Defying the End by Embracing It

[tommy's ghost]

Exiting the futile shelter onto the midnight street,
Stretching yourself out on the black sea of direction.
With your back against the pavement,
the cosmic disintegration is soothing.
Neighbors are milling around,
forming a collosal amoeba of annoyance:
They encapsulate your location,
they engulf your destination,
they encirclulate,
they triangulate
they encompass your finality.
The primoridial pathogen (amoeba) forms just as the end begins;
how disgustingly fitting.
All their inane inner instigation is ineffective:
You wear your soundtrack on your ears.
The soundtrack to the ultimatum.

The calm is almost obscene as a star collides with the black hole,
sending ripples of blue across a generation.
A generation you were never a part of,
only apart from.
The amoeba may have consumed you,
but it would never digest you.
You were evolved, you were different,
you were you.
You didn't require vindication, justification, or definition.
You welcome this end as you did the beginning.
The ethereal flames are nearing the planet.
Your hopes and dreams are in the distance;
as others dive at it with open arms and strained faces,
you wave at it with a criminal calm and a gratitude of graces.
The rabid embassadorial embers devour the Earth.
You are jubilant, you are grateful, you are at peace.

[tommy's ghost]

I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on it.

[The Personist]

The sounds of this overwhelm the audience. You're bludgeoning us with your sonorities and devices to the point of insanity. This sort of poetic masturbation is what I used to do, so I can relate. But I think you should really do some reading and see how other poets do this. As it stands, this is kind of an overdose of a few devices and big words with an attempt to sound poetic.

I think the critique fishingthe_sky gave your earlier piece in this forum still stands as being pertinent.

[tommy's ghost]

The sounds of this overwhelm the audience. You're bludgeoning us with your sonorities and devices to the point of insanity. This sort of poetic masturbation is what I used to do, so I can relate. But I think you should really do some reading and see how other poets do this. As it stands, this is kind of an overdose of a few devices and big words with an attempt to sound poetic.

I think the critique fishingthe_sky gave your earlier piece in this forum still stands as being pertinent.

Thank you. I was actually looking forward to you stopping by for your take on this piece.

Really, thanks for the input