snakes on a plane

[mat1419]

i just heard about this. i don't think i've ever been more excited for a movie in my life.

[fedhed7]

you just heard about it? where have you been?

[last light]

hahah ya where have you been, this was a hot topic last week

[Mercy Medical]

I still can't believe this is an actual movie, I thought you guys were all joking around until I saw the imdb page for it.

[last light]

I still can't believe this is an actual movie, I thought you guys were all joking around until I saw the imdb page for it.

haha same here...its going to be incredible

[Mercy Medical]

haha same here...its going to be incredible
Hollywood is seriously running out of movie ideas. How in the hell are they going to talk this one up?

[fedhed7]

Hollywood is seriously running out of movie ideas. How in the hell are they going to talk this one up?

Samuel L. Jackson.

[Mercy Medical]

Samuel L. Jackson.
Why was Samuel L. Jackson stupid enough to even sign on for this crap? Did he even read the script? Haha, imagine getting that script and reading it. "Boy, this is an amazing, creative and original idea! I'm in!"

[mat1419]

hahah ya where have you been, this was a hot topic last week
i'm still a glorified part timer on AP...i saw it in someone's sig and checked it out. i already told my boss to schedule me off.

[mat1419]

Why was Samuel L. Jackson stupid enough to even sign on for this crap? Did he even read the script? Haha, imagine getting that script and reading it. "Boy, this is an amazing, creative and original idea! I'm in!"
when they tried to change the name, he told them no or he'd walk. the man knows his stuff.

[fedhed7]

when they tried to change the name, he told them no or he'd walk. the man knows his stuff.
what did they want to change it to?

[unwritten]

Damn, even I could think of better movie ideas.

[Mercy Medical]

when they tried to change the name, he told them no or he'd walk. the man knows his stuff.
Are you being serious? Does he want to end his career? Snakes on a Plane has to be the stupidest movie title in the history of movie titles. Haha, except maby Killer Clowns from Outer Space.

[fedhed7]

Damn, even I could think of better movie ideas.

no way. this is brilliant!

/sarcasm

[mat1419]

Are you being serious? Does he want to end his career? Snakes on a Plane has to be the stupidest movie title in the history of movie titles. Haha, except maby Killer Clowns from Outer Space.
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.01/play.html?pg=1

[fedhed7]

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.01/play.html?pg=1
haha, so basically its so bad that it's becoming a cult classic before it even comes out.

[mat1419]

haha, so basically its so bad that it's becoming a cult classic before it even comes out.
this is our Tremors...

[fedhed7]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snakes_on_a_Plane

[DroppedUrPocket]

Hahaha. Yessss.

[fedhed7]

Beaks: One of those films that you’re working on right now is… well, it’s called Pacific Air 121—
Jackson: Snakes on a Plane, man!
Beaks: Exactly.
Jackson: We’re totally changing that back. That’s the only reason I took the job: I read the title.
Beaks: Snakes on a Plane! That’s everything!
Jackson: You either want to see that, or you don’t.
Beaks: And how are those snakes? Besides being on a plane?
Jackson: Some of them are aggressive, some of them are cool. They’re interesting to watch, and interesting to interact with. It depends on what kind of snake it is. One day, it took, like, four guys to bring in this 350 lb. Burmese Python. We were all like, “Where’s that goin’?” And I watched an Albino Cobra strike airplane seats the other day. I watched it from another studio. It’s actually been a fun show. But we’re taking the name back!

[DroppedUrPocket]

See also:

http://www.myspace.com/jennysmidnightscreamatori

Check out Noodles with Teeth.

And also:

http://www.myspace.com/snakesonamothafuckinplane

[mat1419]

At great personal risk, we here at Yankee Fog have obtained an exclusive sneak look at the trailer for the upcoming prestige film Snakes On A Plane. We are pleased to present you, our readers, with a complete and unedited transcript.

VOICE OVER: In a world where snakes can get on a plane...

FADE IN ON: An airline check-in counter. The TICKET LADY is stamping somebody's ticket.

On the other side of the ticket counter is the passenger: a snake. In an effort to look more human, the snake is wearing a false moustache and an old-fashioned bowler hat.

TICKET LADY: Enjoy the flight, Mr...
(CHECKING THE NAME ON THE TICKET) Snakerson.

THE SNAKE: Sssssssss.

VOICE OVER: ... one man is on a plan with snakes.

CUT TO: Samuel L. Jackson, sitting on a plane. The snake is sitting in the chair next to him. Jackson chats away, apparently unaware that his seatmate is a snake.

SAMUEL L JACKSON: Well, all I'm saying is, just because I had a baby with her
doesn't make me a father, you know what I'm saying? I mean, I want to go
to the birthday party, but I've gotta fly to LA and take care of business.

THE SNAKE: Sssss....

The camera pulls back to reveal that every passenger on the plane except Samuel L Jackson is actually a snake . They are wearing a wide variety of disguises--one of them has a fake bushy Hasidic beard and is wearing a prayer shawl. Another has an outrageous afro.

SAMUEL L JACKSON: Hey, you've got something on your moustache there.

He reaches over to brush it off, and the moustache comes off.

SAMUEL L JACKSON: Wait a minute. You're a SNAKE!

VOICE OVER: Now.. that man must warn the world.

CUT TO: Jackson is in the cockpit. The pilot is slumped over, dead. Jackson yells into the radio.

SAMUEL L JACKSON: You've got to listen to me. There are SNAKES... on the
PLANE!

CUT TO: Samuel L Jackson punching a snake. The snake is wearing a pair of jeans.

Jackson finally knocks the snake out. He rummages through the snake's pockets and is shocked by what he finds.

SAMUEL L JACKSON: Oh my God. This snake has a PILOT'S LICENCE!

CUT TO: Samuel L. Jackson is talking on one of those phones they have in the seatbacks of planes. Tears are streaming down his face.

SAMUEL L JACKSON: Listen, sweetie, I know I haven't been the best
father. I'm so sorry. I don't think I'm going to get through this, and I wanted
you to know something: I love you very, very much. Oh, and by the way,
there are motherfucking SNAKES! On the goddamn PLANE!

VOICEOVER: Coming soon: SNAKES ON A PLANE. Because on a plane...
nobody can hear the snakes.

FADE OUT.

[DroppedUrPocket]

Hahaha. On a plane...nobody can hear the snakes.

[preppyak]

this is our Tremors...
I'm already psyched for the straight to DVD forms of Snakes on a Plane 2 and 3

[Andy]

Say "hissss" one more time motherfucker! I dare you!

[mat1419]

I'm already psyched for the straight to DVD forms of Snakes on a Plane 2 and 3
oh don't even toy with me...

[fedhed7]

At great personal risk, we here at Yankee Fog have obtained an exclusive sneak look at the trailer for the upcoming prestige film Snakes On A Plane. We are pleased to present you, our readers, with a complete and unedited transcript.

VOICE OVER: In a world where snakes can get on a plane...

FADE IN ON: An airline check-in counter. The TICKET LADY is stamping somebody's ticket.

On the other side of the ticket counter is the passenger: a snake. In an effort to look more human, the snake is wearing a false moustache and an old-fashioned bowler hat.

TICKET LADY: Enjoy the flight, Mr...
(CHECKING THE NAME ON THE TICKET) Snakerson.

THE SNAKE: Sssssssss.

VOICE OVER: ... one man is on a plan with snakes.

CUT TO: Samuel L. Jackson, sitting on a plane. The snake is sitting in the chair next to him. Jackson chats away, apparently unaware that his seatmate is a snake.

SAMUEL L JACKSON: Well, all I'm saying is, just because I had a baby with her
doesn't make me a father, you know what I'm saying? I mean, I want to go
to the birthday party, but I've gotta fly to LA and take care of business.

THE SNAKE: Sssss....

The camera pulls back to reveal that every passenger on the plane except Samuel L Jackson is actually a snake . They are wearing a wide variety of disguises--one of them has a fake bushy Hasidic beard and is wearing a prayer shawl. Another has an outrageous afro.

SAMUEL L JACKSON: Hey, you've got something on your moustache there.

He reaches over to brush it off, and the moustache comes off.

SAMUEL L JACKSON: Wait a minute. You're a SNAKE!

VOICE OVER: Now.. that man must warn the world.

CUT TO: Jackson is in the cockpit. The pilot is slumped over, dead. Jackson yells into the radio.

SAMUEL L JACKSON: You've got to listen to me. There are SNAKES... on the
PLANE!

CUT TO: Samuel L Jackson punching a snake. The snake is wearing a pair of jeans.

Jackson finally knocks the snake out. He rummages through the snake's pockets and is shocked by what he finds.

SAMUEL L JACKSON: Oh my God. This snake has a PILOT'S LICENCE!

CUT TO: Samuel L. Jackson is talking on one of those phones they have in the seatbacks of planes. Tears are streaming down his face.

SAMUEL L JACKSON: Listen, sweetie, I know I haven't been the best
father. I'm so sorry. I don't think I'm going to get through this, and I wanted
you to know something: I love you very, very much. Oh, and by the way,
there are motherfucking SNAKES! On the goddamn PLANE!

VOICEOVER: Coming soon: SNAKES ON A PLANE. Because on a plane...
nobody can hear the snakes.

FADE OUT.

amazing.

[CROMagnon]

it's safe to say i must see this movie

[Andy]

Kyle is dressing up as a snake and camping out for the premiere.

[DroppedUrPocket]

I say we should all dress up as snakes and then one of us can be a plane.

You can only guess where this is going.

[getupkid53]

this is going to be a great spoof.. come on keenan thompson.. its not going to be serious...

[DroppedUrPocket]

The other thread.

http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=110706

[Mercy Medical]

this is going to be a great spoof.. come on keenan thompson.. its not going to be serious...
That's what I'm starting to wonder if this is a joke movie.

[CROMagnon]

if bruce campbell (evil dead) can pull off the camp factor, so can sam jackson

[boldt_action]

Wow, this thing has become a phenomenon.

[Mercy Medical]

if bruce campbell (evil dead) can pull off the camp factor, so can sam jackson
Evil Dead is golden.

[boldt_action]

You guys think it will be a joke?

[Andy]

-Say snake again. SAY SNAKE AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say snake one more goddamn time!
-He's b-b-black...
-Go on.
-He's long and slippery...
-Does he look like a snake?
-What?
-DOES HE LOOK LIKE A SNAKE?

[DroppedUrPocket]

Hahaha.

THEN WHY'D YOU TRY TO FEED A RAT TO HIM LIKE ONE?

Sorry. I couldn't think of anything else you do to snakes...

[mat1419]

this is going to be one of those movies that is serious, but that's why it's funny

[niveK]

See also:

http://www.myspace.com/snakesonamothafuckinplane

Thanks for the whoring.

At the school I go to this has been an inside joke among the cs majors and cs teachers since the end of last year. He have made a big plan for when this movie comes out. Our school has a pretty big aviation department. We are gonna steal a plane form the campus, fly to the theater, and have a big crate of snakes to open on the way.

[Kif]

Guy with snake next to him: "Uhh, you shouldn't yell, it's freaking out the snake."
Samuel L Jackson: "Bitch I don't yell! Haven't you seen Pulp motherfucking Fiction!?"

[jaimej]

this is going to be one of those movies that is serious, but that's why it's funnyI knew this was going to be one of those times where I remembered why I loved your drunk ass. Haha.

[DroppedUrPocket]

Snakes

On

A

Plane

[A picasso blue]

I still can't believe this is an actual movie, I thought you guys were all joking around until I saw the imdb page for it.
i still have my doubts.

either way, it sounds awesome

[DroppedUrPocket]

http://imagehost.darkernet.co.uk/i/parappa.jpg

[fedhed7]

This movie will be epic. Screw The Godfather. Casablanca sucks. Citizen who? Snakes on a Plane will be studied by film critics for years to come.

[btbam > you]

best movie ever.

[DroppedUrPocket]

It's nominated for ever academy award catergory and wins.

[fedhed7]

It's nominated for ever academy award catergory and wins.

Yep. Best comedy, drama, musical, and foreign film all rolled into one.

[A picasso blue]

This movie will be epic. Screw The Godfather. Casablanca sucks. Citizen who? Snakes on a Plane will be studied by film critics for years to come.
In the wake of the September 11th attacks on America, many films and television shows attempted to confront the growing degree of fear facing our country. "Snakes On a Plane" takes an entirely-new take: it recalls the heroic actions of those brave men and women who fought the highjackers on the flight that crashed in Pennsylvania, as well as introduces important themes of natural wildlife, like snakes.

[Kif]

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/5971/snakesonaplane3vf.jpg

[skaught]

christ, he's already been eaten by a shark.

[FOBcareemo]

this is gonna be fucking amazing

[DroppedUrPocket]

THere should be boobs in this movie. And Sam Jackson banging white chicks.

[mat1419]

we named out kickball team snakes on a plane...this is our 10 and 0 defending champion baltimore city championship team. it's pretty much like the Colts renaming themselves to snakes on a plane.

[crit]

Beaks: One of those films that you’re working on right now is… well, it’s called Pacific Air 121—
Jackson: Snakes on a Plane, man!
Beaks: Exactly.
Jackson: We’re totally changing that back. That’s the only reason I took the job: I read the title.
Beaks: Snakes on a Plane! That’s everything!
Jackson: You either want to see that, or you don’t.
Beaks: And how are those snakes? Besides being on a plane?
Jackson: Some of them are aggressive, some of them are cool. They’re interesting to watch, and interesting to interact with. It depends on what kind of snake it is. One day, it took, like, four guys to bring in this 350 lb. Burmese Python. We were all like, “Where’s that goin’?” And I watched an Albino Cobra strike airplane seats the other day. I watched it from another studio. It’s actually been a fun show. But we’re taking the name back!

you know he said "motherfucker" like nine times in there somehow.

[Darren McLeod]

Snakes

On

A

Plane
I didn't realize the initials spelled SOAP.

That just makes it even better! The tagline can be "Once you buy the DVD, don't drop the SOAP! Muthafucka!"

[DroppedUrPocket]

we named out kickball team snakes on a plane...this is our 10 and 0 defending champion baltimore city championship team. it's pretty much like the Colts renaming themselves to snakes on a plane.
Hahahaha. You are my hero.

[Trainsaw]

blockbuster of the summer for sure

[fedhed7]

You guys like my new avatar?

[DroppedUrPocket]

You guys like my new avatar?
Yes. It is perfect.

[FOBPrettyNPunk]

holy hell is there an acutal trailer for this movie?

[DroppedUrPocket]

No trailer yet.

[boldt_action]

opening night.

im there.

[CROMagnon]

http://www.drunkduck.com/SNAKES_ON_A_PLANE_THE_COMIC/

[CROMagnon]

"Anacondas on land are for pussies. Snakes on a plane!!" (http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/samuel-l-jackson/dudesnakes-on-a-plane-117687.php)

[fedhed7]

snakes on a plane: A simple existential observation that has the same meaning as "Whaddya gonna do?" or "Shit Happens". Taken from the upcoming Samuel L. Jackson movie of the same name, and immortilised by screenwriter Josh Friedman on his blog post of Wednesday, August 17, 2005.
Guy 1: (irate) Dude, you just ran into the back of my SUV!
Guy 2: (calm) Snakes on a plane man. Snakes on a plane.

[fedhed7]

Possible sequels:

Snakes on a Plane 2: Snakes on a Boat

or

Snakes on a Plane 9: Bears on a Train.

[DroppedUrPocket]

www.snakesonablog.com

[preppyak]

Guy 1: (irate) Dude, you just ran into the back of my SUV!
Guy 2: (calm) Snakes on a plane man. Snakes on a plane.[/I]
hahahaha

I like the team name idea, I'm swiping that for my IM dodgeball team

[btbam > you]

You guys like my new avatar?

thats incredible.

[btbam > you]

snakes on a plane: A simple existential observation that has the same meaning as "Whaddya gonna do?" or "Shit Happens". Taken from the upcoming Samuel L. Jackson movie of the same name, and immortilised by screenwriter Josh Friedman on his blog post of Wednesday, August 17, 2005.
Guy 1: (irate) Dude, you just ran into the back of my SUV!
Guy 2: (calm) Snakes on a plane man. Snakes on a plane.

hahahah

[DroppedUrPocket]

I named my dick Snake and my balls Plane.

[btbam > you]

I named my dick Snake and my balls Plane.


i think that might be the funniest thing ive ever read. thank you.

[niveK]

In my java class we had to write an applet that you could draw different colored shapes on. In java the windows are called JOption Panes. So the prof named the assignment 'Shapes on a Pane!'

[DroppedUrPocket]

i think that might be the funniest thing ive ever read. thank you.
;) We should get on some XBL for PDZ shenanigans.

[A picasso blue]

In my java class we had to write an applet that you could draw different colored shapes on. In java the windows are called JOption Panes. So the prof named the assignment 'Shapes on a Pane!'
how long has this "joke' been around?

[niveK]

how long has this "joke' been around?
I think its hitting a year soon.

and it isnt a joke, its a cinematic masterpiece

[fedhed7]

hahahah

Next time Tony goes on a banning spree, we should just calm him down by saying "Snakes on a plane, dude. Snakes on a plane."

[btbam > you]

how do we not know this isnt a comedy...if kenan thompson is in it (even if he isnt funny at all) what makes you think hes actually playing a serious role...i think this is going to be a comedy..but i hope not.


who cares?! snakes on a plane!

[DroppedUrPocket]

how do we not know this isnt a comedy...if kenan thompson is in it (even if he isnt funny at all) what makes you think hes actually playing a serious role...i think this is going to be a comedy..but i hope not.
us.imdb.com

does not lie.

[fedhed7]

how do we not know this isnt a comedy...if kenan thompson is in it (even if he isnt funny at all) what makes you think hes actually playing a serious role...i think this is going to be a comedy..but i hope not.

Genre: Horror (http://www.imdb.com/Sections/Genres/Horror/) / Thriller (http://www.imdb.com/Sections/Genres/Thriller/) / Action (http://www.imdb.com/Sections/Genres/Action/)

[CROMagnon]

how do we not know this isnt a comedy...if kenan thompson is in it (even if he isnt funny at all) what makes you think hes actually playing a serious role...i think this is going to be a comedy..but i hope not.
don't question kenan's acting chops

[The Big Timer]

I just had to get this to the top page again. Snakes on a plane is gonna mutha fucka....snakes on a plane!!!

[mat1419]

can someone make this a sticky plz?

[The Big Timer]

can someone make this a sticky plz?

seriously! at least until after opening weekend....

[duffe]

Possible sequels:

Snakes on a Plane 2: Snakes on a Boat

or

Snakes on a Plane 9: Bears on a Train.
Hahahaha.

[mat1419]

Possible sequels:

Snakes on a Plane 2: Snakes on a Boat

or

Snakes on a Plane 9: Bears on a Train.
possible...but do you think they'd go with the "snakes on a..." part or the "_____ on a plane" part?

if its the latter, we could see, Rats on a Plane, and Spiders on a Plane, and Clowns on a Plane.

[The Big Timer]

possible...but do you think they'd go with the "snakes on a..." part or the "_____ on a plane" part?

if its the latter, we could see, Rats on a Plane, and Spiders on a Plane, and Clowns on a Plane.

"Slugs on a Plane!!!" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

[niveK]

S.o.a.P. 10: Emus in an Elevator

[fedhed7]

S.o.a.P. 10: Emus in an Elevator
Snakes on a Plane 8: Armadillos in an Alleyway

[mat1419]

there's got to be a trailer coming soon right?

[weezer182]

i will actually go see this movie

[fedhed7]

there's got to be a trailer coming soon right?
When it does, I will be very excited.

[boldt_action]

i will actually go see this movie
opening night.

[DroppedUrPocket]

Silverback Gorillas on a Plane.

[mat1419]

opening night.
goddamn right opening night.

thread stealer.

[DroppedUrPocket]

Opening night for the win!

[DroppedUrPocket]

I was reading the posts on imdb about this movie and some guy asked a good question: if and when you are in a theater and the trailer for this movie comes on, will you stand up and applaud when it is finished?
I think that's mandatory...at the least. Hooting and hollaring and high fives and unison jumping is how I will celebrate I believe.

[DroppedUrPocket]

I think this movie will actually allow me to defy the laws of physics.

[mat1419]

I was reading the posts on imdb about this movie and some guy asked a good question: if and when you are in a theater and the trailer for this movie comes on, will you stand up and applaud when it is finished?
i do, then i walk out of the movie. why even watch the movie after you've just seen 5 minutes of snakes on a plane? i'll try again in a week and come in a little late so as not to overshadown the movie completely.

[DroppedUrPocket]

i do, then i walk out of the movie. why even watch the movie after you've just seen 5 minutes of snakes on a plane? i'll try again in a week and come in a little late so as not to overshadown the movie completely.
Hahaha. Good answer.

[ActorInThisPlay]

haha i wanna see a preview for this...standing ovation

[mouood]

Anyone who doesn't stand up and cheer at the sight of Snakes on a Plane deserves to have their ass kicked by Samuel L. Jackson.

[getupkid53]

Anyone who doesn't stand up and cheer at the sight of Snakes on a Plane deserves to have their ass kicked by Samuel L. Jackson.

I heard he will be at every preview and every showing the first week of the movie, solely to kick people's asses that aren't respecting what he has accomplished with those snakes.

[Andy]

If they don't drop rubber snakes from the roof when the show the previews I will sue.

[mouood]

I heard he will be at every preview and every showing the first week of the movie, solely to kick people's asses that aren't respecting what he has accomplished with those snakes.

That wouldn't surprise me. When the movie is released on DVD he should follow people home from Blockbuster and kick the asses of the people who don't respect it and/or shut it off in the middle of the movie.

[somethingyellow]

If they don't drop rubber snakes from the roof when the show the previews I will sue.hahahaha that would be so funny

[Andy]

I would sue under the little known law "Failure to promote best film of all time". It has only been brought up in court once, when a production company failed to drop bowling balls from the roof when screening The Big Lebowski. However, the judge ruled in favor of the production company, saying, and I quote: "The Big Leb is good, but it does lack in the snakes and planes departement".

[Darren McLeod]

My buddies and I are probably going to dress up as snakes too. Or maybe one as a snake, and one as a plane, and then have the snake sit on the shoulders of the plane.

And we'll pull in so much pussy it'll be scary.

[mouood]

I just thought of an idea for a sequel...Snakes on the Space Shuttle. Zero-gravity snakes, zero-gravity Samuel L. Jackson.

[she cant swim!]

if only kel was in it too

[mouood]

if only kel was in it too

I would like to see Kenan and Kel reunite, but not in Snakes On A Plane. It has to be a serious movie in order for it to be amazing.

The plot does sound like it could work for an episode of Kenan and Kel. I can see Kel saying something like "I...put the snakes....on the plane!"

[she cant swim!]

kel

meet me on a plane

over the pacific

with some snakes

[mouood]

kel

meet me on a plane

over the pacific

with some snakes

Aww, here it goes!

[preppyak]

I can see Kel saying something like "I...put the snakes....on the plane!"
hahaha, that image in my mind was hilarious

[aminorthreat55]

we named out kickball team snakes on a plane...this is our 10 and 0 defending champion baltimore city championship team. it's pretty much like the Colts renaming themselves to snakes on a plane.
Hahah city champs.

[aminorthreat55]

Possible sequels:

Snakes on a Plane 2: Snakes on a Boat

or

Snakes on a Plane 9: Bears on a Train.
Hahahaha

[aminorthreat55]

goddamn right opening night.

thread stealer.
Dude we should get drunk and go together.

[mat1419]

Dude we should get drunk and go together.
well, i'm planning on a 12am opening night show, then a daytime matinee, then a primetimer with some booze in tow. i'm down for whatever.

[aminorthreat55]

well, i'm planning on a 12am opening night show, then a daytime matinee, then a primetimer with some booze in tow. i'm down for whatever.
Haha

[DroppedUrPocket]

well, i'm planning on a 12am opening night show, then a daytime matinee, then a primetimer with some booze in tow. i'm down for whatever.
You are a saint.

[niveK]

well, i'm planning on a 12am opening night show, then a daytime matinee, then a primetimer with some booze in tow. i'm down for whatever.

Get blitzed for the midnight show, then try to stay drunk for 24 hours.

[mat1419]

Get blitzed for the midnight show, then try to stay drunk for 24 hours.
nah, i need to make sure i remember the movie. plus i don't want to be peeing the whole time. i'm sure i'll piss myself anyway, but i don't want it to be from alcohol.

[DroppedUrPocket]

Shakes from Disdain.