best possible lines/situations for a porno?

[AlexEnglish]

a friend of mine came up with a few of these.

Best line:
Mother/Son porno: "You havent been in here in a while, huh?"

Best situation:
Goldilocks and the three bears

post away. this thread will probably be a fail anyway

[charmer]

hahaha what about pizza delivery/extra sausage plz.

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

Puss in Boots to Fluffy (featured in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets as the three headed guard dog): "Wanna get me outta my boots so you can eat some Puss?"

[phil19]

would you like cream with that

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

Puss in Boots to Fluffy (featured in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets as the three headed guard dog): "Wanna get me outta my boots so you can eat some Puss?"

OMG, UR SO LAME.

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

OMG, UR SO LAME.

Well, then. Let's fuck. :V

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

Well, then. Let's fuck. :V

LOLOKAY.

[MidCal]

Why are you quoting yourself?

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

Why are you quoting yourself?

Because I get a kick out of it. Like a penny exhausting a mob.

GOTSTA UP THE POOST CUNT TOO U NO?!

[MarsEatWorld]

Why are you quoting yourself?
why is this happening?

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

why is this happening?

I fail to understand the tickleage of "this" in the above post. Why are people questioning my nonsense? Or why am I quoting myself?

[PezMullet]

hahaha what about pizza delivery/extra sausage plz.


NSFW

http://bigsausagepizza.com/

[MarsEatWorld]

I fail to understand the tickleage of "this" in the above post. Why are people questioning my nonsense? Or why am I quoting myself?
I meant this thread..

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

I meant this thread..

Now that it's off-topic and there's something you can do about it... tell me, how was your breakfast today?

[MarsEatWorld]

Now that it's off-topic and there's something you can do about it... tell me, how was your breakfast today?
How is it off topic?

[MADSTA]

"I just finished the design for the new sex building..."
- Lance Hardwood, sex architect

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

How is it off topic?

Well, a good percentage of posts have branched from "Why are you quoting yourself?". I'd like you to notice that these posts are not good porno lines. And neither could they emerge from the sea and fuck a ship.

[MarsEatWorld]

Well, a good percentage of posts have branched from "Why are you quoting yourself?". I'd like you to notice that these posts are not good porno lines. And neither could they emerge from the sea and fuck a ship.
why is this happening could mean manyyyy things. I was merely questioning the existance of the thread.

[intensified]

Ugh, this thread reeks of failure. Thread master must die now.

[charmer]

NSFW

http://bigsausagepizza.com/

I'm hungry.

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

why is this happening could mean manyyyy things. I was merely questioning the existance of the thread.

Then a mere "I OPENLY QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF THIS THREAD WHILE BEING NAKED AT MY COMPUTER TABLE" would have sufficed.

Ugh, this thread reeks of failure. Thread master must die now.

OR, you change the topic now and that is discussed instead.

[intensified]

OR, you change the topic now and that is discussed instead.

Don't quote me, boombox bitch.

[MarsEatWorld]

I OPENLY QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF THIS THREAD WHILE BEING NAKED AT MY COMPUTER TABLE
I OPENLY QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF THIS THREAD WHILE BEING NAKED AT MY COMPUTER TABLE
I OPENLY QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF THIS THREAD WHILE BEING NAKED AT MY COMPUTER TABLE
x

[intensified]

I OPENLY QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF THIS THREAD WHILE BEING NAKED AT MY COMPUTER TABLE
I OPENLY QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF THIS THREAD WHILE BEING NAKED AT MY COMPUTER TABLE
I OPENLY QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF THIS THREAD WHILE BEING NAKED AT MY COMPUTER TABLE
x

Oh, Mars... :slut:

[MarsEatWorld]

Oh, Mars... :slut:
Wanna cum over?

[intensified]

Wanna cum over?

Oh, I'm not wearing much... but, sure. I'll be over in a few. I just have to grab my purse.

[zion the lion]

Oh my god now I know how unbelievably annoying I must be, but I know I'm like this guy times a million. Jesus christ everybody I am soooo sorry.

I was going to at least try to come up with a line/situation, but I cant think of one. Sorry peeps.

[MarsEatWorld]

Oh, I'm not wearing much... but, sure. I'll be over in a few. I just have to grab my purse.
Don't forget your pooch.

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

Don't quote me, boombox bitch.

Whatchoo gonna do, Louisville Kentucky? D:<

I OPENLY QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF THIS THREAD WHILE BEING NAKED AT MY COMPUTER TABLE
I OPENLY QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF THIS THREAD WHILE BEING NAKED AT MY COMPUTER TABLE
I OPENLY QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF THIS THREAD WHILE BEING NAKED AT MY COMPUTER TABLE
x

Hmm.

An "I WANNA WORSHIP YOU WHILE BEING NAKED AT THE COMPUTER TABLE" will also suffice.

[intensified]

Don't forget your pooch.

We have to put this on hold. I have an ass to deal with.

Whatchoo gonna do, Louisville Kentucky? D:<

Seriously. Just deactivate your account.

[MarsEatWorld]

Whatchoo gonna do, Louisville Kentucky? D:<



Hmm.

An "I WANNA WORSHIP YOU WHILE BEING NAKED AT THE COMPUTER TABLE" will also suffice.
nope. sorry bud. I have a friend cummin over....

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

nope. sorry bud. I have a friend cummin over....

It was worth a shot.

Make sure the friend argues into a dear spur.

[MarsEatWorld]

It was worth a shot.

Make sure the friend argues into a dear spur.
I'm about to shoot you.

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

I'm about to shoot you.

...into an orange hoop and score two points as I swish through the Net, I hope.

[Indoor Living]

Guy to girl at bar:

"My dick just died, can I bury it in your asshole?"

[MarsEatWorld]

Guy to girl at bar:

"My dick just died, can I bury it in your asshole?"
ew

[Indoor Living]

ew
You're just mad nobody's used it on you yet.

[quarterhorse101]

You're just mad nobody's used it on you yet.

haha

[Indoor Living]

haha
Alright, good. At least one girl laughed.

[Hermux-Tantamoq]

Alright, good. At least one girl laughed.

"Haha."

Assume I'm a cup.

Now you just need a haha from another girl to say that 2 girls and 1 cup laughed with you.

[quarterhorse101]

Alright, good. At least one girl laughed.

i would love to watch someone use that line.

[zion the lion]

Would "do you want fries with that shake" count?

[PezMullet]

I'm hungry.

Are you hungry for a pizza? A big sausage pizza?

[Indoor Living]

i would love to watch someone use that line.
100% fail rating. There's no way that would ever work, and if it did, I wouldn't sleep with her.

[muttley]

Guy to girl at bar:

"My dick just died, can I bury it in your asshole?"

Classy.

[Reaver]

Oh my god now I know how unbelievably annoying I must be, but I know I'm like this guy times a million. Jesus christ everybody I am soooo sorry.

I was going to at least try to come up with a line/situation, but I cant think of one. Sorry peeps.

nope. that guy is worse.

[Animalhill]

Well its not a line, but some potential titles I have come up with:
Indiana Bone and the Temple of Poon
No Skin, No In (Jewish porno- co/written by my pal GeeBee)

[muttley]

Anal.

[Indoor Living]

Classy.
I'm single, surprisingly.

[MarsEatWorld]

I'm single, surprisingly.
very surprising.

[AndrewIcex]

Person A: "So... you have nice shoe laces.."

Person B: "Do I?!? You wanna touch em'?"

*worst porno music ever*

and its on..

[Indoor Living]

very surprising.


You know you blushed when you read it.

[MarsEatWorld]

You know you blushed when you read it.
possibly. you'll never know

[kdefrisc]

"I just finished the design for the new sex building..."
- Lance Hardwood, sex architect
winner!

[DejaNew]

How did my car keys get in there? Oh well, guess I'll have to fish them out. I don't have enough change for a cab.

[MarsEatWorld]

How did my car keys get in there? Oh well, guess I'll have to fish them out. I don't have enough change for a cab.
That's very disturbing.

[DejaNew]

That's very disturbing.
I was talking about the neighbor's pond, sicko.

[MarsEatWorld]

I was talking about the neighbor's pond, sicko.
still disturbinggg

[DejaNew]

still disturbinggg
How is that disturbing? Guy drops his keys in the neighbor's pond, fishes them out and falls in. When he gets out, there's a naked woman in front of him.
Stuff like this happens every day, you know.

[MarsEatWorld]

How is that disturbing? Guy drops his keys in the neighbor's pond, fishes them out and falls in. When he gets out, there's a naked woman in front of him.
Stuff like this happens every day, you know.
definitely! I even throw hot men's keys in my pond so they have to get it out.

Just making sure everything goes according to plan.

[aolsux]

Black Cock Down

Tagline: "1000 Somalis came and 19 Americans lost their lives in the orgy. Mike Durhandjob was released after 11 days of captivity in bondage. On August 2, 1996, cocklord Mohamed Farrah Jizzim was raped in Mogadouche. General Gayrison retired the following day after a long drawn out suck session.

[Indoor Living]

Black Cock Down

Tagline: "1000 Somalis came and 19 Americans lost their lives in the orgy. Mike Durhandjob was released after 11 days of captivity in bondage. On August 2, 1996, cocklord Mohamed Farrah Jizzim was raped in Mogadouche. General Gayrison retired the following day after a long drawn out suck session.
How much time did you waste on this?

[MarsEatWorld]

Black Cock Down

Tagline: "1000 Somalis came and 19 Americans lost their lives in the orgy. Mike Durhandjob was released after 11 days of captivity in bondage. On August 2, 1996, cocklord Mohamed Farrah Jizzim was raped in Mogadouche. General Gayrison retired the following day after a long drawn out suck session.
that was disturbing to read.

[Kassie09]

This thread made me lol hard on occasion. Ap is so creative and disturbing.

[aolsux]

How much time did you waste on this?
about five minutes, mom would be proud
that was disturbing to read.
you're welcome

[zac_montucky]

I don't have any lines or situations, all I know is that if I ever become a porno "actor", my stage name is gonna be Tony Stark

[Indoor Living]

about five minutes, mom would be proud

you're welcome
It's alright, mine got called disturbing too. Don't feel bad. Haha.

[AlexEnglish]

Black Cock Down

just the name made me lol.

---------------------

56 year old sex offender and 14 year old boy in the same jail cell

56 year old: So.....how'd you get here?
14 year old boy: got caught peeping at the YMCA

[aolsux]

When I am at work, we play the game where we try to make movie titles into porno titles, that was the best one that I ever came up with. The other: Terminate Her: Salivation