The City Lights

[Azrael]

Haven't posted in here in forever, but i figure, what the hell...No harm.
Anyway, here's something. Any comments and criticism are welcome.

The glow of the cityscape kills the sky
The street lights burn bright
And the stars turn cold as we forget
What’s past the city lights


Caught up in our selfish needs
And troubled by our pointless fights
It’s no wonder we can’t see the stars
Blinded by the city lights


Starless skies (Starless eyes)
Forgotten dreams (Tearing seams)
It’s a wonder we’re still alive


We need to open our eyes
We need to live our lives
We can’t hear the stars whispered cry
Over the roar of the city lights


Starless skies (Starless eyes)
Forgotten dreams (Tearing seams)
It’s a wonder…it’s a wonder…
It’s a wonder we’re still alive
We’re still alive

[Boring Pop Song]

the ideas are really cool, and overall this isn't that bad. just maybe work on how you want to present it more.

[Azrael]

How do you mean?

[SLADE775]

It's cliche in every way.

That's a fact.

Think outside the (Story of the Year, Yellowcard) box.

[Azrael]

Well, I can see how you'd say that..
Although I find both those examples of bands to deal more with emotion, than beliefs or concepts, much less, society.
Also, they usually write their songs as first person narratives.

Anyway, it's hard to escape from labels like that, but I tried, by creating an metaphor.

[SLADE775]

Well, I can see how you'd say that..
Although I find both those examples of bands to deal more with emotion, than beliefs or concepts, much less, society.
Also, they usually write their songs as first person narratives.

Anyway, it's hard to escape from labels like that, but I tried, by creating an analogy.

There are no analogies in your lyrics.

[Azrael]

Hah. Yeah, you're right, my bad, I meant metaphor.

[SLADE775]

Hah. Yeah, you're right, my bad, I meant metaphor.

hahahahaha

You goof!