Double Standards in Relationships

[takemyhand]

Any one have these?

One of my boyfriend's best friend is a girl, so he's always hanging out with her and her little sister and their friends.
I don't care, but it does piss me off that he would freak the fuck out if I hung out with guys -and that bothers me... I confronted him about it and he 'understood' but he still hangs out with these girls and I still know he would honestly be beyond pissed if I was around guys without him. He said "guys don't want to hang out with you to be just friends", I don't get it.

There's more examples like his cell phone. He goes through mine all of the time but I don't go through his.. sometimes I do if he goes through mine I'll just be kidding like "okay well who are you texting then?".

There's more but whatever.

None of this really bothered me until I was on Twitter and one of the girls said "jogging with Dustin" (Dustin being my boyfriend lol) so I tweeted "jogging with (_random guy's name_)" and he started texting me and calling me, like three calls within 1 minute.. and I didn't pick up because this pissed me off. Like.. I don't call and check up on him, and I don't get all freaked. But anyway this caused a fight between us and I get like all these Truthbox messages on Myspace from the girls (obviously) accusing me of making him not have a life outside of me & trying to take away his friends etc. Which is not even why we were fighting but I guess that's what he told them.. which also pisses me off that he goes and tells girls his issues.

Idk, am I stupid?

I just want an equal relationship :|

(btw he has lots of guy friends so it's not like those are his only friends.. I on the other hand don't have many friends, lol).

[Jake Denning]

Sounds like you guys have massive trust issues.

I dunno, I trust my girlfriend, so i'm not too concerned about her cheating on me, she can hang out with whoever she wants.

[takemyhand]

I don't have trust issues.

[Reaver]

sounds like your bf is a self-centered control freak. I'd try to talk to him about what you just told us. if he tries to turn your words back on you or just won't listen... well I'd have a huge problem with that.

and no, you're not stupid.

[Kassie09]

I'd be mad
but i hang out with guys and i would be pissed if my boyfriend hung out with girls like i hang out with boys. so hmm.

[concernedparent]

To be honest, I think your boyfriend hanging out with a bunch of girls is something you should be concerned about outside of just the double standard issue. He said himself that guys don't just want to be the friends of girls, so that shows you that's how he feels about male-female relationships..

[fake empire]

To be fair, these guys you hang out with probably want to fuck you

[Reaver]

To be honest, I think your boyfriend hanging out with a bunch of girls is something you should be concerned about outside of just the double standard issue. He said himself that guys don't just want to be the friends of girls, so that shows you that's how he feels about male-female relationships..

i just realize how true this is. damn.

dump that dick.

[MidCal]

dump that dick.

+1

You don't deserve that treatment.

[SonEric84]

It's unfair to you. If he can hang out with girls then you should be able to hang out with guys. I agree with what Casey said though, it's not a good sign. Also, if your relationship didn't work out, you'd be left with barely anyone to hang out with and he'd still have his friends...so that's just messed up. Usually the one who is most suspicious is the one doing wrong in the relationship because they're capable of it so they expect you would be too. Not only that, but it's a sad attempt to cover their tracks by acting like the "worried" one.

[killerswells]

so you cant hang with dudes, but he is allowed to hang with chicks? dont be naive and let him walk over you. tell him whats up, and how you feel. if he cant handle it, move on. he obviously isnt that intelligent anyway.

[the1]

tbh if my gf was shoving her tits in the camera for a profile picture then I'd probably be a bit untrusting too...

[ascitiesburn101]

Your boyfriend is a doucher

[bladerdude360]

You are getting the shitty end of this deal. Seems like he's is overprotective and is super reactive. I'd dump him.

[bladerdude360]

tbh if my gf was shoving her tits in the camera for a profile picture then I'd probably be a bit untrusting too...
I really don't think that she's "shoving her tits in the camera" - I don't see anything wrong with this picture:shrug:

[takemyhand]

tbh if my gf was shoving her tits in the camera for a profile picture then I'd probably be a bit untrusting too...

I'm not shoving my tits anywhere. I don't even have tits. It's summer, I'm wearing a tank top.. I don't understand. Should I wear a turtle neck ?

[takemyhand]

sounds like your bf is a self-centered control freak. I'd try to talk to him about what you just told us. if he tries to turn your words back on you or just won't listen... well I'd have a huge problem with that.

and no, you're not stupid.

Yeah, I told him about it bothering me.

[Jake Denning]

I really don't think that she's "shoving her tits in the camera" - I don't see anything wrong with this picture:shrug:

mjdN3xd0Rf8&feature=player_embedded

[takemyhand]

I'd be mad
but i hang out with guys and i would be pissed if my boyfriend hung out with girls like i hang out with boys. so hmm.

Haha.
Yeah I try to look at things like that in relationships, like if I do something would i want him to do the same?
He needs to look at things like that haha.

[Bloodsucker II]

To be fair, these guys you hang out with probably want to fuck you

zing!

[the1]

I'm not shoving my tits anywhere. I don't even have tits. It's summer, I'm wearing a tank top.. I don't understand. Should I wear a turtle neck ?

I seriously beg to differ, but w/e.

[.invisible ink.]

To be honest, I think your boyfriend hanging out with a bunch of girls is something you should be concerned about outside of just the double standard issue. He said himself that guys don't just want to be the friends of girls, so that shows you that's how he feels about male-female relationships..

this.

It's unfair to you. If he can hang out with girls then you should be able to hang out with guys. I agree with what Casey said though, it's not a good sign. Also, if your relationship didn't work out, you'd be left with barely anyone to hang out with and he'd still have his friends...so that's just messed up. Usually the one who is most suspicious is the one doing wrong in the relationship because they're capable of it so they expect you would be too. Not only that, but it's a sad attempt to cover their tracks by acting like the "worried" one.

and this.

tbh if my gf was shoving her tits in the camera for a profile picture then I'd probably be a bit untrusting too...

didn't you read her profile while you were busy looking at her tits? She's "shy", isn't that obvious? :-d

[takemyhand]

To be honest, I think your boyfriend hanging out with a bunch of girls is something you should be concerned about outside of just the double standard issue. He said himself that guys don't just want to be the friends of girls, so that shows you that's how he feels about male-female relationships..

Shit, I never looked at it that way

[takemyhand]

I seriously beg to differ, but w/e.

I hate guys like you.

[jawstheme]

To be honest, I think your boyfriend hanging out with a bunch of girls is something you should be concerned about outside of just the double standard issue. He said himself that guys don't just want to be the friends of girls, so that shows you that's how he feels about male-female relationships..

You're living up to your username. Good post.

[1mastalker]

To be fair, these guys you hang out with probably want to fuck you
This is the most truthful thing EVER.:appl:
tbh if my gf was shoving her tits in the camera for a profile picture then I'd probably be a bit untrusting too...
Even though I wouldn't say you were shoving your tits in the camera, I gotta agree with this guy.

[takemyhand]

Okay, I changed my picture.
Because obviously no one has seen a girl before.
I have the smallest tits ever so I have no idea what the fuck was the big deal.
Anyway, I'm more interested on advice concerning my original post, not about my boobs. Thanks.

[1mastalker]

Okay, I changed my picture.
Because obviously no one has seen a girl before.
I have the smallest tits ever so I have no idea what the fuck was the big deal.
Anyway, I'm more interested on advice concerning my original post, not about my boobs. Thanks.
:-(

Seriously though, if he doesn't trust you now he never will. I've seen ALOT of friends try and be more trusting and it never works. They are who they are.

[Reaver]

Okay, I changed my picture.
Because obviously no one has seen a girl before.
I have the smallest tits ever so I have no idea what the fuck was the big deal.
Anyway, I'm more interested on advice concerning my original post, not about my boobs. Thanks.

hahaha, it really was just that one dude who posted that nonsense. though i gotta shake his hand for bringing up your boobs ;)

on topic, well i think everything has been said already.

[takemyhand]

:-(

Seriously though, if he doesn't trust you now he never will. I've seen ALOT of friends try and be more trusting and it never works. They are who they are.

Hah. Yeah. We've been 'together' for more than two years, we dated for like two months then broke up for one month -but we've been in a solid relationship since may or '08.
Like, I wouldn't really mind not hanging out with guys if he didn't hangout with girls.

Like, I just want it to be equal, like it should be.

[fake empire]

Put the boobs picture back up

[takemyhand]

hahaha, it really was just that one dude who posted that nonsense. though i gotta shake his hand for bringing up your boobs ;)

on topic, well i think everything has been said already.

Haha, yeah.

[takemyhand]

Put the boobs picture back up

I don't know what you're talking about.

[fake empire]

Also, I agree that it is unfair, but I also kind of get where he's coming from. If he's been best friends with this girl before you came along, you can't expect him to stop hanging out with her. And if you're starting to hang out with a bunch of new guys now, well I'd probably be jealous in his position too.

[takemyhand]

Also, I agree that it is unfair, but I also kind of get where he's coming from. If he's been best friends with this girl before you came along, you can't expect him to stop hanging out with her. And if you're starting to hang out with a bunch of new guys now, well I'd probably be jealous in his position too.

I'm talking about old friends.

Like.. I had guy friends before I even started talking to my boyfriend.

& I don't want him to stop hanging out with her.. I just want it to be fair.

[fake empire]

I'm talking about old friends.

Like.. I had guy friends before I even started talking to my boyfriend.

& I don't want him to stop hanging out with her.. I just want it to be fair.
Oh I see.. then that's different

[takemyhand]

Oh I see.. then that's different

mhm..

[4N6 science]

Any one have these?

One of my boyfriend's best friend is a girl, so he's always hanging out with her and her little sister and their friends.
I don't care, but it does piss me off that he would freak the fuck out if I hung out with guys -and that bothers me... I confronted him about it and he 'understood' but he still hangs out with these girls and I still know he would honestly be beyond pissed if I was around guys without him. He said "guys don't want to hang out with you to be just friends", I don't get it.

There's more examples like his cell phone. He goes through mine all of the time but I don't go through his.. sometimes I do if he goes through mine I'll just be kidding like "okay well who are you texting then?".

There's more but whatever.

None of this really bothered me until I was on Twitter and one of the girls said "jogging with Dustin" (Dustin being my boyfriend lol) so I tweeted "jogging with (_random guy's name_)" and he started texting me and calling me, like three calls within 1 minute.. and I didn't pick up because this pissed me off. Like.. I don't call and check up on him, and I don't get all freaked. But anyway this caused a fight between us and I get like all these Truthbox messages on Myspace from the girls (obviously) accusing me of making him not have a life outside of me & trying to take away his friends etc. Which is not even why we were fighting but I guess that's what he told them.. which also pisses me off that he goes and tells girls his issues.

Idk, am I stupid?

I just want an equal relationship :|

(btw he has lots of guy friends so it's not like those are his only friends.. I on the other hand don't have many friends, lol).

I've had this happen before. For some reason girls don't believe guys can have girls that are friends without wanting to have sex with them. It is a double standard but not sure what to do about it.

[takemyhand]

I've had this happen before. For some reason girls don't believe guys can have girls that are friends without wanting to have sex with them. It is a double standard but not sure what to do about it.

I don't think he wants to have sex with them, like I'm not worried about losing him to any of his friends.
Just want some trust.

[zion the lion]

This is a giagantic relationship killer. He wont change his behavior no matter how many times you two sit down and have serious talks about it. After a little while of this, you'll become bitter and he'll feed off that and things will become horribly toxic.

By the way, if he's acting this way, theres a huge chance he's cheating...

Trust me, I know this kind of stuff.

[AlexEnglish]

Like, I just want it to be equal, like it should be.


yeah i know how you feel about equality. my girlfriend bitches out any girl who posts on my wall or comments me on any social networking site. im no longer friends with my best friend, who is a girl, all because of my girlfriend. but she finds no problem talking with her ex boyfriend who is in love with her, and usually hangs up on me to talk to him on the phone.

equality fucking blows

[GetWellBoss]

Alright so I'm going to do my best not to rant so here we go...

First off you seem sort of younger(at least compared to me). And while I don't want to minimalize your relationship in any way, so I really hope you dont take it that way. But at least with guys when we are younger 17-22(typically during our first REAL relationship) we tend to have more jealousy than normal because of the territorial instinct we all have(evolution crap). As we get older and learn that you are there for us, then it slowly goes away(never completely though, we just might not show it like we used to). He acts this way because he likes you and is probably terrified that you are going to be with someone else instead of him. With that being said, is it right? No. But it's part of maturity and growth.

Now there is a big difference between this and being controlling. If he is EVER abusive to you, then he's done. If he ever says you cant spend time with others, he's going too far.

EDIT: Also the best thing to do is talk to him about it in a non-confrontative manner. Tell him how it makes you feel, NOT how it upsets you. Reassure him that you are there for him and then ask what you can reasonably do to make him feel better about spending time with your friends. I say reasonable because he can't say "not to spend time with them".

[the1]

Okay, I changed my picture.
Because obviously no one has seen a girl before.
I have the smallest tits ever so I have no idea what the fuck was the big deal.
Anyway, I'm more interested on advice concerning my original post, not about my boobs. Thanks.

lol,
well, props for not being a bitch bout it.

Anyway...to the matter at hand.
It seems like he's just paranoid. And tbh the only thing you can do is play him at his own game. And, if you don't don't anything that would justify untrust-worthiness, he should come around, although he'll probably be a bit pissy at first...

[Reaver]

I've had this happen before. For some reason girls don't believe guys can have girls that are friends without wanting to have sex with them. It is a double standard but not sure what to do about it.

well, either you accept your girl for being like that .. or you don't and be sad or just dump her.

[4N6 science]

I don't think he wants to have sex with them, like I'm not worried about losing him to any of his friends.
Just want some trust.

You want him to trust you. I gotcha, yeah that is pretty shitty, is he a jealous type person?

[4N6 science]

well, either you accept your girl for being like that .. or you don't and be sad or just dump her.

yeah very true.

[takemyhand]

This is a giagantic relationship killer. He wont change his behavior no matter how many times you two sit down and have serious talks about it. After a little while of this, you'll become bitter and he'll feed off that and things will become horribly toxic.

By the way, if he's acting this way, theres a huge chance he's cheating...

Trust me, I know this kind of stuff.

I don't think he's cheating. She has a boyfriend, and they've been dating for years.
I mean he's hanging out with her little sister and her friends sometimes, but they're 14.. that'd be creepy..hahaha

[takemyhand]

Alright so I'm going to do my best not to rant so here we go...

First off you seem sort of younger(at least compared to me). And while I don't want to minimalize your relationship in any way, so I really hope you dont take it that way. But at least with guys when we are younger 17-22(typically during our first REAL relationship) we tend to have more jealousy than normal because of the territorial instinct we all have(evolution crap). As we get older and learn that you are there for us, then it slowly goes away(never completely though, we just might not show it like we used to). He acts this way because he likes you and is probably terrified that you are going to be with someone else instead of him. With that being said, is it right? No. But it's part of maturity and growth.

Now there is a big difference between this and being controlling. If he is EVER abusive to you, then he's done. If he ever says you cant spend time with others, he's going too far.

EDIT: Also the best thing to do is talk to him about it in a non-confrontative manner. Tell him how it makes you feel, NOT how it upsets you. Reassure him that you are there for him and then ask what you can reasonably do to make him feel better about spending time with your friends. I say reasonable because he can't say "not to spend time with them".

Ahh, this really helped.
Yeah, we're both 18. This is his first seriously relationship.
Thanks so much.

[takemyhand]

lol,
well, props for not being a bitch bout it.

Anyway...to the matter at hand.
It seems like he's just paranoid. And tbh the only thing you can do is play him at his own game. And, if you don't don't anything that would justify untrust-worthiness, he should come around, although he'll probably be a bit pissy at first...

lol yeah.
Thanks,

[takemyhand]

You want him to trust you. I gotcha, yeah that is pretty shitty, is he a jealous type person?

He's a very jealous person.

[.invisible ink.]

yeah very true.

don't you dare dump her!

it's called compromise, sometimes you do some things you're not really all that stoked on doing because it makes the person you love happy.

[bladerdude360]

mjdN3xd0Rf8&feature=player_embedded
That video is priceless, I laughed so hard. Also, your I like your usertitle haha.

And to the OP, what good is equality if you both aren't able to do the things you want? Why should you not be able to see your guy friends, and why should he not be able to see his girl friends? It seems to me like you should both trust each other enough to hang out with other people and if you can't do that, there are some problems.

[zion the lion]

I don't think he's cheating. She has a boyfriend, and they've been dating for years.
I mean he's hanging out with her little sister and her friends sometimes, but they're 14.. that'd be creepy..hahaha

I have a shitty way with words, but I was kind of meaning that it usually leads to cheating. But really the whole trust issue is a relationship killer.

I've had creepier, when I was 14, I had a 24 year old interested in me. And when my brother was 13/14 he was dating a 26 year old. I'm not saying your boyfriend is that kind of creep, theres just a lot of creepos out there haha.

[phil19]

ive experienced similar situation but reversed. my gf was hanging out with dudes as friends and then as soon as i went to pub with a girl she was all up in my face about it. it pissed me off.

[bladerdude360]

Also, I think it's hilarious that you seriously went and changed your picture. Like I said, I don't think there was anything wrong with it.

[bladerdude360]

I have a shitty way with words, but I was kind of meaning that it usually leads to cheating. But really the whole trust issue is a relationship killer.

I've had creepier, when I was 14, I had a 24 year old interested in me. And when my brother was 13/14 he was dating a 26 year old. I'm not saying your boyfriend is that kind of creep, theres just a lot of creepos out there haha.
You are seriously fucked up, aren't you?

[4N6 science]

He's a very jealous person.

Ahh well that explains it.

don't you dare dump her!

it's called compromise, sometimes you do some things you're not really all that stoked on doing because it makes the person you love happy.

Don't worry nothing is happening. Don't freak on E lol

[.invisible ink.]

Ahh well that explains it.



Don't worry nothing is happening. Don't freak on E lol

i'm not on e at the moment, what are you talking about? trust me, if i was on e, i'd tell you that i love you and stuff, lol.

[zion the lion]

You are seriously fucked up, aren't you?

What do you mean?

[GetWellBoss]

Ahh, this really helped.
Yeah, we're both 18. This is his first seriously relationship.
Thanks so much.

Well there is tons more too it than that. Actually im typing from work trying not to get caught so that is why it was so short. hahaha.

Also things that will influence his/your behavior is previous dating experience(even if it is like going on just one date). The way you as an individual act(i.e. flirty, shy, etc). Pretty much tons of factors are there.

This is just definitely not something to "end things" over. It just needs to be addressed and together you work through it. THAT is what a relationship is. Will it work out in the end? I have no clue.

Also just another quick note. The thing you did on twitter isnt really going to help things. While it makes you feel better in the short term, in the long term it damages trust and encourages game playing.(Crap now i sound like an old person haha). I guess what I'm saying is be supportative of your relationship not attacking. Same goes for him too.

Feel free to ask me questions and stuff like that. I don't mind answering things. Hell, this is what i want to do with my life eventually(possibly). Good luck with everything too.

[4N6 science]

i'm not on e at the moment, what are you talking about? trust me, if i was on e, i'd tell you that i love you and stuff, lol.

woops I meant to say don't freak out E.

ohh would you know...so it's that easy to make you love me?? :flirt:

[bladerdude360]

What do you mean?

I have a shitty way with words, but I was kind of meaning that it usually leads to cheating. But really the whole trust issue is a relationship killer.

I've had creepier, when I was 14, I had a 24 year old interested in me. And when my brother was 13/14 he was dating a 26 year old. I'm not saying your boyfriend is that kind of creep, theres just a lot of creepos out there haha.

All I'm saying is that that shit's pretty messed up. Also applies to some stuff you've said in previous threads.

[.invisible ink.]

woops I meant to say don't freak out E.

ohh would you know...so it's that easy to make you love me?? :flirt:

no, it would just be the e talking, silly.

[4N6 science]

no, it would just be the e talking, silly.

Eh for however long it lasted you would love me and that would be awesome.

[takemyhand]

I have a shitty way with words, but I was kind of meaning that it usually leads to cheating. But really the whole trust issue is a relationship killer.

I've had creepier, when I was 14, I had a 24 year old interested in me. And when my brother was 13/14 he was dating a 26 year old. I'm not saying your boyfriend is that kind of creep, theres just a lot of creepos out there haha.

Hahaha thanks.

[takemyhand]

Also, I think it's hilarious that you seriously went and changed your picture. Like I said, I don't think there was anything wrong with it.

Well I really wanted advice, not a bunch of boys and girls giving me shit on how I look in my picture. :|

[takemyhand]

Well there is tons more too it than that. Actually im typing from work trying not to get caught so that is why it was so short. hahaha.

Also things that will influence his/your behavior is previous dating experience(even if it is like going on just one date). The way you as an individual act(i.e. flirty, shy, etc). Pretty much tons of factors are there.

This is just definitely not something to "end things" over. It just needs to be addressed and together you work through it. THAT is what a relationship is. Will it work out in the end? I have no clue.

Also just another quick note. The thing you did on twitter isnt really going to help things. While it makes you feel better in the short term, in the long term it damages trust and encourages game playing.(Crap now i sound like an old person haha). I guess what I'm saying is be supportative of your relationship not attacking. Same goes for him too.

Feel free to ask me questions and stuff like that. I don't mind answering things. Hell, this is what i want to do with my life eventually(possibly). Good luck with everything too.

Haha, yeah I don't want to end things, just want to work them out.
Yeah the twitter thing lol.

Thanks again.

[zion the lion]

All I'm saying is that that shit's pretty messed up. Also applies to some stuff you've said in previous threads.

I always thought I was pretty normal really. I mean my brother and his boyfriends arent a reflection of who I am, and I dont think I've ever influenced who he dated. As for me, I cant totally control who likes me, I may manipulate them into intensifying their feelings for me, but I'm not all to in control with who's attracted to me. Besides he was a nice guy, and we never did anything.

[Kassie09]

Did people in this thread really try to say she was shoving her boobs in the camera for the picture? hahahaahahah @ ap.

hahahahahah

[-the_chrEEp-]

no trust = shitty relationship, if he's insecure it's obviously because he feels guilty about something.

[steve187]

Did people in this thread really try to say she was shoving her boobs in the camera for the picture? hahahaahahah @ ap.

hahahahahah
I don't really agree but maybe her myspace picture?

[Kassie09]

I don't really agree but maybe her myspace picture?

I honestly think they were talking about her profile default picture on ap. which brings the lols, it's not like it's angled down her shirt or she is tilting over to give her cleavage, ap is sooo retarded.

[takemyhand]

Such a fucking crime for girls to have boobs.
I hardly even have any, can you even shove a cups in anyone's face?

No.

[steve187]

Such a fucking crime for girls to have boobs.
I hardly even have any, can you even shove a cups in anyone's face?

No.
You could try..and record it.

[bladerdude360]

You could try..and record it.
Lol.

[bladerdude360]

Well I really wanted advice, not a bunch of boys and girls giving me shit on how I look in my picture. :|
I know what you mean, but it's AP haha, you have to expect this kind of stuff. I think you actually have gotten a good amount of real advice so far, though. And hey, look on the bright side, nobody has advised "anal" yet.

[takemyhand]

I know what you mean, but it's AP haha, you have to expect this kind of stuff. I think you actually have gotten a good amount of real advice so far, though. And hey, look on the bright side, nobody has advised "anal" yet.

I know I'm on AP hahaha.
I just forgot I suppose D:

[takemyhand]

You could try..and record it.

I could, but nah.

[fake empire]

I honestly think they were talking about her profile default picture on ap. which brings the lols, it's not like it's angled down her shirt or she is tilting over to give her cleavage, ap is sooo retarded.
Well she changed her picture

[mattmatumbo]

Hahaha, my ex just didn't let me hang with anyone, period! But she didn't hang with anyone but me, so it was just monotonous and boring.

[AndrewIcex]

This thread does bring some good answers, I will sum up what I think in about a sentence.

He is jealous cause he is not interested in who he currently hangs out with, but he thinks you could develop an interest in who you would hang out with.

That makes sense to me, I think it could be true.

[takemyhand]

This thread does bring some good answers, I will sum up what I think in about a sentence.

He is jealous cause he is not interested in who he currently hangs out with, but he thinks you could develop an interest in who you would hang out with.

That makes sense to me, I think it could be true.


Yeahh.
But that's not fair :|

[AndrewIcex]

Yeahh.
But that's not fair :|
Maybe not fair, but this is just something you have to work on with him... cause it is a major masculinity thing to be jealous, its part of our make up.. it is hard to break.

[takemyhand]

Maybe not fair, but this is just something you have to work on with him... cause it is a major masculinity thing to be jealous, its part of our make up.. it is hard to break.

Yeah. I mean I get jealous about him being with girls too, but not enough for it to really bother me.
If that makes sense haha.

[AndrewIcex]

Yeah. I mean I get jealous about him being with girls too, but not enough for it to really bother me.
If that makes sense haha.
It does make sense.. In my current situation, neither me nor my girlfriend have friends of the opposite sex really... it is not really healthy for us either, but cause of our living situation it is also very hard to avoid..

So when we get to a point to where we can have them and hang out and such, I will be okay with her hanging out with them, not entirely alone, but in a friendly setting, definitely.. same goes for what I will do when hanging out with female friends.

[thesafeword]

He's right, guys don't want to hang out with you to be your friend.

Unless they're gay.

[zion the lion]

I'm on the "you shouldnt have changed your picture" team.

[takemyhand]

It does make sense.. In my current situation, neither me nor my girlfriend have friends of the opposite sex really... it is not really healthy for us either, but cause of our living situation it is also very hard to avoid..

So when we get to a point to where we can have them and hang out and such, I will be okay with her hanging out with them, not entirely alone, but in a friendly setting, definitely.. same goes for what I will do when hanging out with female friends.

Yeah haha, this makes sense

[takemyhand]

He's right, guys don't want to hang out with you to be your friend.

Unless they're gay.

Okay, so he's a guy.. why's he hanging with them?

[thesafeword]

Okay, so he's a guy.. why's he hanging with them?
Wait, what?

[AndrewIcex]

Yeah haha, this makes sense
Relationships come with a lot of shit like this... sometimes though.. it never gets easy cause there are people who want to homewreck your shit, it sucks.

[takemyhand]

Relationships come with a lot of shit like this... sometimes though.. it never gets easy cause there are people who want to homewreck your shit, it sucks.

Yeah, my last relationship went to shit because of other people.

[takemyhand]

He's right, guys don't want to hang out with you to be your friend.

Unless they're gay.

I took this as guys don't hang out with girls to be friends.

So he's hanging out with girls why?

[AndrewIcex]

Yeah, my last relationship went to shit because of other people.
It happens way too often... its either the morals and essential trust issues that people lack.. or something, but relationships can be tough with all these people stepping in the way.. the grass is not always greener on the other side.. even though people make it out to be.

[takemyhand]

I'm on the "you shouldnt have changed your picture" team.

I liked the other one better too, this one is like a year old haha.

[zion the lion]

I liked the other one better too, this one is like a year old haha.

There was nothing wrong with the first one, the dude was just making a big deal out of nothing.

[takemyhand]

There was nothing wrong with the first one, the dude was just making a big deal out of nothing.

Yeah, I've seen worse haha.
Girls just have boobs, haha.

[zion the lion]

Yeah, I've seen worse haha.
Girls just have boobs, haha.

Its all we're good for...the boobs and taking pictures with boobs haha.
I used to have that problem though, because I cant really hold a camera and take a self shot picture normally, I have to kind of go with the fatty angle shot, which means the ta-tas look like theyre out to say hello, no matter what.

[phil19]

Yeah, I've seen worse haha.
Girls just have boobs, haha.

Its all we're good for...the boobs and taking pictures with boobs haha.
I used to have that problem though, because I cant really hold a camera and take a self shot picture normally, I have to kind of go with the fatty angle shot, which means the ta-tas look like theyre out to say hello, no matter what.

pretty much

[takemyhand]

Its all we're good for...the boobs and taking pictures with boobs haha.
I used to have that problem though, because I cant really hold a camera and take a self shot picture normally, I have to kind of go with the fatty angle shot, which means the ta-tas look like theyre out to say hello, no matter what.

Haha yeah, I have a friend who has like. .the biggest boobs I've ever seen. I feel bad because she gets shit about all her pictures and crap, because her boobs are like OH HAI THERE all the time lol.

But really haha my boobs in that big I didn't even think were a big deal, I wasn't even wearing a pushup bra that day, lmao.

[takemyhand]

pretty much

Hey! That's a good one!!!11~!

[AndrewIcex]

Okay... so this thread went from relationship badness to boobs? All over some picture?

[zion the lion]

Haha yeah, I have a friend who has like. .the biggest boobs I've ever seen. I feel bad because she gets shit about all her pictures and crap, because her boobs are like OH HAI THERE all the time lol.

But really haha my boobs in that big I didn't even think were a big deal, I wasn't even wearing a pushup bra that day, lmao.

Yeah its why I kind of stopped taking pictures for a while. I dont think I've taken since last march, so a year I guess. It wouldnt be too bad if I knew how to hold a camera normally, but whatever haha.

They were pretty much normal, I dont think anyone would have made a big deal out of it if they saw you walking around in public.

[phil19]

Hey! That's a good one!!!11~!

not sure if thats sarcastic or not, but, i liked it

[takemyhand]

It happens way too often... its either the morals and essential trust issues that people lack.. or something, but relationships can be tough with all these people stepping in the way.. the grass is not always greener on the other side.. even though people make it out to be.

Yeah haha, I feel bad how everyone in my family and most of my friends hated my ex; and that was a huge factor that lead to our break-up. I mean I'm happy that I moved on and found my current boyfriend. But I just feel bad :|

[takemyhand]

Yeah its why I kind of stopped taking pictures for a while. I dont think I've taken since last march, so a year I guess. It wouldnt be too bad if I knew how to hold a camera normally, but whatever haha.

They were pretty much normal, I dont think anyone would have made a big deal out of it if they saw you walking around in public.

Yeah hahaha

[AndrewIcex]

Yeah haha, I feel bad how everyone in my family and most of my friends hated my ex; and that was a huge factor that lead to our break-up. I mean I'm happy that I moved on and found my current boyfriend. But I just feel bad :|
Totally understand, I have had that kinda shit in my relationship, and I will not let it tear us apart... but I swear it, homewreckers are EVERYWHERE, its hard to avoid them.

[phil19]

Yeah haha, I feel bad how everyone in my family and most of my friends hated my ex; and that was a huge factor that lead to our break-up. I mean I'm happy that I moved on and found my current boyfriend. But I just feel bad :|

Totally understand, I have had that kinda shit in my relationship, and I will not let it tear us apart... but I swear it, homewreckers are EVERYWHERE, its hard to avoid them.

i hate this also. been with my girl for three eyars now and my folks still seem to hate her. my ma always makes sly comments and derogatory innuendos. it makes things hard sometimes. and it makes me angry!

[takemyhand]

Totally understand, I have had that kinda shit in my relationship, and I will not let it tear us apart... but I swear it, homewreckers are EVERYWHERE, its hard to avoid them.

Yeah, I wish people could butt out haha.

[AndrewIcex]

i hate this also. been with my girl for three eyars now and my folks still seem to hate her. my ma always makes sly comments and derogatory innuendos. it makes things hard sometimes. and it makes me angry!
Parents are the tough ones to impress, life's a bitch when it comes to that.

Yeah, I wish people could butt out haha.
Exactly, if only if only.

[phil19]

Parents are the tough ones to impress, life's a bitch when it comes to that.


Exactly, if only if only.

i dont care if they dont like her, but it shits me that they still make these lil comments. its like she's my gf and i love her and been with her 3 years, she aint going anywhere, get the fuck over it, be happy for me and welcome her.

[AndrewIcex]

i dont care if they dont like her, but it shits me that they still make these lil comments. its like she's my gf and i love her and been with her 3 years, she aint going anywhere, get the fuck over it, be happy for me and welcome her.
I agree, I definitely agree, my parents love my girl, so I don't quite have that problem, thank god.

[phil19]

I agree, I definitely agree, my parents love my girl, so I don't quite have that problem, thank god.

thats great to hear. makes life so much easier.
my folks love my bro's gf and she's a pretentious know it all. go figure

[zion the lion]

i dont care if they dont like her, but it shits me that they still make these lil comments. its like she's my gf and i love her and been with her 3 years, she aint going anywhere, get the fuck over it, be happy for me and welcome her.

My mom hated my ex boyfriend (one of them at least) but that was mainly because of the way she found out about him. And my other ex boyfriend's friends hated me, for some ridiculous reasons if you ask me. I hope it all works out for you though.

[AndrewIcex]

thats great to hear. makes life so much easier.
my folks love my bro's gf and she's a pretentious know it all. go figure
It happens, if she goes no where, they will have no other choice than to like her, just stick it out dude, it will come.

[AndrewIcex]

I am going to bed guys, goodnight!

Take care, be safe!

[phil19]

My mom hated my ex boyfriend (one of them at least) but that was mainly because of the way she found out about him. And my other ex boyfriend's friends hated me, for some ridiculous reasons if you ask me. I hope it all works out for you though.

why'd they hate you?
thanks

It happens, if she goes no where, they will have no other choice than to like her, just stick it out dude, it will come.

yeah thats what i tell myself. hope it does. thanks man

[zion the lion]

why'd they hate you?
thanks



yeah thats what i tell myself. hope it does. thanks man

They were slightly racist, and they hated the fact that I "gave him the ability to love". They did everything they could to destroy that relationship, but they hated me before they even met me.

[phil19]

They were slightly racist, and they hated the fact that I "gave him the ability to love". They did everything they could to destroy that relationship, but they hated me before they even met me.

slightly racist? mofos. who doesnt like eskimos? :-p
my mate has a girlfriend who we all hate. its good times

[Cheshire_Buddha]

Did someone say boobs?

[zion the lion]

slightly racist? mofos. who doesnt like eskimos? :-p
my mate has a girlfriend who we all hate. its good times

Haha eskimo, thats exactly what I am. They werent the type that hated all black people or anything, they just didnt want races mixing or whatever which was ridiculous.
Then you really dont have any reason to be mad at the fact that your family doesnt like your girlfriend.

[phil19]

Haha eskimo, thats exactly what I am. They werent the type that hated all black people or anything, they just didnt want races mixing or whatever which was ridiculous.
Then you really dont have any reason to be mad at the fact that your family doesnt like your girlfriend.

i hate peeps like that. makes me so angry! i cant stand it.
no, my mates gf is a real gold digging bitch with an annoying kid who's digging her claws into my mate. she's very unlikeable, always sulking when she doesnt get her way, stops my mate from hanging out with us, makes my mate cut off his friendship with a girl who he's been close to for years and years all because she is too insecure because she's a fucking ugly bushpig.

[Jake Denning]

a cups


Learn something new? Check.

[takemyhand]

Learn something new? Check.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[RunInTheFront]

To be fair, these guys you hang out with probably want to fuck you

:clap:

Pretty much this.

[zion the lion]

i hate peeps like that. makes me so angry! i cant stand it.
no, my mates gf is a real gold digging bitch with an annoying kid who's digging her claws into my mate. she's very unlikeable, always sulking when she doesnt get her way, stops my mate from hanging out with us, makes my mate cut off his friendship with a girl who he's been close to for years and years all because she is too insecure because she's a fucking ugly bushpig.

They made my relationship hell, they didnt want him being with me at all because of that tiny little thing. They were worried we were going to have kids and pollute the gene pool or something...because clearly we are the first people to date like that.
I have no idea what a bushpig is but ok. I kind of get that, I would hate any of my friend's significant others if they were only with them for money and were controlling like that. If I had a boyfriend, I wouldnt stop him from hanging out with his friends like that.

[phil19]

They made my relationship hell, they didnt want him being with me at all because of that tiny little thing. They were worried we were going to have kids and pollute the gene pool or something...because clearly we are the first people to date like that.
I have no idea what a bushpig is but ok. I kind of get that, I would hate any of my friend's significant others if they were only with them for money and were controlling like that. If I had a boyfriend, I wouldnt stop him from hanging out with his friends like that.

im in a bi-racial relationship so all that stuff pisses me off so bad. fucking ignorant arseholes!
oh haha, she's just a waste of space. ive tried being nice to her and get squat back. i told her she wa sa fucking bitch and all that and she just goes whinging to my mate and so our relationship got strained so now i cant say shit. but yeah, its not the way to go. i hate girls like that.

[zion the lion]

im in a bi-racial relationship so all that stuff pisses me off so bad. fucking ignorant arseholes!
oh haha, she's just a waste of space. ive tried being nice to her and get squat back. i told her she wa sa fucking bitch and all that and she just goes whinging to my mate and so our relationship got strained so now i cant say shit. but yeah, its not the way to go. i hate girls like that.

All the people I know who are in bi-racial relationships end up with gorgeous babies...which is a good thing, everybody should love those kinds of relationships! I've never dated inside my race so everybody in my family really accepts it which is nice.
Well no wonder you hate her. I would hate her too haha.

[Jake Denning]

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

whoops, taken the wrong way I guess.

I just sorta thought it was impolite to ask a girl what size her boobs were. And you sorta informally told the world, so ehhhhhhh, free life lesson?

[takemyhand]

whoops, taken the wrong way I guess.

I just sorta thought it was impolite to ask a girl what size her boobs were. And you sorta informally told the world, so ehhhhhhh, free life lesson?

uhhhhhh, pretty sure it's easy to tell the size of someone's boobs, it's not something you can really hide lol.

[Jake Denning]

uhhhhhh, pretty sure it's easy to tell the size of someone's boobs, it's not something you can really hide lol.

Ehhhhhhhhh, its not like you can go and be all like "yeahhhhh hun, those are definitely C's"

You just dont do that.

[concernedparent]

I'm glad you guys all liked my input here, haha. But honestly, I would not trust this guy. I don't. In fact, I'd bet serious money that if he's not already hooking up with one of those girls, he's trying to. His philosophy on male-female relationships is a giveaway.

[takemyhand]

Ehhhhhhhhh, its not like you can go and be all like "yeahhhhh hun, those are definitely C's"

You just dont do that.

Yeah you can, lmao.

[takemyhand]

I'm glad you guys all liked my input here, haha. But honestly, I would not trust this guy. I don't. In fact, I'd bet serious money that if he's not already hooking up with one of those girls, he's trying to. His philosophy on male-female relationships is a giveaway.

I don't think he's actually hooking up with them, haha.
But, I think confronting him about his take on male-female relationships would get my point across.

[phil19]

All the people I know who are in bi-racial relationships end up with gorgeous babies...which is a good thing, everybody should love those kinds of relationships! I've never dated inside my race so everybody in my family really accepts it which is nice.
Well no wonder you hate her. I would hate her too haha.

yeah exactly. mixed race babies always look good! and white people are so boring :-p
hahaha yeah, join the bandwagon! theres room for everyone

[Jake Denning]

Yeah you can, lmao.


Eh, I guess so

I thought I couldnt watch The Notebook, and that happened.

[takemyhand]

Eh, I guess so

I thought I couldnt watch The Notebook, and that happened.

Did you cry?

[takemyhand]

Btw, to be on topic -
my boyfriend like, sells fish and chips at random festivals during the summer with his family (lol)...
and he's working with his best girl friend & her sister.. he didn't even tell me, I found out via myspace bulletin from one of the girls. Shouldn't he have at least mentioned it? Idk, I feel like he should have?

lol, not really bothered by it, just curious.

[takemyhand]

oh, a littttle jealous that I won't see him for six days and they'll be with him all the time :| hahaha.

[bigblue2015]

It's all about trust, and it's something you can only gain by being with someone for a while. You say this is your boyfriend's first serious relationship, so he obviously hasn't experienced a real trust-based relationship yet. You should just give it some time and eventually he'll come around. If not, then he has deeper issues and maybe he's not the best person for you. My girlfriend has plenty of guy friends that she hangs out with on a normal basis, and she doesn't mind one bit if I go to a concert or something with some of my girl friends for a band she doesn't listen to. But we only got to this point by learning to trust each other and by knowing that the other is not going to cheat.

[Jake Denning]

Did you cry?

Almost.

Butttttttt I ended up balling up and not.

[takemyhand]

Almost.

Butttttttt I ended up balling up and not.

I never cried while watching it! lol.
I always thought it had a happy ending.

But I did cry while watching Superbad :|

[Reaver]

oh, a littttle jealous that I won't see him for six days and they'll be with him all the time :| hahaha.

why do i get the feeling that you overplay your deep sadness a lot?

[takemyhand]

why do i get the feeling that you overplay your deep sadness a lot?

lolwut?

[Mibabalou]

wow this guyis just walking all over you

10 pages in 3 days wow

[Jake Denning]

I never cried while watching it! lol.
I always thought it had a happy ending.

But I did cry while watching Superbad :|

Well, it was like near the end when she had all the dementia issues and it was just tearing the dude up.

and then at the end I was "You guys had BETTER not be dead" and sure enough, credits rolled.

Eh.

Only movie that has ever made me cry ever? Fox and the Hound. Real talk.

[takemyhand]

Well, it was like near the end when she had all the dementia issues and it was just tearing the dude up.

and then at the end I was "You guys had BETTER not be dead" and sure enough, credits rolled.

Eh.

Only movie that has ever made me cry ever? Fox and the Hound. Real talk.

Hahhahaha, have you ever seen My Girl?
I never cried so much while watching a movieee.

[Jake Denning]

Hahhahaha, have you ever seen My Girl?
I never cried so much while watching a movieee.


Thats the Culkin film where he gets stung by bees and dies right?


Dunno, any ideas for movies to watch with my girlfriend so she gets really emotional and gushy?

[takemyhand]

Thats the Culkin film where he gets stung by bees and dies right?


Dunno, any ideas for movies to watch with my girlfriend so she gets really emotional and gushy?

Yeaah that's the saddest movie ever!

hmm, other sad ones would be Beaches, Finding Neverland, A Walk To Remember, P.S. I Love You, My Dog Skip.
Hahaha I can probably think of more.

Wristcutters is a really cute to watch with your girlfriend haha. I watched it with my boyfriend and I thought it was cute.

[steve187]

Yeaah that's the saddest movie ever!

hmm, other sad ones would be Beaches, Finding Neverland, A Walk To Remember, P.S. I Love You, My Dog Skip.
Hahaha I can probably think of more.

Wristcutters is a really cute to watch with your girlfriend haha. I watched it with my boyfriend and I thought it was cute.
Beaches always gets to me :-(

[SlappedActor]

I have an ex-girlfriend who was the queen of double standards. I'm so glad she's out of my life.

[ohLOOKitsLEAH]

Sounds like you guys have massive trust issues.


It sounds like her boyfriend's the one with trust issues, not her.
To the OP:
I think that you should just try talking to him. Tell him exactly what you wrote here, and explain to him that you want to be able to hang out with your guy friends without him worrying. I'm not trying to seem like I want you to rude or anything, because you should try not to be, but I just think that if your relationship is worth staying in, he'll respect what you have to say and maybe develop more trust. Does that make sense?
I hope so.
I just think that if you can't talk to your boyfriend about these things, he's not worth being with.
Good luck!
:)

[takemyhand]

So, last night I sort of told him everything and came close to breaking up, I probably went a little far.. but I think he gets the point now.

[GetWellBoss]

So, last night I sort of told him everything and came close to breaking up, I probably went a little far.. but I think he gets the point now.

ughhhhhhh. you dont ever listen do you? :-P

[takemyhand]

ughhhhhhh. you dont ever listen do you? :-P

I gotta keep him on his toessss.

[AndrewIcex]

Now its a waiting game.

[jagermeister]

This sounds like the jealous type and the obsessive type. Its 2009 so men and women should have some equal rights and privileges in a relationship.

Perhaps he is having trust/obsessive issues because he has done something to you or someone else in the past which could viod the trust he had expected?

[GetWellBoss]

I gotta keep him on his toessss.

yes. but that will cause issues in the long run.

i'm just trying to help girrrrrrl.

[takemyhand]

yes. but that will cause issues in the long run.

i'm just trying to help girrrrrrl.

I know I'm just kidding.
I feel bad, I made a mistake.
But, I think I got it through to him..like what was bothering me, haha probably wasn't the best way to do it though lol.

[takemyhand]

This sounds like the jealous type and the obsessive type. Its 2009 so men and women should have some equal rights and privileges in a relationship.

Perhaps he is having trust/obsessive issues because he has done something to you or someone else in the past which could viod the trust he had expected?

Haha, I know he has trust issues and I know why.
I just need him to get through it.
I mean I can handle it I guess, it just bothers me sometimes.

[7dollarsox.com]

Dear Original Poster:


THIS IS WHY THERE IS A DOUBLE STANDARD.

XMiyg87UhL4

[DRUMMERGIRL121]

I have a question related to this topic:
Why is it that guys like to look at girls in skimpy clothes, but freak out if their girlfriend were to wear something too revealing?
Seems like a double standard to me...

[Reaver]

I have a question related to this topic:
Why is it that guys like to look at girls in skimpy clothes, but freak out if their girlfriend were to wear something too revealing?
Seems like a double standard to me...

isn't that obvious? i don't want my gf to shove her tits in everyones' face, because i don't want other guys to stare at her. but, of course, if i see some nice tits around, why not take a peek? haha.

[Kassie09]

I have a question related to this topic:
Why is it that guys like to look at girls in skimpy clothes, but freak out if their girlfriend were to wear something too revealing?
Seems like a double standard to me...

It does seem like a double standard however I don't think a guy wants to be dating a girl who looks like a slut but if he sees a girl wearing like, no clothes, he's going to look at her.

[framebyframe]

You look a really pretty girl. You could do so much better. He sounds like a dick. Most of my friends are guys, so if my boyfriend didn't want me hanging out with them, I would have no one to hang out with.

[jagermeister]

Haha, I know he has trust issues and I know why.
I just need him to get through it.
I mean I can handle it I guess, it just bothers me sometimes.

From my experience, people with trust issues really aren't worth it in the end. I went through a similar situation during a 3-year relationship. She always went to the city to party and drink mostly with guys and I was fine with it. However if I wanted to hangout with a girl she would lose her shit. She even lost her shit on me AFTER we broke up and I spent one night hanging out with a friend.

People are fucked up and the ones who play games (in my opinion) don't deserve someone in their life who is willing to be legitimate. You love your boyfriend, I know - but you're cute and seem to have a level head based on some of the things I've seen ya post - you may one day want to find someone else who isn't playing games or tripping out over the smallest things.

This was kind of long, and again... just my opinion because I think what I went through sounds very very similar to what you're going through yourself!

[bigblue2015]

I have a question related to this topic:
Why is it that guys like to look at girls in skimpy clothes, but freak out if their girlfriend were to wear something too revealing?
Seems like a double standard to me...


Well nobody actually wants to get into a car accident, but if you're passing one on the side of the highway, you're still gonna look, right?


terrible analogy

[DRUMMERGIRL121]

Well nobody actually wants to get into a car accident, but if you're passing one on the side of the highway, you're still gonna look, right?


terrible analogy

It made me chuckle. Is that bad?

[takemyhand]

From my experience, people with trust issues really aren't worth it in the end. I went through a similar situation during a 3-year relationship. She always went to the city to party and drink mostly with guys and I was fine with it. However if I wanted to hangout with a girl she would lose her shit. She even lost her shit on me AFTER we broke up and I spent one night hanging out with a friend.

People are fucked up and the ones who play games (in my opinion) don't deserve someone in their life who is willing to be legitimate. You love your boyfriend, I know - but you're cute and seem to have a level head based on some of the things I've seen ya post - you may one day want to find someone else who isn't playing games or tripping out over the smallest things.

This was kind of long, and again... just my opinion because I think what I went through sounds very very similar to what you're going through yourself!

lol, thanks for your input sir.

[takemyhand]

You look a really pretty girl. You could do so much better. He sounds like a dick. Most of my friends are guys, so if my boyfriend didn't want me hanging out with them, I would have no one to hang out with.

lol, thanks. I don't think he's really much of a dick. Hahaha, but you know.

[Jake Denning]

lol, thanks for your input sir.

I forgot to tell you that your not being demanding or whatever, I dunno, my girlfriend and I have two ground rules:

A) Talk everyday atleast once (My rule)
B) Be open and honest and trusting about EVERYTHING (her rule)

We both agreed, it works pretty well.

[takemyhand]

I forgot to tell you that your not being demanding or whatever, I dunno, my girlfriend and I have two ground rules:

A) Talk everyday atleast once (My rule)
B) Be open and honest and trusting about EVERYTHING (her rule)

We both agreed, it works pretty well.

haha those are good rules

[framebyframe]

lol, thanks. I don't think he's really much of a dick. Hahaha, but you know.

Hahah okay maybe not a dick, but still that's pretty ridic

[Saves The Night]

It does seem like a double standard however I don't think a guy wants to be dating a girl who looks like a slut but if he sees a girl wearing like, no clothes, he's going to look at her.this sounds about right.

[Richard Maxim]

he probably had something happen to him in the past, he just doesn't want to get hurt. as much as i'd hate to admit it those guys you hang out with are probably around you cause they think your hot or want to hook up. i guarantee you they most likely have no actual interest in you as just a friend unless your ugly which I'm guessing your not. I love my girlfriend and am always thinking she is up to something i wouldn't like just because to her she thinks it's perfectly fine but i have this philosiphy that if she were to ever actually act out on those desires than she really never liked me to begin with and i don't want anything to do with her in that case anyways.

p.s. i would still cry my eyes out....

[takemyhand]

HI I HAVE A PROBLEM.

Okay, like I said I do not care if he hangs out with other girls, that's not the issue at all.

But he texts me exactly this "rotfl ew but it was just me and tim in the tub because I got there late."
The I go on myspace and one of the girls posts a bulletin saying her and her sister are hot tubing with my boyfriend.

WHY IS HE FUCKING LYING TO ME*!#^@*$^@*$&^@*&$^@

I'm so pissed off, like I haven't seen him in almost a week, and he can't even like tell the truth about something that's not a fucking big deal?!

It hurts, what the fuck.

/rant.


I don't know what to do.

:'( :'(

[takemyhand]

COME ON I HAVE NO FRIENDS TO ASK FOR ADVICE!
I don't know what to do ):

[redsand62]

date me instead.

[nlo13]

HI I HAVE A PROBLEM.

Okay, like I said I do not care if he hangs out with other girls, that's not the issue at all.

But he texts me exactly this "rotfl ew but it was just me and tim in the tub because I got there late."
The I go on myspace and one of the girls posts a bulletin saying her and her sister are hot tubing with my boyfriend.

WHY IS HE FUCKING LYING TO ME*!#^@*$^@*$&^@*&$^@

I'm so pissed off, like I haven't seen him in almost a week, and he can't even like tell the truth about something that's not a fucking big deal?!

It hurts, what the fuck.

/rant.


I don't know what to do.

:'( :'(

If he can't tell the truth about something that "isn't a big deal", then chances are, in actuallity, it's a big deal.

It would be one thing if you were that overly jealous girlfriend that hates hates hates seeing him with other girls; then it would make sense that he would tell you a white lie over something like that.

But as you have said to us and I'm sure you've said to him as well, you don't mind that he hangs out with other girls. So there would be no reason for him to lie over something small lke that. He's cheating on you. Dump him.

[takemyhand]

If he can't tell the truth about something that "isn't a big deal", then chances are, in actuallity, it's a big deal.

It would be one thing if you were that overly jealous girlfriend that hates hates hates seeing him with other girls; then it would make sense that he would tell you a white lie over something like that.

But as you have said to us and I'm sure you've said to him as well, you don't mind that he hangs out with other girls. So there would be no reason for him to lie over something small lke that. He's cheating on you. Dump him.

I'm still feeling that he isn't cheating on me, but I mean who knows right?
If he has to lie about something so small :/

I think I'm going to take a break with him, so he can figure it out.

I don't know, this sucks.

[takemyhand]

date me instead.

lol

[Jake Denning]

HI I HAVE A PROBLEM.

Okay, like I said I do not care if he hangs out with other girls, that's not the issue at all.

But he texts me exactly this "rotfl ew but it was just me and tim in the tub because I got there late."
The I go on myspace and one of the girls posts a bulletin saying her and her sister are hot tubing with my boyfriend.

WHY IS HE FUCKING LYING TO ME*!#^@*$^@*$&^@*&$^@

I'm so pissed off, like I haven't seen him in almost a week, and he can't even like tell the truth about something that's not a fucking big deal?!

It hurts, what the fuck.

/rant.


I don't know what to do.

:'( :'(

Alright, here's what I think should happen

1) CALMLY asking him why he likes you and what specific qualities he likes. For instance, I love my baby's blonde roots and the way she misspells words when she tries flirting with me, and so many things. Most of all, I appreciate her patience with me.

2) Calmly demand that 100% honesty be between you and him or else its done.

I dunno, if you still have a need for me, PM me.

[EliteCombine]

I respect the fact that you are asking for advice instead of going off at him.
I know I would.
But seriously, if he is lying about something like that, the chances are that something's going on or he lied so he 'didn't upset you'.
That's pretty low though, especially after that discussion you and him had earlier, you should bring it up with him again and definately get your opinion across, or maybe a break is a good idea like you said.

[Skillen]

You clearly know its bs, so really its on you. Does it bother you enough? Nobody else can help you on this one.

[takemyhand]

You clearly know its bs, so really its on you. Does it bother you enough? Nobody else can help you on this one.

lol.

[takemyhand]

I respect the fact that you are asking for advice instead of going off at him.
I know I would.
But seriously, if he is lying about something like that, the chances are that something's going on or he lied so he 'didn't upset you'.
That's pretty low though, especially after that discussion you and him had earlier, you should bring it up with him again and definately get your opinion across, or maybe a break is a good idea like you said.

yeah, we're taking a break.

[bigblue2015]

Any guy who starts off a text with "rotfl ew" is sketchy at best.

[Animalhill]

yeah, we're taking a break.
Most likely a good idea.

[kemichels]

Most likely a good idea.

Seconded. Sounds like things are way insane between you two right now. If he's lying about small shit, then it obviously builds up to bigger things. However, in regards to the hot tub thing...maybe it was just your bf and some guy right then and the other girls joined in after. Or maybe they just posted that because they knew it would irk you (I know you say you dont mind him hanging out with girls, but I mean him hanging out with them and you not knowing about it. )

If you have a worry or concern about some girl or some situation, regardless of whether your boyfriend thinks it's stupid or not, or unwarranted, he should still be respectful enough to answer your questions and your concerns, as long as you're within reason. If he's immediately getting angry or continuing the same behavior you are so anxious of, he's really not respecting you.

[Animalhill]

Seconded. Sounds like things are way insane between you two right now. If he's lying about small shit, then it obviously builds up to bigger things. However, in regards to the hot tub thing...maybe it was just your bf and some guy right then and the other girls joined in after. Or maybe they just posted that because they knew it would irk you (I know you say you dont mind him hanging out with girls, but I mean him hanging out with them and you not knowing about it. )

If you have a worry or concern about some girl or some situation, regardless of whether your boyfriend thinks it's stupid or not, or unwarranted, he should still be respectful enough to answer your questions and your concerns, as long as you're within reason. If he's immediately getting angry or continuing the same behavior you are so anxious of, he's really not respecting you.
And most definitely hiding something. Trust me.

[kemichels]

And most definitely hiding something. Trust me.

Sounds about right.

btw I still love you even though we haven't talked in like 2 weeks. We need to take over the work thread with crushing box stories again.

[Animalhill]

Sounds about right.

btw I still love you even though we haven't talked in like 2 weeks. We need to take over the work thread with crushing box stories again.
haha I know dude! The work thread let me down today. Swells and Derek were nowhere to be found.

[takemyhand]

Any guy who starts off a text with "rotfl ew" is sketchy at best.

hahahahahaha, it was a reply to one of my texts

[thesafeword]

hahahahahaha, it was a reply to one of my texts
I don't believe you.

[takemyhand]

I don't believe you.

hahahahahhaha. You're right, That's actually how he says hello.

[AndrewIcex]

Any updates on the situation? I have not really read through much of the thread as of late?

[GetWellBoss]

yeah, we're taking a break.

i mean this in the nicest most sincere way possible(tough love i guess would be the term).

move on. it's done. once a break happens, relationships are never the same. EVER. can they work out later? of course they can. but they are never the same as if you started dating someone and stay with them for your life.

trust me on this one. im old. i know stupid shit like this.

[zion the lion]

He's cheating. Dont get back with him, not at all.

I've been screwed over enough to know that.

[takemyhand]

i mean this in the nicest most sincere way possible(tough love i guess would be the term).

move on. it's done. once a break happens, relationships are never the same. EVER. can they work out later? of course they can. but they are never the same as if you started dating someone and stay with them for your life.

trust me on this one. im old. i know stupid shit like this.

Actually me and him dated for a month last year, and took a month break... I mean things happened that I wish didn't but we did actually get stronger and dated for 14 months. Probably sounds like it didn't help since we're on a break now, but it did make us stronger -I mean 14 months is a long time. And I do love him, and this hurts :/

I still see myself with him, but like, I just don't want him to think he can just keep lying to me.. or hide things from me.

[takemyhand]

He's cheating. Dont get back with him, not at all.

I've been screwed over enough to know that.

I don't think he's cheating on me.. we've been through cheating, and I know he wouldn't.

lol, I realize that I probably sound like I'm just trying to convince myself that he's not cheating.. but i just know that he isn't.

[zion the lion]

I don't think he's cheating on me.. we've been through cheating, and I know he wouldn't.

lol, I realize that I probably sound like I'm just trying to convince myself that he's not cheating.. but i just know that he isn't.

ehh I'm just cynical in general, plus from what you said, it seemed like he was cheating.

[GetWellBoss]

Actually me and him dated for a month last year, and took a month break... I mean things happened that I wish didn't but we did actually get stronger and dated for 14 months. Probably sounds like it didn't help since we're on a break now, but it did make us stronger -I mean 14 months is a long time. And I do love him, and this hurts :/

I still see myself with him, but like, I just don't want him to think he can just keep lying to me.. or hide things from me.

it's ok. i thought the same thing when i was your age. but i learned. as i said, it's not impossible for it to work out, but it's highly unlikely. So my best advice to you is to move on. Plus you could meet someone that doesnt have the same trust issues that he has.

[takemyhand]

it's ok. i thought the same thing when i was your age. but i learned. as i said, it's not impossible for it to work out, but it's highly unlikely. So my best advice to you is to move on. Plus you could meet someone that doesnt have the same trust issues that he has.

Yeah :/

Hard when everything reminds me of him.

Waaaaah we won cutest couple when we graduated and everything, haha.

This is so lame.

Like even if he was really doing nothing wrong (which I do believe), he was still lying, and hiding things from me.. so, it's his fault.

:-'(

[takemyhand]

ehh I'm just cynical in general, plus from what you said, it seemed like he was cheating.

Yeah, I don't think he was trying to intentionally make it seem like he was cheating.. but he really did make it seem that way.

[zion the lion]

Yeah, I don't think he was trying to intentionally make it seem like he was cheating.. but he really did make it seem that way.

Maybe he wants to break up with you? I mean I know a lot of guys who will do things like that just to get their girlfriends wives to leave them because they dont want to feel like a jerk for dumping the girl.

[GetWellBoss]

Maybe he wants to break up with you? I mean I know a lot of guys who will do things like that just to get their girlfriends wives to leave them because they dont want to feel like a jerk for dumping the girl.

true. i think it's more of the "grass is always greener on the other side" scenario. Pretty much he/or anyone thinks it's better to try something else because they think it will be better, even though what they have is really the best they ever will. something guys learn as they get older and have a few relationships.

[takemyhand]

Maybe he wants to break up with you? I mean I know a lot of guys who will do things like that just to get their girlfriends wives to leave them because they dont want to feel like a jerk for dumping the girl.

I don't think so.. he's taking this break thing really bad.

:/

[takemyhand]

true. i think it's more of the "grass is always greener on the other side" scenario. Pretty much he/or anyone thinks it's better to try something else because they think it will be better, even though what they have is really the best they ever will. something guys learn as they get older and have a few relationships.

I mean maybe, I am his first serious girlfriend.
But again, he's taking this break really badly.

[GetWellBoss]

I mean maybe, I am his first serious girlfriend.
But again, he's taking this break really badly.

everyone does. it's a break up.

[caress me down]

I fucking HATE when my boyfriend smokes but I still smoke. Whoops

[thesafeword]

hahahahahhaha. You're right, That's actually how he says hello.
I knew it!

[nlo13]

I don't think he's cheating on me.. we've been through cheating, and I know he wouldn't.

I'm really not trying to be a dick. at all. i'm trying to help you. but do you honestly hear how naive that sounds?

[Jake Denning]

I dunno, im in a odd mood, so I say give him another shot. Say that he has to be honest no matter how upset it would make you.

[DecayedBeauty]

Double standards is the reason why me and my last relationship brokeup, we useually would do well obeying eachothers rules and little shit that nags us. But after i walked down a boardwalk with one of his good guy friends for like 50 feet to get fried oreo's he flipped out? i told him i wanted a break and ended up hanging out with most of his friends the whole week and this really bugged the shit out of him !? he then went and exchanged nudies with his horsey ex.

I think if any guy thinks he isnt measured up to be dateing a girl whom he looks like he shouldnt be dateing they become anal as hell thinking they are going to get cheated on? absolutely blows my mind :slutkiss:

[takemyhand]

Well, I think I really broke up with him last night.
He kept telling me there was another guy, that's why I wanted a break.. which is not true, and why would he even think that?
He's the only person -besides family and my one best friend *who is a girl* that I've even been allowed to talk to the past year.. because he doesn't let me talk to other people. This was over IM, and then I said something about him forgetting our 14 month on the 1st, and then he said 'HA Fuck you'. So I said 'Bye'. Then he Myspace messaged me a long thing about he was sorry for saying that, and I said 'I said bye' and then he said 'I love you' and I said 'B Y E'. lol... we're like kids.

But, anyway.
I think I'm done.

[danielineffigy]

Sounds to me like he's quite controlling and inconsiderate, but panics whenever he thinks he's going to lose you.

[SonEric84]

Well, I think I really broke up with him last night.
He kept telling me there was another guy, that's why I wanted a break.. which is not true, and why would he even think that?
He's the only person -besides family and my one best friend *who is a girl* that I've even been allowed to talk to the past year.. because he doesn't let me talk to other people. This was over IM, and then I said something about him forgetting our 14 month on the 1st, and then he said 'HA Fuck you'. So I said 'Bye'. Then he Myspace messaged me a long thing about he was sorry for saying that, and I said 'I said bye' and then he said 'I love you' and I said 'B Y E'. lol... we're like kids.

But, anyway.
I think I'm done.



Just the fact that he could say "fuck you" to you is messed up. Don't worry, you'll find better.

[GetWellBoss]

Well, I think I really broke up with him last night.
He kept telling me there was another guy, that's why I wanted a break.. which is not true, and why would he even think that?
He's the only person -besides family and my one best friend *who is a girl* that I've even been allowed to talk to the past year.. because he doesn't let me talk to other people. This was over IM, and then I said something about him forgetting our 14 month on the 1st, and then he said 'HA Fuck you'. So I said 'Bye'. Then he Myspace messaged me a long thing about he was sorry for saying that, and I said 'I said bye' and then he said 'I love you' and I said 'B Y E'. lol... we're like kids.

But, anyway.
I think I'm done.

That is called projection(in the psych world). And it is typically one of the first defense mechanisms(other than denial) that people who are cheating use. They pretty much accuse you so you are on the defensive instead of you actually accusing the.

Either way, good riddance.

[takemyhand]

We're officially, nooot together D:!

[GetWellBoss]

We're officially, nooot together D:!

good.

[PlacesToGo]

seriously feel bad for girls, i would not be able to handle ridiculous double standards. apologizes for sexism ladies.

[bung]

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/061006/i-hate-voting.gif

[takemyhand]

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/061006/i-hate-voting.gif

lol!