Mister Prozac *includes link to song

[beau blood rush]

we wrote this over 6 months ago now but its finally recorded mastered & up.
releasing the rest of the EP on june 20th
so i'm really excited about it - just wanted to kinda share that with you's
hope your all taking care.
x.

http://www.myspace.com/forourhero

If I’m #home #suite or #honeymoon in a glass room
My jealousy threw stones to it
I press my head against a star
To light up my thoughts or wish upon

I’m slipping through my village green blues

All alpha’holic’s to A.m. anonymous
& “kiss, kiss my good name goodbyes”
Tired out theriac eyes
So they call me Mr. Prozac

Whoa oh,
Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh

Step two’s
Somewhat a doozy
When i’m one foot in the gurney
& your one foot in my head
Steppin’ all over me
All over again &
No-no-nostalgia’s hell on the exit to your window ledge
But if i say so myself
Loneliness don’t get much better than this

I’m slipping through my village green blues

All alpha’holic’s to A.m. anonymous
& “kiss, kiss my good name goodbyes”
Tired out theriac eyes
So they call me Mr. Prozac

Whoa oh,
Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh
Whoa oh,
Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh

All alpha’holic’s to A.m. anonymous
& “kiss, kiss my good name goodbyes”
Tired out theriac eyes
So they call me Mr. Prozac

All alpha’holic’s to A.m. anonymous
& “kiss, kiss my good name goodbyes”
Tired out theriac eyes
So they call me Mr. Prozac

Whoa oh,
Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh
Whoa oh,
Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh

[beau blood rush]

bump.

[The Personist]

This doesn't really make much sense...It feels like an attempt to be Pete Wentz, who is a far cry from a good writer. You're trying to dress up cliches like throwing stones at glass houses or wishing upon a star by obfuscating them with language, which doesn't really work because they're still cliches, no matter how you say them.

[livingalive626]

honestly....
sounds freakin good.

[beau blood rush]

thanks a lot man.
and artfullyaborted
thank you for your opinion
I don't agree that the two most cliche statements in the song (glass room & star)
are really cliche to the point that using them ruins it.
this song has a very clear cut meaning to me & i wrote every line with intent
& i hoped making a word like "theriac" and the concept of the chorus
work in a pop song would make up for any cliche's.

& as for the correlation with PW, the only trait i feel that i share with him
is the use of dressing up well known idioms & phrases.
i guess that works for some people and doesn't for others.

A quick look at your wordpress tells me saying this is a complete waste of time.

Actually on that note,
I think the problem with making remarks about peoples writing is not that they can't take criticism
It's that the remarks NEVER come across as just opinions
just look at the language you've used here:
"because they're still cliches, no matter how you say them."

you'll notice that people who criticize peoples writing never use language like "i think" & "in my opinion"
which obviously causes others to get defensive 'cos you've given them no room to breathe.
which is why i don't post stuff i'm working on anymore & only post to promote the songs which i finish.
That's just my little opinion on your essay, I think you'll find its quite relevant.

xx.

[thespearkid]

thanks a lot man.
and artfullyaborted
thank you for your opinion
I don't agree that the two most cliche statements in the song (glass room & star)
are really cliche to the point that using them ruins it.
this song has a very clear cut meaning to me & i wrote every line with intent
& i hoped making a word like "theriac" and the concept of the chorus
work in a pop song would make up for any cliche's.

& as for the correlation with PW, the only trait i feel that i share with him
is the use of dressing up well known idioms & phrases.
i guess that works for some people and doesn't for others.

A quick look at your wordpress tells me saying this is a complete waste of time.

Actually on that note,
I think the problem with making remarks about peoples writing is not that they can't take criticism
It's that the remarks NEVER come across as just opinions
just look at the language you've used here:
"because they're still cliches, no matter how you say them."

you'll notice that people who criticize peoples writing never use language like "i think" & "in my opinion"
which obviously causes others to get defensive 'cos you've given them no room to breathe.
which is why i don't post stuff i'm working on anymore & only post to promote the songs which i finish.
That's just my little opinion on your essay, I think you'll find its quite relevant.

xx.
If you're going to post an essay every time someone doesn't like your work, you're going to spend a lot of time typing. I don't understand what you people don't get about this forum; it is for feedback. If you post work, you run the risk of someone not liking it and telling you exactly why they don't. If your issue with David is that he didn't use the phrase "in my opinion" then let me help you out; everything anyone says on this website is, for the most part, opinion. However, there are objective standards lyrics and poetry are judged upon. If there weren't, every English major in the world would be wasting their time. Just to let you know, the majority of the regulars here are English majors so we know good work when we see it and we know mediocrity. As for your lyrics, they do rely heavily on some very played out cliches. Whether or not that ruins the piece is up to your listeners, who are, no doubt, going to love this because it's simple and straight forward. However, simple and straight-forward will not impress everyone and that is something you have to deal with.

In conclusion, stop posting if you're going to bitch every time someone doesn't like your lyrics.

[The Personist]

If you're going to post an essay every time someone doesn't like your work, you're going to spend a lot of time typing. I don't understand what you people don't get about this forum; it is for feedback. If you post work, you run the risk of someone not liking it and telling you exactly why they don't. If your issue with David is that he didn't use the phrase "in my opinion" then let me help you out; everything anyone says on this website is, for the most part, opinion. However, there are objective standards lyrics and poetry are judged upon. If there weren't, every English major in the world would be wasting their time. Just to let you know, the majority of the regulars here are English majors so we know good work when we see it and we know mediocrity. As for your lyrics, they do rely heavily on some very played out cliches. Whether or not that ruins the piece is up to your listeners, who are, no doubt, going to love this because it's simple and straight forward. However, simple and straight-forward will not impress everyone and that is something you have to deal with.

In conclusion, stop posting if you're going to bitch every time someone doesn't like your lyrics.

<3

[beau blood rush]

you just did the exact same thing.

[fishingthe_sky]

& as for the correlation with PW, the only trait i feel that i share with him
is the use of dressing up well known idioms & phrases.
i guess that works for some people and doesn't for others.

Actually on that note,
I think the problem with making remarks about peoples writing is not that they can't take criticism
It's that the remarks NEVER come across as just opinions
just look at the language you've used here:
"because they're still cliches, no matter how you say them."

"Well known idioms and phrases" is really just a nice way of saying cliches, to be completely honest. As far as making criticisms go, by your own statement it then should be understood that every criticism is just an opinion, if we're getting down to technicalities. But it's pretty silly to say that every criticism should be qualified with a "in my opinion." First, when a piece of criticism is likely to be shared by a majority of people, it moves out of the realm of opinion and more into the realm of fact. Not an absolute fact, but close to it. Second, a decent critic will qualify the places where he/she knows their opinion is one that will probably be unique to them.

I'm not trying to come in here to gang up on you or anything like that. These were just a couple of things that stood out to me.

To think about it a little more, the whole Mr. Prozac thing is very very similar to the Mr. Benzedrine of Fall Out Boy's "20 Dollar Nose Bleed."

[thespearkid]

you just did the exact same thing.
Sorry. In my opinion, stop posting.

[The Personist]

"Well known idioms and phrases" is really just a nice way of saying cliches, to be completely honest. As far as making criticisms go, by your own statement it then should be understood that every criticism is just an opinion, if we're getting down to technicalities. But it's pretty silly to say that every criticism should be qualified with a "in my opinion." First, when a piece of criticism is likely to be shared by a majority of people, it moves out of the realm of opinion and more into the realm of fact. Not an absolute fact, but close to it. Second, a decent critic will qualify the places where he/she knows their opinion is one that will probably be unique to them.

I'm not trying to come in here to gang up on you or anything like that. These were just a couple of things that stood out to me.

To think about it a little more, the whole Mr. Prozac thing is very very similar to the Mr. Benzedrine of Fall Out Boy's "20 Dollar Nose Bleed."


The bolded is exactly what I thought looking at the name of this post.

[beau blood rush]

"Well known idioms and phrases" is really just a nice way of saying cliches, to be completely honest. As far as making criticisms go, by your own statement it then should be understood that every criticism is just an opinion, if we're getting down to technicalities. But it's pretty silly to say that every criticism should be qualified with a "in my opinion." First, when a piece of criticism is likely to be shared by a majority of people, it moves out of the realm of opinion and more into the realm of fact. Not an absolute fact, but close to it. Second, a decent critic will qualify the places where he/she knows their opinion is one that will probably be unique to them.

I'm not trying to come in here to gang up on you or anything like that. These were just a couple of things that stood out to me.

To think about it a little more, the whole Mr. Prozac thing is very very similar to the Mr. Benzedrine of Fall Out Boy's "20 Dollar Nose Bleed."


it's cool man, i just don't like being told I write cliche lyrics by people who write lyrics like
"these feelings i'm feeling"
to songs like these: http://www.myspace.com/trafficjamparades

for a pop song you can not say the chorus is cliche in any way, i don't know how you could.

as for the mister benzendrine thing i actually wrote this well before that song came out
i got proof & everything luckily 'cos people are always going to draw that correlation

[The Personist]

it's cool man, i just don't like being told I write cliche lyrics by people who write lyrics like
"these feelings i'm feeling"
to songs like these: http://www.myspace.com/trafficjamparades

for a pop song you can not say the chorus is cliche in any way, i don't know how you could.

as for the mister benzendrine thing i actually wrote this well before that song came out
i got proof & everything luckily 'cos people are always going to draw that correlation

Have you read anything he's written recently? It's much improved. That's just one big ole straw man you're using to try and deflect things.

[thespearkid]

it's cool man, i just don't like being told I write cliche lyrics by people who write lyrics like
"these feelings i'm feeling"
to songs like these: http://www.myspace.com/trafficjamparades

for a pop song you can not say the chorus is cliche in any way, i don't know how you could.

as for the mister benzendrine thing i actually wrote this well before that song came out
i got proof & everything luckily 'cos people are always going to draw that correlation
Good job. That song I wrote a year ago is total proof of my absolute ineptitude as a writer.

[beau blood rush]

I wrote this seven months ago, I'm not pulling that card..

I'm just saying it's a little hypocritical.
I'll leave that up for other people to decide though
'cos i'm going to throw in the towel now, i've said my part.
I'm sure you're all great guys in real life,
just a little to pretentious for your own good on here.
in my opinion.

[The Personist]

We're not pretentious. We can back our shit up.

[thespearkid]

You know, just because someone doesn't like your stuff, doesn't mean they're pretentious.

[beau blood rush]

no,
but someone who writes songs like yours
& thinks they're good enough to be critical of other peoples in any way, is.

[The Personist]

no,
but someone who writes songs like yours
& thinks they're good enough to be critical of other peoples in any way, is.

But he isn't arguing that the song you chose is representative of his work NOW.

His work now blows yours out of the water.

[beau blood rush]

just earlier someone argued when the majority agree with one opinion it's closer to fact.
so i don't think you want to go down that road.
I appreciate that you two are good friends but I really don't agree with you so let's just end it now
& we'll talk when i post the next song.

[newtothis]

no,
but someone who writes songs like yours
& thinks they're good enough to be critical of other peoples in any way, is.

Dude, aren't you missing the point? This is your thread. About YOUR song. So, don't waste everyone's time arguing about whether or not someone else's work is up to your standards. If you don't like David's and Dion's opinions, ignore them and move on. You are arguing that someone who writes "bad" lyrics has no right to go around criticizing other people's "good" lyrics. Well aren't you doing the same thing? You're taking a song he wrote a year ago, that he admits is bad, flaunting it, and trying to make your own look better. I hate to break it to you, but you are no Elliott Smith or Jeff Mangum yourself. Your lyrics are not that good, so, according to your own logic, you have no right to be criticizing anyone else at all.

Ok, I'm done.

[thespearkid]

But he isn't arguing that the song you chose is representative of his work NOW.

His work now blows yours out of the water.
I orange you.

Dude, aren't you missing the point? This is your thread. About YOUR song. So, don't waste everyone's time arguing about whether or not someone else's work is up to your standards. If you don't like David's and Dion's opinions, ignore them and move on. You are arguing that someone who writes "bad" lyrics has no right to go around criticizing other people's "good" lyrics. Well aren't you doing the same thing? You're taking a song he wrote a year ago, that he admits is bad, flaunting it, and trying to make your own look better. I hate to break it to you, but you are no Elliott Smith or Jeff Mangum yourself. Your lyrics are not that good, so, according to your own logic, you have no right to be criticizing anyone else at all.

Ok, I'm done.
I love you.

[TheSkyline]

just earlier someone argued when the majority agree with one opinion it's closer to fact.
so i don't think you want to go down that road.
I appreciate that you two are good friends but I really don't agree with you so let's just end it now
& we'll talk when i post the next song.

Man, you really have to learn how to take some criticism, no one was trying to be mean to you, so man up and apply the advice people are giving to you to your lyrics. I listened to the song, and I actually liked it, however, the lyrics are very cliche, whether or not you want to admit it. Actually almost all of it is one big cliche or play on words. I'm not trying to bash you or anything, I just think you should experiment with different writing styles. Start maybe by writing the song with no cliches or play on words, just what the song is about, like very straight forward. Then try inserting unique metaphors that aren't commonly used, and creative imagery to express what your trying to say. Hopefully that helps you out a little.

I have to agree with the lyrics being very Pete Wentz-ish though, but not really in a good way. haha

[OveriseFan]

I just want to address the issue of: "You didn't say 'In my opinion' so you're trying to pass off your opinion as fact".

Obviously, any criticism is going to be opinion. If you've ever read a critical essay of any kind, you understand that in "real" criticism, you don't say "In my opinion" or "I think that" because it's understood. Everyone knows they're reading criticism, and so they understand that it's opinion.

Just hope this helps you and others understand the forum better.

The song itself is good and catchy, and I think the lyrics actually make for a pretty good pop song. However, in terms of actual lyrical value (and by this, I mean, ignoring the fact that it's a pop song) I agree with all the comments that have been made.

Your band has a good thing going though... Nice harmonies (although I believe they're all done by the lead singer?), good guitar playing, solid rhythm section. If you guys have a good, tight live show, you could go places. But you need to accept criticism. It doesn't help you any to get bent out of shape about it - just accept it. Take the advice if you think it's relevant, ignore it if you think it isn't. Just thank people for listening/reading even if they don't like it. It will help you get further in life - not just music - but any career path you choose.

[bigjo91]

well.... as someone who listens to a shit load of music, and no poetic training in any way, i quite adore this song <3

[Mike Smith]

No offense beau, but your band sounds like a total Fall Out Boy ripoff.

And this song to be quite honest is obviously cliche, and obviously either an imitation of that FOB song, or your bad attempt at creating a piece of art. Either way, that song has no good meanings in it, it is highly cliché, The lead singer sounds pretty bad, no offense. But maybe it would be better to just stop writing if all your songs are like this.

Unfortunately this song just sounded like every other pop rock band out there trying to be the "next big thing" by writing a sub-par song in hopes someone will sign them.

When you get better at writing, please do post stuff, but until then keep stuff like this off the forum. Especially if you're going to ARGUE with what the critics(including myself) have to say.

[livingalive626]

lol quite frankly man (beau), i don't see a point in posting your lyrics in this forum. i think they're good, and if you do, and if you get people to come to your shows and buy your music, who gives a damn what people on here think ya know?

[The Personist]

lol quite frankly man (beau), i don't see a point in posting your lyrics in this forum. i think they're good, and if you do, and if you get people to come to your shows and buy your music, who gives a damn what people on here think ya know?

Thank you for bumping a pointless thread and feeding a massive ego. We all very much appreciate it.

[livingalive626]

Thank you for bumping a pointless thread and feeding a massive ego. We all very much appreciate it.

no problem, i had nothing better to do at the time :)

[Metal Now]

Call me, Mr. Benzedrine.

[mrs.diviney]

Hey Beau,
I discovered your band about a month ago through my fave band, short stack. And I really love your music.
Don't listen to critics, not everyone is going to like everything that you guys do, just ignore them. xx

[OveriseFan]

Hey Beau,
I discovered your band about a month ago through my fave band, short stack. And I really love your music.
Don't listen to critics, not everyone is going to like everything that you guys do, just ignore them. xx

See this:

Thank you for bumping a pointless thread and feeding a massive ego. We all very much appreciate it.

[livingalive626]

See this:

see this? : :efu:

[The Personist]

Oh, will you gtfo

[livingalive626]

haha

[thespearkid]

the matches broke up yesterday while people jock this asshole's band. fuck the scene.

[The Personist]

But All Time Low are the kings of pop punk. Go figure.

[thespearkid]

they sold 66,000.

[mrs.diviney]

people can listen to the music that they like. And I like ForOurHero, and I like their songs. If you don't like his music, then get stuffed you've already written you opinion.

[The Personist]

people can listen to the music that they like. And I like ForOurHero, and I like their songs. If you don't like his music, then get stuffed you've already written you opinion.

You're right, I am an opinion.

But it's more than just liking the music you like. Taste is subjective, but there are certain objective standards to which art should be held, regardless of what kind of art it is. If pop music can't meet those standards, it's not my fault; it's theirs. This is shameless, image-conscious pop music, and if you think all that any discussion of art comes down to is "I like what I like," then you are so woefully misinformed that you may as well pretend Millie Vanillie actually sang their own vocals and listen to that. This is just crap. Stop bumping this thread and stop jerking this guy off.

[OveriseFan]

You're right, I am an opinion.

But it's more than just liking the music you like. Taste is subjective, but there are certain objective standards to which art should be held, regardless of what kind of art it is. If pop music can't meet those standards, it's not my fault; it's theirs. This is shameless, image-conscious pop music, and if you think all that any discussion of art comes down to is "I like what I like," then you are so woefully misinformed that you may as well pretend Millie Vanillie actually sang their own vocals and listen to that. This is just crap. Stop bumping this thread and stop jerking this guy off.

That's going to go over his head. Hahahaha.

[thespearkid]

You're right, I am an opinion.

:D