Moonlight

[as_we_learn]

I have a new demo thing I'd like people to hear and let me know if i should scrap it or keep on working on it Let me know.

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=130e869c320da3451f8e0fff4 88e27e035dbc846a57b6449c95965eaa7bc 68bc

Lyrics so far:
The sinking fluttered feeling kept my eyes so wide at night. My faith reduced to nothing more than shame, so I inhaled all the pride I could. Kept it in my lungs until I found that I've wasted every ounce on love tonight. I remember when she took her clothes off in the moonlight, the blooming beauty could tear up my mind. I've never felt so damn alive.

[OveriseFan]

I will listen to this soon.

[matt_rawlings]

It is really rough (recording/performance). You sound really shakey, like you're nervous or something?


As for the guitar part, if you tighten up the main acoustic guitar part then it could be a nice little piece. I think you've written better lyrics though

[as_we_learn]

I will listen to this soon.
Thanks a lot James.
It is really rough (recording/performance). You sound really shakey, like you're nervous or something?


As for the guitar part, if you tighten up the main acoustic guitar part then it could be a nice little piece. I think you've written better lyrics though

Yeah this is very very rough did it today to see if i could get a darker feel and make it work, not a strong suit of mine. My vocals are very very bad in this, i need to re-record that when i do an actual song, but I was just wondering if it sounded like it was going in a good direction.

I'll change the lyrics up as well, far too simple.

Thanks again Matt.

[OveriseFan]

I don't mean to change your song if it's not what you want, but I'd recommend letting that distorted (power chords?) guitar carry through after "Damn Alive" and have the distroted solo come over top of that sound. It sounds really thin as it is now, and I think carrying the energy could help it a lot. That's your call though.

Anyway... not sure what to make of this really. The vocals get a little rough, but you've got a good voice. It's a pretty nice demo as of now. I'm looking forward to hearing it finished.

[as_we_learn]

I don't mean to change your song if it's not what you want, but I'd recommend letting that distorted (power chords?) guitar carry through after "Damn Alive" and have the distroted solo come over top of that sound. It sounds really thin as it is now, and I think carrying the energy could help it a lot. That's your call though.

Anyway... not sure what to make of this really. The vocals get a little rough, but you've got a good voice. It's a pretty nice demo as of now. I'm looking forward to hearing it finished.

I wanted the energy as you say over into the rest because it sounds so stripped down. It's a home recording as of now, me and my friend are going to be recording it at his little studio thing he has. Hopefully get the timing and vocals done well.

Anyways, thanks a lot James, hope I don't disappoint.