Second song by me i hope it's good :D

[Snowstorm]

You don't know how to tell the truth anymore
because i heard that excuse about a thousand times before
but i need you, i love you
but i can't do this anymore
your like heroine i can't wash you off my skin baby

but i gotta be strong
because in a minute i'll be gone!
And you'll never see me again
i'm sorry but i will never be your friend

Now i'm to the going to the bar
hopefully the gin and whiskey will wash your scent away
to another place
but every time it blows away
it comes right back at me like a fu*king boomerang

But i gotta be strong
in a minute i'll be gone!
And nobody will ever see me again
i'm sorry but i will never be your friend

I wish all this shit was only just pretend
i'm back in my car
i'm wasted
in a minute i'll be dead
i don't know whats going on in my head

i'm plunging off a cliff
crash landing in the earth
all i'm thinking in a few seconds

I'll be gone!

[Genuma]

never stop writing. please.

[Genuma]

You don't know how to tell the truth anymore....
because i heard that excuse about a thousand times before
but i need you, i love you
but i can't do this anymore
your like heroine i can't wash you off my skin baby

but i gotta be strong
because in a minute i'll be gone!
And you'll never see me again
i'm sorry but i will never be your friend.

Now i'm to the going to the bar
hopefully the gin and whiskey will wash your scent away.....
to another place
but every time it blows away
it comes right back at me like a fu*king boomerang..

But i gotta be strong
in a minute i'll be gone!
And nobody will ever see me again
i'm sorry but i will never be your friend.

I wish all this shit was only just pretend
i'm back in my car
i'm wasted
in a minute i'll be dead
i don't know whats going on in my head

i'm plunging off a cliff
crash landing in the earth
all i'm thinking in a few seconds....

I'll be gone!
Favorite parts again. also i was wondering, do you sing all the periods, too?

[Snowstorm]

no i don't XD lol just so i know when to pause with my songs when i sing them

[Snowstorm]

someone else please comment!

[Genuma]

seriously guys, these are amazing.

[Machu505]

seriously guys, these are amazing.

Like SOTY amazing?

[Genuma]

Even more amazing.

[Machu505]

Song of the decade?

[Genuma]

Best song EVER

[MADSTA]

I can totally tell by those lyrics that the melody to this song is amazing.

[Genuma]

I can totally tell by those lyrics that the melody to this song is amazing.
hey. don't be sarcastic.

[AndrewIcex]

:appl:

[TheSkyline]

I'm a fan of this thread and what's going on inside of it.

[Deezlink]

I like it. Don't stop writing man.

[micahistheballs]

I can hear Gram Parsons singing this.

[Dagless]

"it comes right back at me like a fu*king boomerang"

Best part. Seems like that would be a fun line to sing in the context of the song.

[eliselovesmusic]

You don't know how to tell the truth anymore
because i heard that excuse about a thousand times before
but i need you, i love you
but i can't do this anymore
your like heroine i can't wash you off my skin baby

but i gotta be strong
because in a minute i'll be gone!
And you'll never see me again
i'm sorry but i will never be your friend

Now i'm to the going to the bar
hopefully the gin and whiskey will wash your scent away
to another place
but every time it blows away
it comes right back at me like a fu*king boomerang

But i gotta be strong
in a minute i'll be gone!
And nobody will ever see me again
i'm sorry but i will never be your friend

I wish all this shit was only just pretend
i'm back in my car
i'm wasted
in a minute i'll be dead
i don't know whats going on in my head

i'm plunging off a cliff
crash landing in the earth
all i'm thinking in a few seconds

I'll be gone!



I like these parts.

Keep on writing. You've clearly outlined a story/plot line (which I like) and I like something about the way it's structured, maybe the places you've seperated into seperate verses.

Interesting that you haven't outlined a chorus in particular....

[Snowstorm]

i know lol no time i am in middle of new song :O

[eliselovesmusic]

i know lol no time i am in middle of new song :O


haha you sound like me!!!


It's great to just keep churning them out one after the other, but once you've got all the creative juice squeezed out of you, I'd slow it down a bit and see how you can really start improving.
The lyrics/poetry forum really helped me to realise this actually.

[UnderMyDreams]

A little young to be going into the bar, don't ya think?

[Genuma]

stil the best song.