Mental Disorders

[thespearkid]

Probably been done before but search yielded nothing.

Anyway, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (manic depressive) back in february. right now, the part of it that is annoying me is the insomnia. if i'm manic, i can't sleep. if i'm depressive, i can't get out of bed. it sucks. so yeah, discuss or ask questions or whatever.

[open mind]

i've had alot of trouble with insomnia, anxiety, and depression throughout the years.

my current theory is being anxious makes sleep impossible, which causes more anxiety, which then causes depression, then all 3 feed eachother and form like voltron into an unstoppable force of personal asskickery.

[LaDiabla]

Borderline, chronicly depressed and a little shizo.

it's delightful.

[Jake Denning]

Borderline, chronicly depressed and a little shizo.

it's delightful.

Sup shawty.

It's 3am in my land.

I thought I had some crazy anxiety issues, but turns out it's just normal to freak out over relationship stuff sometimes.

[LaDiabla]

Sup shawty.

It's 3am in my land.

I thought I had some crazy anxiety issues, but turns out it's just normal to freak out over relationship stuff sometimes.

sup.
i just woke up and feel like going back to bed again. so exhausted.

[Jake Denning]

sup.
i just woke up and feel like going back to bed again. so exhausted.

......from what?

[LaDiabla]

......from what?

walking around amsterdam the last 3 days.

[.invisible ink.]

severe clinical depression, mild anxiety/panic attacks

my life makes me sad. :-(

[Reaver]

a question. are you like super horny when you're manic? just curious.

[AJ F]

Half the country is on anti-depressants.

[Smeee]

I have dyspraxia but that's not really a mental disorder :shrug:

[Animalhill]

Probably been done before but search yielded nothing.

Anyway, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (manic depressive) back in february. right now, the part of it that is annoying me is the insomnia. if i'm manic, i can't sleep. if i'm depressive, i can't get out of bed. it sucks. so yeah, discuss or ask questions or whatever.
I hear you man- I was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia just over 6 months ago. Not on meds. Some days are normal and some days make Donny Darko look like a fucking petting zoo.

[SincerelyMe]

Insomnia drove me crazy until I got on Melatonin. It's an over the counter natural sleep aid. They say it's not addictive, but it definitely is. I strongly recommend it to anyone suffering from insomnia.

My doctor tried to put me on anti-depressants, but I refused.

[Manicapathy]

I'm just straight crazy. The doctor asked me if I want to kill myself and I said no, I want to kill other people. He didn't find that as funny as I did.

[LaDiabla]

Insomnia drove me crazy until I got on Melatonin. It's an over the counter natural sleep aid. They say it's not addictive, but it definitely is. I strongly recommend it to anyone suffering from insomnia.

My doctor tried to put me on anti-depressants, but I refused.

How do you get on Melatonin? The body produces it naturally, just not enough for us insomnia plaqued people..
Like is it pure Melatonin or what? I've never heard of that and might try it if I can get it here.

[bung]

http://blogs.nashvillescene.com/pitw/gh2paxil.jpg

[Animalhill]

I'm just straight crazy. The doctor asked me if I want to kill myself and I said no, I want to kill other people. He didn't find that as funny as I did.
I think I could give you a run for your money.

[SincerelyMe]

How do you get on Melatonin? The body produces it naturally, just not enough for us insomnia plaqued people..
Like is it pure Melatonin or what? I've never heard of that and might try it if I can get it here.

I'm not sure exactly what it is. I know it is produced naturally in the body though. My doctor recommended it to me a few years ago when I talked about having trouble sleeping. It's over the counter so you don't need a prescription (or to even be over 18 - I've bought it before). I got it that day and I've been on it ever since.

The thing is, that if I go somewhere and forget it, I'm fucked. But I'd be fucked anyway I guess.

And I've had to increase my dose since I started taking it. I guess my body built up a tolerance or something.

[Animalhill]

I'm not sure exactly what it is. I know it is produced naturally in the body though. My doctor recommended it to me a few years ago when I talked about having trouble sleeping. It's over the counter so you don't need a prescription (or to even be over 18 - I've bought it before). I got it that day and I've been on it ever since.

The thing is, that if I go somewhere and forget it, I'm fucked. But I'd be fucked anyway I guess.

And I've had to increase my dose since I started taking it. I guess my body built up a tolerance or something.
It was very, very smart of you to go this route than heavy pharmecuticals. Trust me, they are fucking evil.

[SincerelyMe]

It was very, very smart of you to go this route than heavy pharmecuticals. Trust me, they are fucking evil.

So I've heard from quite a few people. I hate medication. I'm on medication for migraines and I hate that. But I would die if I didn't take it haha.

It was actually my doctor's idea to go this way rather than heavy prescription stuff. For that I am grateful.

My psychiatrist tried to put me on anti-depressants a few times though and I absolutely refused. Prescription medication fucked me over too many times and I wasn't about to do it again.

[Animalhill]

So I've heard from quite a few people. I hate medication. I'm on medication for migraines and I hate that. But I would die if I didn't take it haha.

It was actually my doctor's idea to go this way rather than heavy prescription stuff. For that I am grateful.

My psychiatrist tried to put me on anti-depressants a few times though and I absolutely refused. Prescription medication fucked me over too many times and I wasn't about to do it again.
The first med they put me on to treat my schizophrenia made me freak out, become convinced that I was being followed by undercover cops, and literally left my life for two weeks and drove to Tennessee in a panic. Talk about a bad reaction. Havn't been on meds since that.

[SincerelyMe]

The first med they put me on to treat my schizophrenia made me freak out, become convinced that I was being followed by undercover cops, and literally left my life for two weeks and drove to Tennessee in a panic. Talk about a bad reaction. Havn't been on meds since that.

Life unmedicated is much better. In first grade, I was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and put on ritalin (and eventually concerta) and it took away my personality. I became anti social, depressed, and eventually suicidal until I stopped taking it in 8th grade (my mom wouldn't let me officially stop until 10th grade because of my grades, but I didn't touch the stuff since 8th grade).
Now I just take stuff for headaches, and as far as I can tell, there's no horrible side effects.
I much prefer myself when I'm not medicated.

[Animalhill]

Life unmedicated is much better. In first grade, I was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and put on ritalin (and eventually concerta) and it took away my personality. I became anti social, depressed, and eventually suicidal until I stopped taking it in 8th grade (my mom wouldn't let me officially stop until 10th grade because of my grades, but I didn't touch the stuff since 8th grade).
Now I just take stuff for headaches, and as far as I can tell, there's no horrible side effects.
I much prefer myself when I'm not medicated.
I wouldn't expect them to considering they're not MAOI inhibitors.

[SincerelyMe]

I wouldn't expect them to considering they're not MAOI inhibitors.

True, but you never know. And the medication I take has been used to treat other things as well (like alcoholism). And you never know how your body will react to a medication, regardless of what it is.

[Animalhill]

True, but you never know. And the medication I take has been used to treat other things as well (like alcoholism). And you never know how your body will react to a medication, regardless of what it is.
That's true. I guess I meant more along the lines of a side-effect resulting in personality loss/changes. You're right though, there can always be physiological effects.

[SincerelyMe]

That's true. I guess I meant more along the lines of a side-effect resulting in personality loss/changes. You're right though, there can always be physiological effects.

Exactly. I've been on this stuff for over a year now and I'm still skeptical because it's used to treat so much other stuff.

[amo.]

i have anxiety and depression, possibly ocd too but i really doubt it.

[Animalhill]

Exactly. I've been on this stuff for over a year now and I'm still skeptical because it's used to treat so much other stuff.
Well that isn't necessarily a bad thing. So much of our biological systems are intertwined.

[Animalhill]

Am I the only schizo on this site? g-damn.

[amo.]

the thread is young, sir. we will see.

[SincerelyMe]

Am I the only schizo on this site? g-damn.

Doubt it.

Well that isn't necessarily a bad thing. So much of our biological systems are intertwined.

That's true. But the fact that one medication can treat twenty different things kinda freaks me out a bit.

[Animalhill]

Doubt it.



That's true. But the fact that one medication can treat twenty different things kinda freaks me out a bit.
We will see.
And yes, its definitely understandable that you are a bit put off by that.

[SincerelyMe]

We will see.
And yes, its definitely understandable that you are a bit put off by that.

I'm not put off enough to stop taking it though. At least not yet haha. And my neurologist seems to know what she's talking about.

[Kill_the_radio]

I started taking Xanax for anxiety, but now my anxiety has gone, and I still pop a couple of pills with alcohol. It's so relaxing!

[RecklessXRandy]

I have anxiety/panic attacks and on some nights I can't bring myself to sleep.

[Animalhill]

I'm not put off enough to stop taking it though. At least not yet haha. And my neurologist seems to know what she's talking about.
Not to freak you out, but I've come to find, at least in NH, that the majority of the neurologists/psychotherepists that have prescribed me meds didn't know what the fuck they were prescribing. What most people don't know is that medical proffesionals are given incentives by pharmecutical vendors (be it shwag, vacations, $$$ etc) to push their brand of meds. Its fucking digusting.

[SincerelyMe]

Not to freak you out, but I've come to find, at least in NH, that the majority of the neurologists/psychotherepists that have prescribed me meds didn't know what the fuck they were prescribing. What most people don't know is that medical proffesionals are given incentives by pharmecutical vendors (be it shwag, vacations, $$$ etc) to push their brand of meds. Its fucking digusting.

That I do know. But she seems to know a lot about what medications mix/don't mix well (I'm on a preventative and an on the spot medication). And as soon as something doesn't work, she fixes it. For example, my first on the spot medication worked really well, but it made me sleep for 6 hours right after I took it (bad for when I took it during school). And so she gave me samples until I found one that worked for me and then gave me a prescription.

[Animalhill]

That I do know. But she seems to know a lot about what medications mix/don't mix well (I'm on a preventative and an on the spot medication). And as soon as something doesn't work, she fixes it. For example, my first on the spot medication worked really well, but it made me sleep for 6 hours right after I took it (bad for when I took it during school). And so she gave me samples until I found one that worked for me and then gave me a prescription.
Nice! You're very lucky to get a professional that knows what they're doing and gives a shit.

[SincerelyMe]

Nice! You're very lucky to get a professional that knows what they're doing and gives a shit.

I've heard that before. All my doctors who know what they're talking about are recommendations from other doctors who know what they're talking about.

[Animalhill]

I've heard that before. All my doctors who know what they're talking about are recommendations from other doctors who know what they're talking about.
haha you are so lucky. Makes me wish I had health insurance. Unfortunately, I can't afford ANY kind of treatment at all.

[relaxrelapse830]

I have depression and EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified). And I have panic attacks once in a while.

[SincerelyMe]

haha you are so lucky. Makes me wish I had health insurance. Unfortunately, I can't afford ANY kind of treatment at all.

I still live with my parents. I'm on their plan. I don't know what's going to happen when I'm on my own.

[framebyframe]

I have really bad anxiety/panic attacks which has caused other disorders to develop. It sucks

[Animalhill]

I still live with my parents. I'm on their plan. I don't know what's going to happen when I'm on my own.
Do you plan on going to college? In many states a college student can stay on their parents plan.
Unfortunately, I'm not in college, and have been on my own since 17- so I'm kind of fucked.

[Animalhill]

I have really bad anxiety/panic attacks which has caused other disorders to develop. It sucks
Amelie <3

[anamericangod]

I have really bad anxiety/panic attacks which has caused other disorders to develop. It sucks

I feel your pain.

[SincerelyMe]

Do you plan on going to college? In many states a college student can stay on their parents plan.
Unfortunately, I'm not in college, and have been on my own since 17- so I'm kind of fucked.

If I can find a college I want to go to that will take me, I'll go. But I'm not just going to go for the sake of going.

As much as I hate living with my parents, I'm so afraid of being on my own.

[Animalhill]

I feel your pain.
Are you on any kind of meds?

[Animalhill]

If I can find a college I want to go to that will take me, I'll go. But I'm not just going to go for the sake of going.

As much as I hate living with my parents, I'm so afraid of being on my own.
Don't be. Its not nearly as hard as you think, as long as you're willing to work your ass off.

[SincerelyMe]

Don't be. Its not nearly as hard as you think, as long as you're willing to work your ass off.

I'm willing to work my ass off, as long as I'm doing something I want to do. Which kind of requires college for me...which kind of requires getting in.

Mostly, I just don't want to be financially dependent on my parents when I'm 40.

[Animalhill]

I'm willing to work my ass off, as long as I'm doing something I want to do. Which kind of requires college for me...which kind of requires getting in.

Mostly, I just don't want to be financially dependent on my parents when I'm 40.
Then I would recommend going to college. If I wasn't going to be touring full time soon I would be doing menial labor for the rest of my life at just above minimum wage. The real world is kind of a cold bitch

[SincerelyMe]

Then I would recommend going to college. If I wasn't going to be touring full time soon I would be doing menial labor for the rest of my life at just above minimum wage. The real world is kind of a cold bitch

I will go to college, if I get into a school I like. Doesn't have to be my top choice, but I have to like it.

[Animalhill]

I will go to college, if I get into a school I like. Doesn't have to be my top choice, but I have to like it.
That's a good attitude. You don't want to waste money on a shitty college.

[anamericangod]

Are you on any kind of meds?

Yeah. My problems started 3 years ago, and since then it's been a cycle of doctors and drugs, and trying to find something that works. It's been a hard road.

[Animalhill]

Yeah. My problems started 3 years ago, and since then it's been a cycle of doctors and drugs, and trying to find something that works. It's been a hard road.
Dude- I hear you. I was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic about 8 months ago, in the MIDDLE of recording my bands full-length. Like I said before, the first med they put me on made me freak out, leave my life for two weeks and drive around the country thinking I was being followed by undercover cops. Since then I've been pretty adverse to any meds, but now that I'm starting to have visual halucenations, I need to fucking find SOMETHING.

[anamericangod]

Dude- I hear you. I was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic about 8 months ago, in the MIDDLE of recording my bands full-length. Like I said before, the first med they put me on made me freak out, leave my life for two weeks and drive around the country thinking I was being followed by undercover cops. Since then I've been pretty adverse to any meds, but now that I'm starting to have visual halucenations, I need to fucking find SOMETHING.

It's incredible what these sort of drugs are capable of making your body feel and your mind think. The worst part is trying to explain it to somebody who really just doesn't understand what you're dealing with. But I agree, keep trying to find something that works for you, find doctors that you like, and just keep at it. These things almost never take care of themselves, so even though we're young, we already have this epic responsibility to get better that has been pushed on us. I hope you can get to doing better soon, I really know where you're coming from.

[zion the lion]

Seroquel is nice...it doesnt work for me, but it's nice.

[Animalhill]

It's incredible what these sort of drugs are capable of making your body feel and your mind think. The worst part is trying to explain it to somebody who really just doesn't understand what you're dealing with. But I agree, keep trying to find something that works for you, find doctors that you like, and just keep at it. These things almost never take care of themselves, so even though we're young, we already have this epic responsibility to get better that has been pushed on us. I hope you can get to doing better soon, I really know where you're coming from.
This. I hear you man. Not to mention we are probably both broke as fuck, without health insurance, and living on our own. Haha these are the things they neglect to prepare us for in public school.

[anamericangod]

This. I hear you man. Not to mention we are probably both broke as fuck, without health insurance, and living on our own. Haha these are the things they neglect to prepare us for in public school.

Thankfully I have health insurance right now. If I didn't, I would probably just be a heroin addict.

[SincerelyMe]

That's a good attitude. You don't want to waste money on a shitty college.

Exactly. I just want to get into a decent school. I'm not shooting for Harvard.

[Animalhill]

Thankfully I have health insurance right now. If I didn't, I would probably just be a heroin addict.
Pretty close to what I am coming out of. When I was diagnosed Schizo, I went on an amphetemine, coke, and opium binge for like, 3 months. Luckily, I am now clean and trying to deal with this shit the best way that I can.

[TotalCollapse]

I used to have anxiety/panic attacks when I was younger, around age 9. It was awful, but I started to get better after my parents sent me to a psychologist. More recently I've dealt with a few other disorders, which I feel may have resulted from the earlier anxiety.

[anamericangod]

I used to have anxiety/panic attacks when I was younger, around age 9. It was awful, but I started to get better after my parents sent me to a psychologist. More recently I've dealt with a few other disorders, which I feel may have resulted from the earlier anxiety.

You're probably spot on. If you feel they're bad enough still, it'd be best to do something about it. These things can go from bad to worse quite fast.

[Animalhill]

You're probably spot on. If you feel they're bad enough still, it'd be best to do something about it. These things can go from bad to worse quite fast.
Truth.

[TotalCollapse]

You're probably spot on. If you feel they're bad enough still, it'd be best to do something about it. These things can go from bad to worse quite fast.
Yeah, I wasn't doing well about a year ago, so I talked to a few of my close friends about what was going on and that helped some. I have definitely noticed an improvement since then.

[thespearkid]

severe clinical depression, mild anxiety/panic attacks

my life makes me sad. :-(
i hate panic attacks so much. there are some nights when every time i close my eyes, i think i've stopped breathing and wake up shaking with my heart racing.

I hear you man- I was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia just over 6 months ago. Not on meds. Some days are normal and some days make Donny Darko look like a fucking petting zoo.
i'm also taking the un-medicated route, although i do have pills and i'll take them if i'm feeling particularly bad.

[Animalhill]

i hate panic attacks so much. there are some nights when every time i close my eyes, i think i've stopped breathing and wake up shaking with my heart racing.


i'm also taking the un-medicated route, although i do have pills and i'll take them if i'm feeling particularly bad.
I have a month supply of stuff that will help if I go batshit crazy. What kind of things are working for you in the unmedicated route? I know we have different diseases, but there must be something out there.

[thespearkid]

I have a month supply of stuff that will help if I go batshit crazy. What kind of things are working for you in the unmedicated route? I know we have different diseases, but there must be something out there.
going on walks works really well when i'm depressive, although i don't do it as much now that i'm back home. when i'm feeling manic, i'll typically play guitar or play tennis until i can barely walk. panic attacks i try to quell by staying up until i'm as tired as i can be (works with varying success). still haven't found a way to beat the insomnia, lethargy, or paranoia without meds though.

[thespearkid]

and prayer, of course.

[Animalhill]

going on walks works really well when i'm depressive, although i don't do it as much now that i'm back home. when i'm feeling manic, i'll typically play guitar or play tennis until i can barely walk. panic attacks i try to quell by staying up until i'm as tired as i can be (works with varying success). still haven't found a way to beat the insomnia, lethargy, or paranoia without meds though.
This is my issue. Plus incessent auditory and the weekly visual halucenations to boot.

[Animalhill]

and prayer, of course.
I envy you

[thehereaway]

Am I the only schizo on this site? g-damn.

I wasn't born when it happened, but my half-sister had schizophrenia and jumped/fell off a multi-story car park building and killed herself. It obviously didn't affect me, cause i wasn't born, but its sad to hear my dad talk about her. He is doing a round the UK sailing trip now to raise money for some charities, one of which is Rethink who were previously known as the National Schizophrenia Fellowship.

[Animalhill]

I wasn't born when it happened, but my half-sister had schizophrenia and jumped/fell off a multi-story car park building and killed herself. It obviously didn't affect me, cause i wasn't born, but its sad to hear my dad talk about her. He is doing a round the UK sailing trip now to raise money for some charities, one of which is Rethink who were previously known as the National Schizophrenia Fellowship.


Oy- this doesn't feel like a vote of confidence for my future.... kidding.
That's fucking awesome what your pops is doing. Schizophrenia is so fucking stigmatized, it is very rare to see any sort of charity for it.

[thespearkid]

This is my issue. Plus incessent auditory and the weekly visual halucenations to boot.
shit man, when i had my first (and hopefully only) major breakdown that led to my diagnosis, i was having hallucinations on occasion. scary, scary stuff.

I envy you
you don't have to. give it a shot.

[Animalhill]

shit man, when i had my first (and hopefully only) major breakdown that led to my diagnosis, i was having hallucinations on occasion. scary, scary stuff.


you don't have to. give it a shot.
Yeah man, I have them BAD. Every day. Like, two nights ago for instance I was trying to fall asleep with what sounded like the shrieking of 100 pigs being slaughtered in my room. Horrible, horrible stuff.

I have given it a try man- I just can't wrap my head around it. I had a very, very fucked up childhood and when no one answered, I stopped asking.

[thehereaway]

Oy- this doesn't feel like a vote of confidence for my future.... kidding.
That's fucking awesome what your pops is doing. Schizophrenia is so fucking stigmatized, it is very rare to see any sort of charity for it.

Haha, yeah probably not the best thing to tell you. I think my Great Nan, on my Mum's side, had it too - hopefully there is no chance of me developing the disorder. It sounds really horrible to live with. Yeah its great what he is doing, hopefully i can join him for a leg of the journey this month. I find it interesting how often its confused with Multiple Personality Disorder, people don't really seem to know that Schizophrenia is a completely different disorder entirely.

[thespearkid]

Yeah man, I have them BAD. Every day. Like, two nights ago for instance I was trying to fall asleep with what sounded like the shrieking of 100 pigs being slaughtered in my room. Horrible, horrible stuff.

I have given it a try man- I just can't wrap my head around it. I had a very, very fucked up childhood and when no one answered, I stopped asking.
i feel for you. it's something i would hate to have to handle.

and i definitely see where you're coming from as i had the same issue in dramatic fashion. in my immaturity, i thought God wasn't answering but, in reality, He just wasn't giving me the answer i wanted. i'm not going to minister to you so i'll just leave it at this: He's always listening so if you ever just feel like calling out, don't hesitate.

[Animalhill]

Haha, yeah probably not the best thing to tell you. I think my Great Nan, on my Mum's side, had it too - hopefully there is no chance of me developing the disorder. It sounds really horrible to live with. Yeah its great what he is doing, hopefully i can join him for a leg of the journey this month. I find it interesting how often its confused with Multiple Personality Disorder, people don't really seem to know that Schizophrenia is a completely different disorder entirely.
SOOOO many think that. So frustrating.

[samsara]

I'm good.

But I have had extreme depression but I managed to beat it without any help from medication.

[Animalhill]

i feel for you. it's something i would hate to have to handle.

and i definitely see where you're coming from as i had the same issue in dramatic fashion. in my immaturity, i thought God wasn't answering but, in reality, He just wasn't giving me the answer i wanted. i'm not going to minister to you so i'll just leave it at this: He's always listening so if you ever just feel like calling out, don't hesitate.
I know you're not preaching, and I really do appreciate the kind words man. I feel like prayer would be difficult when there is literally a voice screaming, "Feed me fucker!" every time I turn inwards to reflect or attempt meditation.

[TotalCollapse]

I wasn't born when it happened, but my half-sister had schizophrenia and jumped/fell off a multi-story car park building and killed herself. It obviously didn't affect me, cause i wasn't born, but its sad to hear my dad talk about her. He is doing a round the UK sailing trip now to raise money for some charities, one of which is Rethink who were previously known as the National Schizophrenia Fellowship.


That's awful. But it's good to hear that your dad is helping to raise awareness for it.

[Animalhill]

That's awful. But it's good to hear that your dad is helping to raise awareness for it.
haha I think its funny that in a way, his pops is rasing awareness for me. Small world? Nope. Just neat.

[zion the lion]

Haha, yeah probably not the best thing to tell you. I think my Great Nan, on my Mum's side, had it too -hopefully there is no chance of me developing the disorder. It sounds really horrible to live with. Yeah its great what he is doing, hopefully i can join him for a leg of the journey this month. I find it interesting how often its confused with Multiple Personality Disorder, people don't really seem to know that Schizophrenia is a completely different disorder entirely.


It's seriously why I dont tell people what is going on with me.

[Animalhill]

It's seriously why I dont tell people what is going on with me.
I hear you. People who know me and know I'm schizo will sometimes be like, "Sam? Are you Sam right now?" when I'm halucenating and visably weird. Fucking pisses me off.

[zion the lion]

I hear you. People who know me and know I'm schizo will sometimes be like, "Sam? Are you Sam right now?" when I'm halucenating and visably weird. Fucking pisses me off.

Everyone seems to think I'm going to turn into someone else and go crazy or that I'm going to go into a violent fit of rage at any moment...no

[Animalhill]

Everyone seems to think I'm going to turn into someone else and go crazy or that I'm going to go into a violent fit of rage at any moment...no
Well, this actually is a viable danger for me, given the paranoid schizo. One reason why I shouldn't get in fist fights anymore.

[Reaver]

Everyone seems to think I'm going to turn into someone else and go crazy or that I'm going to go into a violent fit of rage at any moment...no

everything i knew about shizophrenia until i met you, was a t-shirt that said on the front "i'm shizo" and on its back "me too". no wonder everyone's confused, haha.

[zion the lion]

Well, this actually is a viable danger for me, given the paranoid schizo. One reason why I shouldn't get in fist fights anymore.

I've done it a few times, but people will pretend like I wasnt the same exact way before diagnosed. I was a lot worse when I was pretty much symptomless, and yet now that we know whats wrong with me, I'm on the verge of breaking someone in half, even on my good days.

[thehereaway]

everything i knew about shizophrenia until i met you, was a t-shirt that said on the front "i'm shizo" and on its back "me too". no wonder everyone's confused, haha.

Yeah, its such a common misconception. Its more an altered or 'abnormal perception and expression of reality' (wikipedia). A quote which, i think, sums it up nicely. Although i don't think its as black and white as that, there are many symptoms and different classifications.

[Animalhill]

I've done it a few times, but people will pretend like I wasnt the same exact way before diagnosed. I was a lot worse when I was pretty much symptomless, and yet now that we know whats wrong with me, I'm on the verge of breaking someone in half, even on my good days.
Trust me, I heat you.

[zion the lion]

everything i knew about shizophrenia until i met you, was a t-shirt that said on the front "i'm shizo" and on its back "me too". no wonder everyone's confused, haha.

The guy who named it screwed everybody over because it basically means "split mind"

[Reaver]

The guy who named it screwed everybody over because it basically means "split mind"

yeah, instead of split personality, i read that on wikipedia. i'm actually surprised how many people in here do actually have some kind of disorder or something similar. and the fact that i didn't have the slightest suspicion before i read it surprises me even more. i guess i have no idea. i think it's kind of interesting, sorry if it sucks for you, though.

[Animalhill]

yeah, instead of split personality, i read that on wikipedia. i'm actually surprised how many people in here do actually have some kind of disorder or something similar. and the fact that i didn't have the slightest suspicion before i read it surprises me even more. i guess i have no idea. i think it's kind of interesting, sorry if it sucks for you, though.
No, I understand what you're saying. Like, if I hadn't stated in here that I was paranoid schizophrenic, you probably would have had no idea- correct?

[Reaver]

No, I understand what you're saying. Like, if I hadn't stated in here that I was paranoid schizophrenic, you probably would have had no idea- correct?

exactly.

[.invisible ink.]

i hate panic attacks so much. there are some nights when every time i close my eyes, i think i've stopped breathing and wake up shaking with my heart racing.


i'm also taking the un-medicated route, although i do have pills and i'll take them if i'm feeling particularly bad.

i had a not-so-mini-nervous breakdown last night (after getting off a plane) and then was forced by my mom to get on another plane this morning to spend an incredibly stressful weekend in Boston with my family. As luck would have it I was seated next to 2 screaming children and their cunty loud ass mom for the entire 2 hour flight this morning AND i was unlucky enough to have a screaming child in front of me on the 3 hour flight from Houston to Raleigh last night. I must have looked like a total spazz sitting on the plane with my ipod earphones in and my hands gripping my head from the noise, yet it still wouldn't drown them out. All I kept thinking was "thank god they don't allow weapons on planes" because I would have had no qualms at the time about chopping this family to bits with no regrets. anyway, needless to say, I had a massive panic attack once i finally got off the plane (thank goodness it was when i got off the plane?). now i'm finally having a moment to myself but can't smoke or do anything that would typically soothe me. I want to go home so badly.

oh and to top it off, my mom thinks that it would be a good idea to ask my bitch of a sister (a stupid fucking Harvard know-it-all psychiatrist) if i can get a prescription for meds from her. Uhhh FUCK THAT. I'm currently unmedicated for this stuff. I generally take 5-HTP for my depression which works under normal circumstances but i need to figure out what to do about the panic attacks since they're increasing (due to my stress levels from work) and asking my sister does NOT fit into the equation.

[Animalhill]

i had a not-so-mini-nervous breakdown last night (after getting off a plane) and then was forced by my mom to get on another plane this morning to spend an incredibly stressful weekend in Boston with my family. As luck would have it I was seated next to 2 screaming children and their cunty loud ass mom for the entire 2 hour flight this morning AND i was unlucky enough to have a screaming child in front of me on the 3 hour flight from Houston to Raleigh last night. I must have looked like a total spazz sitting on the plane with my ipod earphones in and my hands gripping my head from the noise, yet it still wouldn't drown them out. All I kept thinking was "thank god they don't allow weapons on planes" because I would have had no qualms at the time about chopping this family to bits with no regrets. anyway, needless to say, I had a massive panic attack once i finally got off the plane (thank goodness it was when i got off the plane?). now i'm finally having a moment to myself but can't smoke or do anything that would typically soothe me. I want to go home so badly.

oh and to top it off, my mom thinks that it would be a good idea to ask my bitch of a sister (a stupid fucking Harvard know-it-all psychiatrist) if i can get a prescription for meds from her. Uhhh FUCK THAT. I'm currently unmedicated for this stuff. I generally take 5-HTP for my depression which works under normal circumstances but i need to figure out what to do about the panic attacks since they're increasing (due to my stress levels from work) and asking my sister does NOT fit into the equation.
Sounds like a very, very unpleasant visit. :hug:

[open mind]

my doctor is pretty lame....she doesn't seem to know much of anything and mostly relies on me asking about some medication i saw in a commercial to figure out what to try next.

effexor, abilify, zoloft, welbutrin, seraquel, geodon, lithium, and a few other meds whose names currently escape me haven't been much help but they have had all kinds of miserable side effects.

[Reaver]

my doctor is pretty lame....she doesn't seem to know much of anything and mostly relies on me asking about some medication i saw in a commercial to figure out what to try next.

hahahahaahaa. omg.

[open mind]

hahahahaahaa. omg.

it'd be funny if it wasn't true.....and you didn't have to take each medication for a whole month to see if it's going to be helpful.
i feel like i've wasted the last 2 years of my life being a guinea pig.

[Reaver]

it'd be funny if it wasn't true.....and you didn't have to take each medication for a whole month to see if it's going to be helpful.
i feel like i've wasted the last 2 years of my life being a guinea pig.

wow, that sucks. if you really think the doctor sucks you maybe should find another one.

[open mind]

wow, that sucks. if you really think the doctor sucks you maybe should find another one.

i haven't been for awhile cause i lost a bit of faith in meds and it worked out for a couple months just taking vitamins, fish oil pills, eating right, and making sure to exercise enough....but the last couple/few weeks haven't been so great so i'm planning on doing just that if i'm not feeling better by monday.

[AlkalineAshes]

I have social anxiety disorder and low grade depression or dysthymia. I started wellbutrin again recently but I am not liking it at all. Ive had other SSRI's before and think I want to try and stay off the meds. Weed helps somewhat but I think I also need some Cognitive behavioral theropy.

[gemini089]

anxiety disorder and clinical depression. I dont really like the meds tho so im not currently on anything. A lot of people in my family are bi-polar including my dad, its a hard thing to watch people go thru.

[AlkalineAshes]

a question. are you like super horny when you're manic? just curious.
ya that can be a symptom, if it's alot differnt than your normal mood. lack of need for sleep is also a big sign

[AlkalineAshes]

Haha, yeah probably not the best thing to tell you. I think my Great Nan, on my Mum's side, had it too - hopefully there is no chance of me developing the disorder. It sounds really horrible to live with. Yeah its great what he is doing, hopefully i can join him for a leg of the journey this month. I find it interesting how often its confused with Multiple Personality Disorder, people don't really seem to know that Schizophrenia is a completely different disorder entirely.
multiple personality disorder is now known as dissociative identity disorder, maybe they are trying to avoid confusion with schizophrenia, im not sure

[the1]

The only thing I suffer from is pessimism....I never fail to see the bad/cynical side of everything.
People tell me I have huge mood jumps, but I think I'm just unstable more than anything- certain things piss me off no matter what.

I'm counting my blessings that I don't have any personality disorder though. That woud suck. I think I could well have got depressed if I didn't basically kick myself up the ass....

[iAMhollyood315]

Insomnia drove me crazy until I got on Melatonin. It's an over the counter natural sleep aid. They say it's not addictive, but it definitely is. I strongly recommend it to anyone suffering from insomnia.

My doctor tried to put me on anti-depressants, but I refused.

yeah fuck anti-depressants my doctor tried to put me on it too and i refused. he didn't even talk to me about my problems. thats the problem doctors think that a pill is the magical answer for everything. what i did was work out. get exercise eat right and my panic/anxiety subsided and i rarely have problems with it now. only when im hungover i get anxiety. and as far as melatonin do you get crazy dreams, i was thinking about taking some

[SanePsychotic]

i had a not-so-mini-nervous breakdown last night (after getting off a plane) and then was forced by my mom to get on another plane this morning to spend an incredibly stressful weekend in Boston with my family. As luck would have it I was seated next to 2 screaming children and their cunty loud ass mom for the entire 2 hour flight this morning AND i was unlucky enough to have a screaming child in front of me on the 3 hour flight from Houston to Raleigh last night. I must have looked like a total spazz sitting on the plane with my ipod earphones in and my hands gripping my head from the noise, yet it still wouldn't drown them out. All I kept thinking was "thank god they don't allow weapons on planes" because I would have had no qualms at the time about chopping this family to bits with no regrets. anyway, needless to say, I had a massive panic attack once i finally got off the plane (thank goodness it was when i got off the plane?). now i'm finally having a moment to myself but can't smoke or do anything that would typically soothe me. I want to go home so badly.

oh and to top it off, my mom thinks that it would be a good idea to ask my bitch of a sister (a stupid fucking Harvard know-it-all psychiatrist) if i can get a prescription for meds from her. Uhhh FUCK THAT. I'm currently unmedicated for this stuff. I generally take 5-HTP for my depression which works under normal circumstances but i need to figure out what to do about the panic attacks since they're increasing (due to my stress levels from work) and asking my sister does NOT fit into the equation.

My god, that sounds like pure hell. I feel so sorry for you.

Your mother thinks it's a good idea to get your sister to give you medication? Doesn't she think that's a little weird?

[thespearkid]

i'm seeing a general trend here and people who don't like taking their meds haha. what is it about medication that we hate so much?

[NickLopez]

There are plenty of mood disorders to varying degrees of severity in my family. Meds are alright with me most of the time, but I would imagine it's the feeling of being unable to properly take care of the problem yourself that trips up a lot of people. Reliance on medication to fix attitude leaves one feeling pretty helpless. In my experiences, a lot of people fail to recognize that it's a chemical problem in the brain and that medication, when used properly, isn't so bad. Just so long as it isn't prescribed in haste and regarded as the only solution.

[Richard Maxim]

I've struggled with depression all through out grade school and still sometimes find myself just crying. dude, with the way things are. Everyone will be on antis in a couple of years

[zion the lion]

I've struggled with depression all through out grade school and still sometimes find myself just crying. dude, with the way things are. Everyone will be on antis in a couple of years

There were 6 kids (including myself) in my 4th grade class who were on zoloft. I always thought it was too weird to be a coincidence though, because we all started within two weeks of each other.

[Richard Maxim]

There were 6 kids (including myself) in my 4th grade class who were on zoloft. I always thought it was too weird to be a coincidence though, because we all started within two weeks of each other.
Ever since my fondest memory of art class in 4th grade when my teacher would ask me why i always look so down i've been this way. I used to get picked on really bad from elementary through middle school which sucks that those are the only memories i can really recall.

[zion the lion]

Ever since my fondest memory of art class in 4th grade when my teacher would ask me why i always look so down i've been this way. I used to get picked on really bad from elementary through middle school which sucks that those are the only memories i can really recall.

I've been trying to convince my mom to let me get electroschock therapy, mainly to just get rid of my memories of elementary school. The kids were fucking brutal. I actually remember trying to kill myself when I was 8 because of it.

[Richard Maxim]

I've been trying to convince my mom to let me get electroschock therapy, mainly to just get rid of my memories of elementary school. The kids were fucking brutal. I actually remember trying to kill myself when I was 8 because of it.

The kids in elementary school really traumatized me, it never lets me forget that hate can really come from anywhere. I'll stick with meds, as much as i hate the whole dependency issue. Electroshock therapy isin't for the faint of heart from what i heard, a couple years ago i saw a documentaryabout therapists torturing a few gay college students like that to "convert" them

[zion the lion]

The kids in elementary school really traumatized me, it never lets me forget that hate can really come from anywhere. I'll stick with meds, as much as i hate the whole dependency issue. Electroshock therapy isin't for the faint of heart from what i heard, a couple years ago i saw a documentaryabout therapists torturing a few gay college students like that to "convert" them

Yeah, thats why my mom is so against it, she doesnt want something bad to happen, or for me to loose my memory. I've been on meds half of my life, they're really all I know.

[Richard Maxim]

Yeah, thats why my mom is so against it, she doesnt want something bad to happen, or for me to loose my memory. I've been on meds half of my life, they're really all I know.

When there an easy, less painful way to take care of my problem I'll be all over it. for now, I'll deal.

[lovely864md]

Too lazy to read this whole thread. But anyways my dad is bipolar and has refused treatment for years, so kudos to you for facing it.

[samsara]

I think I would be afraid to take meds because then people could call me crazy.

Simple line: I dont want people to judge me.

[SincerelyMe]

yeah fuck anti-depressants my doctor tried to put me on it too and i refused. he didn't even talk to me about my problems. thats the problem doctors think that a pill is the magical answer for everything. what i did was work out. get exercise eat right and my panic/anxiety subsided and i rarely have problems with it now. only when im hungover i get anxiety. and as far as melatonin do you get crazy dreams, i was thinking about taking some

I've never had any crazy dreams while on melatonin. At least not crazier than they normally are.

[SanePsychotic]

There were 6 kids (including myself) in my 4th grade class who were on zoloft. I always thought it was too weird to be a coincidence though, because we all started within two weeks of each other.

You were put on zoloft in 4th grade? Jeez, that seems awfully early for kids to be on antidepressants. The earliest I've heard is 6th or 7th grade (generally starting in middle school). But you all started within two weeks of eachother? Did something happen in your community or something? That just seems like a really weird coincidence.

[zion the lion]

You were put on zoloft in 4th grade? Jeez, that seems awfully early for kids to be on antidepressants. The earliest I've heard is 6th or 7th grade (generally starting in middle school). But you all started within two weeks of eachother? Did something happen in your community or something? That just seems like a really weird coincidence.

Yeah, and I've been on a mixture of antipsychotics and antidepressants ever since. I'm pretty sure nothing happened. I just had childhood onset schizophrenia, and nobody realized it until it was too late, so they just did the only thing they thought they could, which was to drug me up.

[SanePsychotic]

Yeah, and I've been on a mixture of antipsychotics and antidepressants ever since. I'm pretty sure nothing happened. I just had childhood onset schizophrenia, and nobody realized it until it was too late, so they just did the only thing they thought they could, which was to drug me up.

Gee, that sucks. Hopefully the medication is working out for you and you're not being totally screwed by it like so many other have been. Do you think that had they caught it earlier on that they could have done something else besides the medication? Just curious; I know nothing about schizophrenia in children so I really don't know what else they could have done.

I've been trying to steer away from medication and the like because I'm scared that it'll make me even more screwed up. Then again, I technically haven't been diagnosed with anything but I highly doubt that medication will solve my problem.

[zion the lion]

Gee, that sucks. Hopefully the medication is working out for you and you're not being totally screwed by it like so many other have been. Do you think that had they caught it earlier on that they could have done something else besides the medication? Just curious; I know nothing about schizophrenia in children so I really don't know what else they could have done.

I've been trying to steer away from medication and the like because I'm scared that it'll make me even more screwed up. Then again, I technically haven't been diagnosed with anything but I highly doubt that medication will solve my problem.

Antipsychotics are really expensive, so I basically just have to self medicate with drugs, but the meds I do take dont work. I'm pretty sure they wouldnt have caught it until they did (2 years ago), schizophrenia in children is really rare, and there were so many other things going on (abuse and molestation) in my childhood, so it wasnt really at the top of their list.

Some of my doctors have refused to see me if I'm not on the medication that they pimp out (because the company that makes the meds give them things like samples and pens and shit). I would rather at least pretend like my meds are working than know that they arent and go without them, because I know they're doing something to me (good or bad).

[SanePsychotic]

Antipsychotics are really expensive, so I basically just have to self medicate with drugs, but the meds I do take dont work. I'm pretty sure they wouldnt have caught it until they did (2 years ago), schizophrenia in children is really rare, and there were so many other things going on (abuse and molestation) in my childhood, so it wasnt really at the top of their list.

Some of my doctors have refused to see me if I'm not on the medication that they pimp out (because the company that makes the meds give them things like samples and pens and shit). I would rather at least pretend like my meds are working than know that they arent and go without them, because I know they're doing something to me (good or bad).

I see what you mean about knowing that they're doing something. Though it's just kind of taking them for the sake of taking them, but I guess that means that your doctors will at least see you and get you some help. Do what you can, I suppose.

[zion the lion]

I see what you mean about knowing that they're doing something. Though it's just kind of taking them for the sake of taking them, but I guess that means that your doctors will at least see you and get you some help. Do what you can, I suppose.

Yeah, as pointless as it all is, I have to do at least something to say I tried when all of this is said and done.

[Animalhill]

Yeah, as pointless as it all is, I have to do at least something to say I tried when all of this is said and done.
My attitude exactly.

[maxvsmaradona]

I have depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and an eating disorder. Fun times. Sike.

[SanePsychotic]

Yeah, as pointless as it all is, I have to do at least something to say I tried when all of this is said and done.

That's a great outlook. I wish I thought that way; some days it just doesn't even seem worth it to do anything.

[Animalhill]

I have depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and an eating disorder. Fun times. Sike.
No worries bro- I'm schizo. We're all kind of fucked up in this thread haha

[veronica.mars]

I'm scared of being diagnosed with something, or even misdiagnosed so I've held it off for as long as possible. I really do need to know what's wrong with me now and talk to someone... but without anyone to turn to or any support as far as real friends/family go.. it's just really difficult.
Blah.

[Animalhill]

I'm scared of being diagnosed with something, or even misdiagnosed so I've held it off for as long as possible. I really do need to know what's wrong with me now and talk to someone... but without anyone to turn to or any support as far as real friends/family go.. it's just really difficult.
Blah.
THe best thing you can do is say, "Fuck stigmas" and go talk to someone. It is better to catch something early than let it progress. If I hadn't gone to see someone when I started experiencing auditory/visual halucenations, I would think I was completely losing my mind right now. Which I kind of am, but I know why.

[veronica.mars]

THe best thing you can do is say, "Fuck stigmas" and go talk to someone. It is better to catch something early than let it progress. If I hadn't gone to see someone when I started experiencing auditory/visual halucenations, I would think I was completely losing my mind right now. Which I kind of am, but I know why.

Yeah, that is true. It's better to know and to treat. (:
My cousin was schizophrenic too, it's hard to deal with but at least our family finally knew why he behaved like he did.

[Animalhill]

Yeah, that is true. It's better to know and to treat. (:
My cousin was schizophrenic too, it's hard to deal with but at least our family finally knew why he behaved like he did.
Exactly. Although I can't afford meds, and don't have health insurance so I'm kind of fucked but I have made a lot of lifestyle changes (no more drugs, less alcohol) and started working out. I'm still obviously a weird person, but being open about it with my friends and encouraging Schizo jokes has helped give the stigma less importance in my head.

[veronica.mars]

Exactly. Although I can't afford meds, and don't have health insurance so I'm kind of fucked but I have made a lot of lifestyle changes (no more drugs, less alcohol) and started working out. I'm still obviously a weird person, but being open about it with my friends and encouraging Schizo jokes has helped give the stigma less importance in my head.

That sucks, but as long as you have family and friends to support you and are changing things for the better, that's cool.
I'm kind of worried I won't have support from friends and family, but I guess until I drop the idea of the stigma being important and actually try it, i'll never know.

Can I ask though, does it make you feel bad about yourself that you have a disorder you can't do much about? Or were you able to come to terms with it when you found out?

[Animalhill]

That sucks, but as long as you have family and friends to support you and are changing things for the better, that's cool.
I'm kind of worried I won't have support from friends and family, but I guess until I drop the idea of the stigma being important and actually try it, i'll never know.

Can I ask though, does it make you feel bad about yourself that you have a disorder you can't do much about? Or were you able to come to terms with it when you found out?
This is such a critical question. The BEST thing you can do is not feel bad about yourself. I see my schizophrenia like a physical ailment, like chronic back pain or something- its just something I have to deal with.
There is literally NOTHING I can do to fix the situation- so I proactively provide my family and friends with scenarious that could possibly happen, let them know how to deal with it, and just do my best to be a happy person.

[veronica.mars]

This is such a critical question. The BEST thing you can do is not feel bad about yourself. I see my schizophrenia like a physical ailment, like chronic back pain or something- its just something I have to deal with.
There is literally NOTHING I can do to fix the situation- so I proactively provide my family and friends with scenarious that could possibly happen, let them know how to deal with it, and just do my best to be a happy person.

That's a really good mindset, I'm hoping I can take that up if I have a disorder. And yes, it's best to just get on with life as much as you can in the way you want, that's true.
Thanks for putting a positive side to it (:

[Animalhill]

That's a really good mindset, I'm hoping I can take that up if I have a disorder. And yes, it's best to just get on with life as much as you can in the way you want, that's true.
Thanks for putting a positive side to it (:
:-) haha you caught me on a good day. Some days I am great, and someday's the shit I experience makes Donnie Darko look like fucking Blue's Clues

[zion the lion]

My attitude exactly.

That's a great outlook. I wish I thought that way; some days it just doesn't even seem worth it to do anything.

If I didnt have that outlook, I would have killed myself already or tried more than I have

[Animalhill]

If I didnt have that outlook, I would have killed myself already or tried more than I have
agreed

[maxvsmaradona]

No worries bro- I'm schizo. We're all kind of fucked up in this thread haha

To quote Bob Wiley: "Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I."

[Charles777]

I have extreme social anxiety.

[billyboatkid]

Sadly I think I have or am developing an anxiety disorder.

[jay_klinkhammer]

I have the opposite of social anxiety, I can't stand it if I'm not around someone. I have bad insomnia...maybe that has to do with being unemployed as well, hrm..

[zion the lion]

I cant handle being around people unless I'm high.

[SincerelyMe]

I cant handle being around people unless I'm high.

Same. I'm also better at being around people when I'm high.

[zion the lion]

Same. I'm also better at being around people when I'm high.

I get the shakes and I get nauseous, its weird. But most people i've come in contact with are just dirty pieces of shit so I cant really even try to be around people until i've got something in me.

[SincerelyMe]

I get the shakes and I get nauseous, its weird. But most people i've come in contact with are just dirty pieces of shit so I cant really even try to be around people until i've got something in me.

Same. Pretty much everyone I've ever known is an asshole so it takes a lot for me to want to be around people. And I have pretty bad social anxiety, which really doesn't help. But once I've got a bit of a buzz on I'm much better (or at least a little better).

[Charles777]

Maybe I should start doing crack

[zion the lion]

Maybe I should start doing crack

For five dollars a rock, I would get on that shit if I were you

[Charles777]

For five dollars a rock, I would get on that shit if I were you
That was a joke, haha. I try to stay away from drugs. I'm addicted to better things... Like Caffeine and AP.netz

[SincerelyMe]

That was a joke, haha. I try to stay away from drugs. I'm addicted to better things... Like Caffeine and AP.netz

Caffeine is the best thing I ever got addicted to. I love it.

[Charles777]

Caffeine is the best thing I ever got addicted to. I love it.
There is nothing better than watching a Seth Rogen movie and chugging a 2 liter of Mountain Dew. NOTHING.

[SincerelyMe]

There is nothing better than watching a Seth Rogen movie and chugging a 2 liter of Mountain Dew. NOTHING.

Beg to differ. There's nothing better than watching a Seth Rogen movie with 2 other people and a shitload of weed.

But as far as caffeine goes, it's pretty much what keeps me alive.

[zion the lion]

That was a joke, haha. I try to stay away from drugs. I'm addicted to better things... Like Caffeine and AP.netz

haha I was joking. It's cheap, but it's whack. I'm addicted to god my friend.

[Charles777]

Beg to differ. There's nothing better than watching a Seth Rogen movie with 2 other people and a shitload of weed.

But as far as caffeine goes, it's pretty much what keeps me alive.
Pineapple Express was made for that, I think. Haha
haha I was joking. It's cheap, but it's whack. I'm addicted to god my friend.
http://i43.tinypic.com/2ppn4aw.jpg

[SincerelyMe]

Pineapple Express was made for that, I think. Haha

http://i43.tinypic.com/2ppn4aw.jpg

I actually haven't seen that yet. It's on my list.

That made me lol so hard.

[Charles777]

I actually haven't seen that yet. It's on my list.

That made me lol so hard.
It's really good.

[Five-Star]

Same. I'm also better at being around people when I'm high.

Saaaame, I always get so nervous in big crowds.

[SincerelyMe]

It's really good.

I've heard that from everyone who has seen it.

Saaaame, I always get so nervous in big crowds.

It's not just crowds for me. It's just people in general, especially if I don't know them well. Even if it's just one other person. I get all shaky and nervous and I can't focus on anything and I panic.

[Five-Star]

I've heard that from everyone who has seen it.



It's not just crowds for me. It's just people in general, especially if I don't know them well. Even if it's just one other person. I get all shaky and nervous and I can't focus on anything and I panic.

That happend to me the other day. Left the room and needed to get air.

[SincerelyMe]

That happend to me the other day. Left the room and needed to get air.

It happened to me the first time I took my road test. I almost didn't take another one because of it.

[SanePsychotic]

Pineapple Express was made for that, I think. Haha

http://i43.tinypic.com/2ppn4aw.jpg

Pineapple Express is such a stupid and highly entertaining movie. It's on my "DVDs to buy" list.

And that made me laugh so hard. Nice.:-d

[Animalhill]

To quote Bob Wiley: "Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I."
I never got that joke. *note* I am NOT offended at all: love schizo jokes.
However, it seems like he has it confused with MPD?

[Reaver]

I never got that joke. *note* I am NOT offended at all: love schizo jokes.
However, it seems like he has it confused with MPD?

exactly. it's the same with the t-shirt joke.

[Animalhill]

exactly. it's the same with the t-shirt joke.
That always frustrates me. As does the fact that most people know very little about schizophrenia;
its like, "This is not me, myself and Irene. This is me having trouble concentrating on what you are saying becuase my brain is manufacturing noises in my ears."

[Reaver]

That always frustrates me. As does the fact that most people know very little about schizophrenia;
its like, "This is not me, myself and Irene. This is me having trouble concentrating on what you are saying becuase my brain is manufacturing noises in my ears."

hahaha, wow.

[Animalhill]

hahaha, wow.
???

[Reaver]

???

i didn't quite get the quote. i just thought it was funny. lol

[Animalhill]

i didn't quite get the quote. i just thought it was funny. lol
haha word. I am a weird dude and its too fucking early to be in a cubicle haha

[Reaver]

haha word. I am a weird dude and its too fucking early to be in a cubicle haha

what kind of cubicle do you mean?

[Animalhill]

what kind of cubicle do you mean?
haha like a work cubicle. I work for a corporation in an office. X-)

[Reaver]

haha like a work cubicle. I work for a corporation in an office. X-)

oh, haha. well at least you can be on ap instead of working. ;)

[Animalhill]

oh, haha. well at least you can be on ap instead of working. ;)
Haha well I generally multi-task. AP keeps me sane when I'm all cooped up in a cube for 50 hours a week.

[Reaver]

Haha well I generally multi-task. AP keeps me sane when I'm all cooped up in a cube for 50 hours a week.

now, that doesn't sound so great. just out of curiosity, do you sometimes have hallucinations at work which influence your work or something?

[Animalhill]

now, that doesn't sound so great. just out of curiosity, do you sometimes have hallucinations at work which influence your work or something?
Yeah I did- it sucks haha. Especially when I'm trying to close a 600k deal and all I can hear is a voice screaming, "FEED ME FUCKER!" As I said in this thread before; some days I am totally fine and normal, and some days I experience things that make Donnie Darko look like Blue's Clues.

[Reaver]

Yeah I did- it sucks haha. Especially when I'm trying to close a 600k deal and all I can hear is a voice screaming, "FEED ME FUCKER!" As I said in this thread before; some days I am totally fine and normal, and some days I experience things that make Donnie Darko look like Blue's Clues.

oh my gosh, i had no idea. i think it's cool that you take it easy, haha.

[Animalhill]

oh my gosh, i had no idea. i think it's cool that you take it easy, haha.
Yeah it gets pretty intense. When that kind of stuff happens and I'm on the phone with a customer I generally just say I have a bad connection, can't hear them, and will call them back.

[Reaver]

Yeah it gets pretty intense. When that kind of stuff happens and I'm on the phone with a customer I generally just say I have a bad connection, can't hear them, and will call them back.

sounds like you found a way around it. i'm sorry but i can't help but laugh when thinking of noises screaming "feed me fucker", hahaha. does it make you laugh sometimes or is it just horrible for you?

[Animalhill]

sounds like you found a way around it. i'm sorry but i can't help but laugh when thinking of noises screaming "feed me fucker", hahaha. does it make you laugh sometimes or is it just horrible for you?
Nah man- that voice is MEAN.

[Reaver]

Nah man- that voice is MEAN.

oooh, that sucks...

[Animalhill]

oooh, that sucks...
haha yeah dude, not very fun

[LaDiabla]

haha yeah dude, not very fun

Have you ever had random objects talk to you?

That is freaky.

[Animalhill]

Have you ever had random objects talk to you?

That is freaky.
Yeah I have. Also, like when I'm driving in my car, the noise of my tires on the roads makes words and stuff. I've also recently had visual halucenations.

[LaDiabla]

Yeah I have. Also, like when I'm driving in my car, the noise of my tires on the roads makes words and stuff. I've also recently had visual halucenations.

I get that a lot too.
I had a visual halucination too recently. I'm not a diagnosed shizo though.

[Animalhill]

I get that a lot too.
I had a visual halucination too recently. I'm not a diagnosed shizo though.
The also occur with bipolar disorder- you should get checked out though.
Mine was so fucking unsettling.

[zion the lion]

I sometimes get messages in code from the radio. Crazy shit.

[LaDiabla]

The also occur with bipolar disorder- you should get checked out though.
Mine was so fucking unsettling.

I have Borderline :shrug:

Was is the one you told me about or did you have another one since then?

[Animalhill]

I have Borderline :shrug:

Was is the one you told me about or did you have another one since then?
I can't remember. Did I tell you about the little "shadow man" and the giant spinning octogon in the sky?

[Animalhill]

I sometimes get messages in code from the radio. Crazy shit.
Me too. Sometimes when I'm driving byself I'll blast static and just let my brain have a field day with it

[LaDiabla]

I can't remember. Did I tell you about the little "shadow man" and the giant spinning octogon in the sky?

Yes, thats the one.

[Animalhill]

Yes, thats the one.
Yeah- I've had one other since that, but that one takes the cake in terms of being fucked up/beautiful

[LaDiabla]

Yeah- I've had one other since that, but that one takes the cake in terms of being fucked up/beautiful

I think fucked up/beautiful is pretty much the best way to descibe visual halucinations.
the one I had wasn't as disturbing as the one of yours, but it was still a 'WTF?' thing, but at the same time I actually thought it was kind of cool. Not having halucinations per se, but what I was seeing.

[zion the lion]

Me too. Sometimes when I'm driving byself I'll blast static and just let my brain have a field day with it

I've always hated static, when the people arent talking about me, all I can hear in my mind is static, it's the weirdest thing.

[Animalhill]

I think fucked up/beautiful is pretty much the best way to descibe visual halucinations.
the one I had wasn't as disturbing as the one of yours, but it was still a 'WTF?' thing, but at the same time I actually thought it was kind of cool. Not having halucinations per se, but what I was seeing.
I hear you. Plus, finding beauty in it makes it not so bad.

[Animalhill]

I've always hated static, when the people arent talking about me, all I can hear in my mind is static, it's the weirdest thing.
I can make out words. I also listen to foreign radio and sometimes it makes sense to me. I know its not right, and that I am not translating correctly, but it just makes sense. haha I love how we're all weirdos here :-)

[zion the lion]

I can make out words. I also listen to foreign radio and sometimes it makes sense to me. I know its not right, and that I am not translating correctly, but it just makes sense. haha I love how we're all weirdos here :-)

I used to be fluent in russian and japanese...but I've forgotten most of what I knew. I've had weird/bad experiences with static, it makes me freak out now.

[Animalhill]

I used to be fluent in russian and japanese...but I've forgotten most of what I knew. I've had weird/bad experiences with static, it makes me freak out now.
I guess thats normal? Maybe I'm weird for digging it. haha it just reminds me of the ocean for some reason.

[zion the lion]

I guess thats normal? Maybe I'm weird for digging it. haha it just reminds me of the ocean for some reason.

my ex boyfriend liked it too. I does sound like the ocean, but when I hear it in the car or something I start getting paranoid and look around for my son (who apparently doesnt exist). plus all that crazy stuff started happening in Poltergiest after the tv turned to static haha.

[Animalhill]

my ex boyfriend liked it too. I does sound like the ocean, but when I hear it in the car or something I start getting paranoid and look around for my son (who apparently doesnt exist). plus all that crazy stuff started happening in Poltergiest after the tv turned to static haha.
Haha true

[My Broken Fever]

I guess I shouldn't recommend White Noise?

[Animalhill]

I guess I shouldn't recommend White Noise?
ha ?

[My Broken Fever]

ha ? I know, sorry, I couldn't resist.

[Animalhill]

I know, sorry, I couldn't resist.
No worries sir. I encourage schizo jokes (to an extent) because it takes the stigma out of it.

[Charles777]

Pineapple Express is such a stupid and highly entertaining movie. It's on my "DVDs to buy" list.

And that made me laugh so hard. Nice.:-d
"I go visit her in high school and all the guys she goes to school with are, like, strong and handsome and really, like, funny and do good impressions of Jeff Goldblum and shit like that. And, like, I just feel like a fat, dumb fuckin' stinky-ass turd when I'm there. "

[Animalhill]

"I go visit her in high school and all the guys she goes to school with are, like, strong and handsome and really, like, funny and do good impressions of Jeff Goldblum and shit like that. And, like, I just feel like a fat, dumb fuckin' stinky-ass turd when I'm there. "
hahaha "You're going to go to college, and start listening to Godspeed you Black Emperor and the Shins, and then you'll blow a bunch of guys..."

[Charles777]

hahaha "You're going to go to college, and start listening to Godspeed you Black Emperor and the Shins, and then you'll blow a bunch of guys..."
Excuse me while I go find this movie on the internet and watch it illegally

[Animalhill]

Excuse me while I go find this movie on the internet and watch it illegally
hahaha DO IT

[punk89]

My mind is a mess. Severe anxiety/panic attacks, depression, and bipolar. The insomnia is one of the worst parts of it. At the worst of my craziness, I was hell bent on time traveling.

[LaDiabla]

My mind is a mess. Severe anxiety/panic attacks, depression, and bipolar. The insomnia is one of the worst parts of it. At the worst of my craziness, I was hell bent on time traveling.

Aren't we all?

[Animalhill]

My mind is a mess. Severe anxiety/panic attacks, depression, and bipolar. The insomnia is one of the worst parts of it. At the worst of my craziness, I was hell bent on time traveling.
No worries man. I once thought that I could see atoms and particles of matter, and because of that, undercover feds were after me. I drove from New Hampshire to Tennessee in a craze.

[maxvsmaradona]

No worries man. I once thought that I could see atoms and particles of matter, and because of that, undercover feds were after me. I drove from New Hampshire to Tennessee in a craze.

So, I've read that what goes on with you makes Donnie Darko look like Blues Clues, but how much of that movie would you say is relatable?

[SanePsychotic]

Aren't we all?

I know I sure am. Building a time machine as I type this.

[LaDiabla]

So, I've read that what goes on with you makes Donnie Darko look like Blues Clues, but how much of that movie would you say is relatable?
Just to chime in, you know the like 'light-lines' that come out infront of him? apparently those things are for real.
I know I sure am. Building a time machine as I type this.

kewl, how's it coming along?

[maxvsmaradona]

Just to chime in, you know the like 'light-lines' that come out infront of him? apparently those things are for real.


like the bubbles from his chest? are they really?

[LaDiabla]

like the bubbles from his chest? are they really?

Yup, the 'bubbles' that he follows, that like show where he is going to move to next..
I had a conversation about this with a friend, and he said that he could 'feel' those bubbles/lines if he really concentrated on them and he could walk with his eyes closed and stuff.
Apparently everyone is able of doing that.
I actually tried it and I really think that it is possible.

[AlkalineAshes]

you guys should read about E's dad from the eels. He was a genius physicist who came up with a theory saying there are parallel universes all around us. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_Everett.
crazy or real who knows?

[WakeUpBlondie]

anxiety to the max, not Xanax, but pretty close. Of course mentally it's a bitch, but it's noticeable physically. I always have breathing problems, sometimes leading to panic attacks where i'm on the floor thinking i'm dying. I tried to think my way out of it for 4 years, but finally got medication. It's a lot better know, at least with coping, but i still have my days. I self-medicate, very bad, but cigarettes and alcohol can only alleviate so much anxiety.

Depression too, was very bad for the last five years, don't really want to relive though days.

I've looked into bi-polar, but since i'm only almost 18, i don't know if these emotions are usual or symptons of bipolar, we shall wait and see until i'm developed.

[SanePsychotic]

you guys should read about E's dad from the eels. He was a genius physicist who came up with a theory saying there are parallel universes all around us. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_Everett.
crazy or real who knows?

Believe it or not, my Algebra II teacher told us about this guy last year. It was an interesting discussion. Though it did lead to a lot of "Well, in a parallel universe I DID do my homework, so you should give me credit anyways..." excuses.

[AlkalineAshes]

anxiety to the max, not Xanax, but pretty close. Of course mentally it's a bitch, but it's noticeable physically. I always have breathing problems, sometimes leading to panic attacks where i'm on the floor thinking i'm dying. I tried to think my way out of it for 4 years, but finally got medication. It's a lot better know, at least with coping, but i still have my days. I self-medicate, very bad, but cigarettes and alcohol can only alleviate so much anxiety.

Depression too, was very bad for the last five years, don't really want to relive though days.

I've looked into bi-polar, but since i'm only almost 18, i don't know if these emotions are usual or symptons of bipolar, we shall wait and see until i'm developed.

its good your doing something now. Im 23 and I think made alot of wrong choices due to depression and anxiety. I think I lacked a lot of motivation and only felt good going out if I drank. Wellbutrin helps me with motivation and I still smoke and drink on occasion but not as much. Xanax is good to have once in awhile allso. I never had panic attacks that bad tho luckily. More like "I got the blues, thats me" as conor obesrt says.

[amo.]

anxiety to the max, not Xanax, but pretty close. Of course mentally it's a bitch, but it's noticeable physically. I always have breathing problems, sometimes leading to panic attacks where i'm on the floor thinking i'm dying. I tried to think my way out of it for 4 years, but finally got medication. It's a lot better know, at least with coping, but i still have my days. I self-medicate, very bad, but cigarettes and alcohol can only alleviate so much anxiety.

Depression too, was very bad for the last five years, don't really want to relive though days.

I've looked into bi-polar, but since i'm only almost 18, i don't know if these emotions are usual or symptons of bipolar, we shall wait and see until i'm developed.

wassup my twin?

[amo.]

its good your doing something now. Im 23 and I think made alot of wrong choices due to depression and anxiety. I think I lacked a lot of motivation and only felt good going out if I drank. Wellbutrin helps me with motivation and I still smoke and drink on occasion but not as much. Xanax is good to have once in awhile allso. I never had panic attacks that bad tho luckily. More like "I got the blues, thats me" as conor obesrt says.

speak of the devil. oh conor oberst..

[Animalhill]

So, I've read that what goes on with you makes Donnie Darko look like Blues Clues, but how much of that movie would you say is relatable?
More than you would think. I also have a pretty extreme case though. Some of it is far-fetched, but I have my own Frank (not a giant rabbit though)

[maxvsmaradona]

More than you would think. I also have a pretty extreme case though. Some of it is far-fetched, but I have my own Frank (not a giant rabbit though)

is his name frank, and is he telling you to pull different shenanigans?

[SanePsychotic]

It's 12AM-ish, this thread should be hopping.

[WakeUpBlondie]

Well thanks to anxiety related insomnia, another night I´ll be up till around 4 if i´m lucky.

[AlkalineAshes]

im feeling pleasantly medicated. allthough i dunno how long itll last..

[SanePsychotic]

Well thanks to anxiety related insomnia, another night I´ll be up till around 4 if i´m lucky.

Aw, I'm sorry. Did anything trigger your anxiety or did it just seem to pop out of nowhere?

[thespearkid]

hey guys. i think i may have finally broken my insomnia streak. got to bed at a healthy 3AM-ish last night and i'm already exhausted so i'll probably get to bed at a respectable hour tonight as well.

[SanePsychotic]

hey guys. i think i may have finally broken my insomnia streak. got to bed at a healthy 3AM-ish last night and i'm already exhausted so i'll probably get to bed at a respectable hour tonight as well.

:party:

[thespearkid]

:party:
thanks. i'm thinking my insomnia/anxiety had something to do with some shows i had coming up but now that they're out of the way, i can barely keep my eyes open.

[SanePsychotic]

thanks. i'm thinking my insomnia/anxiety had something to do with some shows i had coming up but now that they're out of the way, i can barely keep my eyes open.

At least you have an idea what the root of your anxiety is. It'd suck to be in a position where you didn't know exactly what triggers it. You'd have almost no way of preventing it.

[maxvsmaradona]

So I honestly think something is wrong with me. I feel wide awake, and I prolly wont go to bed till maybe 5am (it's 12:22). But during the day, I'm exhausted, but can not even nap. And I just been depressed all day.

[thespearkid]

At least you have an idea what the root of your anxiety is. It'd suck to be in a position where you didn't know exactly what triggers it. You'd have almost no way of preventing it.
pretty much. i used to smoke and that helped a lot but ever since i quit, there's really nothing i can do when anxiety hits and i'm not sure why. when i had my first (and hopefully last *knock on wood*) major episode, the smallest things would trigger awful paranoia and anxiety. i used to hide under my blanket for hours at a time because i was afraid my friends were trying to kidnap me and send me to a mental institution.

[SanePsychotic]

So I honestly think something is wrong with me. I feel wide awake, and I prolly wont go to bed till maybe 5am (it's 12:22). But during the day, I'm exhausted, but can not even nap. And I just been depressed all day.

What have you been depressed about? Anything happen recently that could have triggered this depression?

[thespearkid]

So I honestly think something is wrong with me. I feel wide awake, and I prolly wont go to bed till maybe 5am (it's 12:22). But during the day, I'm exhausted, but can not even nap. And I just been depressed all day.
any other symptoms (diet change, anxiety, ridiculous mood swings)?

[maxvsmaradona]

What have you been depressed about? Anything happen recently that could have triggered this depression?

A whole bunch of things. It just keeps building and building, and I have no release for it. It's all pent up. I feel all alone and insignificant, like I don't mean anything to anybody, and it's probably true.

[zion the lion]

I had a horrible day mentally and ended up watching the history channel (the universe!!!!!) most of the time. It's crazy how they bring up these "recent" theories about existence and talk about how unbelievable they are. I always thought they were common knowledge, which makes me think that maybe schizophrenia isnt real, and it was just invented to keep people quiet.

but I'm probably wrong

[SanePsychotic]

pretty much. i used to smoke and that helped a lot but ever since i quit, there's really nothing i can do when anxiety hits and i'm not sure why. when i had my first (and hopefully last *knock on wood*) major episode, the smallest things would trigger awful paranoia and anxiety. i used to hide under my blanket for hours at a time because i was afraid my friends were trying to kidnap me and send me to a mental institution.

Ugh, I know what you mean. I don't have that problem so much anymore, but I felt that way a lot when I was younger. Weird how things manifest from one thing to another as you age. When was this last major episode?

A whole bunch of things. It just keeps building and building, and I have no release for it. It's all pent up. I feel all alone and insignificant, like I don't mean anything to anybody, and it's probably true.

But has there been anything specific that triggers it? If so, you might want to look in that direction and see what you can do about it. If this continues then it might do you go to see a therapist and talk things out with someone who will listen indefinitely.

[SanePsychotic]

I had a horrible day mentally and ended up watching the history channel (the universe!!!!!) most of the time. It's crazy how they bring up these "recent" theories about existence and talk about how unbelievable they are. I always thought they were common knowledge, which makes me think that maybe schizophrenia isnt real, and it was just invented to keep people quiet.

but I'm probably wrong

Ha, that's an interesting theory. And I love the history channel.

[maxvsmaradona]

any other symptoms (diet change, anxiety, ridiculous mood swings)?

Diet change: I'm fat. I eat because I'm depressed. I'm depressed because I eat. It's a vicious cycle.
Anxiety: Not really. Never really experienced anything like that
Mood Swings: Yes. Cursed out my mom for the first time ever tonight. I love my mom, and she just looked so disappointed. I'm just so freaking sad, and tired. Maybe the tylenol w/ codeine elixir will help me get to bed soon.

[thespearkid]

Ugh, I know what you mean. I don't have that problem so much anymore, but I felt that way a lot when I was younger. Weird how things manifest from one thing to another as you age. When was this last major episode?

november, i'd say. it got really, really bad in january and i was diagnosed on february 9th. i almost failed out of college my second semester because of it until i went to all my professors and told them how messed up my semester had been. most of them cut me some slack and let me catch up with extra work. two of them failed me though.

[thespearkid]

Diet change: I'm fat. I eat because I'm depressed. I'm depressed because I eat. It's a vicious cycle.
Anxiety: Not really. Never really experienced anything like that
Mood Swings: Yes. Cursed out my mom for the first time ever tonight. I love my mom, and she just looked so disappointed. I'm just so freaking sad, and tired. Maybe the tylenol w/ codeine elixir will help me get to bed soon.
haha. mood swings were the first sign of my disorder. friends noticed it and asked me to go to therapy. one thing lead to another and, yeah.

[SanePsychotic]

Okay so yesterday I went to my every-other-week therapy session and we actually talked about why I was there. Usually when I go in we just talk about stuff in a generalized sense, but last week my therapist got a bit more specific. Like, I don't really feel comfortable talking about why I'm there but I had to get it off my chest so I did the best I could so he could try to help me figure myself out. He pretty much said that he'd see what he could do but he didn't really think that what I wanted was possible because he'd never treated anyone who was at this point. I was just happy to talk about it (though it was really uncomfortable for me) and went home. Then, later on in the evening after dwelling on what I talked about in therapy my father snapped at me for something and I pretty much just bursted into tears. I felt so bad, but I couldn't help it. He felt really bad about it, like my crying was his fault when it wasn't, he just triggered it. He felt so bad that he took me out for ice cream. I wish I could tell him what was going on, but for some reason I keep thinking that he (and everyone else for that matter) knew the "truth" that they'd go from thinking I'm just "a little different" to a fucking freak. Ugh.

/end rant.

[maxvsmaradona]

It's funny too, or i guess ironic. I'm a psych major and I want to help people with personality and anxiety disorders. and here i am, on the brink of being one of my own subjects.

[SanePsychotic]

november, i'd say. it got really, really bad in january and i was diagnosed on february 9th. i almost failed out of college my second semester because of it until i went to all my professors and told them how messed up my semester had been. most of them cut me some slack and let me catch up with extra work. two of them failed me though.

At least some of them were understanding. I don't blame the others for not being though. It's good that you were honest with them; honesty's a quality that I have yet to acquire.

[maxvsmaradona]

Okay so yesterday I went to my every-other-week therapy session and we actually talked about why I was there. Usually when I go in we just talk about stuff in a generalized sense, but last week my therapist got a bit more specific. Like, I don't really feel comfortable talking about why I'm there but I had to get it off my chest so I did the best I could so he could try to help me figure myself out. He pretty much said that he'd see what he could do but he didn't really think that what I wanted was possible because he'd never treated anyone who was at this point. I was just happy to talk about it (though it was really uncomfortable for me) and went home. Then, later on in the evening after dwelling on what I talked about in theray my father snapped at me for something and I pretty much just bursted into tears. I felt so bad, but I couldn't help it. He felt really bad about it, like my crying was his fault when it wasn't, he just triggered it. He felt so bad that he took me out for ice cream. I wish I could tell him what was going on, but for some reason I keep thinking that he (and everyone else for that matter) knew the "truth" that they'd go from thinking I'm just "a little different" to a fucking freak. Ugh.

/end rant.

I wanna give you a hug.

[SanePsychotic]

It's funny too, or i guess ironic. I'm a psych major and I want to help people with personality and anxiety disorders. and here i am, on the brink of being one of my own subjects.

Good experience? Ha ha?

[SanePsychotic]

I wanna give you a hug.

:hug:

[zion the lion]

Ha, that's an interesting theory. And I love the history channel.

They're talking about parallel universes and a theory about how we are here living on earth, and there are paralell universe versions of us walking around on earth too but in a different dimension (which means there are an infinite number of me in an infinite number of dimensions all living here on earth) and I already thought only saying thought to sound less crazy. I really mean "know" that.

I'm just going to go out on a limb and declare myself a genius.