Ithaca

[Boring Pop Song]

this is something i wrote after standing on a hill which overlooked the beautiful city of ithaca.


The city lights are constellations from up here.
If you look up, the sky is a mirror to you, Ithaca
It feels as if embers will fall through the cracks to incinerate me
But I’m feeling way too alive
The familiar buzz of city cars is dampened up here:
Between the streetlamps and the twilight
Between the coffee shops and clouds
Between conversations and airplanes
I never want to leave you, Ithaca

Up here, each phrase gets stuck the roof of my mouth
To be carried by the breeze like a child to each nearby city.

[Boring Pop Song]

man... i miss the dashtabs.com poetry forums. that was a real poetry forum. people actually posted and were very helpful and left intelligent comments. this place is dead

[SLADE775]

I like it.

Good imagery.

"The familiar buzz of city cars is dampened up here:
Between the streetlamps and the twilight
Between the coffee shops and clouds"

I really like this.

"To be carried by the breeze like a child to each nearby city."

I think you could make this line a little better:

[Boring Pop Song]

I like it.

Good imagery.

"The familiar buzz of city cars is dampened up here:
Between the streetlamps and the twilight
Between the coffee shops and clouds"

I really like this.

"To be carried by the breeze like a child to each nearby city."

I think you could make this line a little better:


thanks a lot man

[cris545]

I never want to leave you, Ithaca

from the rest of the poem I feel like this line is a bit too direct. Maybe you could fix it up or add something to replace it. It's just my opinion though, I may be completely wrong, but other than that I like it. I was at Ithaca for a little over a month and grew really fond of it.

[SLADE775]

from the rest of the poem I feel like this line is a bit too direct. Maybe you could fix it up or add something to replace it. It's just my opinion though, I may be completely wrong, but other than that I like it. I was at Ithaca for a little over a month and grew really fond of it.

Good point.

I agree.

[last light]

good stuff, reminds me sort of a copeland song which is a very good thing

[Darren McLeod]

Yeah, I really like the lyrics. I agree with Slade, that last line seems odd... carried like a child to each city doesn't seem to fit in with the overall feel of the poem.

I really like the line about the sky being a mirror to Ithaca... I thought that was great.

[Boring Pop Song]

Yeah, I really like the lyrics. I agree with Slade, that last line seems odd... carried like a child to each city doesn't seem to fit in with the overall feel of the poem.

I really like the line about the sky being a mirror to Ithaca... I thought that was great.

thanks for catching that