Brokencyde - I'm Not A Fan, But The Kids Like It!

[Julia Conny]

Brokencyde - I'm Not A Fan, But The Kids Like It!
Release Date: June 16, 2009
Record Label: Break Silence Recordings

I'm supposed to want Brokencyde. And by want, I mean, I want to get fucking freaky with Brokencyde. How could I not? They spend all their time in the club. Their sexual experience far trumps mine. They drink Cristal. They even do drugs!

Because Brokencyde, residents of "Albucrunky 505 Let's Get Crunk, New Mexico", spend every waking moment fucking and getting fucked up, they don't have time to invest in self-improvement. School, the gym or even music lessons take a backseat to what's important: a lavish lifestyle and the ladies. It's crucial that you understand this. I know because their new record, crunkcore extravaganza I'm Not A Fan, But The Kids Like It!, told me so.

Because Brokencyde insist they are really true form musicians (http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=1059142), I am left to believe that this band simply thinks that fucking and getting fucked up is the epitome of life and all its glories. Except for seven-minute drone-tone "I'm Sorry", which is a lyrical ballad dripping with love-torn musings like "I tried so hard to break you/I love you/I hate you/why wont you let me go?", Brokencyde don't beat around the bush. There are 17 tracks on the album: one is an intro, one is a phone call skit, one is the aforementioned "I'm Sorry", one is "Jealously" (which I assume is a reaction to the band's army of haters), and the other 13 are about exactly the same thing, and you know what that is. To lessen the responsibility of making the music, the band derives their "instrumentals" from the crunk genre, making all of I'm Not A Fan a miserable Lil Jon and Three 6 Mafia awkward white boy rip off.

Brokencyde also has a crucial skill for repetition. Se7en, the band's wailing lyricist and hand-stuck-in-the-blender chihuahua screamer and Phat J, the low, grumbling howler who sounds like he's slurping soup are the complimentary boosters to Mik L, the band's lead singer (and hypeman, because he doesn't actually sing that much). Like on "40 OZ.", Se7en and Phat J spit out "LET'S DRINK THE FORTY OUNCE! LET'S GET CRUNK IN THE CLUB!" upwards of thirty times. The combination of the two screamers isn't a pleasant togetherness, and the result is something like dragging a quartz rock along a piece of sheet metal.

It's unfortunate for Brokencyde that no matter how sexy they feel when walking into the club (like on "Freaxxx"), it's still going to take a large spread of alcohol, marijuana and ecstasy to get a girl to come home with them, or at least that's what their music tells me. Borderline desperate and itching for a blowjob, Brokencyde will "make you lick my magic stick" and "lick my lollipop". And then "make it drop" because they're "too drunk to stop". "Excuse me if I touch your crotch/cause I'm drunk right now and my dick is bored/cause I can't meet chicks at the liquor store" ("Rockstar").

And if this was all a joke, then this review would be very different. Using an elementary level of synthesized bass pumpage, electronics and top hat tings, I'm Not A Fan is bottomline catchy or catchy by default. I could take the joke for the sake of a few active night clubs. But since they do think of themselves as a legitimate working band, with a sole synthesizer in hand and band member - Antz - whose role is to turn on the strobe and fog maker, I am forced to believe Brokencyde when they say they want me to "make [their] pee pee hard" ("Sex Toyz"). I am nothing but obligated to believe that this band can swoon me over.

Which brings me to my little sister. She's 15, she's impressionable and she likes boys that wear skinny jeans. I brought her I'm Not A Fan, But The Kids Like It! in the purpose that she'll at least give me a more age-appropriate opinion. She looked at me, opened her eyes wide like a fawn who has been chained to a rock and shook her head with a firm NO.

I'm not a fan is an understatement, but about the kids liking it... Hold that thought, B-cyde.

Millionaires, 3OH!3, Hyper Crush, Breathe Carolina, the demise of everything that's special and cool about music.

[Burn That Shit]

lol

[WhoSaidThat?]

You rock (http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m267/FallenAngel_21/AXe2.jpg?t=1245176705), Julia.

[WhoSaidThat?]

ATTN: BrokeNCYDE

rp_IFSBIak4

[hcky0819]

...and commence the 900 comments hating on B-cyde....

[denissuxx]

Awesome review.

[Kobrakai09]

This thread is going to explode.

[liquideasy]

I've been trying to stand clear of posting about stupid shit (pretty unsuccessful) ..but I just gotta say: Word.

[evenifitkillsme]

there's not a rating low enough.

[deezee]

Sorry you had to suffer through this Julia haha

I listened to the whole thing on Myspace just for the hell of it. Nice Review.

[Julia Conny]

You rock (http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m267/FallenAngel_21/AXe2.jpg?t=1245176705), Julia.

hahaha. yup, that looks just like me.

[deezee]

there's not a rating low enough.
Yeah I wish they could give something a negative score.

Like -1,000,000%

[Julia Conny]

there's not a rating low enough.
A rating this low is really a moot point.

[TK Charger]

some songs r legit

[FueledByFrodo]

Great review.

[zubinmoosa]

Great review Julia haha

[Keagan Ilvonen]

Julia, will you marry me?

[hiya]

great review, how did you even manage to sit through listening and deciphering the cd?

And I can't believe "Excuse me if I touch your crotch/cause I'm drunk right now and my dick is bored/cause I can't meet chicks at the liquor store" are real lyrics.

[AndrewIcex]

Hahaha good job.

[riseagainstfan]

haha good review but i think you were too easy on them

[deezee]

How do you guys decide who reviews what?

Did you draw the short straw?

[BlackpoolLights]

some songs r legit
*bangs head on computer*

[riseagainstfan]

some songs r legit

dude stop drinking

[AndrewIcex]

some songs r legit
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d165/korig5785/GTFOSMALL.jpg

[riseagainstfan]

is it national hate on Brokencyde day? seriously this is the second thread

[popdisaster00]

Jesus those two video interviews are almost unbearable to watch

[awakeohsleeper]

Tell it like it is. Well done, good review.

[pshh]

you deserve a purple heart for this, only because you didn't kill yourself listening to this

[Mirrorsandfevers]

Happy for your sister.

[RyanFTW]

JV_akQaCe7k

[Burn That Shit]

You guys just don't understand the fun of getting crunk and fucking little girls. If you lived your life being badass like Brokencyde, you'd obviously need a soundtrack to your life, and Brokencyde provides that soundtrack.

[Julia Conny]

Great review.

Great review Julia haha

Thanks guys.

Julia, will you marry me?

Only if you can get Brokencyde to play at our wedding.

great review, how did you even manage to sit through listening and deciphering the cd?

And I can't believe "Excuse me if I touch your crotch/cause I'm drunk right now and my dick is bored/cause I can't meet chicks at the liquor store" are real lyrics.

It was hard at first, but then I watched a couple of their videos and it was just too funny to take seriously. I'm glad it's over though. My ears kinda hurt, literally.

[Tyler Vagyler]

worst album of the decade

[Julia Conny]

is it national hate on Brokencyde day? seriously this is the second thread
There's another thread?

Well, to be fair, most every day for the few months has been Hate On Brokencyde Day.

[saysmydoctor]

:appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl:

[Julia Conny]

How do you guys decide who reviews what?

Did you draw the short straw?
Actually, I picked to do it. I've been reviewing stuff I love so much recently that I wanted to switch it up. Plus, I'll be out on Warped for a few weeks this summer, so I figured I should probably get in on the crunkcore secret.

[dpatrickguy]

I find it hard to believe that they really fuck anything worth fucking ever.

maybe this (http://media.dorks.com/content/pic/d2252008/funky_goth_emo_chick.jpg) girl

[EmotionalJack]

lol @ Julia's sister

[PigDestroyer]

This website REALLY needs to get over Brokencyde. Who cares. 7 paragraphs? Jesus Christ, they are whiteboys trying to sound like lil' Jon from like 4 years ago. Big deal.

[Charles777]

Very good review. I like the last "RIYL".

[NorthstarPark]

Julia has more balls than anyone here for listening to this shit.

[Julia Conny]

This website REALLY needs to get over Brokencyde. Who cares. 7 paragraphs? Jesus Christ, they are whiteboys trying to sound like lil' Jon from like 4 years ago. Big deal.
It took me like an hour (at most) to write this review, so don't you worry, these seven paragraphs are like two real ones.

[leifstar]

perfect.

[gabegr]

good review. it was pretty funny too

[Cheesus]

This review is epic. I cannot stress that enough.


some songs r legit

fucking leave.

[Theseventhson]

Nice review.

[hiya]

It was hard at first, but then I watched a couple of their videos and it was just too funny to take seriously. I'm glad it's over though. My ears kinda hurt, literally.

haha aww, you need to treat yourself to a spa day or something.

[Im Felling this]

too high

[riseagainstfan]

There's another thread?

Well, to be fair, most every day for the few months has been Hate On Brokencyde Day.
im referring to the one about kevin lyman defending them on warped

[HometownHero]

I will never listen to this album. But I do love this review with all my heart

[Cheesus]

too high
Moot point. She could have rated it 0 and it would have been too high.

[HometownHero]

im referring to the one about kevin lyman defending them on warped
You defending Brokencyde makes you just as big of a tool as Kevin Lyman is right now

[Julia Conny]

im referring to the one about kevin lyman defending them on warped
Ah yes.

I can move on with my life now that this crap is off my to-do list.

[deezee]

Actually, I picked to do it. I've been reviewing stuff I love so much recently that I wanted to switch it up. Plus, I'll be out on Warped for a few weeks this summer, so I figured I should probably get in on the crunkcore secret.
Oh okay I was just wondering.

I'm going to warped too, but I'm going avoid all things crunkcore...and Jefree Starr.

[Julia Conny]

haha aww, you need to treat yourself to a spa day or something.
I think I'm going to get a cup of coffee. That's my current drug of choice.

[Keagan Ilvonen]

Thanks guys.



Only if you can get Brokencyde to play at our wedding.



It was hard at first, but then I watched a couple of their videos and it was just too funny to take seriously. I'm glad it's over though. My ears kinda hurt, literally.
I'll hit up Antz, He can work out something for us, maybe even a little fog.

[Julia Conny]

Oh okay I was just wondering.

I'm going to warped too, but I'm going avoid all things crunkcore...and Jefree Starr.
Eesh, Jeffree Star.

Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to avoid all the crunkcore stuff on Warped. I'll just have to man up and find a way to cover it without giving up my soul.

[Julia Conny]

I'll hit up Antz, He can work out something for us, maybe even a little fog.
Haha. How dreamy.

[riseagainstfan]

some band should come out with an album called "at least its better than brokencyde"

[Julia Conny]

I actually listed to the entire album a few days ago when I was cooking breakfast. It was pretty bad not to mention monotonous as fuck. Most of the songs have the same lyric repeated like 20 times which gets old quick. How many times did you listen to the entire album?
Well, I got started on the review last night. Mostly just listened to the album once through and jotted down notes. And then today, I gave it a good two repeats and wrote the bulk of it.

It was pretty impossible to listen to the album all the way through, though. I mostly jumped around from track to track.

[Raarzipan]

Despite the fact that this is about brokencyde and yes they do suck, this was a REALLY well written review imo, and you didn't just bash on them blindly, you went in, listened to it a few times and wrote a very (what seemed like) thought out and unbias review. Let's be honest, you could have went in and just bashed them nonstop, but you supplied the review with valid reasons as to why this CD wasn't very good.

[yayitsjoe]

this is a fantastic review. i'm actually surprised you wrote a review, instead of just ripping apart the entire album. the part about your sister is a good addition too.

[TheRagingJew]

brokencyde is the shit...

literally shit

[gladnads]

Too much effort Julie, I'm disappointed.

also why can't I vote less than 3%?

[WhoSaidThat?]

JV_akQaCe7k
Less than fucking three.

[brenByah]

I'm sorry you had to listen to this whole album, you're a brave soul.

[Julia Conny]

Despite the fact that this is about brokencyde and yes they do suck, this was a REALLY well written review imo, and you didn't just bash on them blindly, you went in, listened to it a few times and wrote a very (what seemed like) thought out and unbias review. Let's be honest, you could have went in and just bashed them nonstop, but you supplied the review with valid reasons as to why this CD wasn't very good.

this is a fantastic review. i'm actually surprised you wrote a review, instead of just ripping apart the entire album. the part about your sister is a good addition too.

Major thank yous.

Too much effort Julie, I'm disappointed.

also why can't I vote less than 3%?

My name is Julia.

I only put as much effort forth as Brokencyde puts into their music.

It was so bad I had to stop midway through twice and come back later and finish it. It took three sittings to hear it all and I can't fathom ever listening to it again much less straight through. You must be a very dedicated reviewer to actually give this multiple spins

No man, I promise you I am not made of steel. I started last night and had to stop because it was getting to be too much.

[brenByah]

some band should come out with an album called "at least its better than brokencyde"
I could fart into a microphone and make that album.

[MyNameIsRoss]

I think you were too generous with the rating.

[riseagainstfan]

I could fart into a microphone and make that album.
i know this would be the tracklisting
1. farting into microphone
2. taking a shit
3. overloaded trash compactor
4.car accident

i could go on all day

[jesse-k]

this review made my day, thank you :)

[therookielot]

Can't you rate in the negatives?

[Illuminate]

Vocals 1.75??

[Julia Conny]

Does the exact number of the score really matter at this point?

Nope, it doesn't.

[Benny K]

couple spelling errors, not that i care.
I would argue that some would say the demise of anything that is special and/or cool about music happened mid 80's through to the early 90's.

For this tho, being what it is, it could have been worse. I also dont understand how you can lump 3oh!3 along with the rest of those. I think theyre a lot more musically gifted, whether it only be the dude with the beard and his production, hes got an ear for what works. The rest of them just try to sound like kids

[zonto]

Vocals 1.75??
That MAY be simply because they actually "sang?"

I hope they get pelted with rocks, tomatoes, or even shot with arrows on Warped Tour.

[Julia Conny]

couple spelling errors, not that i care.
I would argue that some would say the demise of anything that is special and/or cool about music happened mid 80's through to the early 90's.

For this tho, being what it is, it could have been worse. I also dont understand how you can lump 3oh!3 along with the rest of those. I think theyre a lot more musically gifted, whether it only be the dude with the beard and his production, hes got an ear for what works. The rest of them just try to sound like kids
Please let me know what spelling errors because I did not catch them.

EDIT: Nevermind, got 'em.

EDIT #2: RIYL stands for Recommended If You Like. Therefore, if you like Brokencyde, you might also like 3OH!3.

I agree though, 3OH!3 is far better than Brokencyde, Breathe Carolina or Millionaires. They're fun and somewhat clever. I can't say I listen to them on a regular basis, but I don't have anything against them.

[UnderMyDreams]

Too high of a rating.

[UnderMyDreams]

Vocals 1.75??
Yea... That's insanely high. There aren't even vocals on the album, it's a bunch of whines and squeals.

[tanyanafosho]

"The demise of everything that's cool and special about music." hahahaha I love it.

[Julia Conny]

I still don't get this site's fascination with hating on a reviewer's score. Doesn't the user rating exist so you can score it like you want?
Yup.

[Julia Conny]

Yea... That's insanely high. There aren't even vocals on the album, it's a bunch of whines and squeals.
Insanely high? Hahaha.

[billyboatkid]

Hey not everyone from Albuquerque is a fuck head.

Don't let them tarnish our city. haha

Those fucks.

[riseagainstfan]

i just tried listening to a song made it about a minute through makes me appreciate some f my favorite bands so much more

[ACA]

aoty

[UnderMyDreams]

Insanely high? Hahaha.
haha I mean comparatively, like to lyrics and musicianship. For the vocals I would have expected somewhere between .3 and .5, especially not above 1 considering they don't have any real vocals...

[Julia Conny]

haha I mean comparatively, like to lyrics and musicianship. For the vocals I would have expected somewhere between .3 and .5, especially not above 1 considering they don't have any real vocals...
I promise you this isn't even worth discussing.

[oncedarkness]

Hana, not sure how long this has been the case but their Wikipedia page has been deleted.

[drzafs]

Haha, I feel bad that you even had to listen to the whole album.

[riseagainstfan]

Hana, not sure how long this has been the case but their Wikipedia page has been deleted.
i dont think they ever had one

[SeanEBoy2686]

hahaha. yup, that looks just like me.
Did you lose a bet? Or was there another reason you got stuck reviewing this?

[riseagainstfan]

Haha, I feel bad that you even had to listen to the whole album.
i feel bad you had to listen to even 30 seconds of a song

[UnderMyDreams]

I promise you this isn't even worth discussing.
I'm not saying it is, I was just giving an opinion haha.

[UnderMyDreams]

i feel bad you had to listen to even 30 seconds of a song
I feel bad she had to look at the titles.

[zachff]

Hilarious, hilarious review

[Stevecase]

I'll make sure to accidentally step on and crush a copy of their cd in the record store.

[Broclee]

Well-written review, aside from the fact that Brokencyde is an auditory fuck-fest.

[oncedarkness]

i dont think they ever had one
I just clicked the cached version of the site from google before it was deleted. This is a little gem:
BrokeNCYDE was the brainchild of vocalists Se7en and Mikl. Se7en and Mikl created a band to pass time while having problems with their girlfriends.
I guess they aren't having problems with things so needing of lasting attention like "girlfriends" anymore. Ah, I wish the part that says "Brokencyde WAS the brainchild..." means that they are no longer coughing into microphones.

[brenByah]

I just clicked the cached version of the site from google before it was deleted. This is a little gem:

I guess they aren't having problems with things so needing of lasting attention like "girlfriends" anymore. Ah, I wish the part that says "Brokencyde WAS the brainchild..." means that they are no longer coughing into microphones.
Having problems with their girlfriends? I thought they were all ladies men that were always gettin' laid! :-0

[Travis Parno]

awesome stuff, j-money

[riseagainstfan]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=brokencyde

[Julia Conny]

Did you lose a bet? Or was there another reason you got stuck reviewing this?
I wanted to because I hadn't reviewed anything I hated in awhile, so I figured this would be kind of fun.

Oh and since I'm the only female reviewer, I thought it would be kinda sweet to put the girl touch on it. Because I think girls in the Brokencyde world aren't allowed to speak.

[HometownHero]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=brokencyde
This is fucking hilarious

[npmshah]

this album sucks. alot. HORRIBLE production.
and i considered myself a fan up until this release

[Jamos4184]

there's not a rating low enough.
Well, Julia said she couldn't help but be swooned by the guys, so you can't blame her entirely.

This review is better than anything Brokencyde will EVER release.

[Alex DiVincenzo]

Well played.

[riseagainstfan]

brokencyde makes deaf people cry

[Brandon Allin]

Hahahahahahaha.

[Steve Henderson]

This was such a great read.

[Steve Henderson]

Hey not everyone from Albuquerque is a fuck head.

Don't let them tarnish our city. haha

Those fucks.
You must be proud.

[billyboatkid]

You must be proud.
I didn't even know they where from here or existed until about a month or two ago.

It sucks that people know they are from Alb. Terrible.

[Chris Fallon]

Damn woman -- this review is fantastic. I am just upset drugging girls to get them to come home with you is not a legitimate practice. How embarrassing for my ego.

Seriously though, GREAT GREAT GREAT review. Flows like Courvoisier into my Pimp Cup.

[trappedintime]

:appl: amazing job Julia.

[Sherrice]

Haha. Reading that was great.

[theripped0ne]

cannot wait to throw vegetables at them this summers warped tour! woohoo!

[jbaseball44]

some songs r legit
No

[Gaugzilla]

I knew that AP.net (or any site) will give this a scathing review (as they should) and, as a journalist, I'll say it's tough to write a really well-written, scathing review without coming off as a dick or elitist.

And this is fantastic. Probably the best AP.net review I've ever read. You had to endure the CD and were able to get gold out of the result. Kudos.

[DejaMe]

Despite the fact that this is about brokencyde and yes they do suck, this was a REALLY well written review imo, and you didn't just bash on them blindly, you went in, listened to it a few times and wrote a very (what seemed like) thought out and unbias review. Let's be honest, you could have went in and just bashed them nonstop, but you supplied the review with valid reasons as to why this CD wasn't very good.
Very well constructed comment, I very much agree wth this and the review. Well written Julia! I like how you linked the album title at the end. I certainly hope that this trend fades as it should. If not I will ignore it and block out the fact that music-wise we are in a sad state...but all hope is not lost.

To quote reverend lovejoy's wife in The Simpsons: for god's sake won't somebody PLEASE think of the children!!

[Anton Djamoos]

No mention of Daddy dick?

[Steve Henderson]

cannot wait to throw vegetables at them this summers warped tour! woohoo!
If any band deserves to get bottled (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YHLPjEQL0A), it is these guys.

[YouSmellExcited]

some songs r legit
someone who isn't afraid of backlash, kudos. reel big fish & ska suck ass btw ^^^

[friskycurtain]

poor julia

[whataclush]

is this the lowest rated album, ever?

[Illuminate]

Insanely high? Hahaha.
Have you heard this album!? ;)

[YouSmellExcited]

I think you were too generous with the rating.
a Doom & Brokencyde collab would be..interesting

[YouSmellExcited]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=brokencyde
#1 rules the school! :-d

[WordzandDreamz]

never heard this band, but fuck em

[2hxc4you]

this review is perfect, i cant believe you suffered through that whole cd, way to take one for the team hahaha

[oncedarkness]

To lessen the responsibility of making... Not sure if you spotted this one, Julia. Btw, this was probably the best review I've seen on the site in quite some time.

[Khaos]

I like Breathe Carolina and I have to admit 3OH!3 can write atleast one catchy chorus but Brokencyde is TERRIBLE. This album sounds like spongebob going through a woodchipper.

[brenByah]

If any band deserves to get bottled (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YHLPjEQL0A), it is these guys.
Holy shit, I've never seen that.

[Charles777]

If any band deserves to get bottled (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YHLPjEQL0A), it is these guys.
Aw, man.

[alltimecam]

Was this really necessary to review?

[Shatter_Glass]

A0TY.

My children's children will listen to this record.

[Shatter_Glass]

...and commence the 900 comments hating on B-cyde....
well duh son, what are you a prophet?

[prettymucharobo]

Julia, you are truly a brave soul for reviewing this record and have my respect.

[duckduckgoose]

dear julia,

your ears need therapy after that molestation. just put some acceptance on and enjoy the rest of the day.

[Clark]

Member Rating: -4159%Love it.


To lesson the responsibility of making the music,
I believe that should be "lessen."

It's unfortunate for Brokencyde that no matter how sexy they feel when walking into the club (like on "Freaxxx", it's still going to take a large spread of alcohol, marijuana and ecstasy to get a girl to come home with them, or at least that's what their music tells me.
It looks like you're missing your closing parenthesis.

[cory-182]

I'm really curious to see where this band goes after this release. Hopefully they don't get as popular as I'm worried they will.

[Corgkowznor]

About what I expected...a little high in lasting value though haha

[MyNameIsRoss]

a Doom & Brokencyde collab would be..interesting
:wallbash:

[Merkin]

haha those lyrics are ridiculous

[Smeee]

dear julia,

your ears need therapy after that molestation. just put some acceptance on and enjoy the rest of the day.
Agreed.

[doppelganger]

such a good review haha!

[brenByah]

I'm really anxious to hear Warped stories after this summer. I have a feeling it will be hell for Brokencyde.

[CellarGhosts]

lol, love the member rating.

[more heart]

Well written review Julia. Thanks.

[jwicklun]

I find it hard to believe that they really fuck anything worth fucking ever.

maybe this (http://media.dorks.com/content/pic/d2252008/funky_goth_emo_chick.jpg) girl
oh sweet jesus, no

[Metal Now]

Hahaha, this is all that needs to be said. Can we just ignore this shitty excuse of a band now?

[jwicklun]

move over beatles. step aside springsteen. get out of town dylan. theres a new group of musical legends in town.

[hailthewarrior]

I love you, Julia. That was fantastic.

[Wait_For_It]

Great review, Julia. I'm so sorry you had to listen to the album.

[swt_catastrophe]

16% seems a little high to me...

[underthetalking]

Writing a review for this band is completely unnecessary. I have no idea why you would waste your time writing a review for this band when there are countless bands that would actually benefit from getting a review on this website, good or bad. This is totally pointless unless you were just doing it to get another 15 page thread of the same boring comments. But if you wanted that, you could have merely made a news post.

[ninetyFhOURs]

i saw them with Breathe Carolina. i puked in my mouth when i heard their singing and lyrics. i feel Breathe has more legitimacy than them. not that is necessarily hard to do

i think buddy nielson said it right
http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=943482

i'm not the biggest fan of Senses Fail, but they've got my full fledged support on this one

thats probably already been posted

[Kill_the_radio]

Lasting Value 2.25

why?

[Fooey]

-2846%

Lmfao

[brenByah]

i saw them with Breathe Carolina. i puked in my mouth when i heard their singing and lyrics. i feel Breathe has more legitimacy than them. not that is necessarily hard to do

i think buddy nielson said it right
http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=943482

i'm not the biggest fan of Senses Fail, but they've got my full fledged support on this one

thats probably already been posted
I can be honest, Buddy is awful live, but god I still love that man.

[Charles777]

Here's my review...

"This album is terrible. Don't buy/listen to it."

The End.

[JimmyIymmiJ]

Nice review.

[bobby runs]

I have to say that Brokencyde has progressed since "Freaxxx" their e-40 song shows improvement.

[The Apollo Kid]

Are bands that are obviously hated intensely on this site worth to review? It just seems like an attempt to rally the crowd

[grimis16]

Are bands that are obviously hated intensely on this site worth to review? It just seems like an attempt to rally the crowd
whats wrong with that?

[SandManTEND13]

hahahaha I love it how the average member rating is in the negatives

[Javs]

I'll say this again, and I've said it before.
Every year I have a backstage pass to warped tour.
I don't care if I get a criminal charge against me, I don't care if I get backstage pass privileges to that pavilion revoked for the rest of my life, I'm slashing all four of their tour van tires when they come to boise.

[birtcho]

im suprised it managed 16%

[Cheesus]

I'll say this again, and I've said it before.
Every year I have a backstage pass to warped tour.
I don't care if I get a criminal charge against me, I don't care if I get backstage pass privileges to that pavilion revoked for the rest of my life, I'm slashing all four of their tour van tires when they come to boise.
:appl:

[Javs]

too bad boise is near the end of the tour though

[TheLoyalVox]

Best review I've ever read.

[silentjslivjak]

im proud of your sister

[ezco25]

16% that high???? wow im gna go run and buy this record so i could i could throw it at the douches in brokencyde, or ill use the whole in the cd as a shithole

[Nick Le]

Great review, great read.

[Nick Le]

I'll say this again, and I've said it before.
Every year I have a backstage pass to warped tour.
I don't care if I get a criminal charge against me, I don't care if I get backstage pass privileges to that pavilion revoked for the rest of my life, I'm slashing all four of their tour van tires when they come to boise.
This will be amazing.

And again, the review is great. It was well written, and I like how you didn't go straight into bashing the band. You actually talked about the album and the songs, and made the review better. Kudos, Julia.

[drudo182]

L O L

This band is such trash. Love the review/ratings.

[lafiora]

I wanted to because I hadn't reviewed anything I hated in awhile, so I figured this would be kind of fun.

Oh and since I'm the only female reviewer, I thought it would be kinda sweet to put the girl touch on it. Because I think girls in the Brokencyde world aren't allowed to speak.

awesome.

[simensays]

There was no point in you reviewing this. I don't think any artist can get signed and deserve a 1.2/10 unless they are a literal joke band like William Hung.
I haven't heard their shit, but you reviewed this for the publicity. Funny, because i'm sure they are making music for the publicity. You are just as bad as they are

[Alex!]

some songs r legit
I really hope you're kidding.

[Analog Rebellion]

I'll say this again, and I've said it before.
Every year I have a backstage pass to warped tour.
I don't care if I get a criminal charge against me, I don't care if I get backstage pass privileges to that pavilion revoked for the rest of my life, I'm slashing all four of their tour van tires when they come to boise.

Sir, I will buy you a beer if you do that. 2 beers, even.

However, I bet they'll be on a bus, sadly.

[Julia Conny]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=brokencyde

Yup, used that page as "research". This (http://www.somethingawful.com/d/garbage-day/brokencyde-freaxxx-bree.php) article cracked me up too.

awesome stuff, j-money

Well played.

This was such a great read.

Damn woman -- this review is fantastic. I am just upset drugging girls to get them to come home with you is not a legitimate practice. How embarrassing for my ego.

Seriously though, GREAT GREAT GREAT review. Flows like Courvoisier into my Pimp Cup.

Thank yous wonderful boys. Love you all.

I knew that AP.net (or any site) will give this a scathing review (as they should) and, as a journalist, I'll say it's tough to write a really well-written, scathing review without coming off as a dick or elitist.

And this is fantastic. Probably the best AP.net review I've ever read. You had to endure the CD and were able to get gold out of the result. Kudos.

That means a lot. I guess I tried not to be bias, but it's not like it's hard to hate this band.

No mention of Daddy dick?

Oh man! I should've included that. By the time I felt like I was done, I couldn't bear to listen anymore.

Was this really necessary to review?

But then everyone would bitch about the lack of review. Lose lose!

About what I expected...a little high in lasting value though haha

It is and I knew that. The ONLY reason why I gave it a smidgen more in lasting value is because it's the big trend right now, and inevitably, songs from this album will probably be playing in between sets at shows for the next few months.

[more heart]

Sir, I will buy you a beer if you do that. 2 beers, even.

However, I bet they'll be on a bus, sadly.
Yeah, well I've actually seen their bus. It's this big black bus with their name written all over it in pink.

[Julia Conny]

There was no point in you reviewing this. I don't think any artist can get signed and deserve a 1.2/10 unless they are a literal joke band like William Hung.
I haven't heard their shit, but you reviewed this for the publicity. Funny, because i'm sure they are making music for the publicity. You are just as bad as they are
Yes, if we all stopped hating on this band, then they would just go away, right?

In the dark souls of Brokencyde members, there is at least a teensy part of them that is hurt by all this bad press. And I get that all press is good press, but I would rather continuously see the hate rain down than see them release stuff like this at high proportions without someone saying something, whether it be me, Buddy or members of this website.

[justinmfi]

great review....seriously...to hell with this band...it makes me sick to see the kind of crap that is called music now-a-days...But, whatever sells, right?

[Analog Rebellion]

Yeah, well I've actually seen their bus. It's this big black bus with their name written all over it in pink.
Haha, why am I not surprised??

[derekmoyer4]

Yes, if we all stopped hating on this band, then they would just go away, right?

In the dark souls of Brokencyde members, there is at least a teensy part of them that is hurt by all this bad press. And I get that all press is good press, but I would rather continuously see the hate rain down than see them release stuff like this at high proportions without someone saying something, whether it be me, Buddy or members of this website.
yes! you tell it like it is julia and that is how it should be. this review was a true pleasure to read. :clap:

[more heart]

Haha, why am I not surprised??
I felt like vomitting upon seeing it.

[derekmoyer4]

Yeah, well I've actually seen their bus. It's this big black bus with their name written all over it in pink.
i cannot believe a human would think that was in any way cool.

[derekmoyer4]

I felt like vomitting upon seeing it.
as you should have. it is really too bad you could not just light it on fire or something.

[Jenna Conny]

Having julia as an older sister I know good music when I hear it. And after listening to just 1 minute of any song they have it's the same. I love great lyrics, and I heard nothing close to that. And besides Brokencyde is just 4 guys trying way to hard to be in the "crunk" scene then actually having any skill as musicians...I'd rather settle for something more legit at a party than listen to them. However, I do wish any artist luck in their success, but brokencyde will still not be on my ipod anytime soon.

[derekmoyer4]

Having julia as an older sister I know good music when I hear it. And after listening to just 1 minute of any song they have it's the same. I love great lyrics, and I heard nothing close to that. And besides Brokencyde is just 4 guys trying way to hard to be in the "crunk" scene then actually having any skill as musicians...I'd rather settle for something more legit at a party than listen to them. However, I do wish any artist luck in their success, but brokencyde will still not be on my ipod anytime soon.
well it is great to hear your opinion. my condolences are with you for having to listen to any of their music though.

[Julia Conny]

Having julia as an older sister I know good music when I hear it. And after listening to just 1 minute of any song they have it's the same. I love great lyrics, and I heard nothing close to that. And besides Brokencyde is just 4 guys trying way to hard to be in the "crunk" scene then actually having any skill as musicians...I'd rather settle for something more legit at a party than listen to them. However, I do wish any artist luck in their success, but brokencyde will still not be on my ipod anytime soon.
Hey lil sis.

:wave:

[Jenna Conny]

well it is great to hear your opinion. my condolences are with you for having to listen to any of their music though.
Thank you, Although I don't believe I will be listening to thier music for a while. I'm set for now.

[derekmoyer4]

Thank you, Although I don't believe I will be listening to thier music for a while. I'm set for now.
ha. well that is a fantastic decision. you have been blessed with intelligence.

[CarouselBoy]

this was a well written review for such a piece of crap. Kudos to you

[elmakias]

Actually, I picked to do it. I've been reviewing stuff I love so much recently that I wanted to switch it up. Plus, I'll be out on Warped for a few weeks this summer, so I figured I should probably get in on the crunkcore secret.
when do you go out julia, im out tell the 8th.

[Julia Conny]

My little sister is the coolest 15-year-old ever. Jenna, tell these fine folks what album you've been listening to recently.

[Jenna Conny]

Hey lil sis.

:wave:
Hey big sissy! And i do agree that you have more balls than most to write this. It is an inspiration to never hold back my own opinions.

[Julia Conny]

when do you go out julia, im out tell the 8th.
Yay!!

I'll be out July 7th to the 22nd-ish. We get to hang out for two days!

[Broclee]

Yay!!

I'll be out July 7th to the 22nd-ish. We get to hang out for two days!
What're you doing with the tour?

Just curious because the 23rd is the Charlotte date.

[ctmk]

to all going to warped tour!!!! heres a challenge.... see how many cities brokencyde can get booed off the stage moneys on 3.....

[Jenna Conny]

If the album or albums you are referring to is by Brand New then it is Deja Entendu(Which I'm currently listening too) and The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me. Both are wonderful, amazing, great, spectacular, adn so much more!

[Julia Conny]

What're you doing with the tour?

Just curious because the 23rd is the Charlotte date.
East Coast Indie is taking me out to cover the tour for them and for AP.net. I'll be interviewing, blogging, posting pictures, generally updating from the road and I believe doing some video interviews.

[mortal soldier]

The Connys are a group of aces. A+

[deezee]

ATTN: BrokeNCYDE

rp_IFSBIak4
Haha honestly that never gets old, I love that.

[derekmoyer4]

If the album or albums you are referring to is by Brand New then it is Deja Entendu(Which I'm currently listening too) and The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me. Both are wonderful, amazing, great, spectacular, adn so much more!
good choices. has your sister gotten you hooked to manchester orchestra yet?

[Broclee]

East Coast Indie is taking me out to cover the tour for them and for AP.net. I'll be interviewing, blogging, posting pictures, generally updating from the road and I believe doing some video interviews.
Awesome. What're the chances of you being on the 23rd?

[Julia Conny]

Awesome. What're the chances of you being on the 23rd?
Doubtful. I'm planning on stopping in MA so I can hang out in NYC for a few days afterward, with my sister actually.

I really wish I could do more of the tour, but maybe next year.

[MyNameIsRoss]

some songs r legit
o rlly?

[Broclee]

Doubtful. I'm planning on stopping in MA so I can hang out in NYC for a few days afterward, with my sister actually.

I really wish I could do more of the tour, but maybe next year.
Ah, all cool. Just wondering, haha.

[TheClockSounds]

Awesome Review

[zubinmoosa]

Having julia as an older sister I know good music when I hear it. And after listening to just 1 minute of any song they have it's the same. I love great lyrics, and I heard nothing close to that. And besides Brokencyde is just 4 guys trying way to hard to be in the "crunk" scene then actually having any skill as musicians...I'd rather settle for something more legit at a party than listen to them. However, I do wish any artist luck in their success, but brokencyde will still not be on my ipod anytime soon.
:highfive:

[xsinkshipsx]

I know it's been said before Julia....but i think I need to marry you too js

[zubinmoosa]

If the album or albums you are referring to is by Brand New then it is Deja Entendu(Which I'm currently listening too) and The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me. Both are wonderful, amazing, great, spectacular, adn so much more!
I like you

The Conny's are an awesome bunch

[WordsAndFears]

the best review i've ever read. brilliant.

[ndoleman]

16% is being very generous IMO

[JacksColdSweat]

What's the point of this? If anything AP is just getting this band more exposure.

[Colterj_22]

And thats real.

[barkingincision]

Excuse me if I touch your crotch/cause I'm drunk right now and my dick is bored/cause I can't meet chicks at the liquor store



Brilliant.

[bailmeout13]

Absolutely terrific review Julia. I've never heard them, so I can't make a judgment on them, but this review for sure helped me decide to stay away from them.

[mickmadethelist]

this is awesome. im just amazed you got through the whole thing!

[ryanhartkopf]

JV_akQaCe7k
Hahaha... major win.

[gonfreaks]

Hilarious review, great job. I'm sorry you had to listen to the album though.

[riseagainstfan]

Yay!!

I'll be out July 7th to the 22nd-ish. We get to hang out for two days!
your gonna be at the Boston show i'll have to stop by where ever you'll be and say hi

[Raarzipan]

I'll say this again, and I've said it before.
Every year I have a backstage pass to warped tour.
I don't care if I get a criminal charge against me, I don't care if I get backstage pass privileges to that pavilion revoked for the rest of my life, I'm slashing all four of their tour van tires when they come to boise.
You do this sir, and you are a hero. I am at The Gorge Ampitheatre date, which I believe is the next day, and would love them to not show up. I must confess I DO plan on going to see if anyone goes to watch them, of course not staying for a set but walking by.

[Julia Conny]

your gonna be at the Boston show i'll have to stop by where ever you'll be and say hi
I will be! I wont be at a booth, but send me a PM closer to the date and we'll meet up.

[newfoundmichael]

I'm not picking on Julia, but I wonder how many reviewers actually listen to a CD before bashing it when it is something obvious like Brokencyde, Aiden, or any other band that seems to just get shit on horribly. I really dislike this band too, but this seemed like more of a bash than a review.

Basically, I enjoy reading reviews where reviewers have no vices before writing...maybe I'm alone there, but I don't know. I do agree this is very bad though.

[fake empire]

This is a darn good review

[John is a cult]

this was simply hilarious.
I love you! lol

[AsfAstAswegofar]

I work in a best buy warehouse, and I received this cd a few days ago. It took every ounce in me not to Huck this piece of shit in the compacter, because I felt it would be a terrible injustice to have a role in delivering this filth to the masses. When I read the track titles and saw the cover art, my urge grew stronger, Luckily then I recieved a copy of the DVD "The Cat From Outer Space", the title itself won me over and I forgot about Brokencyde's "CD" and was instead enthralled by how this funny feline got into space.


True story.

[WhoSaidThat?]

Holy user ratings, Batman!

[DI Pistola]

I'm probably not the only one who thinks that 16% is a little generous. Still, very impressed at the professional level of objectivity in this review.

:nod:
*golf clap*

[Corgkowznor]

I work in a best buy warehouse, and I received this cd a few days ago. It took every ounce in me not to Huck this piece of shit in the compacter, because I felt it would be a terrible injustice to have a role in delivering this filth to the masses. When I read the track titles and saw the cover art, my urge grew stronger, Luckily then I recieved a copy of the DVD "The Cat From Outer Space", the title itself won me over and I forgot about Brokencyde's "CD" and was instead enthralled by how this funny feline got into space.


True story.
how many copies did you receive?

[MusicScoutJustn]

Oh hi. Just checking in to say "that review made me laugh" and "that review made my day".

Thank you for making my day!

[abellaw]

i feel bad because i really like breathe carolina and watchout! there are ghosts but hate this band, and every RIYL includes at least one of those two bands

[CellarGhosts]

I work in a best buy warehouse, and I received this cd a few days ago. It took every ounce in me not to Huck this piece of shit in the compacter, because I felt it would be a terrible injustice to have a role in delivering this filth to the masses. When I read the track titles and saw the cover art, my urge grew stronger, Luckily then I recieved a copy of the DVD "The Cat From Outer Space", the title itself won me over and I forgot about Brokencyde's "CD" and was instead enthralled by how this funny feline got into space.


True story.
Hahahahahahaha, oh man I've seen that movie. Used to watch it all the time as a kid. That just struck me as really funny for some reason.

[dru]

hahahahaha. i absolutely love the way you write.

[chelseaxsmilexD]

my friend, Katy is obsessed with this band, I said they were shit beside Freaxxx (it's tolerable) and she wnet ballistic, then I put in Chiodos, Bring Me The Horizon, iwrestledabearonce and TNTLLY and she said they were dreck.

[AndrewIcex]

my friend, Katy is obsessed with this band, I said they were shit beside Freaxxx (it's tolerable) and she wnet ballistic, then I put in Chiodos, Bring Me The Horizon, iwrestledabearonce and TNTLLY and she said they were dreck.
:hitself:

[Broclee]

my friend, Katy is obsessed with this band, I said they were shit beside Freaxxx (it's tolerable) and she wnet ballistic, then I put in Chiodos, Bring Me The Horizon, iwrestledabearonce and TNTLLY and she said they were dreck.
Wait...wait...wait....wait...

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What?

[chelseaxsmilexD]

Wait...wait...wait....wait...

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What?
my friend katy.... she thinks brokeNCYDE is amazing...

we were in my room, i show her a few songs from those bands off my iPod, and she said they were dreck.

[chelseaxsmilexD]

this album was great.....

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besides all the shitty parts

[Broclee]

my friend katy.... she thinks brokeNCYDE is amazing...

we were in my room, i show her a few songs from those bands off my iPod, and she said they were dreck.
What the fuck is "dreck?" And two of those bands are awful.

[xjulianx89]

my friend, Katy is obsessed with this band, I said they were shit beside Freaxxx (it's tolerable) and she wnet ballistic, then I put in Chiodos, Bring Me The Horizon, iwrestledabearonce and TNTLLY and she said they were dreck.
I take it you two aren't friends anymore.

[chelseaxsmilexD]

I take it you two aren't friends anymore.
we are... but we aren't music mates.

[chelseaxsmilexD]

What the fuck is "dreck?" And two of those bands are awful.
dreck=a horrible object and or entity of an object, used to refer to something otherwise known as horrendous...

which two... iWaBo and Bmth?

[Broclee]

dreck=a horrible object and or entity of an object, used to refer to something otherwise known as horrendous...

which two... iWaBo and Bmth?
Oh. I learned something new.

Yah. I don't like them. Nothing personal.

[chelseaxsmilexD]

Oh. I learned something new.

Yah. I don't like them. Nothing personal.
thnx for not "bashing" them because they're "scene" they're not just because a bunch of scene kids go to their shows, that's not the band's fault unless they literally re-do every The Blood Brothers song ever made. That doesn't mean they deserve flack if they have the instrumental skills and the screaming skills to match. Personally, I love their new album suicide season, diamonds aren't forever and it was written in blood are amazing.

and here i go dragging on, ranting...

[Broclee]

thnx for not "bashing" them because they're "scene" they're not just because a bunch of scene kids go to their shows, that's not the band's fault unless they literally re-do every The Blood Brothers song ever made. That doesn't mean they deserve flack if they have the instrumental skills and the screaming skills to match. Personally, I love their new album suicide season, diamonds aren't forever and it was written in blood are amazing.

and here i go dragging on, ranting...
Ha. It's cool. I was originally gonna be an asshole, but then I was like, "Why be an asshole?"

:-)

I just don't like the style.

[JimmyIymmiJ]

Oh. I learned something new.

Yah. I don't like them. Nothing personal.

Do kids really talk like that these days? I thought I was the only one who had no clue what that meant...

[chelseaxsmilexD]

Do kids really talk like that these days? I thought I was the only one who had no clue what that meant...
sorry, i guess i have a good vocabulary... i'm somewhat known for that...

[chelseaxsmilexD]

Ha. It's cool. I was originally gonna be an asshole, but then I was like, "Why be an asshole?"

:-)

I just don't like the style.
so what do you like...????