the pros and cons of leaving.

[blinkangel_44]

Ok so I've read a lot of posts where people have given good advice and would like some help making a decision.

Anyways Im 19 years old, living in a house I hate. I know thats the typical teenage bullshit you expect out of a kid but I have genuine reasons. First of all my dad has a real anger problem and gets close to hitting once in awhile, and does not provide our family with food or any other necessities. He does this because he waits for me to spend my money. Also my sister steals my money constantly and I have lent over one thousand dollars to my dad over the past six months (none of which has been paid back). This wouldn't bother me except for the fact that they said they would pay me back and I need the money for a new car as mine is falling apart. Lastly I have a girlfriend of over two years who is not allowed over because my dad claims that I spend too much money on her (when in reality all I do is help her with clothes and food, since her family is extremely poor). The main reason is the way my dad screams and claims that he will kill himself, which doesn't provide the stability needed in a parent.

Pros: Genuine Happiness, Ability to see my girlfriend, Less stress

Cons: Inability to pay for college, might cause permanent damage with my relationships with family.


I know this is long, but anyone willing to put their insight in....I'll really appreciate it.
I guess im just trying to find out what kind of validation I have in trying to move out.

[SonEric84]

It sounds like you should move out. I mean it's cool that you're worried about your relationships with your family members, but in the end you have to do what's best for you and worry about your own life/well-being.

[t_ashley]

Ok so I've read a lot of posts where people have given good advice and would like some help making a decision.

Anyways Im 19 years old, living in a house I hate. I know thats the typical teenage bullshit you expect out of a kid but I have genuine reasons. First of all my dad has a real anger problem and gets close to hitting once in awhile, and does not provide our family with food or any other necessities. He does this because he waits for me to spend my money. Also my sister steals my money constantly and I have lent over one thousand dollars to my dad over the past six months (none of which has been paid back). This wouldn't bother me except for the fact that they said they would pay me back and I need the money for a new car as mine is falling apart. Lastly I have a girlfriend of over two years who is not allowed over because my dad claims that I spend too much money on her (when in reality all I do is help her with clothes and food, since her family is extremely poor). The main reason is the way my dad screams and claims that he will kill himself, which doesn't provide the stability needed in a parent.

Pros: Genuine Happiness, Ability to see my girlfriend, Less stress

Cons: Inability to pay for college, might cause permanent damage with my relationships with family.


I know this is long, but anyone willing to put their insight in....I'll really appreciate it.
I guess im just trying to find out what kind of validation I have in trying to move out.


Yeah, i've been thinking about the same thing.

My Mom is an asshole, my sister steals my shit, And my part of the house that we got, gets constantly invaded with the lame excuse that she pays the bills.
I've been looking at apartments myself, and at first i felt really bad about leaving, but really, it just that you have to look at whats best for yourself in some situations.

My Con is mainly ruinning the relationship i have with my mother and sister, but i feel like its better to move out with a level head then to move out rashly and be stuck with the consequences of decisions made too quickly.
Just Get you shit together, and move out when you get stable. Tough it out for a little.

[AndrewIcex]

Yeah sir, it looks like a move out is probably the best decision, spend the money on what you need to spend it on.. not throw it away to family that wont ever help you out.. seems kinda like a waste to me.

[Shroomkilla]

damn thats a rough situation best thing to be would to talk to your dad and tell him that if he doesn't change then your leaving. he might get pissed at first but time will heal most wounds, but your 19 you shouldn't have to put up with that your an adult and are seemingly able to support yourself and as for college, take out a lone its gonna be a bitch to pay back but deff worth it for the education.

[caveBEAR]

As they say in internet-land; GTFO.

The relationship you appear to have with your family now is shit, so ruining that may not be the worst thing in the world for you.

[blinkangel_44]

Thanks you guys, It's cool to know that a few of you put some thought into it.

I actually just got done talking to him and he said he's sick of me (which he has said a couple times this week).
He then told me I'm an idiot and a coward cause i won't call my mom (she lives in Colorado). and tell her that she's a bitch for not sending me out money, when i barely talk to her...im definitely not the type of person who's gonna use family for money.


shits fucked up.
oh welllll.

[t_ashley]

Thanks you guys, It's cool to know that a few of you put some thought into it.

I actually just got done talking to him and he said he's sick of me (which he has said a couple times this week).
He then told me I'm an idiot and a coward cause i won't call my mom (she lives in Colorado). and tell her that she's a bitch for not sending me out money, when i barely talk to her...im definitely not the type of person who's gonna use family for money.


shits fucked up.
oh welllll.

Meh, some dont learn.
exploiting fam?? not cool.

[Shroomkilla]

Thanks you guys, It's cool to know that a few of you put some thought into it.

I actually just got done talking to him and he said he's sick of me (which he has said a couple times this week).
He then told me I'm an idiot and a coward cause i won't call my mom (she lives in Colorado). and tell her that she's a bitch for not sending me out money, when i barely talk to her...im definitely not the type of person who's gonna use family for money.


shits fucked up.
oh welllll.

anytime man! i know it might not help much but it always gives you a fresh perspective or idea!

[thespearkid]

Ok so I've read a lot of posts where people have given good advice and would like some help making a decision.

really?

[blinkangel_44]

Yeah sir, it looks like a move out is probably the best decision, spend the money on what you need to spend it on.. not throw it away to family that wont ever help you out.. seems kinda like a waste to me.

damn thats a rough situation best thing to be would to talk to your dad and tell him that if he doesn't change then your leaving. he might get pissed at first but time will heal most wounds, but your 19 you shouldn't have to put up with that your an adult and are seemingly able to support yourself and as for college, take out a lone its gonna be a bitch to pay back but deff worth it for the education.

really?


ya, overall there's smart people here.

[Jake Denning]

1) Lift weights, so when your dad actually does go after you, he's gonna get his stuff rocked. Learning how to Greco-Roman Wrestle or Judo wouldnt be a bad idea either.

2) Hide your money and when you get enough to where you can safely move out and never come back, GTFO.

x

[stayforawhile]

Just leave.

[resrchmnkygrl6]

As they say in internet-land; GTFO.

The relationship you appear to have with your family now is shit, so ruining that may not be the worst thing in the world for you.
this.
if and when you leave, they may or may not decide how much they really love you and miss you. you leaving may give them the reality check they so desperately need as well as the freedom you need and deserve.
as far as paying for college goes, i'm taking out massive loans. with the money i plan on making with my degree, i try not to stress out about how much debt i'm getting myself into from the get-go. plan on studying in a major that you can not just tolerate, but also give you a lot of options.
good luck!

[Shroomkilla]

this.
if and when you leave, they may or may not decide how much they really love you and miss you. you leaving may give them the reality check they so desperately need as well as the freedom you need and deserve.
as far as paying for college goes, i'm taking out massive loans. with the money i plan on making with my degree, i try not to stress out about how much debt i'm getting myself into from the get-go. plan on studying in a major that you can not just tolerate, but also give you a lot of options.
good luck!

this

[the1]

Just do what feels right.

BUT leave graciously. Dont sever ties!

And most of all- be careful! Good luck though! I can't wait to move out personally, but I'm going to Uni first. Independence is a great thing

[musicroxmysox]

Fuck, you're from Hesperia! You're literally like right next door to me:-d

On topic, I'd for sure leave. You're 19 and don't need to deal with this if it's not totally necessary (which it definitely doesn't seem like it is).

[AJ F]

"When life gives you lemons, just say 'fuck the lemons' and bail".

[Organic_Nomad]

Moving out is amazing. So liberating! Its super stressful and well you might end up living off top ramen [which i think is amazing] and sometimes you don't get to live in the cleanest of places but the satisfaction of knowing you are doing something on your own is way worth it. I decided last year randomly to move from Seattle, WA to Katy, TX....well it was a HUGE adjustment but in the end its soooo worth it. Moving out of the state [if its possible] is even better. You get to make new friends and well...lets face it one thing texas has that seattle doesn't is DRO...mmm humidity+chronic=amazing. :D

[BryterJonah]

exploiting fam?? not cool.
Pfft. Boring people follow boring standards.

[BryterJonah]

Pros: Genuine Happiness, Ability to see my girlfriend, Less stress

Cons: Inability to pay for college, might cause permanent damage with my relationships with family.


Don't be a dumb ass. Your future is worth more than some skank you're more than likely going to leave within ten years. And to say you'd have "genuine happiness"? You sound like the kind of guy who can't have any form of happiness because you're always seeing the worst in things.

Don't pretend running away from your problems will make you any different. You will only be a pessimistic mess in recluse unless you can get over this crap and just think for your greater good and are able to anticipate positive, actual results with ease because you would have spent all your time striving to accomplish these goals.