Bleeding Inside - Drug addiction... fools.

[SuperWow]

Man.. my lame ass mom couldnt even interpret this. Lmao. Anyways. Tell me what you think :l. Writing is my TRUE passion. And i want to have other people hear and see, what ive poured my heart and soul into. So i am trying out this website. Anyways. Yeah, im new. but. tell me what you think, i suppose. oh yeah. and ITS HUGE. haha :D

Bleeding Inside -

It bought me some time
When i felt sold out
Yet i was still confined
and imprisoned by doubt
I thought if id had enough
id eventually get better
so, the more i fell in love
with what haunted me forever.
Once i felt it in my veins
I felt so alive
Yet i still complained
That I was bleeding inside.
I became insecure, so unsure
if life was worth fighting for.
i wish we could be. Her and I.
then id leave behind this suicide.
Bleeding inside, i tried to cry
But i was just a corpse inside
I did not feel, i did not see.
What this was doing to me.
Bleeding Inside, No sight left to see the stars.
No voice left to make a wish.
No legs left to run too far.
And no hope left for me to quit.
So in despair
And in despite
Of going nowhere.
I tried to make it right.
I dropped to my knees.
and was surrounded by light.
With a man by my side
I heard a voice and it said
its time to stop, bleeding inside.
Now its behind me.
And though i regret
letting it blind me.
now i can be the Man inside me.
The one whose bled, the one who knows.
To not forget. The lord is close.

-Matthew Schriber

[Animalhill]

Man.. my lame ass mom couldnt even interpret this. Lmao. Anyways. Tell me what you think :l. Writing is my TRUE passion. And i want to have other people hear and see, what ive poured my heart and soul into. So i am trying out this website. Anyways. Yeah, im new. but. tell me what you think, i suppose. oh yeah. and ITS HUGE. haha :D

Bleeding Inside -

It bought me some time
When i felt sold out
Yet i was still confined
and imprisoned by doubt
I thought if id had enough
id eventually get better
so, the more i fell in love
with what haunted me forever.
Once i felt it in my veins
I felt so alive
Yet i still complained
That I was bleeding inside.
I became insecure, so unsure
if life was worth fighting for.
i wish we could be. Her and I.
then id leave behind this suicide.
Bleeding inside, i tried to cry
But i was just a corpse inside
I did not feel, i did not see.
What this was doing to me.
Bleeding Inside, No sight left to see the stars.
No voice left to make a wish.
No legs left to run too far.
And no hope left for me to quit.
So in despair
And in despite
Of going nowhere.
I tried to make it right.
I dropped to my knees.
and was surrounded by light.
With a man by my side
I heard a voice and it said
its time to stop, bleeding inside.
Now its behind me.
And though i regret
letting it blind me.
now i can be the Man inside me.
The one whose bled, the one who knows.
To not forget. The lord is close.

-Matthew Schriber
You use forms of "Bleeding" waaaay too many times in this.
I also don't feel like its cohesive at all- what are you trying to say?
It also feels to broad and this makes your legitimate feelings seem over-dramatic.

[thespearkid]

This is really cliche and your form is all over the place. It's very hard to write about this subject matter if you haven't actually be through it. I assume you haven't because you do a not-so-great job of capturing it.

[Animalhill]

This is really cliche and your form is all over the place. It's very hard to right about this subject matter if you haven't actually be through it. I assume you haven't because you do a not-so-great job of capturing it.
I will testify, as an ex-drug addict, this doesn't seem very real at all.
I had no idea it was about that until I read what was above your poem (not a good sign).
There's nothing enlightening about stopping drugs- its a battle and you miss it everyday my friend.

[neverenough]

what do you use?

[Animalhill]

what do you use?
? Are you referring to me and what I used in the past?

[neverenough]

yeah. Don't lie man. you still use it, don't you?

[newtothis]

yeah. Don't lie man. you still use it, don't you?

That is really rude. Stop posting.

[OveriseFan]

yeah. Don't lie man. you still use it, don't you?

Go away, please.

[Animalhill]

yeah. Don't lie man. you still use it, don't you?
...no I don't. I used to be addicted to Speed and Coke and did everything else in between but haven't touched that stuff in a long time. And why are you so fascinated?

[Mike Smith]

I call for a permanent ban of that neverenough chick

She is one of the worst noobs i think i;ve ever seen on here aside from me and a few others when we first started.

She's too personal, her poetry is sup-par and all she does is try to start trouble.

[The Personist]

you can't ban people for being sub-par.

you CAN, however, ban people for being a troll.

[The Personist]

...no I don't. I used to be addicted to Speed and Coke and did everything else in between but haven't touched that stuff in a long time. And why are you so fascinated?

T-t-t-t-trollllllll

That's why.

P.S. Rimbaud.

[Animalhill]

T-t-t-t-trollllllll

That's why.

P.S. Rimbaud.
hahahaha yes. Rimbaud indeed sir.

[Mike Smith]

What exactly does it mean when you call someone a Troll on here? I have seen you use that term a few times but never understood why lol

[The Personist]

What exactly does it mean when you call someone a Troll on here? I have seen you use that term a few times but never understood why lol

They're basically being a douche with the intention of eliciting negative or angry responses.

[Mike Smith]

They're basically being a douche with the intention of eliciting negative or angry responses.

Haha ok i assumed it was something like that

[newtothis]

Haha ok i assumed it was something like that

Yeah. I wasn't sure either :)