PDA

View Full Version : Star Struck or Why I Love 1 A.M. Dorm Rooms


punkysmurf
03/01/06, 12:46 PM
Star Struck or Why I Love 1 A.M. Dorm Rooms

It's a flaming star crashing in your eyelids and spilling red sparkle love drug down your chest. It's your face (smiling bright smiling bright smiling bright) framed in my pathetic hands (wrinkled tight wrinkled tight wrinkled tight). It's this feeling of e[iso]lation and love hate circles dancing deadly on dead friends in dead end jobs as the dead lick crosses hoping for salvation. It's songs sung too loud, voices cracking, no one laughing as smoke chokes the anger in a friendly fire alarm. It's sloppy secrets birthed from stinking solace under the summer solstice; whispers waking neighbors, lovers doing favors; no end in sight no end in sight. End in sight so I can kiss the breeze you shoot with loose lips and bony hips (but I am the captain going down with the ship!). It's cut up crater promises making moons of your eyes as I watch and wait for the sun (for the sun! for the son!) to melt the broken glass left by the night. I am the flower that can never bloom with you pacing around the fucking room.

punkysmurf
03/06/06, 12:05 PM
bump.

punkpixie
03/06/06, 12:22 PM
Fucking A.

I love it. It's just my sort of thing. (Read some of mine and you'll see our similarities) hahahaha

a speedo model
03/06/06, 12:48 PM
it's good.

SLADE775
03/06/06, 12:56 PM
Yuck.

This sounds like some drugged out rant seen on a bathroom stall wall.

de la sympathie
03/06/06, 02:53 PM
I like it because it flows so well. Not because it makes sense, which obviously it doesn't. But it was wonderful. Good job.

And I love that last line.

punkpixie
03/06/06, 02:56 PM
I like it because it flows so well. Not because it makes sense, which obviously it doesn't. But it was wonderful. Good job.

And I love that last line.

Yeah. It's hot stuff.

SLADE775
03/06/06, 03:00 PM
Yuck.

This sounds like some drugged out rant seen on a bathroom stall wall.

This is utter honesty

But I'll tone it down in the future folks.

punkpixie
03/06/06, 03:02 PM
This is utter honesty

But I'll tone it down in the future folks.

We never used to tone it down, so if thats your honest opinion then thats ok.

We had the whole asshole thing for a long time and it was funny.

ArTkY_
03/06/06, 03:06 PM
ooo. I liked it. Good first post. Unless you've posted before, then my apologies.

djUbilla
03/06/06, 03:33 PM
Awesome. Very cool descriptions.

swirlofhues
03/06/06, 03:41 PM
I dig. The ending is clipped.

punkysmurf
03/06/06, 03:48 PM
Thanks guys. It actually has some meaning to me, but obviously I was going for word flow and imagery.

apoemtothedead
03/06/06, 06:01 PM
We never used to tone it down, so if thats your honest opinion then thats ok.

We had the whole asshole thing for a long time and it was funny.
good times.

Boring Pop Song
03/06/06, 06:13 PM
yea i definitely liked it, keep posting.