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Jali
08/05/09, 01:08 PM
Where to start?

I think I'll start with Lemons, because people always pick up on the lyrics to that song.

Shoving lemons up yer ass,
Spend all your life humping grass.

Live a little,
Shove a lemon up yer ass,
Don't be shy,
Shove a lemon up yer ass.

Some say life is harsh,
They can shove a lemon up their ass,
Some do it slow, some do it fast,
but they're all shoving lemons up their ass!

Live a little,
Shove a lemon up yer ass,
Don't be shy,
Shove a lemon up yer ass.

Activities from dirty homos,
Some use carrots, some use dildos,
Some do it fast some do it slow,
But they're all shoving lemons up their holes.

Live a little,
Shove a lemon up yer ass,
Don't be shy,
Shove a lemon up yer ass.
Live a little,
Shove a lemon up yer ass,
Don't be shy,
Shove a lemon up yer ass.



Uhh, what next? I know, Suburban Gangsta (this one's about me when I was 13/14)

They call me the suburban gangsta,
When they can't remember my name,
They think of me as some chubby fuckin wanksta,
I never really played their game!

Where do I come from?
NN12, the place where not even the poor kids fuckin fend for emselves!
Where do I come from?
Towcester, Heard of it? Didn't think so, now lets go, roll it like that shit!

They call me the suburban gangsta,
When they can't remember my name,
They think of me as some chubby fuckin wanksta,
I never really played their game!

If you ask ppl how I rhymed the other night,
they'd say "who? Oh him, yeah, he's allright",
"nothin against him but he's a little bit dull m8,
wait, he was the rapper from hull, right?"

They call me the suburban gangsta,
When they can't remember my name,
They think of me as some chubby fuckin wanksta,
I never really played their game!

In Towcester we don't have no pimps, no g's,
but we do have ludicrous numbers of OAPS,
But ever since ive been into this rappin game,
Ive been down with every fukka with a zimmer frame

OAP's!
Senior C's!
Zimmer Frees!

I'm the suburban gangsta,
Ok I'm a pretentious wanksta,
At least I aint no middle-class pranksta!

They call me the suburban gangsta,
When they can't remember my name,
They think of me as some chubby fuckin wanksta,
I never really played their game!


Uhh, Gay Sheep, this one was inspired by the headline "Football Player steals Gay Sheep"

Gay sheep, whaddya wear,
Bah Bah, woolly frock,
Gay sheep, whaddya want,
Bah Bah, woolly cock!

Gay Sheep in my way,
Gay Sheep, football game,
Gay sheep in my way,
So steal that fucking gay!

Football where do you play,
Kick Kick, in the hay,
Football, whaddya play,
Kick Kick you sheepish gay!

Gay Sheep in my way,
Gay Sheep, football game,
Gay sheep in my way,
So steal that fucking gay!

Bah Bah, Come out the barn,
Bah Bah, Out on the farm.


Gay Sheep in my way,
Gay Sheep, football game,
Gay sheep in my way,
So steal that fucking gay!

as_we_learn
08/05/09, 01:16 PM
This reminds me that we need a mod, anyone want to volunteer?

Ryzenfall
08/05/09, 01:28 PM
This reminds me that we need a mod, anyone want to volunteer?

After the volunteer confirms, this will be /thread.

Jali
08/06/09, 06:25 AM
This reminds me that we need a mod, anyone want to volunteer?
Oh sorry, I was under the impression that this was a punk forum.

BryterJonah
08/06/09, 06:54 AM
What the fuck is this shit?
Oh sorry, I was under the impression that this was a punk forum.
You spelled "retarded twat" wrong. And no, we don't cater to your kind.

Jali
08/06/09, 07:17 AM
What the fuck is this shit?
Who pissed in your corn flakes?!

You spelled "retarded twat" wrong. And no, we don't cater to your kind.
My kind? Oh, you mean people who aren't pretentious and allow themselves to have fun writing lyrics!

BryterJonah
08/06/09, 07:29 AM
My kind? Oh, you mean people who aren't pretentious and allow themselves to have fun writing lyrics!
I'm sure every rapist has fun raping women. And I'm sure some fetishists could wank to the guy's acts with no problem.

Still doesn't make up for being a rapist.

Jali
08/06/09, 07:49 AM
I'm sure every rapist has fun raping women. And I'm sure some fetishists could wank to the guy's acts with no problem.

Still doesn't make up for being a rapist.
Yes, because writing mildly humorous lyrics really equates to rape doesn't it. Let me guess, you'd have preferred a series of pretty much nonsensical metaphors that are so abstract you can relate to it, if for no other reason than they could be about anything.
That about right?

I write these songs because I'm sick of everyone taking music so seriously. Obviously I expected the flaming though, 1. because I don't attempt to be intellectual, 2. because this is the internet where people can get away with saying pretty much anything without getting glassed in the face and 3. because I make a few gay jokes which make people go "oh noez heez a homophobe", well I can tell you now, I'm not a homophobe but it doesn't mean I can't take the piss.

BryterJonah
08/06/09, 07:50 AM
"Gay" means awesome in my book, and you sir are not gay.

Jali
08/06/09, 07:55 AM
Gay means awesome in my book, and you sir are not gay.
Wow, that makes no sense! Gay means awesome in your book? I suggest you get a new book, maybe one that makes use of the English language a little bit better. What, did you just read the word gay, mull it over for about 2 seconds and then come up with that generic, mediocre insult. Well if we are going to do that, then in my book, awesome means a putrid smelling heap of pigs' faeces packaged into a 25 year old used condom, rotting away in the festering mouth of a crack whore, and you are definitely awesome.

BryterJonah
08/06/09, 08:02 AM
Was high school just too much for you?

Jali
08/06/09, 08:16 AM
Was high school just too much for you?
What?! Where did that come from?! Seems like you're just pulling insults out of the air now! I guess I should make a witty comeback but that was so retarded it doesn't really deserve it!

Hunt147
08/06/09, 11:59 AM
What?! Where did that come from?! Seems like you're just pulling insults out of the air now! I guess I should make a witty comeback but that was so retarded it doesn't really deserve it!

Jali you should shove a lemon up your ass!

Jali
08/06/09, 12:05 PM
Jali you should shove a lemon up your ass!
You know, when you use my lyrics to insult me, its more like a compliment. Even if those lyrics were inspired by what was already a fairly generic insult. (shove funny item into ass)

Meh, what did I expect from a forum with the world's most emo slogan.

Hunt147
08/06/09, 12:07 PM
You know, when you use my lyrics to insult me, its more like a compliment. Even if those lyrics were inspired by what was already a fairly generic insult. (shove funny item into ass)

Meh, what did I expect from a forum with the world's most emo slogan.

I'm glad you feel complimented :-).