Masturbation - The official thread

[The_Blackout94]

Lets hear it for masturbation!

This is the official thread where you talk about anything related - funny experiences, techniques, anything really, wheather you male or female.

Right lets talk...

[The Pharmacist]

there's already four threads on this topic......

[Reaver]

so what? i need much more sex than my gf, so I masturbate. nothing bad about it.

[thespearkid]

there's already four threads on this topic......
It surprises me that there aren't more.

[The Pharmacist]

It surprises me that there aren't more.

haha yeah when i searched for it i thought i would have came upon (no pun intended) like 20 or so

[thespearkid]

haha yeah when i searched for it i thought i would have came upon (no pun intended) like 20 or so
My search yielded 49 threads and 34 blog entries. :-| Who knew a forum full of teenagers would have such an ingrained interest in masturbation?

[The Pharmacist]

My search yielded 49 threads and 34 blog entries. :-| Who knew a forum full of teenagers would have such an ingrained interest in masturbation?


hmm i guess my computer wanted to protect me. gotta love my Dell

[thespearkid]

hmm i guess my computer wanted to protect me. gotta love my Dell
I've got a Dell as well. Piece of shit.

[The Pharmacist]

I've got a Dell as well. Piece of shit.

yeah i know so happy when i get a new laptop from my college

[thespearkid]

yeah i know so happy when i get a new laptop from my college
My Dell is my college laptop hahaha.

[The Pharmacist]

My Dell is my college laptop hahaha.


ouch. your college hates you

[jco3]

I think I do it too much...

[AJ F]

I think I do it too much...

No such thing

[thespearkid]

ouch. your college hates you
It wouldn't surprise me.

I think I do it too much...
No such thing, brah.

[Reaver]

I think I do it too much...

like 7 times a day? some dude here complained about penis problems, because he did it like that.

[The Pharmacist]

It wouldn't surprise me.


No such thing, brah.



awww. where do you go?

[thespearkid]

awww. where do you go?
A tiny, private school full of rich, white conservatives. I got about a hundred grand worth of scholarship money to go there though. Full ride. /sick brag.

[The Pharmacist]

A tiny, private school full of rich, white conservatives. I got about a hundred grand worth of scholarship money to go there though. Full ride. /sick brag.

oh ho i thought my ten grand scholarship was something to brag about. That's very nice sir, very nice

[thespearkid]

oh ho i thought my ten grand scholarship was something to brag about. That's very nice sir, very nice
Ten grand is still a pretty sick brag, especially since colleges typically give chicks less money. Where are you going?

[The Pharmacist]

Ten grand is still a pretty sick brag, especially since colleges typically give chicks less money. Where are you going?


haah do they really give chicks less money? thats crazy. i'm going to st johns which is a private roman catholic school and i'm hindu so this should be fun.

[thespearkid]

haah do they really give chicks less money? thats crazy. i'm going to st johns which is a private roman catholic school and i'm hindu so this should be fun.
Yeah, minorities and males get more scholarship money. I'm both so affirmative action is my best friend. Hopefully, your school doesn't try to intertwine religion into the curriculum like mine does. I'm a Christian but being taught about the Bible by a biology teacher did not appeal to me.

[The Pharmacist]

Yeah, minorities and males get more scholarship money. I'm both so affirmative action is my best friend. Hopefully, your school doesn't try to intertwine religion into the curriculum like mine does. I'm a Christian but being taught about the Bible by a biology teacher did not appeal to me.


haha 7:30 class- Christianity through the ages. SCORE!

[thespearkid]

haha 7:30 class- Christianity through the ages. SCORE!
hahaha! Why would they put that class at 7:30 anyway? It's not the kind of class I'd be thrilled to take first thing in the morning.

[The Pharmacist]

hahaha! Why would they put that class at 7:30 anyway? It's not the kind of class I'd be thrilled to take first thing in the morning.

i left a message to my adviser person begging to get it changed

[jco3]

No such thing

No such thing, brah.

like 7 times a day? some dude here complained about penis problems, because he did it like that.

Haha, I did see the thread about the dude wacking it around 7 times a day, funny stuff. I only do it once or twice a day, but this is like everyday for the past few years. I know this seems minimal compared to other stories I've heard, but since being prescribed Zoloft I have to go for at least 30 minutes, and sometimes even up to an hour of pure wackage.

I just feel like my dick is becoming a burden to carry around.

[thespearkid]

i left a message to my adviser person begging to get it changed
Luckily, you have a choice in the matter. I had to take my psuedo-religion class.

[The Pharmacist]

Luckily, you have a choice in the matter. I had to take my psuedo-religion class.

i have no idea if i can change it but i'm afraid they're gonna try to convert me or chase me with pitchforks when they realize i don't really believe in god.
there are crosses in the cafeteria. jesus is always watching!!

[thespearkid]

Haha, I did see the thread about the dude wacking it around 7 times a day, funny stuff. I only do it once or twice a day, but this is like everyday for the past few years. I know this seems minimal compared to other stories I've heard, but since being prescribed Zoloft I have to go for at least 30 minutes, and sometimes even up to an hour of pure wackage.

I just feel like my dick is becoming a burden to carry around.
I used to do it a ton before I was hit by my depressive episode. The depression and anti-depressants pretty much killed any semblance of sex drive I had for about five months.

[thespearkid]

i have no idea if i can change it but i'm afraid they're gonna try to convert me or chase me with pitchforks when they realize i don't really believe in god.
there are crosses in the cafeteria. jesus is always watching!!
Odds are, He works in administration.

Edit: What if Jesus is your adviser?!

[The Pharmacist]

Odds are, He works in administration.

Edit: What if Jesus is your adviser?!


oh Rama, Krishna and Vishnu!!!

Edit: what if God was one of us?

[anomaly519]

How the fuck did a threat about masturbation turn into a discussion about school and Jesus?

[thespearkid]

oh Rama, Krishna and Vishnu!!!

Edit: what if God was one of us?
You should totally say that on the first day haha. Drop your pen and just be like, "Krishna damnit!"

Edit: I typically avoid strangers on buses so I certainly hope He's not.

How the fuck did a threat about masturbation turn into a discussion about school and Jesus?
It's a thread-jack, bitch. Rep yo' clique.

[The Pharmacist]

How the fuck did a threat about masturbation turn into a discussion about school and Jesus?


you know how we do

[The Pharmacist]

You should totally say that on the first day haha. Drop your pen and just be like, "Krishna damnit!"

Edit: I typically avoid strangers on buses so I certainly hope He's not.


It's a thread-jack, bitch. Rep yo' clique.


oh man so doing that. if i wanna really freak em out i'll drop the A bomb- Allah!
i'm freaking that i'm gonna get fundy roommates who pray every night and shit.

[thespearkid]

oh man so doing that. if i wanna really freak em out i'll drop the A bomb- Allah!
i'm freaking that i'm gonna get fundy roommates who pray every night and shit.
I know a girl at my school who refuses to room with a non-Christian and the school told her there was no way they could guarantee her a Christian roommate so she's going to pay $7000 extra to get a single.

[The Pharmacist]

I know a girl at my school who refuses to room with a non-Christian and the school told her there was no way they could guarantee her a Christian roommate so she's going to pay $7000 extra to get a single.

:jawdrop: ummm yeah thats what i'm afraid of!

and my college triples so there are two chances that i'm gonna get a fundy. pray for me!

[thespearkid]

:jawdrop: ummm yeah thats what i'm afraid of!

and my college triples so there are two chances that i'm gonna get a fundy. pray for me!
"Dear God, please let my new Hindu friend not have to room with someone who loves You in a "more than just a friend" kind of way. In Christ's name, amen."

Done and done.

[The Pharmacist]

"Dear God, please let my new Hindu friend not have to room with someone who loves You in a "more than just a friend" kind of way. In Christ's name, amen."

Done and done.


haha thank you my minority friend!
oh man if only more schools offered pharmacy i wouldn't be in this mess.
why did i have to choose such a brown profession?

[thespearkid]

haha thank you my minority friend!
oh man if only more schools offered pharmacy i wouldn't be in this mess.
why did i have to choose such a brown profession?
I suppose it was either that or run a convenience store. :D It's like how I had to choose between being a drug dealer or an English teacher (yup, those are the only choices for black men).

[The Pharmacist]

I suppose it was either that or run a convenience store. :D It's like how I had to choose between being a drug dealer or an English teacher (yup, those are the only choices for black men).


...um and football/basketball player or rapper.....lol
i should fuck up the system and become an actress lol

[thespearkid]

...um and football/basketball player or rapper.....lol
i should fuck up the system and become an actress lol
How could I forget sports and music? Damnit. I want to be Kanye West when I grow up.
Do it! Rage against the machine, yo.

[The Pharmacist]

How could I forget sports and music? Damnit. I want to be Kanye West when I grow up.
Do it! Rage against the machine, yo.


I wanna be M.I.A when i grow up, even if she is Sri Lankin.

[thespearkid]

I wanna be M.I.A when i grow up, even if she is Sri Lankin.
Rumor has it, she flies like paper and gets high like planes.

[The Pharmacist]

Rumor has it, she flies like paper and gets high like planes.


dude! and if you catch her at the border she has visas in her name. she's a professional

[thespearkid]

dude! and if you catch her at the border she has visas in her name. she's a professional

Ha. Amy Winehouse couldn't play some festival because she couldn't get a visa so they got M.I.A. to take her place and I was like... why doesn't M.I.A. just make Amy Winehouse a fake one? Guess she only talks a big game. If you become her, make sure you keep it real.

[the1]

So.....masturbation, eh??

[The Pharmacist]

Ha. Amy Winehouse couldn't play some festival because she couldn't get a visa so they got M.I.A. to take her place and I was like... why doesn't M.I.A. just make Amy Winehouse a fake one? Guess she only talks a big game. If you become her, make sure you keep it real.


Don't be fooled by the rocks that i got
Im still
Im still
Browny from the block

[thespearkid]

Don't be fooled by the rocks that i got
Im still
Im still
Browny from the block
Do it for the streets.

[The Pharmacist]

Do it for the streets.

i represent man! i've seen the struggle, i've heard the protest. i know what they want and i will sing about it, make millions and move the LA and party with the stars and forget the town i was from like a true artist!

[thespearkid]

i represent man! i've seen the struggle, i've heard the protest. i know what they want and i will sing about it, make millions and move the LA and party with the stars and forget the town i was from like a true artist!
You'll be the biggest sellout since this guy:

http://i20.tinypic.com/2v16qmb.jpg

became this guy:

http://www.mtv.com/content/style/winter2005a/images/flipbooks/trl_guestbook/2007/74430384.jpg

[The Pharmacist]

You'll be the biggest sellout since this guy:

http://i20.tinypic.com/2v16qmb.jpg

became this guy:

http://www.mtv.com/content/style/winter2005a/images/flipbooks/trl_guestbook/2007/74430384.jpg


I WANT A MIDTOWN REUNION!!!!!!!! lolz

[The Pharmacist]

dude gabe is like 30 but still has baby face. wtf he's not a real man

[thespearkid]

So.....masturbation, eh??
This epic thread-jack turns me on so much, I might have to relieve myself later. Count it.

dude gabe is like 30 but still has baby face. wtf he's not a real man
Same with Weezer's guitar player. He looks exactly like he did in 1994.

[The Pharmacist]

So.....masturbation, eh??

i agree with spear-kid
talking about gabe saporta really gets me wet

[thespearkid]

He's a guilty pleasure for a reason.

[The Pharmacist]

soo dreammyyy. the fact that he can't grow a full beard really turns me on

[thespearkid]

20 bucks says he doesn't have pubes.

[The Pharmacist]

30 that he doesn't shave more than once a week

[The Pharmacist]

You'll be the biggest sellout since this guy:

http://i20.tinypic.com/2v16qmb.jpg

became this guy:

http://www.mtv.com/content/style/winter2005a/images/flipbooks/trl_guestbook/2007/74430384.jpg

the chick in the picture looks like if shakira and topanga had a kid

[thespearkid]

40 says he'll record a crunkcore album for 40 dollars.

[thespearkid]

the chick in the picture looks like if shakira and topanga had a kid
hahaha. A kid with a thing for coke.

[The Pharmacist]

50 that he'll take nudes ala pete wentz to make his band more popular and cause this thread to really jump from all the scene girls getting off

[The Pharmacist]

hahaha. A kid with a thing for coke.

and scene boys

[thespearkid]

Brace for the next three pages being nothing but people with 'X' in their user name saying, "I came". You mentioned Gabe Saporta naked. It's now an inevitability.

[thespearkid]

and scene boys
What she's doing is practically child molestation. She should be arrested.

[The Pharmacist]

Brace for the next three pages being nothing but people with 'X' in their user name saying, "I came". You mentioned Gabe Saporta naked. It's now an inevitability.


i'm bracing. only thing that would be worse was if it was a jonas brother

[The Pharmacist]

What she's doing is practically child molestation. She should be arrested.

she's probably dead from the coke or the emo disease..it's very deadly

[thespearkid]

i'm bracing. only thing that would be worse was if it was a jonas brother
Are you trying to make the poor 14 year-old girls lurking this thread die from excessive orgasming? Gabe and the Jo Bros can't coincide the same thread. Too much sexy.

she's probably dead from the coke or the emo disease..it's very deadly
I'm putting my money an overdose of neon colored cocaine. Trendy as fuck.

[The Pharmacist]

Are you trying to make the poor 14 year-old girls lurking this thread die from excessive orgasming? Gabe and the Jo Bros can't coincide the same thread. Too much sexy.


I'm putting my money an overdose of neon colored cocaine. Trendy as fuck.


oh i want all of those fuckers to die. ZAC EFRON, SHIA LABEOUF, CHRIS BROWN,

AND GOD DAMN TRENDS

[thespearkid]

oh i want all of those fuckers to die. ZAC EFRON, SHIA LABEOUF, CHRIS BROWN,

AND GOD DAMN TRENDS
I came.

[The Pharmacist]

I came.


YOU'RE A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL!!!
LIARRRR. I though we were friends. you prayed for me! we've had a 30 post back to back conversation!
how could you!

EDIT: Krishna, dammit!

[The Pharmacist]

Haha, I did see the thread about the dude wacking it around 7 times a day, funny stuff. I only do it once or twice a day, but this is like everyday for the past few years. I know this seems minimal compared to other stories I've heard, but since being prescribed Zoloft I have to go for at least 30 minutes, and sometimes even up to an hour of pure wackage.

I just feel like my dick is becoming a burden to carry around.


maybe you just need a gf....

dont hate me

[thespearkid]

YOU'RE A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL!!!
LIARRRR. I though we were friends. you prayed for me! we've had a 30 post back to back conversation!
how could you!

EDIT: Krishna, dammit!
(This is the part of the show where there's a slow motion montage recalling the past years of our friendship.)

To be fair, I didn't even know I was a 14 year-old girl but as soon as I read Zac Effron, I couldn't help my hidden desires.

[jco3]

maybe you just need a gf....

dont hate me

No it's cool. I'm right there with ya. I indeed do need a girlfriend. Me and my penis are lonely.

[The Pharmacist]

(This is the part of the show where there's a slow motion montage recalling the past years of our friendship.)

To be fair, I didn't even know I was a 14 year-old girl but as soon as I read Zac Effron, I couldn't help my hidden desires.


maybe you're just gay...lol

[The Pharmacist]

No it's cool. I'm right there with ya. I indeed do need a girlfriend. Me and my penis are lonely.

:(

EDIT: stop jacking off and go find one!! everyone needs love

[jco3]

:(

Just another lonely cock. This very well could be what I title my memoir.

[The Pharmacist]

Just another lonely cock. This very well could be what I title my memoir.


i'd read it

[thespearkid]

maybe you're just gay...lol
Or bi. My sex drive is too overactive to be discriminatory. rawr.

Just another lonely cock. This very well could be what I title my memoir.
hahaha. I'd definitely find a place for it on my bookshelf.

[The Pharmacist]

Or bi. My sex drive is too overactive to be discriminatory. rawr.


hahaha. I'd definitely find a place for it on my bookshelf.


you speak dinosaur?!?!? :jawdrop:

[whataclush]

Tool IS my masturbation...

[The Pharmacist]

Tool IS my masturbation...

in soviet russia you masturbate tool!!!

[thespearkid]

you speak dinosaur?!?!? :jawdrop:
It's my native language.

Tool IS my masturbation...
My masturbation is a tool. Also, I'm a tool who masturbates.

[The Pharmacist]

It's my native language.


My masturbation is a tool. Also, I'm a tool who masturbates.

also masturbation thinks you're a tool

[thespearkid]

also masturbation thinks you're a tool
Probably because I ignore it more than I used to. Oh, masturbation. How needy you can be.

[The Pharmacist]

Probably because I ignore it more than I used to. Oh, masturbation. How needy you can be.

masturbation should really be renamed saran wrap

[thespearkid]

masturbation should really be renamed saran wrap
sounds a lot less appealing.

[The Pharmacist]

sounds a lot less appealing.


like broccoli?

[thespearkid]

like broccoli?
What's the opposite of an orgasm? Because I just had one.

[The Pharmacist]

What's the opposite of an orgasm? Because I just had one.


dunno, normal?

[thespearkid]

dunno, normal?
Well I just had a normal, probably the biggest of my life.

[The Pharmacist]

Well I just had a normal, probably the biggest of my life.

ZAC EFRON!

[ascitiesburn101]

This a thread for masturbation, I have to say that handjobs are one of the most boring things on earth. Bitches don't know how to do it.

:shake:

[Reaver]

this isn't about handjobs, it is about masturbation. but i have to agree, it never works when my gf tries to jack me off. even if I'm just about to come. lol.

[thespearkid]

ZAC EFRON!
http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2008/12/AndySambergJizz.jpg

This a thread for masturbation, I have to say that handjobs are one of the most boring things on earth. Bitches don't know how to do it.

:shake:
I can agree to this.

[The Pharmacist]

This a thread for masturbation, I have to say that handjobs are one of the most boring things on earth. Bitches don't know how to do it.

:shake:


language young man language. be classy use the word whore

[The Pharmacist]

[quote=thespearkid;47379572]http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2008/12/AndySambergJizz.jpg

:tao:

[intensified]

Haha, I did see the thread about the dude wacking it around 7 times a day, funny stuff. I only do it once or twice a day, but this is like everyday for the past few years. I know this seems minimal compared to other stories I've heard, but since being prescribed Zoloft I have to go for at least 30 minutes, and sometimes even up to an hour of pure wackage.

I just feel like my dick is becoming a burden to carry around.

Mmm. Hey, baby.

On topic: Masturbation is fantastic. Beat my record of five times in one day and you should be kosher. Of course, that's just my pass time. I was home alone all day and had nothing better to do. Oh, the intriguing life of the American teenager.

[muttley]

This masturbation thread has like, 4 pages of conversation that have nothing to do with choking the chicken.

Mmm. Hey, baby.

On topic: Masturbation is fantastic. Beat my record of five times in one day and you should be kosher. Of course, that's just my pass time. I was home alone all day and had nothing better to do. Oh, the intriguing life of the American teenager.

Holy shit...

[intensified]

This masturbation thread has like, 4 pages of conversation that have nothing to do with choking the chicken.



Holy shit...

Truth. I'm a horny devil.

[muttley]

Truth. I'm a horny devil.

Well, you came to the right thread.

No pun intended... again.

[intensified]

Well, you came to the right thread.

No pun intended... again.

I believe I have.

Is five times in one day a little drastic?

[muttley]

I believe I have.

Is five times in one day a little drastic?

Possibly. You're probably right about it being a record though.

[princesschad]

This thread officially killed my boner.

[intensified]

Possibly. You're probably right about it being a record though.

It was a good day though. I felt I accomplished a lot.

[muttley]

It was a good day though. I felt I accomplished a lot.

Haha. That's all that matters!

[intensified]

Haha. That's all that matters!

Indeed.

Might you have a record you wish to share? Haha.

[Illuminate]

Indeed.

Might you have a record you wish to share? Haha.

Wanna shoot for six

[intensified]

Wanna shoot for six

Damn you.

[Illuminate]

Damn you.

;-)

[muttley]

Indeed.

Might you have a record you wish to share? Haha.

Maybe twice in one day.
That's nothing compared to 5 though haha.

[intensified]

;-)

I now hate you.

Maybe twice in one day.
That's nothing compared to 5 though haha.

Oh, pshaw. You should go for three or four next time. Haha.

[muttley]

I now hate you.



Oh, pshaw. You should go for three or four next time. Haha.

Ha. I'll think about it.

[Charles777]

http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/17000/Pickle-Tickle-card-17154.jpg

[4N6 science]

:jackoff: !

[thespearkid]

This masturbation thread has like, 4 pages of conversation that have nothing to do with choking the chicken.

I figured I'd show you young cats the classic PL art of threadjacking.

[Charles777]

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/144/326671729_591661724e.jpg

[OdeToTheSun]

Truth. I'm a horny devil.
Did not know that about you. Not that it's a bad thing at all though, haha.

[muttley]

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/144/326671729_591661724e.jpg

That reminds me of some truck I saw that said "Best buns in town."
Not as funny, but still funny.

[Luckee12]

Mmm. Hey, baby.

On topic: Masturbation is fantastic. Beat my record of five times in one day and you should be kosher. Of course, that's just my pass time. I was home alone all day and had nothing better to do. Oh, the intriguing life of the American teenager.
Lol now youre slutting yourself out on the internet...lol thats so fucking trashy, what a confidence booster eh? im impressed leah really

[bigblue2015]

Oh boy.

[TakeItToManHat]

Mmm. Hey, baby.

On topic: Masturbation is fantastic. Beat my record of five times in one day and you should be kosher. Of course, that's just my pass time. I was home alone all day and had nothing better to do. Oh, the intriguing life of the American teenager.
It's because you couldn't get a cock..

[Luckee12]

It's because you couldn't get a cock..

hahaha there is so much more truth to that than you know lol
excellent post sir

[AndrewIcex]

Umm on a note somewhat related to the thread but not...

I had a teacher in HS, and her last name was Bates, and her son was a good friend of mine (Justin).. but their father was some Karate instructor or something.. I dunno, but apparently according to their certain type of Martial arts... at some point instead of being called "sir" or something, you are called Master (like if you own the school and have the right degree of belt or something), and that was what he was called "Master Bates" when I found out from Justin, I was.. well, I was in utter shock that he would actually go by that, I guess he had to, but it was fucking hilarious, but I never made fun of him, but really wanted to.

[Five-Star]

Wack-A-Mole

[phil19]

its been a while since i masturbated

[caress me down]

truth

[intensified]

It's because you couldn't get a cock..

I can name a few I could get.

[quarterhorse101]

http://www.treehugger.com/meat-ad.jpg

[TakeItToManHat]

I can name a few I could get.
Like I know them?

[Luckee12]

they dont exist

[intensified]

Like I know them?

Well, you're the one who made some great observation that I can't get cock when you don't even know me.

[TakeItToManHat]

Well, you're the one who made some great observation that I can't get cock when you don't even know me.
Judging by your pictures, I don't know who would want to hit you. I'd pick a fucking horse over you.

[intensified]

Judging by your pictures, I don't know who would want to hit you. I'd pick a fucking horse over you.

Hahahaha. Well, good luck surviving that one.

[AndrewIcex]

:popcorn:

[TakeItToManHat]

I mean, can you put on enough make up? Chunky monkey!!

[muttley]

:popcorn:

Very appropriate for this thread.

[intensified]

I mean, can you put on enough make up? Chunky monkey!!

At least I'm not afraid to upload a picture of myself, asshole.

[TakeItToManHat]

At least I'm not afraid to upload a picture of myself, asshole.
Sorry I'm an adult. I have a job that I intend on keeping. No need to jeopardize it.

[AndrewIcex]

Very appropriate for this thread.
Thought so too haha.

[chelseaxsmilexD]

My search yielded 49 threads and 34 blog entries. :-| Who knew a forum full of teenagers would have such an ingrained interest in masturbation?
us teenagers* i mean seriously.... you were a teen once, lol.


*not whatever age it says i am.

[thespearkid]

us teenagers* i mean seriously.... you were a teen once, lol.


*not whatever age it says i am.
It doesn't say. And apparently, you're not a guy either, are you?

[chelseaxsmilexD]

Lol now youre slutting yourself out on the internet...lol thats so fucking trashy, what a confidence booster eh? im impressed leah really lol... but about your usrname. i swear to god, i get so much shit for loving chiodos, tdwp, and bmth. hate you.

[chelseaxsmilexD]

It doesn't say. And apparently, you're not a guy either, are you?
um yesssss i am.... I HAVE PROOF! but no seriously i have a schlong.

[tawtaw]

Didn't see that coming.

[TheQ]

Let's just all admit that at one point in time we wondered why masturbation was spelled with a 'u' instead of an 'e'.

[PezMullet]

Personal record: 8 times in a day

[muttley]

That can't be healthy.

[phil19]

Personal record: 8 times in a day

fuck me! wasnt your knob all sore?

[Jake Denning]

This a thread for masturbation, I have to say that handjobs are one of the most boring things on earth. Bitches don't know how to do it.

:shake:

I wouldnt trust ANY girl with that task.

"AH!!! Dont pull that hard! OW OW OW DAMN IT STOP!"

[thespearkid]

Hahahaha. Well, good luck surviving that one.
Just wanted to say that I totally disagree with that other dude. You're really pretty.

I've said that to anyone on AP before haha. I need sleep, man.

[intensified]

Just wanted to say that I totally disagree with that other dude. You're really pretty.

I've said that to anyone on AP before haha. I need sleep, man.

Haha. Thanks, man.

[intensified]

Let's just all admit that at one point in time we wondered why masturbation was spelled with a 'u' instead of an 'e'.

Hahaha, truth.

[whataclush]

Lateralus is my sex.

[TachyonEvan]

I approve of most of this thread.

[Thesleepingwell]

I approve of most of this thread.

Seconded.

[phil19]

i had a wank last night

[TachyonEvan]

Has anyone ever hurt themselves during masturbation?

[muttley]

Forget being hurt. Has anyone died masturbating? What a way to go.

[phil19]

Forget being hurt. Has anyone died masturbating? What a way to go.

that INXS dude did, didnt he?

[muttley]

that INXS dude did, didnt he?

...Who?

[phil19]

...Who?

michael hutchence (sp?)

[muttley]

michael hutchence (sp?)

Never heard of him or INXS. Now that I think about it, didn't that guy from Kill Bill just die from something like this a month or so ago?

[phil19]

Never heard of him or INXS. Now that I think about it, didn't that guy from Kill Bill just die from something like this a month or so ago?

you've never heard of INXS?! wow.
he might've actually. heard something about that.

[muttley]

you've never heard of INXS?! wow.
he might've actually. heard something about that.

They're from Australia, and they came out in 1977... I really wouldn't be familiar with them haha.

[thespearkid]

Has anyone ever hurt themselves during masturbation?
every time.

[phil19]

They're from Australia, and they came out in 1977... I really wouldn't be familiar with them haha.

hahaha fair point

[TachyonEvan]

. . .

[moths wings]

Sometimes I prefer jacking it to actual sex. Sex is awesome, but if you're jacking it you can go at your own pace and you dont have to worry about the other person.



Eh i feel gross now, im not coming back to this thread.

[phil19]

i thought about masturbating last night but then i decided against it

[KingJohn_654]

anybody ever have their parents/siblings/friends catch them?

[TachyonEvan]

I jack it every night.

[phil19]

my mum nearly caught me one time when i was about 15 but i managed to hide my boner under my bed covers in time

[KingJohn_654]

I jack it every night.

same. cant sleep without it. its like a teddy bear or a baby blanket.

[4N6 science]

I jack it every night.

Nothing better than this! :thumbup:

[ezco25]

how do u stop haha
i just stopped for 8 months and started again the other night
ialways feel dirty after it..... it just doesnt cum (hehe) off

[Bloodsucker II]

my mum nearly caught me one time when i was about 15 but i managed to hide my boner under my bed covers in time

:lol:

hahahahaa that made me lol very hard, sir.

[phil19]

:lol:

hahahahaa that made me lol very hard, sir.

hahaha at the time it wasnt funny.

[Reaver]

Sometimes I prefer jacking it to actual sex. Sex is awesome, but if you're jacking it you can go at your own pace and you dont have to worry about the other person.



Eh i feel gross now, im not coming back to this thread.

i know what you mean, you're gf is bad in bed.

[Bloodsucker II]

hahaha at the time it wasnt funny.

hahahaha, i think it's just the word "boner" that makes me laugh. It's just comical.

i know what you mean, you're gf is bad in bed.

Oh snap! :-0

[phil19]

hahahaha, i think it's just the word "boner" that makes me laugh. It's just comical.



Oh snap! :-0

thats completely understandable

[moths wings]

i know what you mean, you're gf is bad in bed.
my are gf is baD In BED/!@

[Reaver]

my are gf is baD In BED/!@

damnshesucks

[moths wings]

damnshesucks
nevershoutnever