hahahaha @ the movie Orphan

[Drew Beringer]

haha, I have no intentions of seeing this movie, one because it paints a horrible picture of adoption and two it just looks awful. But the twist is hilarious. If you are not planning on seeing this, read the twist and laugh with me. If you are going to see this, you're dumb and should save your money.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/secret-dwarf-hooker#more-16130

[bouttogetfancy]

oh geez.

[MattRM]

Wow.

[aolsux]

hahaha nice

[Drew Beringer]

I mean, I kinda almost want to download this movie just to see that ridiculousness.

[stayillogical]

What's the twist? I can't check the link on my phone.

Also, I like Peter Sarsgaard. Why isn't he getting better roles? Hmm.

[Drew Beringer]

What's the twist? I can't check the link on my phone.

Also, I like Peter Saarsgard. Why isn't he getting better roles? Hmm.
Wait till this fall for An Education, looks to be a great flick. He leads in it.

[anamericangod]

Deadfuck finally made it to the silver screen.

[Drew Beringer]

What's the twist? I can't check the link on my phone.

Also, I like Peter Sarsgaard. Why isn't he getting better roles? Hmm.
oh btw Esther is really a 33-year-old woman who was born with proportional dwarfism which causes her to have the appearance of a child. She also happens to be a former prostitute, who had wealthy pedophiles for clients. The reason why she has her neck covered is because she was once in asylum and she struggled so much in her straitjacket that it left with her deep scars on her neck.

[Manicapathy]

words cannot describe how absolutely restarted this is.

[Thomas Balkcom]

What's the twist? I can't check the link on my phone.

Also, I like Peter Sarsgaard. Why isn't he getting better roles? Hmm.

I really like Sarsgaard as well, he's great in The Salton Sea

[littledudeman]

LOL what the hell!? If that is seriously the ending that's amazingly retarded. I almost want to see this now just to see if that's really how it twists and how they remotely deal with that in any serious fashion.

[billyboatkid]

Holy shit that's terrible. *shakes head

[zubinmoosa]

:rotfl: that's hilarious. Who in hell greenlit this movie? AND gave money to make it? People in Hollywood are nuts

[WakingTheMisery]

I knew Drewb made this thread when I saw the HAHAHAA.

[Talib Scottie]

Wow, ha. So weird. Reminds me of my friend telling me about The Unborn which apparently was about Nazis and Hebrew demons.

[stayillogical]

oh btw Esther is really a 33-year-old woman who was born with proportional dwarfism which causes her to have the appearance of a child. She also happens to be a former prostitute, who had wealthy pedophiles for clients. The reason why she has her neck covered is because she was once in asylum and she struggled so much in her straitjacket that it left with her deep scars on her neck.

Hahahahaha, oh man. That is great.

[Raarzipan]

I literally started laughing out loud when I read that, is that serious? Or just some guy joking? if that is REALLY the movie, oh my god, how the hell did THAT get made into a movie.

[Drew Beringer]

I literally started laughing out loud when I read that, is that serious? Or just some guy joking? if that is REALLY the movie, oh my god, how the hell did THAT get made into a movie.
It's legit.

[more heart]

That sounds fucking ridiculous haha. Glad I'm not seeing it.

[thesafeword]

I can't wait for this to be on HBO at 1 in the morning in a couple of months. Half-awake me is going to find this fucking hilarious.

[popdisaster00]

Read about the twist about 2 weeks ago and thought to myself, how did they green light this.

[avengedtbs]

I kinda want to see it now to see Peter Sarsgaard's reaction to this twist.

[pseudonym28]

oh btw Esther is really a 33-year-old woman who was born with proportional dwarfism which causes her to have the appearance of a child. She also happens to be a former prostitute, who had wealthy pedophiles for clients. The reason why she has her neck covered is because she was once in asylum and she struggled so much in her straitjacket that it left with her deep scars on her neck.

i knew it was going to be somethng like that.

[cirerelleum]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA wow. that is probably the funniest thing i've heard all week. and its a friday!

[whoaisame]

haha, I have no intentions of seeing this movie, one because it paints a horrible picture of adoption and two it just looks awful. But the twist is hilarious. If you are not planning on seeing this, read the twist and laugh with me. If you are going to see this, you're dumb and should save your money.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/secret-dwarf-hooker#more-16130

I heard this was just a rumor and completley untrue.

[heyozzie]

wow. that is ridiculous.

[Drew Beringer]

I heard this was just a rumor and completley untrue.
http://gawker.com/5322122/youll-never-guess-orphans-surprise-ending-because-its-completely-ridiculous

[argg_xo]

holy shit. that is just ridiculous.

[Gaugzilla]

words cannot describe how absolutely restarted this is.
http://www.hardwarezone.com/img/data/articles/2004/1192/15-win10.jpg

[eraserhead]

Twist of the Year

(srsly)

[brentkid]

Holy shit, haha.

[Greg.Kushlan]

Well, the thing is, they fooled everbody. Thats probably all they wanted to do with this movie. I'll see it for $1.50 in a week or two.

[AsItFallsApart]

brilliant. they should've advertised the twist though, think of all the fetishists who are gonna miss out on that

[Vincewithouthee]

Wow. Seriously a movie Awesome-o would come up with.

[Shakriel]

Lame twist. Though admittedly I would never have seen that one coming.

[Cheshire_Buddha]

"I'm not your mommy!"

*breaks neck*

[RockVocalPower]

I saw this tonight. It's awful. The twist is amazingly terrible.

Thankfully we had a great group of people in the audience that made watching it really funny.

[symbiote28]

just read this and all i've to say is are you fucking serious?! hahaha ..

[Greg.Kushlan]

I just realized that this is from Dark Castle, who gave us shit pile remakes of Vincent Price movies. Suddenly I'm not so shocked this was greenlit.

[AP_Punk]

incredible

[RiCCioLi]

i actually like that ending and am pissed I read it, but then again I had absolutely no intentions of seeing that until I read the spoiler. lol

[*crying stars*]

That ending is glorious.

[Skadrist]

Secret dwarf hooker

[MADSTA]

Haha, still going to see it.

[Derka Derka]

who thought that was a good twist in the movie?
it just sounds so ridiculous

[brentkid]

If there was a fun audience in the theater when I went to see this, I can imagine having the time of my life.

[Mitch]

LOL. Reminds me of the movie Don't Look Now except, you know, that movie is actually good.

[fightinirish217]

Sounds interesting.

But in all seriousness, there's a little girl at the summer camp I work at who looks very similar to this girl/crazy dwarf hooker.

Me and all my co-workers say it every day, it freaks us out.

[ThisIsNotDan]

I wasn't sure what movie you were talking about until I saw the trailer again. holy motherfuck that is...I'm at a loss for words right now lol

[andrewshungry]

holy fucking shit. ohhh my god wow. i'm not surprised at all, this movie looked fucking atrocious already. god wow, i almost wanna see it now

[boxingwithstars]

LMAO i had no intention of seeing this, but now i kind of want to.

[Wait_For_It]

Haha, wow. I almost want to see it now because of how ridiculous it is.

[IAPAI]

that is the best ending to any movie.. I am now going to see it JUST to see the secret dwarf hooker

[irthesteve]

hahaha oh my god...

[Mitch]

Oops, I just realized I basically stole the title of this thread for my current status.

[airik625]

Still probably going to see it for the hell of it.

[WhitestKidUKnow]

holy lol.

[briXinRhands]

hahaha how ridiculous. sounds like a good comedy though

[alexa_ATL]

my 14 year old brother thoroughly enjoyed this, so it must suck.

[SlappedActor]

This actually makes me want to see the move MORE. Holy shit, if we got the right people in the theater, it could be one of the funniest experiences ever.

[Until The Bombs]

This looks terrible and like a re-tread of so many other films. Wish Sasgard would have stayed away from it.

[squared82]

haha. That's such a terrible ending.

I work at an adoption agency, and a couple of months ago there were emails going around wanting everyone to boycott the movie because of the image it gives of adoption. I was planning on boycotting it anyway, because it looked terrible.

[xerovision1]

this seemed like a pathetic omen rip-off to me, so I had no intention of seeing it anyway. nice find though.

[sofriggencool]

This actually makes me want to see the move MORE. Holy shit, if we got the right people in the theater, it could be one of the funniest experiences ever.


haha yeah thats pretty much what happened when I saw it. when we found out the amazing twist in the movie everyone started cheering and laughing. and everytime someone died everyone would clap lol.

[tait]

moty

[Bob Payne]

a horrible picture of adoption? who the fuck wants to watch a movie about the joys of adoption? I'm guessing you're adopted, because no one else gives a fuck.

[trappedintime]

And it's getting so much exposure all over the internet. It's freakin' ridiculous.

[samsara]

Ha thats pretty funny.

[Drew Beringer]

a horrible picture of adoption? who the fuck wants to watch a movie about the joys of adoption? I'm guessing you're adopted, because no one else gives a fuck.
what the hell are you talking about? Adopting a child is a wonderful joy, my little sister is adopted from China, so I take a personal issue with that. Other than an outrageously stupid twist, this movie paints a negative image.

[Bob Payne]

what the hell are you talking about? Adopting a child is a wonderful joy, my little sister is adopted from China, so I take a personal issue with that. Other than an outrageously stupid twist, this movie paints a negative image.

It's a movie about a demonic little girl. This isn't a 'negative depiction' of adoption. It's not a fucking propaganda film, it's a horror movie. You're trying to make a connection that doesn't exist. All the adoption thing is, is a plot point to get the shit film rolling.

[Drew Beringer]

It's a movie about a demonic little girl. This isn't a 'negative depiction' of adoption. It's not a fucking propaganda film, it's a horror movie. You're trying to make a connection that doesn't exist. All the adoption thing is, is a plot point to get the shit film rolling.
There is definitely a connection, it's probably way numerous adoption groups are protesting it. Just because you don't see it or think there is one doesn't mean there isn't.

[Bob Payne]

There is definitely a connection, it's probably way numerous adoption groups are protesting it. Just because you don't see it or think there is one doesn't mean there isn't.

Stupid special interest groups protest films on a regular basis. It doesn't make their claims any more viable. Like I said, this movie isn't a social critique on the process of adoption, it's a horror/thriller film. I'm guessing you agree with the protests of movies like Tropic Thunder (http://www.military.com/entertainment/movies/movie-news/disability-groups-protest-tropic-thunder), or Blindness (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/03/arts/03arts-BLINDNESSMOV_BRF.html), (first two i found on a basic google search), because it's the exact same thing; you just happen to be involved with the cause in some way, so you have to cry "offensive!"

But whatever. Feel free to rebutt*. I'll read it, but won't reply because this is just one of those arguments where neither person will make the other change their opinion.


*definitely not a word.

[Drew Beringer]

Stupid special interest groups protest films on a regular basis. It doesn't make their claims any more viable. Like I said, this movie isn't a social critique on the process of adoption, it's a horror/thriller film. I'm guessing you agree with the protests of movies like Tropic Thunder (http://www.military.com/entertainment/movies/movie-news/disability-groups-protest-tropic-thunder), or Blindness (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/03/arts/03arts-BLINDNESSMOV_BRF.html), (first two i found on a basic google search), because it's the exact same thing; you just happen to be involved with the cause in some way, so you have to cry "offensive!"

But whatever. Feel free to rebutt*. I'll read it, but won't reply because this is just one of those arguments where neither person will make the other change their opinion.


*definitely not a word.
I'm not offended by it, and I know many films have special interest groups protest them. I am not protesting against it, I just think it paints a negative image, no matter how little of a social critique it has. The original poster for this movie has the tagline "It must be hard to love an adopted child as your own" before changing it to "There's something wrong with Ester." What if my sister see these and thinks that she won't loved as much because she was adopted or think there is something wrong with her because she was adopted. That's a big deal to me.

[Bob Payne]

The original poster for this movie has the tagline "It must be hard to love an adopted child as your own" before changing it to "There's something wrong with Ester."

Hahahah, wow. Never saw this, but yeah, I'll definitely admit that's way over the line.


edit: hahaha's only because I can't believe they actually thought they'd get away with that marketing campaign.

[emkvetwin]

Wow. Seriously a movie Awesome-o would come up with.

"Okay, how about this. Adam Sandler... is an girl... who gets adopted... and turns out to be... a secret dwarf hooker... or something."

" ... That's perfect! We'll call it Orphan!"

[Lifesnatcher]

haha, I have no intentions of seeing this movie, one because it paints a horrible picture of adoption and two it just looks awful. But the twist is hilarious. If you are not planning on seeing this, read the twist and laugh with me. If you are going to see this, you're dumb and should save your money.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/secret-dwarf-hooker#more-16130


wowwww.
i'm so fucking glad i didn't pay to be pissed off in the theater.
that's the dumbest thing i have ever heard of.

[Smash Adams]

so how did that make her evil? there are plenty of happy Russian midget whores trust me I know

[TJ Wells]

OH MY GOD YES. I GOT IT.

Add me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/secretdwarfhooker

[a speedo model]

OH MY GOD YES. I GOT IT.

Add me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/secretdwarfhooker
hahahahahahaha :appl: awesome

[TJ Wells]

hahahahahahaha :appl: awesome
I don't know the last time I was this gleeful.

[a speedo model]

I don't know the last time I was this gleeful.
I would have not even thought of that, haha. Congrats.

[eucademix]

hahahaha, wtf at the twist.

[mena]

When the whole theater is laughing instead of screaming or freaking out over the "scary" parts, you know you've fucked up.

Wasted $7 on this. I could've written a better movie. Fuck it.

[anthonydarko]

Proof that the horror genre has hit an all time low. Good god that is terrible, worse then the twists in the last few M. Night Shyamalan movies.

[Divinehand]

This guy gives Shyamalan a run for his money.
BAHA

[Protested Hero]

L-oh-fucking-L at the twist.

[Miss Heartcore]

oh btw Esther is really a 33-year-old woman who was born with proportional dwarfism which causes her to have the appearance of a child. She also happens to be a former prostitute, who had wealthy pedophiles for clients. The reason why she has her neck covered is because she was once in asylum and she struggled so much in her straitjacket that it left with her deep scars on her neck.
What

the

FUCK.

[bard]

drew's new avatar is the singular best part of that whole DVD.

kudos my good friend, kudos

[WordzandDreamz]

i don't understand why people are harping so much on the ridiculousness of the twist when they can be harping on the fact that Peter Sarsgaard is in the film. That is the real question. Why would he do it?

[Thomas Balkcom]

i don't understand why people are harping so much on the ridiculousness of the twist when they can be harping on the fact that Peter Sarsgaard is in the film. That is the real question. Why would he do it?

my thoughts exactly

[SkyHeldUpByStar]

i don't understand why people are harping so much on the ridiculousness of the twist when they can be harping on the fact that Peter Sarsgaard is in the film. That is the real question. Why would he do it?
Hahaha, THANK YOU. I actually came in here to pose that very question...

[n1asfan]

Hahaha, that is incredibly lame.

[sokonfused]

haha. that is so ridiculously stupid.

[danielineffigy]

I would never have expected that lol.

[Chemical Love]

Haha fucking dumb ass movie.

[drudo182]

Just watched this. Wasn't as bad as I expected.

[stayillogical]

OH MY GOD YES. I GOT IT.

Add me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/secretdwarfhooker

Hahahaha TJ. I never noticed the URL on your facebook.

[dpatrickguy]

Hilarious movie. Highlight was definitely "You pissed yourself."

[jeremyfromva]

I'm watching this movie right now, and this is hilarious. I already knew she was an adult but didn't know the midget whore part...PRICELESS.

But seriously, the movie matchstick men had a similar twist, but it was believable because they used an actual adult female.

[SAMeSAM]

The movie is actually pretty decent. Not gonna win awards or anthing, but... It kept me interested.

[jeremyfromva]

Hilarious movie. Highlight was definitely "You pissed yourself."

NO. The best part was definitely "What did you do to him you bitch?" *SLAP*

[jeremyfromva]

Lame...That prostitute whore bitch killed Peter Sarsgard.

[love_american_style]

shes was an adult the entire time lolol totaly saw that coming.