Existentialism Is for Cool Cats

[tommy's ghost]

Let’s start wearing dream-catcher earrings
And fall asleep in tanning-beds.
Let’s start tearing wings from books
And paste minimalistic rips from yore-
(A bulimic lighter interrupts with its flickering anxiety;
making the stream of consciousness respond.
Making it melt like a celluloid song
that’s been left out to float up to the sun.)
We are an army of captains.
We are extroverted scarecrows
That pepper our self-important bilge
With hyphens and metaphysical peripherals.
Meta-hip, self-aware oeuvres:
This indulgence is your hors d'oeuvre.
Existentialism is for cool cats,
But it’s oft as genuine and convenient as mythozoophilia.

[a speedo model]

Let’s start wearing dream-catcher earrings
And fall asleep in tanning-beds.
Let’s start tearing wings from books
And paste minimalistic rips from yore-
(A bulimic lighter interrupts with its flickering anxiety;
making the stream of consciousness respond.
Making it melt like a celluloid song
that’s been left out to float up to the sun.)
We are an army of captains.
We are extroverted scarecrows
That pepper our self-important bilge
With hyphens and metaphysical peripherals.
Meta-hip, (aware of being) self-aware oeuvres:
This indulgence is your hors d'oeuvre.
Existentialism is for cool cats,
But it’s oft as genuine and convenient as mythozoophilia.
I enjoyed this. It didn't feel like there was much to critique, it's short and straight forward. A few of the lines were thin and perhaps could be worded differently. But for what it was, I enjoyed it. There are some really interesting ideas you put forth and some really nice imagery. Some though did feel a bit too simple and out of place. Overall, good job though. This was nice.

[tommy's ghost]

I enjoyed this. It didn't feel like there was much to critique, it's short and straight forward. A few of the lines were thin and perhaps could be worded differently. But for what it was, I enjoyed it. There are some really interesting ideas you put forth and some really nice imagery. Some though did feel a bit too simple and out of place. Overall, good job though. This was nice.

I think this might be the most positive critical comment I've ever gotten on here. I feel...accomplished. Haha. Thank you for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed.

[a speedo model]

I think this might be the most positive critical comment I've ever gotten on here. I feel...accomplished. Haha. Thank you for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed.
You're welcome. The only real problem with it is it feels like you are trying very hard at times to sound smart. :shrug: But still I enjoy parts of this a lot. Nicely done.

[fishingthe_sky]

You frustrate me in a not so bad way. I get frustrated because you clearly have a good sense of poetics with your ability to create interesting images and your good diction. On the other hand (and this is something I've said before, so sorry for sounding like a broken record), what exactly your poems are about are never clear other than tangential relationships between images/lines. It's a lot like trying to put together a coherent picture using pieces from different puzzles; the end result is not in focus. I also agree with speedy that sometimes your lines come off as contrived.

[tommy's ghost]

You frustrate me in a not so bad way. I get frustrated because you clearly have a good sense of poetics with your ability to create interesting images and your good diction. On the other hand (and this is something I've said before, so sorry for sounding like a broken record), what exactly your poems are about are never clear other than tangential relationships between images/lines. It's a lot like trying to put together a coherent picture using pieces from different puzzles; the end result is not in focus. I also agree with speedy that sometimes your lines come off as contrived.

Haha! I'm sorry for being so cryptic, but I guess that's become an element in my pieces, hasn't it? This poem is a parody of myself. I catch flack for coming off as pseudo-poetic, being overtly verbose, and thinking too much about life in general.

[fishingthe_sky]

Haha! I'm sorry for being so cryptic, but I guess that's become an element in my pieces, hasn't it? This poem is a parody of myself. I catch flack for coming off as pseudo-poetic, being overtly verbose, and thinking too much about life in general.
Cryptics are good to a certain extent, but not to the degree where it makes your poem in a sense unreadable. There's nothing wrong with burying certain ideas/meanings, but if you're to engage the reader you need to make these things (relatively) easy to decipher. Poetry should be a dialogue, not a calculus problem. But I say these things because I WANT you to engage us, because I think it would be good.