Prize Of Perfection

[j0rdansl0ver]

Prize Of Perfection

it's a teardrop on blue horizontal lines
it's a perfect melody and a perfect rhyme
it's the highest note without any strain
or the winning goal in the championship game
that moment you realize it's been achieved
perfection, reflection, satisfaction, your dream
you know it, you feel it, rejoice in your song
you live up your moment, it won't last for long

with something so rare, it's so hard to find
it's beneath the stairs of the journey you climb
the pressure, the journey, your faith, it fades
the treasure, the trophy, its worth, it reigns
perfection is such a fantastic word
the goal can be seen, it can be heard
hard work is just a formality
to get to the prize, to your destiny

it's a smile from that one meaningful guy
or the man of the house with a wink from his eye
a cheer from a stranger, a man in the crowd
it's someone left saying, 'you make me so proud'
maybe it's not as hard as it seems
perfection, reflection, satisfaction, your dream
it's the minuscule things you must learn to count
life's simple pleasures, the joy that you've found

with something so rare, it's so hard to find
it's beneath the stairs of the journey you climb
the pressure, the journey, your faith, it fades
the treasure, the trophy, its worth, it reigns
perfection is such a fantastic word
the goal can be seen, it can be heard
hard work is just a formality
to get to the prize, to your destiny

[southerndrawl]

A topic that's been done a thousand times. I think this is a good try but the topics so over done and the rhythm of this is so boring that I wanted to skip to the good parts but I didn't know what the good parts were. I liked the reference to the father approving. I think you used 'man' too much tho. Maybe say a voice in the crowd instead, makes it less ... I dont know... knowledgable? That's not the right word. The lack of capitalization bugged me. I think you should have just kept with one idea. The writing on notebook paper, or the music, or the singing, or the game. I think you were trying to make this apply to more than just one person ... but by doing that you limited the meaning. Now it's not just applied to people who write, or just people who sing... now it's to people who write OR sing OR play football or soccer or something.

Keep trying.