A Swift Taste of Entropy

[The Agent]

You know how in the desert, the best sunsets are the ones that happen when the sun is at a fifteen-degree angle, but because the light is hitting the opposite face of a mountain off in the distance, its scattered and everything -- not just the clouds and the ground, but the air -- glows a radiant red? The dust, the intermittent spells of warmth and chill, the shower of light... it inspires a uniquely ineffable and surreal feeling in me. I think things that, once I am jerked by nature's elastic back to consciousness, don't make any sense, the same way dreams slip through your fingers evanescently. It causes me to reflect upon the categorical view of reality that Plato sets forth in his Theory of Forms, and how his system is simply the product of Kantian categories of human understanding. Steinbeck wrote of the phalanx... I reflected on his conception of the universe with a short poem, talking about my brief submersion in the Cosmic Organism, transcending ego.

At this crimson hour, it seems
The sky is melting,
The atmosphere saturated with
A deep orange in dry heat...

Illucid beams lull me, soft.
The Narcoleptic's dream
Is full of rich light
But absolved of forms.

I inhale warm dust
like arid cotton balls, rash.
Living, sleeping in this dream
Makes me wish I were real...

[theMATEOlife]

what?

[The Agent]

The last twelve lines are a poem. :)

[theMATEOlife]

what the hell is the first half?

[The Agent]

An explination of the poem. It would be esoteric as hell without one. I don't write poetry just to make it pretty, y'know. If you don't like the meaning behind it though, I hope you think it's pretty anyways, though.

[theMATEOlife]

the poem isn't bad.

the explanation is ridiculous, and the cosmic organism allusion is such bullshit.

no offense.

[OveriseFan]

Well children, today we'll have a lesson in "Showing off your vocabulary"

Sometimes it works. (See : Edgar Allen Poe?)

Sometimes it doesn't (See : You)

That concludes todays lesson.

(And that explanation was fucking stupid, trying to sound all artsy, but failing)

[The Agent]

None taken. It doesn't irk me that you've blocked out all of eastern philosphy and a great portion of western philosophy without warrent. That's your deal. I really, really appreciate your honesty, though.

[OveriseFan]

"Living, sleeping in this dream
Makes me wish I were real..."

Work with that line. It's typical cliches as it is, but it was by far the best line in the poem. If you build off simplicty like that, ATTEMPT to make it original(I know it's hard) and use simpler words, it'll turn out much better. You've got ideas. You've got the talent. But NORMAL people don't give 2 shits about what you said here.

[The Agent]

Well children, today we'll have a lesson in "Showing off your vocabulary"

Sometimes it works. (See : Edgar Allen Poe?)

Sometimes it doesn't (See : You)

That concludes todays lesson.

(And that explanation was fucking stupid, trying to sound all artsy, but failing)I wasn't. That's how I talk.

[OveriseFan]

None taken. It doesn't irk me that you've blocked out all of eastern philosphy and a great portion of western philosophy without warrent. That's your deal. I really, really appreciate your honesty, though.

To quote Paramore(not very good lyrics, but I feel they suit the situation.)

"And here we go again
With all the things we said
And not a minute spent
To think that we'd regret
So we just take it back,
These words and hold our breath
Forget the things we swore we meant"

Come to think of it, those are pretty good... and catchy, not to mention, you(The poster) need to think about what these are saying here, and apply them to you.

[OveriseFan]

I wasn't. That's how I talk.

Your friends must love it.

[The Agent]

"Living, sleeping in this dream
Makes me wish I were real..."

Work with that line. It's typical cliches as it is, but it was by far the best line in the poem. If you build off simplicty like that, ATTEMPT to make it original(I know it's hard) and use simpler words, it'll turn out much better. You've got ideas. You've got the talent. But NORMAL people don't give 2 shits about what you said here.Okay, this is useful. I agree too, at least with most of it. I can't tell you how many times I changed those two lines. Um...
'My potent, etheral being,
Strives for identity.'
Eh... I'll work on it.
I don't care if others don't give a shit about it, though. I don't write for them: I write for myself ;)

[The Agent]

Your friends must love it.Friends?

[OveriseFan]

Okay, this is useful. I agree too, at least with most of it. I can't tell you how many times I changed those two lines. Um...
'My potent, etheral being,
Strives for identity.'
Eh... I'll work on it.
I don't care if others don't give a shit about it, though. I don't write for them: I write for myself ;)

and now I have respect for you.

haha

I hate people who write like this cause they usually just try and impress people with big words and "artsy" outlooks at life.

[OveriseFan]

Friends?

:shake:

[The Agent]

I completely agree. Especially when it's just to impress... random people on a forum.

EDIT: I was joking about the friends thing...