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View Full Version : I am Gilderoy Lockheart (Yo, I spelled that wrong I think, but I'm too lazy to check

OveriseFan
03/01/06, 06:32 PM
in the book) I hate everything but the ending. My curse right now is I write a solid piece with a horrible ending OR I write a lackluster piece with a great ending.

Bah.

This is the latter.

I am Gilderoy Lockheart

I spent last night staring out my window
Looking out at the street where I reside
Each streetlight seemed to flicker on and off
My body filled with heat; Out of joy I cried.

I can't help but feeling as though I am,
The luckiest god-damn man in the world,
While reading my books; looking at pictures
Each hue changed as the room around me swirled.

I still write her a letter everyday.
It gets postmarked, but then I call it back.
My room is filled up to the brim with them
One question still rings out loud in my head:

If they were sent, would I obtain her scent?

Dear Jordyn, there's no need for a reply.
In Dolorosa
03/01/06, 07:10 PM
ehh..
OveriseFan
03/01/06, 07:22 PM
ehh..

You know what? S my D [Just kidding? Unless you want to... then totally.]

Tell me something I don't know, or at least point some shit out. I'm getting sick of this forum to be honest, and I don't need to hear "I like it" or "I don't like it"

(This isn't really towards you, it's towards everyone. Also, forgive me, cause I know I'll regret posting this tomorrow morning.)

That being said, I'm optimistic. Things are looking up.
ArTkY_
03/02/06, 06:19 AM
If they were sent, would I obtain her scent?

Dear Jordyn, there's no need for a reply.

Only good lines, the rest was just... boring.
In Dolorosa
03/02/06, 06:48 AM
yeah just boring doesn't really do anything for me
de la sympathie
03/02/06, 03:01 PM
Eh, I liked it. For the most part. Jordyn = real life/made up name?

It had a good flow, and like Tariq said, I loved the last two lines. I enjoyed it even more because of the Harry Potter reference. But I'm not seeing the Gilderoy Lockhart reference, are you implying that you forget things or are you implying that you have a gorgeous face?

But I really liked this. Good flow, good structure, good work.
de la sympathie
03/02/06, 03:01 PM
yeah just boring doesn't really do anything for me

That STILL doesn't help, you know.
OveriseFan
03/02/06, 03:04 PM
Eh, I liked it. For the most part. Jordyn = real life/made up name?

It had a good flow, and like Tariq said, I loved the last two lines. I enjoyed it even more because of the Harry Potter reference. But I'm not seeing the Gilderoy Lockhart reference, are you implying that you forget things or are you implying that you have a gorgeous face?

But I really liked this. Good flow, good structure, good work.

It's the... cockiness of him, I dunno. This title isn't staying probably.(Maybe I'll use it somewhere else) but I dunno.... it made sense last night, I just can't remember.

And Jordyn is real, not that I wouldn't use it anyway cause I love that name.
ArTkY_
03/02/06, 06:54 PM
LOLZ JAMEZ IZ A LOZAR

I love the letter "z". And at least I used a real name in my last song.

e.g. Edith Bradin

P.S. Why have I started this lyrics/poetry rivalry with you?
OveriseFan
03/02/06, 07:04 PM
LOLZ JAMEZ IZ A LOZAR

I love the letter "z". And at least I used a real name in my last song.

e.g. Edith Bradin

P.S. Why have I started this lyrics/poetry rivalry with you?

(JORDYN is a real name, asshole. I'm not putting her last name cause 1. it disturbs flow. 2. it makes no sense. 3. we know you'd stalk her. :wink: )

And it's because you realized I'm a better writer of you of course. FINALLY. :wink:
Boring Pop Song
03/02/06, 07:14 PM
it's ok. keep working