high_output
02/23/06, 03:58 PM
So, Im depressed. Like everyone else.
I dont want to kill myself. I dont want to cut my wrists. I dont want to drink myself into a stupor. I just want to get better.
Heres the situation.
I had been dating this girl, the love of my life, Sarah, for almost ten months. We had some problems just because we rushed into things and she has attatchment issues. Its not her fault. Basically the relationship itself isnt the problem. We broke up but we still want to be with each other, so we are taking baby steps towards fixing stuff and working things out.
This guy used to be in a band with me. Hes a total self rightous douchebag and thinks everyone is out to get him and is a drunken fool. Basically he got drunk at our lead singers suprise bday party (he turned 21) and cussed out the girl whos house we had the party at and satrted a figh over a bass. it was lame, basically he was playing the bass and it belonged to the girls stepdad, not her, so she asked him nicely to put it down because iut wasnt hers and she didnt want anything to happen to it. He, being the self loving fuck that he is, starts say, "Ive been a musician for 5 years, i know how to handle an instrument, im not gonna hurt it.", refusing to put it down. Now, when someone asks you nicely to do something (within reason) you fucking do it. respect their property and their wishes in their house. but no, he had to argue. long story short, he fought some guy and the cops came and dropped him off at bart to sit untill the train came for like 5 hours. he hates everyone in the band (fomer band) now because he says we arent really his friends cuz we didnt back him up.
anyway, he talks to sarah online sometimes. i hate this because he is notorios for starting shit. i need to point something out before we go on:
i have made alot of mistakes in my relationship. i flirted with some girls online like a fucking retard and basically was a pig. i have ditched those ways and have been trying to be the best person i can for sarah because i love her more than anything. as im trying to improve, its hard to hear about my past ways because i am embarrassed and disgusted with who i let myself be. so its very frustrated when its thrown in my face. plus, sarah is very hard to talk to when shit like this is brought up. and i tend to panic when confronted because i dont know what to do. anyway:
they are talking online tday about random shit and somehow im brought up. this guy decides its a good idea to bring up an incident about this girl imd my band and said she wanted to do all of us. she was a friend and i knew she was joking because hse is basically married (engaged) and shes just a funny person. so i respond with we wanna do you too. and then proceed to ask her how she is, hows the man, how is likfe, blah blah.
well, sarah didnt know about it because it was like 5 months ago, it was a little insignificant thing that didnt need to be brought up, and this guy KNEW that she was sensitive to this shit, so he brings it up. now, shes mad at me cuz i got furious and called him ad asked him why the fuck he would do that, and he just said, "im just telling the truth".
so now since i got mad and angry over it shes mad at me because i cant just "own it" and apologize and get over it. what she doesnt realize is that this is so hard for me trying to be the best i can and put shit behind me when its constantly rubbed in my face. i want to be able to own it but when someone brings somwthing up to start shit its just so frustrating and detrimental to my work. all i want to do is make her happy, but i cant help getting angry when shit like this happens. is this guy a fucking asshole or what?
what should i do?
I dont want to kill myself. I dont want to cut my wrists. I dont want to drink myself into a stupor. I just want to get better.
Heres the situation.
I had been dating this girl, the love of my life, Sarah, for almost ten months. We had some problems just because we rushed into things and she has attatchment issues. Its not her fault. Basically the relationship itself isnt the problem. We broke up but we still want to be with each other, so we are taking baby steps towards fixing stuff and working things out.
This guy used to be in a band with me. Hes a total self rightous douchebag and thinks everyone is out to get him and is a drunken fool. Basically he got drunk at our lead singers suprise bday party (he turned 21) and cussed out the girl whos house we had the party at and satrted a figh over a bass. it was lame, basically he was playing the bass and it belonged to the girls stepdad, not her, so she asked him nicely to put it down because iut wasnt hers and she didnt want anything to happen to it. He, being the self loving fuck that he is, starts say, "Ive been a musician for 5 years, i know how to handle an instrument, im not gonna hurt it.", refusing to put it down. Now, when someone asks you nicely to do something (within reason) you fucking do it. respect their property and their wishes in their house. but no, he had to argue. long story short, he fought some guy and the cops came and dropped him off at bart to sit untill the train came for like 5 hours. he hates everyone in the band (fomer band) now because he says we arent really his friends cuz we didnt back him up.
anyway, he talks to sarah online sometimes. i hate this because he is notorios for starting shit. i need to point something out before we go on:
i have made alot of mistakes in my relationship. i flirted with some girls online like a fucking retard and basically was a pig. i have ditched those ways and have been trying to be the best person i can for sarah because i love her more than anything. as im trying to improve, its hard to hear about my past ways because i am embarrassed and disgusted with who i let myself be. so its very frustrated when its thrown in my face. plus, sarah is very hard to talk to when shit like this is brought up. and i tend to panic when confronted because i dont know what to do. anyway:
they are talking online tday about random shit and somehow im brought up. this guy decides its a good idea to bring up an incident about this girl imd my band and said she wanted to do all of us. she was a friend and i knew she was joking because hse is basically married (engaged) and shes just a funny person. so i respond with we wanna do you too. and then proceed to ask her how she is, hows the man, how is likfe, blah blah.
well, sarah didnt know about it because it was like 5 months ago, it was a little insignificant thing that didnt need to be brought up, and this guy KNEW that she was sensitive to this shit, so he brings it up. now, shes mad at me cuz i got furious and called him ad asked him why the fuck he would do that, and he just said, "im just telling the truth".
so now since i got mad and angry over it shes mad at me because i cant just "own it" and apologize and get over it. what she doesnt realize is that this is so hard for me trying to be the best i can and put shit behind me when its constantly rubbed in my face. i want to be able to own it but when someone brings somwthing up to start shit its just so frustrating and detrimental to my work. all i want to do is make her happy, but i cant help getting angry when shit like this happens. is this guy a fucking asshole or what?
what should i do?