra adjectives, this was nice. Keep at it :)