Turning down a friend

[pinkjinx87]

What do you do when a good friend wants to be more than friends? And you don't want to...how do you tell them no without hurting them? Will the friendship be the same after that?

[Joanna187]

Fuck 'im.

[Joanna187]

oh yeah, jk.

[pinkjinx87]

That is always an option.

[pinkjinx87]

haha yeah I couldn't do that..no attraction at all.

[DeathCabForCoon]

Just tell him the truth, yeah he'll be hurt and probably upset with you. But in the long run its for the better than being all like, "well i dunnnnno" cause more often than not he'll take that as a maybe, and when a girl says "maybe" a guy hears "well if you try a little harder and make both of our lives more awkward by coming on too strong than i'll give you a shot." So just tell him, it's hard either way but this is the best way.

[Joanna187]

Just give him the usual "I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship if it didn't work out."

[pinkjinx87]

This guy will be all depressed. He has been giving me these long looks and I can tell he hates it when I date guys..I'm just afraid that he would take it too hard.

[Joanna187]

This guy will be all depressed. He has been giving me these long looks and I can tell he hates it when I date guys..I'm just afraid that he would take it too hard.If he would take it too hard, it would probably be worse if you kept going on and didn't say anything because he'll think he still has a chance.

[pinkjinx87]

If he would take it too hard, it would probably be worse if you kept going on and didn't say anything because he'll think he still has a chance.That's true. I'm not even sure how long he has liked me. I've just been noticing how he looks at me and now I watch his reaction when I go out with a guy. So should I just tell him now or wait till he asks me out?

[Joanna187]

That's true. I'm not even sure how long he has liked me. I've just been noticing how he looks at me and now I watch his reaction when I go out with a guy. So should I just tell him now or wait till he asks me out?Definitely tell him now. Being denied when asking someone out feels much worse than the person just coming up to you and saying they aren't interested.

[apoemtothedead]

Just tell him no. It's better to do that than lead him on for a while. Unless the guy is a huge douche, your friendship should be fine.

[BlackSheepBoy]

You need to tell him how you really feel. But admit it, you enjoy the attention you are getting from him.

[pinkjinx87]

Well I definitely don't want him to think there is a chance. Telling him this and seeing his face fall is going to suck. He is an insecure guy. I want him to feel good about himself and find a girl who will appreciate him.

[pinkjinx87]

You need to tell him how you really feel. But admit it, you enjoy the attention you are getting from him.Not from a guy I see more as a friend, no.

[apoemtothedead]

find a girl who will appreciate him.
Tell him that. Tell him you love him as a friend, but you just don't see you guys working out in a relationship.

[Joanna187]

Well I definitely don't want him to think there is a chance. Telling him this and seeing his face fall is going to suck. He is an insecure guy. I want him to feel good about himself and find a girl who will appreciate him.Don't worry about it. He'll find someone eventually. Just make sure he knows you still want to be his friend and stuff. People get their feelings hurt, it happens.

[pinkjinx87]

Yeah...ok. Thanks guys.:) I hope it all turns out ok and that this won't affect our friendship.

[Joanna187]

No problem, good luck with it.

[splitsecond]

Of course a female would ask this. Stop leading him on and you wont have this problem.

[pinkjinx87]

Of course a female would ask this. Stop leading him on and you wont have this problem.Maybe I was leading him on..If so, I had no idea that I was.

[lesto17]

Tell him and then swiftly buy him a hooker to cheer him up. Or just tell him.

[Rebs]

I agree with most of what has been said. I've had this happen with a couple of friends before, I did the same thing with both, I immediately told them that I love them too much and I would screw it up (I really would, I'm incredibly horrible with relationships) with two of them it worked out great, but with the third, he got really pissy and wouldn't talk to me for a while, but he's back to normal now. So I would just say something.

[pinkjinx87]

I agree with most of what has been said. I've had this happen with a couple of friends before, I did the same thing with both, I immediately told them that I love them too much and I would screw it up (I really would, I'm incredibly horrible with relationships) with two of them it worked out great, but with the third, he got really pissy and wouldn't talk to me for a while, but he's back to normal now. So I would just say something.Ah so you've been in this predicament? Yeah, I am going to tell him tomorrow at school. I want to tell him face to face.

[KidLightning]

Ah so you've been in this predicament? Yeah, I am going to tell him tomorrow at school. I want to tell him face to face.
definitely do it at the end of the day then, you don't want to ruin the poor kid's concentration throughout the whole school day

[pinkjinx87]

definitely do it at the end of the day then, you don't want to ruin the poor kid's concentration throughout the whole school dayI plan on doing just that.

[KidLightning]

I plan on doing just that.
good idea, and don't listen to whoever the idiot was blaming you for the situation and saying you were leading this kid on...

[pinkjinx87]

good idea, and don't listen to whoever the idiot was blaming you for the situation and saying you were leading this kid on...Yeah. I'm pretty sure I treated this guy like any other friend.

[Rebs]

Ah so you've been in this predicament? Yeah, I am going to tell him tomorrow at school. I want to tell him face to face.
It's good that you're telling him face to face. School is a bit of an ass move, but as long as you do it at the end of the day its cool. I prefer being out with him on a Friday or something, but that's just me.

[pinkjinx87]

It's good that you're telling him face to face. School is a bit of an ass move, but as long as you do it at the end of the day its cool. I prefer being out with him on a Friday or something, but that's just me.I can't help the school thing, it's probably be the only time I get to see him.

[Krlos]

tell him that you only want to be his friend he will be sad but he has to understand

[pinkjinx87]

tell him that you only want to be his friend he will be sad but he has to understandYeah, that's what I hear is the best thing to do. Hopefully he can understand and not be all depressed or anything.

[save_me]

:/ tough situation good luck

[pinkjinx87]

All went well with telling him today. He was kinda sad when I told him, but he understands.

[nobodysmonkey]

How awful must that guy be? Is he deaf and blind? Or is this a hypothetical question?

[pinkjinx87]

How awful must that guy be? Is he deaf and blind? Or is this a hypothetical question?ha I don't know. It's just an awkward situation. Now i'll probably not be as comfortable as I was in our friendship.

[nobodysmonkey]

ha I don't know. It's just an awkward situation. Now i'll probably not be as comfortable as I was in our friendship.
Wow, are you that dumb that you don't care when people blatantly make fun of you?

[pinkjinx87]

I just don't care.

[Stereo Mike]

What do you do when a good friend wants to be more than friends? And you don't want to...how do you tell them no without hurting them? Will the friendship be the same after that?
Fuck him.

You prude.