Caspian, Kill The Captain

[dashboard1190]

"caspian, kill the captain" she said to me.
we rode off into the distant landscape
the sky ablaze with the stars burning bright

"caspian, kill the captain" was shouted across the bay.
the green light illuminating the dark night sky.
the girl is what you want, not the friends or the life.

"caspian, kill the captain" written on the wall of a cement garage.
it wreaks of sweat and blood.
do not talk about caspian.

"caspian, kill the captain" was all he thought of flying back home.
the elipsis, the girl, and the infinite abyss.
so much to do, so much to live for.

Okay, so the last three stanzas are pop culture references (in order: The Great Gatsby, Fight Club, Garden State).

I don't think that there is much cohesiveness, but I still like the idea.

Comments?

[parallelism]

I like this a lot.
It may not be completely cohesive, but that works in the piece's favor.
It leads us all to draw our own parallels, and it's a lot better than way, anyways.

I'm glad somebody knows how to make references to pop-culture without being horrible and/or cliche and/or really blatantly obvious.

[a speedo model]

not bad.

[dashboard1190]

I like this a lot.
It may not be completely cohesive, but that works in the piece's favor.
It leads us all to draw our own parallels, and it's a lot better than way, anyways.

I'm glad somebody knows how to make references to pop-culture without being horrible and/or cliche and/or really blatantly obvious.

thanks. that means a lot to me.

[Boring Pop Song]

i think it's pretty decent. keep posting, i'm interested.

[dashboard1190]

i think it's pretty decent. keep posting, i'm interested.

thanks.