11 months later, still exiting before I get too close

[iHATEapril]

Thanks for taking the time to check it out. I hope it's not goofy.


The year is one third over
Yet I still find 05 in everything
Across the tops of papers
And in every song I sing
In the year that passed
I found so many firsts
I broke into this world
To come out of it much worse


And in remembering a child: scared and dying to grow up
I wonder how it ended, I wonder how you call this love?
How it went from innocence and fear of just one kiss
To nights behind the shed that I'm forced now to forget
And when I think so clearly to one year ago today
I was learning what love was
I was growing the right way
And as March comes to a close, and the days of April begin
I don't even know, if I can ever make this right again

So in remembrance of those days
In which I felt alive
I will close my eyes and pray
To get her out of my life


edit-tried to take out the goofy part about the sea, made some small changes, took out the unnecessary fuck. Let me know what you guys think, and thanks for the good words.

[a speedo model]

it's good. it needs work though, parts of it are kinda cliche. but there are some really good lines in it. work on it. i really like the line: "i broke into this world, to come out of it much worse"

[Slaytus]

yeahh the cliche lines kinda overlapped the good lines but like speedo said that one line really grabbed my attention. develop from that idea

[apoemtothedead]

iHATEthetitle

[iHATEapril]

iHATEthetitle

you sorta have to believe me in saying its related, but titles don't ever make sense anymore do they lol?, what do you think of the song??

[OveriseFan]

you sorta have to believe me in saying its related, but titles don't ever make sense anymore do they lol?, what do you think of the song??

Actually, Mark's just the forum asshole.

Like everyone's said, the cliche is overlapped by the good.

However, kudos on the rhyming, it was effective, catchy, and not too predictable or forced(Though there's a part where it is, fix it)

Maybe I'll look at this again tomorrow.