Friend Zone

[Codi23]

I'm sure a lot of people have had issues with this; is there any good way to get out of the "friend zone"? There are several girls I know that I'm pretty sure have boxed me into this; I'd like to go out with one, but we're pretty good friends, and I don't want to fuck it up...

Any suggestions? I've been crushing on her for a long time. Any tips would be appreciated. :wave:

[live.]

Ignore her

[Reaver]

again a friend zone thread?

well, it's no use, you gotta decide. either you try to forget about your feelings or you make your move.
if you decide to make your move, don't stammer trying to ask for a date. try to impress her and let her know that you want to do her. lol.

[The Pharmacist]

^this

but don't be creepy like i loved you for sooo long...

[killerswells]

search function guyyyy.

[Mirrorsandfevers]

http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=724942

[argg_xo]

please look at the 2 posts above mine and take their advice, it's legit this time.

[Codi23]

search function guyyyy.

Damn it. I searched and nothing came up. I guess I should have tried harder. My bad...

[TMartin442]

the friend zone can be a cold dark place.

[AndrewIcex]

Don't suck at the drums. (noticed your profile picture.)

Girls for whatever weird ass reason, dig good musicians... well any musicians for that matter now that I think about it.

EDIT: Just impress the fuck outta her with good drum skills, if you have any.

[Five-Star]

Friend zone is the last zone.

[Codi23]

Don't suck at the drums. (noticed your profile picture.)

Girls for whatever weird ass reason, dig good musicians... well any musicians for that matter now that I think about it.

EDIT: Just impress the fuck outta her with good drum skills, if you have any.

Hahaha well I definitely don't suck; I've been playing for like 6 years.

But yes, being a musician does help; usually the first thing I mention to try to look oh so impressive...

[FueledByFrodo]

u1guGm0HMlw

[AndrewIcex]

Hahaha well I definitely don't suck; I've been playing for like 6 years.

But yes, being a musician does help; usually the first thing I mention to try to look oh so impressive...
Haha well, that is definitely a way to grab you some ladies.. if you are desperate.

[4N6 science]

Anal and or oral.

[muttley]

Don't suck at the drums. (noticed your profile picture.)

Girls for whatever weird ass reason, dig good musicians... well any musicians for that matter now that I think about it.

EDIT: Just impress the fuck outta her with good drum skills, if you have any.

Sabian B8s aren't very impressive. Haha.
Then again, the chick might not know the difference.

[AndrewIcex]

Sabian B8s aren't very impressive. Haha.
Then again, the chick might not know the difference.
Yeah, most chicks wont notice a difference.. our drummer uses a shine kit, seems really nice to me though.

[muttley]

Yeah, most chicks wont notice a difference.. our drummer uses a shine kit, seems really nice to me though.

I haven't really looked into Shine's drums. I'm sure they've got some good stuff though.

[Codi23]

Sabian B8s aren't very impressive. Haha.
Then again, the chick might not know the difference.

Lmao. shhhhh about the picture....

No, I've got zildjians on there now; PB pros, still not that impressive but I'm not exactly rolling in cash haha. I just like the pic with the sabians. (and no, most chicks don't know specific models).

[intensified]

My vote is to get over it. If you're in the friend zone, you're in the friend zone. There's nothing you can do about it. Yeah, it would be really great if one of them liked you but apparently, they don't. So, your best bet is to either try to fuck up a friendship, making a fool out of yourself in hopes of something happening, or to just be open to other options. There are plenty of other girls out there.

[muttley]

Lmao. shhhhh about the picture....

No, I've got zildjians on there now; PB pros, still not that impressive but I'm not exactly rolling in cash haha. I just like the pic with the sabians. (and no, most chicks don't know specific models).

Haha. Don't worry about. Everyone has to start somewhere.

[tawtaw]

My vote is to get over it. If you're in the friend zone, you're in the friend zone. There's nothing you can do about it. Yeah, it would be really great if one of them liked you but apparently, they don't. So, your best bet is to either try to fuck up a friendship, making a fool out of yourself in hopes of something happening, or to just be open to other options. There are plenty of other girls out there.

Yeah, you're fucked OP.

[intensified]

Yeah, you're fucked OP.

I'm sorry, what?

[Codi23]

Yeah, you're fucked OP.

Oh well, I'm gonna do it within the week probably... I guess I'm fucked??

I think it will probably work out, the other friend zone thread had excellent advice, though :thumbup:

http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=724942

I'm just looking for some tips; the worst that could happen is I get rejected :shrug:.

[AndrewIcex]

I haven't really looked into Shine's drums. I'm sure they've got some good stuff though.
He's actually sponsored by them, so he got to like hand pick what he wanted and got it all for free basically.. he just has to always rep it, and take a lot of promos with them in the picture and he can keep it.. its pretty sweet.

[AndrewIcex]

On the friend zone note... why are guys the ones that are always stuck in the friend zone? Like I never hear about girls being stuck in the friend zone, I am debating on making a thread about this.. hmm..

[Codi23]

On the friend zone note... why are guys the ones that are always stuck in the friend zone? Like I never hear about girls being stuck in the friend zone, I am debating on making a thread about this.. hmm..

You should. I don't know, it seems pretty common for girls, too.

This one girl I went to college with was stuck in the friend zone with pretty much every guy she liked; including me. She would complain about it all the time X-) .

[muttley]

He's actually sponsored by them, so he got to like hand pick what he wanted and got it all for free basically.. he just has to always rep it, and take a lot of promos with them in the picture and he can keep it.. its pretty sweet.

Wow. I'm jealous.
I wish I could get some sponsors/endorsements, but I can't get a band together to save my life.

[OveriseFan]

Don't suck at the drums. (noticed your profile picture.)

Girls for whatever weird ass reason, dig good musicians... well any musicians for that matter now that I think about it.

True story.

[AndrewIcex]

You should. I don't know, it seems pretty common for girls, too.

This one girl I went to college with was stuck in the friend zone with pretty much every guy she liked; including me. She would complain about it all the time X-) .
I have heard of very few cases where its happened.. I mean for the most part guys are the ones that always get caught in it.. most of the time girls get whatever they want, regardless of how attractive they are.. some guy will like them.

Wow. I'm jealous.
I wish I could get some sponsors/endorsements, but I can't get a band together to save my life.
Ha he is kinda ridiculous... he spends too much time playing them, he got into Berklee school of Music, which is kinda crazy.. he is doing stuff online for it right now and going up there occasionally... they work with musicians who want to stay home and play in their band and tour... its such a good and unique school.. he's very talent.

I am sure practice enough and get some guys together to play shows, someone will notice you.

[AndrewIcex]

True story.
Yeah, it blows my mind.. its kinda gotten to the point where its overkill on the musician love, hell I am a musician myself and pretty much sick of it.. I want appreciation for the music itself not the guys in the band.

[muttley]

Ha he is kinda ridiculous... he spends too much time playing them, he got into Berklee school of Music, which is kinda crazy.. he is doing stuff online for it right now and going up there occasionally... they work with musicians who want to stay home and play in their band and tour... its such a good and unique school.. he's very talent.

I am sure practice enough and get some guys together to play shows, someone will notice you.


Congrats on him getting into that school!
Still jealous though... Haha.

[intensified]

I've been in the friend zone a few times.

[AndrewIcex]

Congrats on him getting into that school!
Still jealous though... Haha.
Yeah! I was proud of him haha.

Its understandable, it takes a lot of work to be good.. all you have to do is just practice everyday dude, you can do pretty much anything you want with enough practice.. and get a band together!

I've been in the friend zone a few times.
I made a thread about it.. check it out! Its in PL of course.

[tawtaw]

Oh well, I'm gonna do it within the week probably... I guess I'm fucked??

I think it will probably work out, the other friend zone thread had excellent advice, though :thumbup:

http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=724942

I'm just looking for some tips; the worst that could happen is I get rejected :shrug:.

Good luck nonetheless. Friend zone sucks.

[liquideasy]

I don't know how, but I got two friends who got out of the friend zone. One ended badly, and the other has been going strong for two years. The whole thing's above me.

[the1]

Friend Zone is a bottomless pit.


I say: go for another girl. Then see if you can get the pity fuck from the thread....cos if they like you at all it will be sexually (if it was personality you'd probably be with them).

But then again, I am probably wrong.

[xerovision1]

i've only successfully gotten out of the friend zone once, and now me and that girl never see/talk to each other (but I'm not regretful). it ends up many ways. good luck...

[mmmkaye]

Well, you're mindset of not ruining the friendship is what's putting you there. You have to be able to take risks. If you think she's worth the risk then why not? Also, if you act like a friend then you stay as a friend. Treat her like she's more than a friend so that she'll get the idea. Not unless she's really dumb.

[Codi23]

Update:

Well, I told her how I felt like a week ago while we were hanging out at her house, and there was just this awful silence haha. I was like "Well, okay, guess I shouldn't have said that..." and the rest of the day was just awkward. She proceeded to not communicate with me for like 4 days, and then I talked to her today, and it was like nothing happened. So, yeah, I pretty much got fully rejected; I'm just trying to make sure the friendship doesn't disappear now. I don't regret being honest, but it really pisses me off how she reacted.

That's pretty much it, thought it would work out a little bit better, but can't do anything about it. Friend zones suck. Thanks for the kind words and advice from some of you, though; it helped give me just a little bit more courage to speak up.

[Kill_the_radio]

Anal!

[ikikwe]

Update:

Well, I told her how I felt like a week ago while we were hanging out at her house, and there was just this awful silence haha. I was like "Well, okay, guess I shouldn't have said that..." and the rest of the day was just awkward. She proceeded to not communicate with me for like 4 days, and then I talked to her today, and it was like nothing happened. So, yeah, I pretty much got fully rejected; I'm just trying to make sure the friendship doesn't disappear now. I don't regret being honest, but it really pisses me off how she reacted.


Not surprising. Once you consciously realize you're in the friend zone, there's literally no getting out.

[tawtaw]

It's weird to see someone learning about this at 19...

[Codi23]

It's weird to see someone learning about this at 19...

You serious? Friend zones occur your whole life, you'll see haha. Anyway, I've been in relationships, and I've been friend zoned before, so this isn't anything new. Just thought I'd share the situation and get reactions, or hear some other friend zone stories... it's not exactly a new concept.

[Rey1789]

You've 2 options

1. go for it, fuck up the friendship or maybe it pays off

or

2. forget it cause you might loose a friend

[_brodie_]

It's weird to see someone learning about this at 19...

haha man im still copping this shit at 20. ive been friend zoned with this one chick since i was like 16, then i broke through it for like a month earlier this year and now ive been friend zoned with her again. so thats TWICE. im just that pathetic haha. but yeah, whatever, you get over it i suppose. now we openly talk about the fact that im in love with her and we're just friends, its pretty hilarious (and painful).

[Codi23]

You've 2 options

1. go for it, fuck up the friendship or maybe it pays off

or

2. forget it cause you might loose a friend

I'm pretty much trying to forget about it and cover up that I ever said that haha. I don't want to lose her (or her friends) as a friend, we have way too much fun.

haha man im still copping this shit at 20. ive been friend zoned with this one chick since i was like 16, then i broke through it for like a month earlier this year and now ive been friend zoned with her again. so thats TWICE. im just that pathetic haha. but yeah, whatever, you get over it i suppose. now we openly talk about the fact that im in love with her and we're just friends, its pretty hilarious (and painful).

Yeah, I think friend zones are just a fact of life; I don't think it makes people pathetic either, it's just a really weird situation to be put in. Good to hear you're still on friendly terms with her at least...

[llwilliamsll]

I'm pretty much trying to forget about it and cover up that I ever said that haha. I don't want to lose her (or her friends) as a friend, we have way too much fun.



Yeah, I think friend zones are just a fact of life; I don't think it makes people pathetic either, it's just a really weird situation to be put in. Good to hear you're still on friendly terms with her at least...
If you don't want to lose this friendship, then you forget about it. But the main reason you don't want to lose this friendship is in hopes that it turns into a relationship. Unless you're clear about it, she'll never know and it will just be a long long road of not being able to get over her and dudes upon dudes ramming her. She'll be coming to you after every one that leaves her.

[tawtaw]

haha man im still copping this shit at 20. ive been friend zoned with this one chick since i was like 16, then i broke through it for like a month earlier this year and now ive been friend zoned with her again. so thats TWICE. im just that pathetic haha. but yeah, whatever, you get over it i suppose. now we openly talk about the fact that im in love with her and we're just friends, its pretty hilarious (and painful).

Haha wow, that sounds awful.

[_brodie_]

haha i just worked out how to get out of it. i just called her and said "its too hard being your best friend and being in love with you as well, so goodbye forever" there were tears (hers) and now i really really really fucken regret it.

[Codi23]

haha i just worked out how to get out of it. i just called her and said "its too hard being your best friend and being in love with you as well, so goodbye forever" there were tears (hers) and now i really really really fucken regret it.

I'm guessing it didn't work then? Sounds like a pretty risky move...

[_brodie_]

oh well its not like it didnt work. because it was never my intention for her to be like "oh ok, then lets be more." i just had to be honest with her and myself that part of the friendship is always going to be because i want it to turn into a relationship. it does suck though, a lot.

[Codi23]

oh well its not like it didnt work. because it was never my intention for her to be like "oh ok, then lets be more." i just had to be honest with her and myself that part of the friendship is always going to be because i want it to turn into a relationship. it does suck though, a lot.

Sorry to hear that; that does suck. It's hard to accept that someone doesn't feel the same way about you as you feel about them, I guess just accepting it and moving on is the key to most of these situations. Wayyyy easier said than done, though. I feel your pain :-( .

[maxvsmaradona]

I'm booking myself a one way ticket to the friend zone. I can feel it coming on.

[_brodie_]

I'm booking myself a one way ticket to the friend zone. I can feel it coming on.
dont go there man. i know its hard but you should just bite the bullet man and tell her how you feel. could be good man, have some confidence.

[_brodie_]

oh and as an update to the whole issue with me, i told her i still need to be friends with her, cos shes like my best friend and im in a fucken mental hospital as it is so i need all the friends i can get. she was cool with it and said she would always be here for me. i guess its better to have a friend than nothing.

[tawtaw]

oh and as an update to the whole issue with me, i told her i still need to be friends with her, cos shes like my best friend and im in a fucken mental hospital as it is so i need all the friends i can get. she was cool with it and said she would always be here for me. i guess its better to have a friend than nothing.

http://www.demotivateus.com/posters/friend-zone-demotivational-poster.jpg

[_brodie_]

hahahahaha ohhhh man. wow. you're right. hahahaha thanks.

[iluvAccidents]

I'm sure a lot of people have had issues with this; is there any good way to get out of the "friend zone"? There are several girls I know that I'm pretty sure have boxed me into this; I'd like to go out with one, but we're pretty good friends, and I don't want to fuck it up...

Any suggestions? I've been crushing on her for a long time. Any tips would be appreciated. :wave:


You got a CC?

[Codi23]

You got a CC?

Don't think I know what a CC is... :-|

[iluvAccidents]

Don't think I know what a CC is... :-|
MFer its a credit card

[Codi23]

MFer its a credit card

I can already tell whatever you're going to say is dumb as hell.

Stop talking. (or prove me wrong, and say something intelligent :-d )

[jay_klinkhammer]

Is it odd for you to be with a girl that has a boyfriend.."be" with a girl that has a boyfriend, have her tell the boyfriend, boyfriend is okay with it, then they stay together?

It's a lose-lose situation for meh.

[Codi23]

Is it odd for you to be with a girl that has a boyfriend.."be" with a girl that has a boyfriend, have her tell the boyfriend, boyfriend is okay with it, then they stay together?

It's a lose-lose situation for meh.

Wait, so is she still going to "be" with you? That sounds awkward either way haha.

[Kassie09]

Is it odd for you to be with a girl that has a boyfriend.."be" with a girl that has a boyfriend, have her tell the boyfriend, boyfriend is okay with it, then they stay together?

It's a lose-lose situation for meh.


...that is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard.

[Animalhill]

...that is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard.
I would have to agree with this assertion.

[Ross7406]

Alcohol.

[mymomsapanda]

im starting to hang out with this girl, and i might want something more later on, so should i tell her now, or keep hanging out with her until its more clear

[jay_klinkhammer]

Wait, so is she still going to "be" with you? That sounds awkward either way haha.



...that is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard.

I would have to agree with this assertion.



No, she isn't going to be with me. It happened once...but it looks like we are dating to others. But we are best of friends and I tried to.."cut her off" but she pleaded with me to not do it....she just wants to be in my life and I must admit, I want to be around her as well....even if I have to suck it up.

[Codi23]

No, she isn't going to be with me. It happened once...but it looks like we are dating to others. But we are best of friends and I tried to.."cut her off" but she pleaded with me to not do it....she just wants to be in my life and I must admit, I want to be around her as well....even if I have to suck it up.

Ugh. That sounds pretty rough; but at least you guys are still talking or whatever, could've probably been a lot worse.

[llwilliamsll]

im starting to hang out with this girl, and i might want something more later on, so should i tell her now, or keep hanging out with her until its more clear
Depends on how long you guys have been hanging out. And you're gonna have to read her to see if there is a possibility. Act in a way that shows you are interested in her and see how she responds. If you two just met, then straight out ask if she would like to go out on a date.

No, she isn't going to be with me. It happened once...but it looks like we are dating to others. But we are best of friends and I tried to.."cut her off" but she pleaded with me to not do it....she just wants to be in my life and I must admit, I want to be around her as well....even if I have to suck it up.
lolol I tried that. Waste of my time so I broke it off completely.

[mymomsapanda]

we've been friends for a year, but we've never really hung out. but now she asked me to hang out, and i don't know what that means

[speak easy]

im starting to hang out with this girl, and i might want something more later on, so should i tell her now, or keep hanging out with her until its more clear

just see where it goes dont try to force anything...

[llwilliamsll]

we've been friends for a year, but we've never really hung out. but now she asked me to hang out, and i don't know what that means
Ehh, I'd flirt a lot and kind of make it obvious that you have feelings for her then. But be subtle. Especially if this hanging out is one on one. Throw in the physical aspect of it at times. Tickling or whatever. From there you just have to read her and see if she's digging it or not.

[Trioxide]

we've been friends for a year, but we've never really hung out. but now she asked me to hang out, and i don't know what that means

maybe she just misses your company and nothing more.

[mymomsapanda]

i think its one on one. this would suck so bad if she only misses my company

[Trioxide]

i think its one on one. this would suck so bad if she only misses my company

yes this would suck for you.

But maybe you're lucky and she has realised she likes you and wants to go out and see where it leads.




Oh, i really hope all my male friends who i may not see too often don't think that when i call em up to hang out it means something more than just catching up. Cos that would just be awkward.

[mymomsapanda]

yes this would suck for you.

But maybe you're lucky and she has realised she likes you and wants to go out and see where it leads.




Oh, i really hope all my male friends who i may not see too often don't think that when i call em up to hang out it means something more than just catching up. Cos that would just be awkward.

i hope she's not like you then :)

[Trioxide]

i hope she's not like you then :)

hahah, yes lets hope that.

there are guy friends i have that if they liked me in that kinda way i would tap that in an instant, but i have male friends who i just consider friends and it would just be soooo weird if they suddenly started flirting and acting like they liked me.

Just be careful and see how she acts before you start getting flirty and weird... because you could wreck a good friendship.

[mymomsapanda]

thanks for the advice. hopefully it goes well

[jay_klinkhammer]

lolol I tried that. Waste of my time so I broke it off completely.


I will pay you 100 fake internet dollars to tell me how to successfully do such a thing.

[llwilliamsll]

I will pay you 100 fake internet dollars to tell me how to successfully do such a thing.
Deleted her number, SN, etc. Got rid of anything I would use to contact her. Granted, she was manipulative and treated me pretty shitty, so it wasn't too hard. Also avoided her any way possible.

[jay_klinkhammer]

Deleted her number, SN, etc. Got rid of anything I would use to contact her. Granted, she was manipulative and treated me pretty shitty, so it wasn't too hard. Also avoided her any way possible.


I did that to someone when I was 19 though...and at that time, it seemed selfish.


She doesn't treat me shitty, so maybe I won't do that this time. I appreciate the help though.

[llwilliamsll]

I did that to someone when I was 19 though...and at that time, it seemed selfish.


She doesn't treat me shitty, so maybe I won't do that this time. I appreciate the help though.
Yeah it happened at 19 for me as well. Well 19-20. It was necessary for me and I don't have any regrets. She basically became a slut and contracted HPV. If she doesn't treat you like shit, then by all means continue the friendship. But with those feelings there it's not going to be easy all the times. Granted it shouldn't kill you.

[jay_klinkhammer]

Yeah it happened at 19 for me as well. Well 19-20. It was necessary for me and I don't have any regrets. She basically became a slut and contracted HPV. If she doesn't treat you like shit, then by all means continue the friendship. But with those feelings there it's not going to be easy all the times. Granted it shouldn't kill you.


Oh jeez. Yeah, I think we are dealing with different (using that term loosely) women.

The only time she ever cheated after 3 years with him was with me as far as I know. Now, after it happened..things have not been good for her, even though he won't leave her it seems. I think the fact that she is 18 works against the situation as well...just can't get away from that high school love.

The part that is a true mindfuck is that she would reciprocate touchy feely things...and even had told me she enjoyed "the chase" and that she almost wished he had broke up with her....but that was like a month ago, now it seems as though she would be devastated if they broke up.

Luckily for me, I think a lot of it was infatuation at first for me...so I'm not AS heartbroken as I was let's say a month ago. I tried to cut her off, like I said, and she pleaded with me to not do that...and I still get texts and calls at least once a day from her.




Oh and here is a kicker....there is a chance my best friend's GF may be on the verge of cheating with someone as well...

WOMEN ARE FUCKED. A lot of these girls just need another hobby besides "People".

[Ryzenfall]

Don't suck at the drums. (noticed your profile picture.)

Girls for whatever weird ass reason, dig good musicians... well any musicians for that matter now that I think about it.

EDIT: Just impress the fuck outta her with good drum skills, if you have any.

lol, nice post/usertitle combo.

Also, this does not work.

[AndrewIcex]

lol, nice post/usertitle combo.

Also, this does not work.
Haha thank you, I don't even remember posting that.

That's funny.

[tawtaw]

lol, nice post/usertitle combo.

Also, this does not work.

It totally does at my age.

[Codi23]

It totally does at my age.

It definitely did when I was in high school; most of the girls I know now aren't really impressed with musical ability unless it involves GUITARZ & SINGING!!!! ZOMG HOW DREAMY, AM I RIGHT?!?!?! hahahaha.

You have to be a singer/songwriter to get anywhere now :shrug:. Tough world.

[_brodie_]

haha this is so true. drums just arent getting me where i need to be with girls. im thinking violin maybe. could work on the smart/rich ones.

[AndrewIcex]

Just be in a band if you want attention, every person in a band will get attention.. the lead vocalist may get the most, but his band mates will receive benefits from it.

If you are really desperate that is.

[Codi23]

haha this is so true. drums just arent getting me where i need to be with girls. im thinking violin maybe. could work on the smart/rich ones.

I'm actually learning guitar, so that should be a positive for me hahaha. Hopefully I'll stick with it this time.

Just be in a band if you want attention, every person in a band will get attention.. the lead vocalist may get the most, but his band mates will receive benefits from it.

If you are really desperate that is.

QFT. I was in a band my last few years in high school (ahh, the glory days! hahaha), and it definitely gets you that kind of attention; noticed more at least. We won the school talent show, and we were pretty much small town celebrities after that :-d. We still get together and jam whenever we feel like it, but college is tough to work around.

Anyway, being in a band has it's benefits; other than just a fun way to express yourself haha :-) .

[AndrewIcex]

QFT. I was in a band my last few years in high school (ahh, the glory days! hahaha), and it definitely gets you that kind of attention; noticed more at least. We won the school talent show, and we were pretty much small town celebrities after that :-d. We still get together and jam whenever we feel like it, but college is tough to work around.

Anyway, being in a band has it's benefits; other than just a fun way to express yourself haha :-) .
Well as of now... and for a long time from now, I will hopefully be staying in my band for a while and making a living off of it... but I have so much passion for music, so that is a life I am excited to live.

And I already gots a girl, so no worries there ha.

[thespearkid]

The friend zone cannot be broken.

[AndrewIcex]

Yes, slightly off topic we got there... but still in the same topic.. but anyways.

The friend zone is a black hole basically.

[Trioxide]

Yes, slightly off topic we got there... but still in the same topic.. but anyways.

The friend zone is a black hole basically.

i like that description. very much.

[AndrewIcex]

i like that description. very much.
Thank you, its true though... getting out of a friend zone is nearly impossible.

[MarsEatWorld]

Well as of now... and for a long time from now, I will hopefully be staying in my band for a while and making a living off of it... but I have so much passion for music, so that is a life I am excited to live.

And I already gots a girl, so no worries there ha.

jenn<3

[AndrewIcex]

jenn<3
Hah yup.

[MarsEatWorld]

Hah yup.
Remember that girl that wanted to see you at warped tour or something? hahhahahahahhhahahahaha

[Trioxide]

Thank you, its true though... getting out of a friend zone is nearly impossible.

yeah, the most anyone can expect is a drunken pity fuck... and then straight to the awkward friend zone.

[AndrewIcex]

yeah, the most anyone can expect is a drunken pity fuck... and then straight to the awkward friend zone.
Fuck em then friend zone em? Does that happen?

[vincelac]

Just be in a band if you want attention, every person in a band will get attention.. the lead vocalist may get the most, but his band mates will receive benefits from it.

If you are really desperate that is.
I play trumpet in a ska band.
No attention.
At all.

[phil19]

yeah, the most anyone can expect is a drunken pity fuck... and then straight to the awkward friend zone.

hey, a pity fuck is still a fuck. i can recall many a times when i would have settled for a pity fuck

[AndrewIcex]

I play trumpet in a ska band.
No attention.
At all.
There has to be some? I mean the guys from Streetlight, Less Than Jake, Reel Big Fish and all of them definitely get attention.

Ska just is a tough business to be in I guess.

[vincelac]

There has to be some? I mean the guys from Streetlight, Less Than Jake, Reel Big Fish and all of them definitely get attention.

Ska just is a tough business to be in I guess.
Maybe I just suck with girls?
Idk, it's better to blame me as a person than the whole being in a band thing, I mean the band thing has been proven time and time again?
Whatever, I'm young. I'll find someone one day.

[AndrewIcex]

Maybe I just suck with girls?
Idk, it's better to blame me as a person than the whole being in a band thing, I mean the band thing has been proven time and time again?
Whatever, I'm young. I'll find someone one day.
Yeah sir, give it sometime.. it'll happen, no worries.

[un.Starálfur]

i think its one on one. this would suck so bad if she only misses my company

if she's asking you to hang out and its one on one obviously she has something for you. if you been friends for sometime definitely feel it out first before making any moves. if she being very forward or she's not really showing you any signs make your feelings known. Start verbally complimenting her and make her feel special if you like her and after that it should be smooth sailing if she likes you but don't over do it because it can get kinda cheezy.

[vincelac]

if she's asking you to hang out and its one on one obviously she has something for you. if you been friends for sometime definitely feel it out first before making any moves. if she being very forward or she's not really showing you any signs make your feelings known. Start verbally complimenting her and make her feel special if you like her and after that it should be smooth sailing if she likes you but don't over do it because it can get kinda cheezy.
No.
In my most recent failed attempt, I went to the movies with this girl. It was her idea, she didn't invite anyone else. She and I. Movie theater. I liked her for about 3 or 4 months, at the time of this movie experience. We talked on the phone nearly every night for hours. We get to the movies, and there is a seat that is large enough for two average sized individuals. She says, "Lets sit there!" We sit there. Nothing happens. A week later, she pretty much figures out how I feel, I directly confront her, and pretty much let her know how I'm feeling and whatnot, and she tells me she doesn't feel the same way.

Edit: Then again, you're a girl. You know more than I do about how girls think...

[AndrewIcex]

if she's asking you to hang out and its one on one obviously she has something for you. if you been friends for sometime definitely feel it out first before making any moves. if she being very forward or she's not really showing you any signs make your feelings known. Start verbally complimenting her and make her feel special if you like her and after that it should be smooth sailing if she likes you but don't over do it because it can get kinda cheezy.
How much cheeze is too cheezy?

[vincelac]

How much cheeze is too cheezy?
Depends on the lady.

[un.Starálfur]

No.
In my most recent failed attempt, I went to the movies with this girl. It was her idea, she didn't invite anyone else. She and I. Movie theater. I liked her for about 3 or 4 months, at the time of this movie experience. We talked on the phone nearly every night for hours. We get to the movies, and there is a seat that is large enough for two average sized individuals. She says, "Lets sit there!" We sit there. Nothing happens. A week later, she pretty much figures out how I feel, I directly confront her, and pretty much let her know how I'm feeling and whatnot, and she tells me she doesn't feel the same way.

Edit: Then again, you're a girl. You know more than I do about how girls think...

It could be the awkwardness she started to feel after she asked you out and the body language you gave off to her that made her change her mind. I don't know you personally so I can't judge your personality and if you were being too passive with her. I've been on a few dates where I would meet the guy at first, or be friends with him (but really personally never hung out with him outside a group setting), build up having a crush on him, ask him out myself to show him I am interested and then get all excited about going on a date and wined up being on a date from hell because the guy would be totally non-communicative with me or just answer, "yeah" *smile. and one word responses to every question I ask. "Not fun!" But at least some dates where I've asked a guy out even if were not compatible the guy had enough drive to make-out so the date wasn't a total waste (only if he didn't turn me off by the end of the date.) Some guys don't really know how perverted they can be. A friend of mine tried hooking me up with her boyfriends friend and I thought he was cute and we talked on the phone every night for two weeks but when it came to us going on a date he thought it was okay to do things on a first date that eventually becomes tolerable once a relationship is established and gets comfortable. Not all about it on a first date.

[AndrewIcex]

Depends on the lady.
Explain? Some like cheeze more than others?

[vincelac]

It could be the awkwardness she started to feel after she asked you out and the body language you gave off to her that made her change her mind. I don't know you personally so I can't judge your personality and if you were being too passive with her. I've been on a few dates where I would meet the guy at first, or be friends with him (but really personally never hung out with him outside a group setting), build up having a crush on him, ask him out myself to show him I am interested and then get all excited about going on a date and wined up being on a date from hell because the guy would be totally non-communicative with me or just answer, "yeah" *smile. and one word responses to every question I ask. "Not fun!" But at least some dates where I've asked a guy out even if were not compatible the guy had enough drive to make-out so the date wasn't a total waste (only if he didn't turn me off by the end of the date.) Some guys don't really know how perverted they can be. A friend of mine tried hooking me up with her boyfriends friend and I thought he was cute and we talked on the phone every night for two weeks but when it came to us going on a date he thought it was okay to do things on a first date that eventually becomes tolerable once a relationship is established and gets comfortable. Not all about it on a first date.
She never had a boyfriend before, never kissed a guy, I didn't make a move because I knew she really wouldn't have been into it. She told me she wanted to like me, but she just didn't feel that way, and that she didn't know why, because I'm a great guy and a lot of stuff.
Eh. It happens. But I get depressed when I think about her, so yeah.

[vincelac]

Explain? Some like cheeze more than others?
Some girls like more compliments than others.
Some girls find it awkward if you compliment them a lot.
It depends on the girl, if you're trying to build a relationship, it helps to know how she thinks, what she likes, and what she doesn't like. Some people are very predictable with how they will react to certain things, what they would like / dislike, and all that other stuff. So it really boils down to who the girl is, and what her personal preference is.

Some girls don't want relationships at all. They just want guys to tell them they are pretty, so they feel good about themselves.

[AndrewIcex]

She never had a boyfriend before, never kissed a guy, I didn't make a move because I knew she really wouldn't have been into it. She told me she wanted to like me, but she just didn't feel that way, and that she didn't know why, because I'm a great guy and a lot of stuff.
Eh. It happens. But I get depressed when I think about her, so yeah.
I am going to play the age card here..

You are a youngin' sir, give it time.

[AndrewIcex]

Some girls like more compliments than others.
Some girls find it awkward if you compliment them a lot.
It depends on the girl, if you're trying to build a relationship, it helps to know how she thinks, what she likes, and what she doesn't like. Some people are very predictable with how they will react to certain things, what they would like / dislike, and all that other stuff. So it really boils down to who the girl is, and what her personal preference is.

Some girls don't want relationships at all. They just want guys to tell them they are pretty, so they feel good about themselves.
I think most girls if not all girls like to remove their insecurities with compliments by guys.. its in their makeup I think.

Girls like attention, just like guys love ego boosts.

[vincelac]

I am going to play the age card here..

You are a youngin' sir, give it time.
I know! I just really cared a lot about her. A month after that, I took the girl to junior prom. We were together so often that people asked the both of us on multiple occasions if we were dating. We got invited to places as a couple. She stopped talking to me from May 16th up until a few weeks ago, her family apparently missed me and asked about how I was every now and then. I'm trying not to feel the same way this time, but I'm afraid I'll end up going down the same trail?

I know I've got plenty of time and that I'm only 17 and all that, but I kinda want something to work out? I'm not so great with girls. It doesn't help having zero experience.

[AndrewIcex]

I know! I just really cared a lot about her. A month after that, I took the girl to junior prom. We were together so often that people asked the both of us on multiple occasions if we were dating. We got invited to places as a couple. She stopped talking to me from May 16th up until a few weeks ago, her family apparently missed me and asked about how I was every now and then. I'm trying not to feel the same way this time, but I'm afraid I'll end up going down the same trail?

I know I've got plenty of time and that I'm only 17 and all that, but I kinda want something to work out? I'm not so great with girls. It doesn't help having zero experience.
I had TONS of girls all the time really until I hit 19/20... then I met my current girlfriend who I have been dating for nearly a year and half and live with her now... and things are amazing.. we have our bumps in the road, but really.. its awesome.

At one point, I didn't ever think I wanted a girlfriend, now things have changed... and different things cause situations to arrive, I am sure your situation will come when its time.

[un.Starálfur]

How much cheeze is too cheezy?

Lets say if you are commenting on her outfit, don't repeat your comment to her more than twice on a first date.

Once- It's a compliment
Twice- He think I am beautiful
Three- He wants to get in my pants

but if you do decide to compliment her more than once don't be creepy about it. be sincere!

What's nice... " You look really great/beautiful/pretty/amazing etc. (you can mention the outfit if you want) this evening!"
Wait for her response. Then seal the deal. "You really do, just wanted you to know that!"

Starting a date like that really helps out. It let her know where you stand so if the date does get a little awkward it can work more in your favor if your are more of the shy type on a first date.

[un.Starálfur]

I think most girls if not all girls like to remove their insecurities with compliments by guys.. its in their makeup I think.

Girls like attention, just like guys love ego boosts.


Agreed!

[AndrewIcex]

Lets say if you are commenting on her outfit, don't repeat your comment to her more than twice on a first date.

Once- It's a compliment
Twice- He think I am beautiful
Three- He wants to get in my pants

but if you do decide to compliment her more than once don't be creepy about it. be sincere!

What's nice... " You look really great/beautiful/pretty/amazing etc. (you can mention the outfit if you want) this evening!"
Wait for her response. Then seal the deal. "You really do, just wanted you to know that!"

Starting a date like that really helps out. It let her know where you stand so if the date does get a little awkward it can work more in your favor if your are more of the shy type on a first date.
But girls cannot be THAT easily won, can they?

[AndrewIcex]

Agreed!
Now, what I do not understand... is why?

[un.Starálfur]

No, but small gestures and showing her you are paying attention to her helps out even if you start off a little bumpy. I usually know after a second date if I really like a guy.

[un.Starálfur]

Now, what I do not understand... is why?

Well it works out in both ways. It you have high self-esteem it boosts your ego if you have low self-esteem it helps settle your insecurities if you're nervous going on a date. Compliments and conversation adds comfort and hopefully some laughter and more dates to come in the future.

[AndrewIcex]

No, but small gestures and showing her you are paying attention to her helps out even if you start off a little bumpy. I usually know after a second date if I really like a guy.
2nd date? Seems fair I would say.
Well it works out in both ways. It you have high self-esteem it boosts your ego if you have low self-esteem it helps settle your insecurities if you're nervous going on a date. Compliments and conversation adds comfort and hopefully some laughter and more dates to come in the future.
Compliments from who? Just the male? Or from both parties?

[un.Starálfur]

well if the guy is wanting to make his feelings be known without getting too crazy and still stay in that "friend zone" but with potential to be something more he should be the one complimenting her and wait for her reaction.hopefully if she's feeling you too you would get a compliment, some flirting, good conversation, and if you are lucky some kissing. But if she's stand offish try getting her to talk & vise versa if the girl is looking for something more. If you are also holding back it's kinda hard to get out of "the zone" and it sends the wrong message to both of you. wrong messages are always given if you are holding back and you like someone. that's why if you are interested make an attempt to give her attention.

[AndrewIcex]

I think it is sad that girls receive all the compliments, us guys need some word play love too!

[Codi23]

I think most girls if not all girls like to remove their insecurities with compliments by guys.. its in their makeup I think.

Girls like attention, just like guys love ego boosts.

I think it is sad that girls receive all the compliments, us guys need some word play love too!

I completely agree with these statements; this thread has become way more interesting.

Good points everywhere!

[AndrewIcex]

I completely agree with these statements; this thread has become way more interesting.

Good points everywhere!
Thank you ha, :bow:

[helenkeomany]

www.laddertheory.com


the jump from the friends ladder to the real ladder is explained here. also, the dangers of falling into the abyss.

[tawtaw]

Ladder Theory still terrifies me.

[mymomsapanda]

No.
In my most recent failed attempt, I went to the movies with this girl. It was her idea, she didn't invite anyone else. She and I. Movie theater. I liked her for about 3 or 4 months, at the time of this movie experience. We talked on the phone nearly every night for hours. We get to the movies, and there is a seat that is large enough for two average sized individuals. She says, "Lets sit there!" We sit there. Nothing happens. A week later, she pretty much figures out how I feel, I directly confront her, and pretty much let her know how I'm feeling and whatnot, and she tells me she doesn't feel the same way.

Edit: Then again, you're a girl. You know more than I do about how girls think...


i think she's coming to my house, and we'll be alone in my basement. i don't know if that is really any different than your situation

[vincelac]

i think she's coming to my house, and we'll be alone in my basement. i don't know if that is really any different than your situation
Completely different.

[t_ashley]

God, why cant guys be content w/ the friend zone!?!?!
I lost one of my best friends because he couldnt be, and i went ahead and moved him out...
Dont jizz yourself, the friend zone is how you keep friends.

Those rare cases, when you dont get fucked in the ass because your tired of the "friend" status, are just that: RARE.

[tawtaw]

God, why cant guys be content w/ the friend zone!?!?!
I lost one of my best friends because he couldnt be, and i went ahead and moved him out...
Dont jizz yourself, the friend zone is how you keep friends.

Those rare cases, when you dont get fucked in the ass because your tired of the "friend" status, are just that: RARE.

:hitself:

[Codi23]

Somebody post something positive! Now! hahaha.

[Trioxide]

hey, a pity fuck is still a fuck. i can recall many a times when i would have settled for a pity fuck

Haha, yeah but a simple pity fuck its nothing compared to a passionate lust filled fuck where both people genuinely want to rip each other's clothes because, well, they just do.

Now i understand, drunken pity fucks have both people wanting to rip each other's clothes off because that what booze makes everyone want to do, but in the morning someone wakes up cringing going "OH GOD WHY!"

Fuck em then friend zone em? Does that happen?

Well, yes. You can pity fuck someone you feel nothing for, especially if theyre in the friend zone. You don't have to try as hard and you can put them back in the friend zone, it just might be awkward afterwards.

OR here's the worse one... dating someone, then putting them in the friend zone as a method of break up.

[phil19]

Haha, yeah but a simple pity fuck its nothing compared to a passionate lust filled fuck where both people genuinely want to rip each other's clothes because, well, they just do.

Now i understand, drunken pity fucks have both people wanting to rip each other's clothes off because that what booze makes everyone want to do, but in the morning someone wakes up cringing going "OH GOD WHY!"



Well, yes. You can pity fuck someone you feel nothing for, especially if theyre in the friend zone. You don't have to try as hard and you can put them back in the friend zone, it just might be awkward afterwards.

OR here's the worse one... dating someone, then putting them in the friend zone as a method of break up.

this is true.