Really need advice... my best friend's bf cheats on her :-'(

[takemyhand]

Hi guys.

So my best friend, who I love and have been friends with since 6th grade, who is the sweetest cutest girl ever; has an asshole boyfriend. They're been dating for almost 3 years, and she's blind to the fact he's cheating on her. They live a few cities apart -no biggie. He sleeps over her house every weekend during the school year, and I'm sure during breaks/summers they hangout very often.

She drives him around, and is faithful to him, and loves him.

She could get a much, much better guy.


Well anyway, I always suspected he was a little unfaithful because of pictures that were going around on Facebook of him with his arms around some other girl, a few months ago. But he confessed to her that he just made out with the girl -and since they were on a "break" she was ok with it because he swore he would never cheat on her.

Well today I was at a party watching the Red Wings lose.. :-(

haha. And one of my good guy friends says that he's SEEN him cheat on my best friend with other girls.
All of the time, lots of girls.




So... do I tell her?
What do I tell her?

&also I don't want to get my guy friend in trouble with my friend's boyfriend (my guy friend and her boyfriend are pretty good friends).


I don't want to break her heart, but she's dating a total loser.


:-/

[takemyhand]

Damn.

[wewascontenders]

you fuck him and tape it, then show her.

[bjm1702]

tell her now, get it off your chest

[takemyhand]

you fuck him and tape it, then show her.

Nah, he's no attractive to me.
& I have a boyfriend.

Good advice though.. haha.

Seriously I need something realistic.

[takemyhand]

tell her now, get it off your chest

They're been together for three years, how do I lay something like that down on her?
Shit.

[UntilItKillsYou]

You need proof or she will go into denial hard. She might blame you or something. The first thing you need to do is get real evidence

[AlkalineAshes]

I think you should stay out of it. People get really into denial when they think they are in love.. You have nothing to gain.

[whataclush]

They're been together for three years, how do I lay something like that down on her?
Shit.

if you had a huge black smear of paint on your face, right before a live performance on national television, which you didnt notice you had...wouldnt you want someone to tell you right before performing, to avoid the hell and eternal emberrassment you would later endure? ...sorry, im trying to find a good analogy...tell her as soon as possible, because the longer you wait, the more painful the fact will hit her.

[Duexy]

not your problem.

[takemyhand]

You need proof or she will go into denial hard. She might blame you or something. The first thing you need to do is get real evidence

Like I said, there are pictures on Facebook.
& my friend saw him cheating on her multiple times.
What more evidence is needed, do I really need to tape it? hahaha.

[takemyhand]

I think you should stay out of it. People get really into denial when they think they are in love.. You have nothing to gain.

I guess.
I mean she's my best friend, it's hard watching her be oblivious to the fact he's cheating on her.
I know if my boyfriend was cheating on me I'd want her to tell me.

[takemyhand]

if you had a huge black smear of paint on your face, right before a live performance on national television, which you didnt notice you had...wouldnt you want someone to tell you right before performing, to avoid the hell and eternal emberrassment you would later endure? ...sorry, im trying to find a good analogy...tell her as soon as possible, because the longer you wait, the more painful the fact will hit her.

Yeah, I understand.
How do I tell her though?

[takemyhand]

not your problem.

I feel like I'd be a total bitch/asshole friend to not tell her.

[UntilItKillsYou]

Like I said, there are pictures on Facebook.
& my friend saw him cheating on her multiple times.
What more evidence is needed, do I really need to tape it? hahaha.

a picture of the act would be nice

maybe a pic of his car at girl in questions house at 4am

[TeamAllison]

Write a screenplay about it, and make lame, obvious attempts to change their names. Like if the dude's name is Bryan, just call him Ryan. Pitch it to Warner Brothers, they're bound to pick that shit up. And when the story of his infidelity flashes across screens throughout the entire nation...she'll know. She'll know.

[AlkalineAshes]

I feel like I'd be a total bitch/asshole friend to not tell her.
ya ya we know but if you tell your friend she will never look at you the same because it was you that brought the emotions of the end of her relationship you know, not a smart thing to get yourself into.

[takemyhand]

a picture of the act would be nice

maybe a pic of his car at girl in questions house at 4am

He does it at parties & he doesn't have a car.


And I'm not going to stalk him, haha.

[UntilItKillsYou]

Write a screenplay about it, and make lame, obvious attempts to change their names. Like if the dude's name is Bryan, just call him Ryan. Pitch it to Warner Brothers, they're bound to pick that shit up. And when the story of his infidelity flashes across screens throughout the entire nation...she'll know. She'll know.

:appl:

[UntilItKillsYou]

He does it at parties & he doesn't have a car.


And I'm not going to stalk him, haha.

proof is important

sworn testimonies

get a fucking bible if you have to

[bung]

Yeah, I understand.
How do I tell her though?

Text message.

Interesting fact: Text messaging was invented for things like this. Really.


No, but seriously... text message. The answer is always text message.

Ex: sry hun but im sure ur bf is cheating on u. :'( sry again. btw did that mex food last nite give u nasty gas 2?

[takemyhand]

hmph.

[AlkalineAshes]

Text message.

Interesting fact: Text messaging was invented for things like this. Really.


No, but seriously... text message. The answer is always text message.

Ex: sry hun but im sure ur bf is cheating on u. :'( sry again. btw did that mex food last nite give u nasty gas 2?

ive seen this happen and it rarely results in the gf believing- leaving the guy.. Its a mess I tell u

[takemyhand]

I'm thinking about using the Truth Box app. on Myspace..

[takemyhand]

Damn, they both took the app off.

[killerswells]

dude, you cant tell her until you have actual evidence, such as pics with him in the act, or stuff like that. telling your friend you think hes a cheater will only upset her, and cause a rift in your relationship with her.

what you need to do is get all PI on that dude and get some real evidence. guys are dumb as fuck, if he is cheating, there is a trail of evidence somewhere.

[drivthru182]

I don't feel proof is necessary. If she is your best friend, and you tell her because you care about her, then while she may be mad, it isn't fair to her in the first place. Don't shoot the messenger, right?

[SonEric84]

I'm thinking about using the Truth Box app. on Myspace..



She's your best friend, you should be able to talk about anything. Just start out by saying you heard something disturbing and you don't know if it's anything, but since you're her friend and you care about her you owe it to her to tell her. Also, tell her you would feel guilty having heard this and not saying anything about it and that if the situation were reversed you'd want to know too.

[SincerelyMe]

As sad a situation as this is, it's not your place to get involved. This is her relationship. No good will come of you getting involved in it.

[.invisible ink.]

She's your best friend, you should be able to talk about anything. Just start out by saying you heard something disturbing and you don't know if it's anything, but since you're her friend and you care about her you owe it to her to tell her. Also, tell her you would feel guilty having heard this and not saying anything about it and that if the situation were reversed you'd want to know too.

this.

[whataclush]

Yeah, I understand.
How do I tell her though?

I was in a similar situation. my best friend (male)...moved away and left his girlfriend. she is also my best friend. well, he told me on the phone that he fucked around 6 girls while being away from her. i felt really sorry for his girl, and while in Homeroom, i told her everything. she started crying and then a lot of her friends and my friends, were pissed off at me. yeah, youre going to feel like a jerk, but in the end she was thankful that i told her the truth. like nike, JUST DO IT!!!!!

[Skillen]

Ignorance is bliss, what you've got to ask yourself; will telling her make her happier, will it make life an easier for you or your guy friend. We all know the answer to this is no. The only thing it will do is make you feel better about yourself.

If hes cheating, he obviously doesn't like her that much which means the relationship will end soon so just wait for things to naturally fizzle out.

Easier and happier for everyone. No need to thank me.

[takemyhand]

She's your best friend, you should be able to talk about anything. Just start out by saying you heard something disturbing and you don't know if it's anything, but since you're her friend and you care about her you owe it to her to tell her. Also, tell her you would feel guilty having heard this and not saying anything about it and that if the situation were reversed you'd want to know too.

Thanks, I like this advice

[SonEric84]

Thanks, I like this advice


In the great words of Uncle Jesse: "I'm there for ya babe" ;-)

[takemyhand]

No offense, but I don't think I should just ignore it.

Lol, I think I would hate my friend if she knew my boyfriend was cheating on me and she didn't tell me.

I'd feel like an idiot.

[takemyhand]

In the great words of Uncle Jesse: "I'm there for ya babe" ;-)

hahaha

[takemyhand]

I was in a similar situation. my best friend (male)...moved away and left his girlfriend. she is also my best friend. well, he told me on the phone that he fucked around 6 girls while being away from her. i felt really sorry for his girl, and while in Homeroom, i told her everything. she started crying and then a lot of her friends and my friends, were pissed off at me. yeah, youre going to feel like a jerk, but in the end she was thankful that i told her the truth. like nike, JUST DO IT!!!!!

Mmmm. These situations suck. Thanks for the help.

[whataclush]

Mmmm. These situations suck. Thanks for the help.

yes, i think they easily would have gotten married in the future, so if the couple youre talking about is in that kind of "love" level, i guarantee your friend will cry cry cry you a river, for atleast a week. but its for the best, im sure we would all want our friends to tell us something like that if they knew.

[worthwaiting]

Tell her. She deserves to know it.

[takemyhand]

yes, i think they easily would have gotten married in the future, so if the couple youre talking about is in that kind of "love" level, i guarantee your friend will cry cry cry you a river, for atleast a week. but its for the best, im sure we would all want our friends to tell us something like that if they knew.

Yeah they're on the "love" level :|
This sucks.
But yeah, I'd definitely want to know.

[fadedmemories]

Convince your best friend to cheat on him, tape it and show it to her bf.

[AlexEnglish]

see, they've been dating for three years now.
if they end up together, in 20 years she'll wise up and say:
"I think he may be cheating on me. Or he may have done it in the past. What do you think?


And also, once a cheater always a cheater. He wont stop, so your just stopping as much hurt as possible. You tell her now, she'll dump him before she gets in waaaaay to deep.

[takemyhand]

see, they've been dating for three years now.
if they end up together, in 20 years she'll wise up and say:
"I think he may be cheating on me. Or he may have done it in the past. What do you think?


And also, once a cheater always a cheater. He wont stop, so your just stopping as much hurt as possible. You tell her now, she'll dump him before she gets in waaaaay to deep.

Oh yeah so in 20 years I can tell her I know he's been cheating all along, sorry.

And 'once cheater always a cheater' is completely false.

advice fail.

[Nerdy91]

Where is the anal comment? X-)

[Reaver]

Oh yeah so in 20 years I can tell her I know he's been cheating all along, sorry.

And 'once cheater always a cheater' is completely false.

advice fail.

does this mean that you cheated on someone before and plan not to do it again?

[kemichels]

They're been together for three years, how do I lay something like that down on her?
Shit.

Just tell her where you heard it and that you think it's an honest concern, and as her friend, you're just looking out for her by telling her. Don't say you're 100% sure...it's ultimately up to her whether she's going to believe you, but at least try to motivate her enough and stress the importance that she need confront her boyfriend about it.

It's difficult, but stress you think it's really important, especially considering there's the possibility of her being hurt by not knowing and only finding out later, in some other worse way.

[Kozzy333]

I can see this going two ways:

1) You tell her she gets pissed off at you.

2) You don't tell her, she finds out and gets pissed off at you.

Pretty much a lose-lose situation but just tell her. Maybe I'll be wrong.

[UntilItKillsYou]

Where is the anal comment? X-)

right there

Clayton's Law works again!

[piglet]

Anal?!

[Kassie09]

I'd definitely want my friend to tell me. However, a lot of girls will for some reason, end up hating the friend and not believe them. If she ends up not listening to you, just let it go, let her make her own mistakes and one day, she'll realize you were just being an awesome friend.

[kdefrisc]

the thing is, unless you are absolutely sure he is cheating, i wouldn't tell her, i would try to work the angle that she deserves better and show her how she should be with someone that treats her better although i'm not confident she would listen to you. i know it sucks to see a good friend hurting but she may just have to come around to this realization in her own time :/

[AlexEnglish]

And 'once cheater always a cheater' is completely false.

advice fail.


you think it would be. but its not.
you think he would only cheat on her once, never again?
why is that one girl that he cheated on his girlfriend with any better than any other girl?
"oh i would only cheat on her with you, nobody else?"
right.
rebuttal fail.