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View Full Version : With each turn of the hour hand, I realize the end is near.


OveriseFan
03/14/06, 06:29 PM
Need to fix the rhythm, other than that I'm happy.

They're hanging nooses to the stands
Where they used to burn the witches
Before they "realized" that magic doesn't exist.
But if the magic's gone then what is this?
We'll burn the gallows, cut the ropes,
Forget everything she ever wrote,
Cause who watches that show anyway?
Who cares about cliches anyway?

She called out to me from the windowsill
Where she always sat and watched the world
For her parents never let her venture out
Into something so romantical
That her name would eventually resound
Loud and strong from the books
That people have up on their shelves,
Never to be read, only to show off,
How intelligent and prestigious they are.
Well isn't that want you want my darling?
Isn't that all you are my darling?


So around quarter to six the execution comes:
Watch as we both fade into the golden sunset.

SLADE775
03/15/06, 08:36 AM
I like it James.

Reminds me of Coheed a little (which is a compliment)

This whole part is very well written:

She called out to me from the windowsill
Where she always sat and watched the world
For her parents never let her venture out
Into something so romantical
That her name would eventually resound
Loud and strong from the books
That people have up on their shelves,
Never to be read, only to show off,
How intelligent and prestigious they are.
Well isn't that want you want my darling?
Isn't that all you are my darling?

Rating - :)

Boring Pop Song
03/15/06, 09:12 AM
yeah i like this. second stanza is very strong

ArTkY_
03/15/06, 09:21 AM
Yessssssss! Good stuff James. Your first brilliant piece in a while.

cris545
03/15/06, 11:19 AM
I really like this, good job james :)

wyverna
03/15/06, 11:27 AM
I really enjoyed reading this, especially the last two lines.

OveriseFan
03/15/06, 12:35 PM
w00t.

(And I see you two reading it, I expect comments :wink:)

OveriseFan
03/15/06, 12:35 PM
I'll be paying everyone back, but if you post something new you want me to see PM me.

de la sympathie
03/16/06, 04:53 PM
The first REALLY decent thing I've seen of yours in a couple weeks, I truly loved it. Great work.

a speedo model
03/17/06, 06:45 AM
i agree, it's very good. i liked the last two lines alot. keep it up.

aCe_
03/17/06, 07:16 AM
Wow..this is brilliant.

OveriseFan
03/17/06, 06:16 PM
Wow..this is brilliant.

brilliant

/Ron Weasley.

aCe_
03/17/06, 10:11 PM
brilliant

/Ron Weasley.Yes exactly. :thumbsup: