Defining a "break"

[AlexEnglish]

I'm just wondering, what's your guys definition of a break?

I'm asking this because last night, my girlfriend tells me she needs time to miss me, she feels we talk to the point she cant miss me. She feels that she can miss me physically, but she cant miss my personality. This started last night, and I have no idea when it will end. Is this a good thing? Is this a definition of a break?

[takemyhand]

She wants to have sex with someone other than you.

[Charles777]

She's just not that into you.

[Hamlet]

"You're emotionally walking away, instead of actually walking away. Which is stupid, because only one of those is good for your heart."

- Dr. Gregory House

[killerswells]

its over bro.

[derekmoyer4]

there is still some hope, do not get too depressed, but do not let it go for too long.

[kaycey]

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haha!

anal

[AlexEnglish]

The thing is she's been being a bitch to me lately (we've been dating for 8 months as of yesterday) because she's (apparantly) not used to having a guy that pushes her around, so she feels like she has to. We've decided were seeing eachother this Saturday, does this mean well make up, or is it going to be over?

[AlexEnglish]

Some more info if it's needed...

We haven't had sex... Sorry kay, no anal
I put up with her bitchyness because I love her so much
I feel like I can't stand up to her for fear of her freaking out on me, she's nearly bipolar sometime
It's the longest relationship either of us have had ( I'm well aware of my age, so please don't comment on how I'm only so young)
She's my best friend and my girlfriend, I have extremely strong feelings about her, she always says how she thinks I'm better than her and don't deserve her and all those cute compliment things. Even still, I feel like I'm working to make this work, we go to different schools, and I always feel like I'm making more of an effort than her.

[cauterize_this]

I went on a break with my boyfriend because I wanted to mess around with other guys. We still haven't gotten back togteher. Sorry bro, it isn't looking good.

BUT, maybe, if you're super attached(or really good in bed) she'll come back.

[AlexEnglish]

I'm attatched hook line and sinker atm

[kianacarly]

Going on a break worked wonders for Ross and Rachel

[CKY2K_Chicka777]

yea she wants to fool around with other guys


sorry :(

and yea its totally a break

[uglystar03]

In my definition, a "break" is just the beginning of a break-up. I have never seen a break end any other way. I am currently going through the same thing.

I dated a girl for 3 years and we had a whole mess of issues. We officially broke up at the beginning of February but we still haven't ended everything. Towards the last few months of our relationship, apparently I was being a dick to her so she started being really cold. She would have ridiculous mood swings. One minute she would be all lovey-dovey, the next she would ask me to not touch her. Needless to say, our sex life deteriorated as well. She started hanging out a lot with some guy that had a huge crush on her. They would drink and he would stay the night (before this happened, neither of us drank at all). Regardless, it was all a mess and still is.

I think we have both gotten to the point were we can finally move on. I kept hanging on because I thought she was "the one." Now I realize she may or may not be that girl, but if she is, now simply isn't the time. We're both young.

I don't think that story helped at all, did it?

[Five-Star]

no such thing if some one wants a break some one wants to break up.

[yoyostring]

http://mothsmokelingers.files.wordpress.co m/2008/11/kit-kat.jpg

[Five-Star]

http://mothsmokelingers.files.wordpress.co m/2008/11/kit-kat.jpg

now thats badass.

[killerswells]

http://mothsmokelingers.files.wordpress.co m/2008/11/kit-kat.jpg

awesome.

[AlexEnglish]

I think we have both gotten to the point were we can finally move on. I kept hanging on because I thought she was "the one." Now I realize she may or may not be that girl, but if she is, now simply isn't the time. We're both young.

I don't think that story helped at all, did it?


it did, but not in the way that i hoped.
think that ill go see her saturday and see what happens. if all goes well, maybe this whole fucking mess will be sorted out well

does anybody think asking her directly, as in saying "do you want this to end?" will get me some awnsers?

[LaDiabla]

WE WERE ON A BREAKKKKK!!!!

fsvsRZhNVp4

[uglystar03]

it did, but not in the way that i hoped.
think that ill go see her saturday and see what happens. if all goes well, maybe this whole fucking mess will be sorted out well

does anybody think asking her directly, as in saying "do you want this to end?" will get me some awnsers?

I would say no. From my experience, girls have no idea what they want. They prefer to tip-toe around something rather than be upfront and make decisions. And you gotta figure, you are 16 so I am guessing she is 16-ish. Relationships at that age usually top out at a year. So it is probably time to move on. You're still in high school, so it should still be easy to meet girls your age.

[4N6 science]

it's over, dump her!

[bigblue2015]

I think "breaks" are such a ridiculous concept. If you truly are in love with someone, you don't need to "take a break" from them. Fuck that. She's trying to tell you something else dude, I'm sorry.

[Reaver]

I think "breaks" are such a ridiculous concept. If you truly are in love with someone, you don't need to "take a break" from them. Fuck that. She's trying to tell you something else dude, I'm sorry.

I wouldn't say that. under some circumstances a break may be a good idea. good expample is my current relationship. we used to see each other really often, like always (studying the same stuff together). we had a great time together but a lot of fights as well, of course. additionally, she got some depression issues going on which made the whole situation collapse. so we decided to take a break and for later to not see each other so often. well this just happend, so I don't quite know if it'll work out.

though in your case, considering your age, I tend to say she wants to date other guys as well.

[new_arbiter]

Came into this thread hoping for a Friends clip, glad to see that it delivered.

[matt_bergeron]

ive been dating my girlfriend for 5 years...... we have been living together for 2.5 of it.... we have our fights, when we need a break form each other we just go out with our friends. you are 16, you'll find other girls. i lived in boston for about 6 months before she moved in with me, i had my fun and realized i only want to be with her. so who knows, it might work out.

[Kassie09]

Breaks are an awesome excuse to just do shit with someone else, I approve.

[samsara]

If she isnt as into you as you are into her then its a big possibility that she wont ever like you that way.

[the1]

http://mothsmokelingers.files.wordpress.co m/2008/11/kit-kat.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/25/KitKatChunky.jpg

[TheSkyline]

Some more info if it's needed...

We haven't had sex... Sorry kay, no anal
I put up with her bitchyness because I love her so much
I feel like I can't stand up to her for fear of her freaking out on me, she's nearly bipolar sometime
It's the longest relationship either of us have had ( I'm well aware of my age, so please don't comment on how I'm only so young)
She's my best friend and my girlfriend, I have extremely strong feelings about her, she always says how she thinks I'm better than her and don't deserve her and all those cute compliment things. Even still, I feel like I'm working to make this work, we go to different schools, and I always feel like I'm making more of an effort than her.

That is exactly how my last relationship went, she always told me I was too good for her too. I know how you feel. For me, it ended with her hanging out with me less and her hanging out with her douche bag ex boyfriend more. She told me things were complicated, but eventually things would work out, but then like 2 weeks later (without seeing her, which was the longest it had been since we started seeing each other) she told me she just wanted to be friends. Needless to say, I was pissed/really upset for having to wait for her to stop messing with her ex, when she just ended up going out with him again anyways..

Anyways, moral of the story is, you might just want to end it before you get even more hurt.

[yoyostring]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/25/KitKatChunky.jpg

well played sir

[fightinirish217]

Yea "break" is never a good thing in a relationship.....

[Reaver]

That is exactly how my last relationship went, she always told me I was too good for her too. I know how you feel. For me, it ended with her hanging out with me less and her hanging out with her douche bag ex boyfriend more. She told me things were complicated, but eventually things would work out, but then like 2 weeks later (without seeing her, which was the longest it had been since we started seeing each other) she told me she just wanted to be friends. Needless to say, I was pissed/really upset for having to wait for her to stop messing with her ex, when she just ended up going out with him again anyways..

Anyways, moral of the story is, you might just want to end it before you get even more hurt.

i think you're right. if she says that combined with wanting to see you less, it actually means "you're too nice/calm/normal/whatever for me, I want more action"

[AloneInTheDark]

Yea "break" is never a good thing in a relationship.....

Me and my signifigant other took a break, and it did wonders for our relationship. But you need to determine if it's a break where you see other people, have sexual relations with other people, or you're simply taking time to figure things out. I agree with her saying she needs time to miss you, sometimes you don't understand what you have until you've been away from it for a while.

[the1]

well played sir

Kit Kat Chunkys are pretty much why life was invented.

[Five-Star]

never seen one of those before.

*goes to store*

[RecklessXRandy]

Then try anal

[newtothis]

A break isn't always a horrible thing. I was dating this guy. We'd been pretty much best friends for a really long time. However, leading up to our relationship, there had been a lot of drama. And even though we'd "talked" about it, a series of events (including the racist tendencies of my parents) led to us taking a six month break. During this break, we agreed that we would still talk. A lot. About the things that were really important. The thing is,in the beginning, we didn't think this would help our relationship at all, but it has done so much for us. Now that we had time to not always be around each other, we've worked up the courage to talk about all the things that were hindering our relationship in the first place. sometimes, it is possible to be spending so much time with someone that it is impossible to step back and genuinely miss them. That is just for all of you who say breaks are always bad. Our relationship is so much healthier b/c of it.

[Reaver]

A break isn't always a horrible thing. I was dating this guy. We'd been pretty much best friends for a really long time. However, leading up to our relationship, there had been a lot of drama. And even though we'd "talked" about it, a series of events (including the racist tendencies of my parents) led to us taking a six month break. During this break, we agreed that we would still talk. A lot. About the things that were really important. The thing is,in the beginning, we didn't think this would help our relationship at all, but it has done so much for us. Now that we had time to not always be around each other, we've worked up the courage to talk about all the things that were hindering our relationship in the first place. sometimes, it is possible to be spending so much time with someone that it is impossible to step back and genuinely miss them. That is just for all of you who say breaks are always bad. Our relationship is so much healthier b/c of it.

thanks, I'm experiencing a similar thing atm and it's good to know that it worked out for you already.

[newtothis]

thanks, I'm experiencing a similar thing atm and it's good to know that it worked out for you already.

no problem. I'm mean, don't get me wrong, it was and has been hard, but we are both so thankful that we have had the chance to do this. It has, to this point, been completely worth it.

[thespearkid]

A break isn't always a horrible thing. I was dating this guy. We'd been pretty much best friends for a really long time. However, leading up to our relationship, there had been a lot of drama. And even though we'd "talked" about it, a series of events (including the racist tendencies of my parents) led to us taking a six month break. During this break, we agreed that we would still talk. A lot. About the things that were really important. The thing is,in the beginning, we didn't think this would help our relationship at all, but it has done so much for us. Now that we had time to not always be around each other, we've worked up the courage to talk about all the things that were hindering our relationship in the first place. sometimes, it is possible to be spending so much time with someone that it is impossible to step back and genuinely miss them. That is just for all of you who say breaks are always bad. Our relationship is so much healthier b/c of it.
This.

I thought you said you were going to stay out of PL. haha.

[AndrewIcex]

Sir, just tell her what's up... make sure you know her intentions. Don't let her tip toe around the real issue, and if that issue is some guy she met at work or another school, or some other shit... just end it, she might come running back for you.

[AlexEnglish]

while at band practice (a pretty fucking inconvienet time to get a call from your estranged girlfriend i might add) she calls me wanting to talk, and im kinda thrown off by that considering she says she needs a few days. after talking for about half an hour i find that shes ditching me for her friend tomorrow. that really helped.
after hanging up, she texts me shes just not feeling me lately and just needs a few days to think. she says its because we talked for 8 1/2 months, every day, for at least 2 hours a day, and she just needs some time because everything ive been doing has been pissing her off even if its not something to get mad at. i dont respond to this
half an hour later, another text. saying "call me when you get the chance, i need to tell tell you something important". so i do, shes starts saying how much she loves me, and all that sweet stuff. she made this whole card and painting (she's gotten scholorships to risd for future years in school) that shes eventually going to show to me. so we keep going back and forth, being on a break and then being together. currently were together and im pretty sure all this break bullshit is pretty much over. advice on what to do next?

[Reaver]

and you really want to let her push you around as she pleases? respect should be natural in a relationship. but that's just what I get out of your posts. you gotta decide for yourself ...

[cauterize_this]

I say that when you talk to her, say "maybe a break is a good idea". If she goes with it, then she wants it and you guys are over. But if she still wants to be with you, when she feels that you're going to leave her, she'll cling and realize that she still wants to date. But hey, if she does breakup with you.. rebound!

[Reaver]

I say that when you talk to her, say "maybe a break is a good idea". If she goes with it, then she wants it and you guys are over. But if she still wants to be with you, when she feels that you're going to leave her, she'll cling and realize that she still wants to date. But hey, if she does breakup with you.. rebound!

interesting idea, but i've experienced that some girls get this wrong and think you want to break up. just wanted to say that this may shoot in the wrong direction.

[AndrewIcex]

But sometimes you have to take that risk to get the girl back.

[AlexEnglish]

I say that when you talk to her, say "maybe a break is a good idea". If she goes with it, then she wants it and you guys are over. But if she still wants to be with you, when she feels that you're going to leave her, she'll cling and realize that she still wants to date. But hey, if she does breakup with you.. rebound!

weve kind of decided that it is a good idea, were still talking and stuff, were just talking less and still maintaining our relationship.
im liking this whole thing know, i used to think that i would be nothing without her and i couldnt stand on my own without her, but i havent had the urge to call or contact her all day, which is probably a good thing.

it sucks that i had to go through a few "i fucking hate you's" to get to this resoloution. lol.

[newtothis]

weve kind of decided that it is a good idea, were still talking and stuff, were just talking less and still maintaining our relationship.
im liking this whole thing know, i used to think that i would be nothing without her and i couldnt stand on my own without her, but i havent had the urge to call or contact her all day, which is probably a good thing.

it sucks that i had to go through a few "i fucking hate you's" to get to this resoloution. lol.

Now that you have established this, you really need to establish the boundaries and expectations. Are you allowed to see other people? When does a break become a break up? Or do you intend on getting back together? etc. I know this may seem like you are beating a dead horse, but honestly, if you don't talk about these things, they'll come back to hurt you later.

[deathinkosovo]

That is exactly how my last relationship went, she always told me I was too good for her too. I know how you feel. For me, it ended with her hanging out with me less and her hanging out with her douche bag ex boyfriend more. She told me things were complicated, but eventually things would work out, but then like 2 weeks later (without seeing her, which was the longest it had been since we started seeing each other) she told me she just wanted to be friends. Needless to say, I was pissed/really upset for having to wait for her to stop messing with her ex, when she just ended up going out with him again anyways..

Anyways, moral of the story is, you might just want to end it before you get even more hurt.

True this. Any time a girl says "you're too good for me" or "you deserve someone better than me," it's bullshit, plain and simple. I heard this trip from a girl or two in my time, and it's absolutely ridiculous. If I could find somebody better, I would, dumbass.

Girls also tend to linger in a relationship months longer than they want, mostly to "be nice." I was in a five-month relationship for almost seven months. The last two months were just fight after fight, meaningless sex and phone calls that lasted three hours too long. Worthless.

[Hamlet]

Girls also tend to linger in a relationship months longer than they want, mostly to "be nice."

This.

They don't want to feel guilty about rejecting you, so they pretend that everything is okay.

This runs the risk of the guy thinking that there's still interest. Don't fall into this trap. When it's over, it's over.

[scmaley]

I think that a girl who will tell you that you're too good for her (if she actually means it) has real issues that are bigger than just your relationship. If she feels inadequate and rejects you when you've made it clear that you have feelings for her, you should probably just move on.

[newtothis]

I think that a girl who will tell you that you're too good for her (if she actually means it) has real issues that are bigger than just your relationship. If she feels inadequate and rejects you when you've made it clear that you have feelings for her, you should probably just move on.

I agree that this probably means the girl feels inadequate. I've been there myself. Luckily for me, I got a guy who has been so patient with me and has worked with me to build me up. But we were already really good friends. Most relationships will fail if one of the people feels unworthy and they haven't known each other very well or long.

[AlexEnglish]

this relationship almost got 100000x worse, due to fucking shitty rhode island public transportation and dunkin donuts.

i dont even know how i got myself out of this one

[AndrewIcex]

Huh? Details?

[AlexEnglish]

she tells me friday night shes hanging with her friend on saturday. dissapointed, i tell my friends that ill be able to go to the show tomorrow (nothing big, just a local band's ep release show). On saturday, at about 3:30, she tells me to be at her house at 5:00. she ends up yelling at me and i end up going. my sister refuses to drive through beach traffic, (its a 20 min drive to her house) so i take the hour long bus trip (4:00-5:00) and my phone dies because its fucking retarted, when i left it had full battery. i end up walking 5 miles from the east greenwich park and ride to her house, this takes me another hour. its about 6 now, and i am greeted by the cold shoulder for a good hour and a half until she finally warms up and starts acting like shes my girlfriend again. by the end of the night, we were back to being good, but damn. that girl sure knows how to make you feel like shit one minute and the luckiest guy the next.

[Reaver]

she tells me friday night shes hanging with her friend on saturday. dissapointed, i tell my friends that ill be able to go to the show tomorrow (nothing big, just a local band's ep release show). On saturday, at about 3:30, she tells me to be at her house at 5:00. she ends up yelling at me and i end up going. my sister refuses to drive through beach traffic, (its a 20 min drive to her house) so i take the hour long bus trip (4:00-5:00) and my phone dies because its fucking retarted, when i left it had full battery. i end up walking 5 miles from the east greenwich park and ride to her house, this takes me another hour. its about 6 now, and i am greeted by the cold shoulder for a good hour and a half until she finally warms up and starts acting like shes my girlfriend again. by the end of the night, we were back to being good, but damn. that girl sure knows how to make you feel like shit one minute and the luckiest guy the next.

that reminds me of all those nasty anime scences. like in one piece where that cook idiot does everything for that bitchy girl.

I'd rather leave her for good than letting her destroy all of my pride.

another possibility would be to abuse her, like fuck her a bunch of times and then drop her.

[thespearkid]

she tells me friday night shes hanging with her friend on saturday. dissapointed, i tell my friends that ill be able to go to the show tomorrow (nothing big, just a local band's ep release show). On saturday, at about 3:30, she tells me to be at her house at 5:00. she ends up yelling at me and i end up going. my sister refuses to drive through beach traffic, (its a 20 min drive to her house) so i take the hour long bus trip (4:00-5:00) and my phone dies because its fucking retarted, when i left it had full battery. i end up walking 5 miles from the east greenwich park and ride to her house, this takes me another hour. its about 6 now, and i am greeted by the cold shoulder for a good hour and a half until she finally warms up and starts acting like shes my girlfriend again. by the end of the night, we were back to being good, but damn. that girl sure knows how to make you feel like shit one minute and the luckiest guy the next.
Whoa. You should definitely talk to her. She doesn't have a right to switch her plans around all willy nilly and expect you to keep up with them, especially if she's giving you the cold shoulder sometimes. Make her understand that a relationship is a partnership and, although you need to be patient, there are things she's expected to do as well (be courteous, be loving, etc.). If only one party is working to make sure a relationship stays on track, the thing will never last.

[mattmatumbo]

This is just strange.

[newtothis]

she tells me friday night shes hanging with her friend on saturday. dissapointed, i tell my friends that ill be able to go to the show tomorrow (nothing big, just a local band's ep release show). On saturday, at about 3:30, she tells me to be at her house at 5:00. she ends up yelling at me and i end up going. my sister refuses to drive through beach traffic, (its a 20 min drive to her house) so i take the hour long bus trip (4:00-5:00) and my phone dies because its fucking retarted, when i left it had full battery. i end up walking 5 miles from the east greenwich park and ride to her house, this takes me another hour. its about 6 now, and i am greeted by the cold shoulder for a good hour and a half until she finally warms up and starts acting like shes my girlfriend again. by the end of the night, we were back to being good, but damn. that girl sure knows how to make you feel like shit one minute and the luckiest guy the next.

This is just silly. You need to be her boyfriend. Not her slave or her court jester. Just because she changed her plans suddenly doesn't mean that you have to as well.

[hamish.]

Dump her.

[Bitterserenade]

Break up with her and find someone that will blow you every night.

[AlexEnglish]

Break up with her and find someone that will blow you every night.


thanks for that