Mirror Lords

[Ryzenfall]

Light, bordered to the corners
upon it’s altar
speaks
for it is merely the messenger…
“I know you
sitting there, maybe sad.
You are powerful and fair
deserving of everything
need and opulence, enough and more
so I’ve prepared what you seek
the latest thing
now receive it well, the god you are
and call
in the next fifteen minutes.”
Small men, their wives
and clandestine mistresses
scurry to perfected mosques:
Storied walls
or strips of street.
Garner lot from chiming shrines
and trade dollars for deity
to become grasping little gods
of transient dross.
Mirror lords.
Here, where we each hail ourselves
and they nod
and burn to our names,
few can learn to bow.

[fishingthe_sky]

I like this. It's got an interesting idea, and moves about it well.

Two things that aren't working for me are:
1)The bit in quotes. Clearly the scattered diction is indicating some sort of piecing together, but the messenger image might not be enough to get a sense of what exactly is being pieced together. The movement through the pieces feels a little haphazard at times, and is hard to build a cohesive vision from (which is what they all should work to do).
2)"Garner lot from chiming shrines
and trade dollars for deity
to become grasping little gods"
This bit may be too alliterative/assonic (I have no idea what word this would be, but I mean too much assonance). My first read didn't catch it, but my second read did, and when I read it aloud I had to go over it again to see if it was too heavy. I'm still undecided, but it's something worth considering.