boxcar racer
03/29/03, 12:17 PM
me an my girlfriend broke up last night.
it had only been 2 months and a week.. but i had never felt so strongly about anyone in my life...
it was always great, we loved being around eachother, we always had fun, and we were both upset when the nights came to an end...
we got into one little fight about a month and a week into things (i kissed this girl on the check as a joke, cause thats what i do, i joke) and when i saw her i told her, making sure i was the one she heard about it from.. she was a little made, and as the classes passed, seems felt more and more strained.. that night she called and said we should get together and talk about things.. se we met and talked, and everything was great again, and it seemed even better, like a bonding experience.
then last weekend i told her i loved her, and that i had never felt so good with anyone, and blahblahblah, and things seemed great, she said i love you back and said she felt the same way...
the next day we hung out and everything was perfect...
then one monday in school everything seemed great, holding hands between classes, laughing and talking..
same with tuesday, and wednesday
thursday we had a weird conversationg about how sometimes things feel weird sometimes, and about the lack of things to talk about on the phone... we both agreed it was probably due to the fact that we never see eachother outside of school on weekdays, then just end up talking on the phone for a few hours every night...
yesterday roles around(friday)... in the morning, and through out the school day, things seemed great, holding hands in the halls, laughing and talking... then after school, we went to a friends house and were eating pizza, and cake (someones birthday)... and i started to get the feeling that she didnt want to be around me.. like she would rather i werent there... so in the car back to someone elses house things seemed reeeeally strained... we kept getting upset at eachother for the dumbest things and you could tell something was wrong..
we got where we were going.. she went inside and straight onto the computer, on to AIM and started talking to friends, so i asked if anything was wrong and she said everything was fine (i could tell it wasnt and started getting upset)..
blah blah blah, she goes upstairs, starts playing the piano, i followed sat down next to her and started talking...
i asked what was wrong with us today
and told her about the feelings i was having
we really didnt say to much, and didnt get anywhere.. so i got up and said then im just gonna go home, and you can call me if you wanted to talk about it...
i got up and started walking away praying she would ask me to stay so we could talk about it.. she didnt..
i got home, noneone was there.. there was nothing to do, it was only like 7:00.. and i was going crazy, my heart was pounding, i was really scared.. after about a half an hour a called her and the conversation went something like this.
i asked what was going on she said she didnt know and eventually said that that last few days she had been having the feeling she had gotten in past relationships when it just felt like it was over... i asked why she was having this feeling, she didnt know.. so i said, if you dont know, you cant change it, maybe you dont want to.. then its over.. she said nothing, and i said bye and hung up...
now i was really going crazy.. tried to go to bed.. couldnt sleep, i was feeling angry, hurt, scared, lied to, betrayed.... i felt sick to my stomach.. wrote some peotry....
she called me at like 9:00... and said somethings and said she didnt want it to be over... and she started crying, and i broke down, we were both crying and i completly poured my heart out.. told her how much she meant to me, how hurt i was, how much i loved her.... by the end of the conversation i said, well you dont know what you want to do.. so call me when you figure it out...
she said some stuff about feeling overwhelmed...
and all day ive been going crazy, i cant get her out of my head..
my heart stops everytime the phone rings, and she hasnt been one of the people to call yet.. noones called that could tell me anything about was goign on....
i want to talk to her sooo bad and find out whats going on...
but my dads given me some advice and siad i shouldnt call her, he said that what he thinks went wrong between us is that, she had all the control.. i said i love you first and just alot of stuff like that.. he said if i want her back, i need to take back some of that control, i need to make her chase me.. i need to make her love me more then she thinks i love her, no matter how much its killing me right now...
what do yo think??
it had only been 2 months and a week.. but i had never felt so strongly about anyone in my life...
it was always great, we loved being around eachother, we always had fun, and we were both upset when the nights came to an end...
we got into one little fight about a month and a week into things (i kissed this girl on the check as a joke, cause thats what i do, i joke) and when i saw her i told her, making sure i was the one she heard about it from.. she was a little made, and as the classes passed, seems felt more and more strained.. that night she called and said we should get together and talk about things.. se we met and talked, and everything was great again, and it seemed even better, like a bonding experience.
then last weekend i told her i loved her, and that i had never felt so good with anyone, and blahblahblah, and things seemed great, she said i love you back and said she felt the same way...
the next day we hung out and everything was perfect...
then one monday in school everything seemed great, holding hands between classes, laughing and talking..
same with tuesday, and wednesday
thursday we had a weird conversationg about how sometimes things feel weird sometimes, and about the lack of things to talk about on the phone... we both agreed it was probably due to the fact that we never see eachother outside of school on weekdays, then just end up talking on the phone for a few hours every night...
yesterday roles around(friday)... in the morning, and through out the school day, things seemed great, holding hands in the halls, laughing and talking... then after school, we went to a friends house and were eating pizza, and cake (someones birthday)... and i started to get the feeling that she didnt want to be around me.. like she would rather i werent there... so in the car back to someone elses house things seemed reeeeally strained... we kept getting upset at eachother for the dumbest things and you could tell something was wrong..
we got where we were going.. she went inside and straight onto the computer, on to AIM and started talking to friends, so i asked if anything was wrong and she said everything was fine (i could tell it wasnt and started getting upset)..
blah blah blah, she goes upstairs, starts playing the piano, i followed sat down next to her and started talking...
i asked what was wrong with us today
and told her about the feelings i was having
we really didnt say to much, and didnt get anywhere.. so i got up and said then im just gonna go home, and you can call me if you wanted to talk about it...
i got up and started walking away praying she would ask me to stay so we could talk about it.. she didnt..
i got home, noneone was there.. there was nothing to do, it was only like 7:00.. and i was going crazy, my heart was pounding, i was really scared.. after about a half an hour a called her and the conversation went something like this.
i asked what was going on she said she didnt know and eventually said that that last few days she had been having the feeling she had gotten in past relationships when it just felt like it was over... i asked why she was having this feeling, she didnt know.. so i said, if you dont know, you cant change it, maybe you dont want to.. then its over.. she said nothing, and i said bye and hung up...
now i was really going crazy.. tried to go to bed.. couldnt sleep, i was feeling angry, hurt, scared, lied to, betrayed.... i felt sick to my stomach.. wrote some peotry....
she called me at like 9:00... and said somethings and said she didnt want it to be over... and she started crying, and i broke down, we were both crying and i completly poured my heart out.. told her how much she meant to me, how hurt i was, how much i loved her.... by the end of the conversation i said, well you dont know what you want to do.. so call me when you figure it out...
she said some stuff about feeling overwhelmed...
and all day ive been going crazy, i cant get her out of my head..
my heart stops everytime the phone rings, and she hasnt been one of the people to call yet.. noones called that could tell me anything about was goign on....
i want to talk to her sooo bad and find out whats going on...
but my dads given me some advice and siad i shouldnt call her, he said that what he thinks went wrong between us is that, she had all the control.. i said i love you first and just alot of stuff like that.. he said if i want her back, i need to take back some of that control, i need to make her chase me.. i need to make her love me more then she thinks i love her, no matter how much its killing me right now...
what do yo think??