View Full Version : Help me invent the cure to wash out my memory (Do you ever get over your first love?)
So until I met this girl, I had nothing I could look back on my life at that point and say I was proud of. We just happened into the relationship and for the first year and a half it was amazing; then she had to leave for College. We tryed the long distance thing, and it was working, but then she decided that one day she didn't want a relationship of the seriousness we were having, she just needed to be doing her own thing in college. (Now I know how that sounds, she just wants to fuck around? Nah she isn't like that, and to this day she still isn't in a relationship so thats somewhat comforting haha.) So anyways I had to let her go, what else could I do. This was right after we got back from vacation on Thanksgiving, she was coming home a few days later for Christmas as well. So we didn't see each other all Christmas break, and ending up hanging out the last couple of nights before she left. I was her, and she was my, real first love, I had never experienced any feeling like this before it was incredible. Fast forward to present day, 7 months later, and I still feel like shit, like the day after it happened. Granted time has helped, its really not so hard anymore, its still an incredible burden on my day, and no matter what, its always on the back of my mind. I can guarantee from here til the day I die that girl will have a piece of my heart. My question is, does anybody really ever get over their first true love, because at this point, I can't see it happening at all in the near future for me.
thespearkid
08/12/09, 09:35 PM
To answer the thread's title question, yes, you do.
i still think about a girl who i was my first love. only thing is, i wasnt hers. she was in my dreams last night actually. and its beens 7 years.
vincelac
08/12/09, 09:40 PM
So as I'm reading this, Moshi Moshi (Acoustic) came on and that made me feel 10 times worse for you.
I don't have any experience with relationships, so I can't really give great advice, but what I can say is, do let her hold you back. If there is someone who seems interested in you, give them a chance, because even if she is still on your mind, you can't let that hold you back.
And in the Brand New thread, you said you'd give anything for her to say a word to you.
Why don't you start conversation?
So as I'm reading this, Moshi Moshi (Acoustic) came on and that made me feel 10 times worse for you.
I don't have any experience with relationships, so I can't really give great advice, but what I can say is, do let her hold you back. If there is someone who seems interested in you, give them a chance, because even if she is still on your mind, you can't let that hold you back.
And in the Brand New thread, you said you'd give anything for her to say a word to you.
Why don't you start conversation?
Cuz after it happened everything wasn't so peachy, she won't even talk to me anymore. I tried yesterday (On my birthday haha) to no avail, I was hoping to meet up with her before she left back to Austin and I to Dallas, but I don't think I'll get the oppurtunity. Yea, Moshi Moshi, I been listening to that one alot lately haha.
i still think about a girl who i was my first love. only thing is, i wasnt hers. she was in my dreams last night actually. and its beens 7 years.
Thats the worst part, I can make it through the day ok, but its at night when Im dreaming that they just run wild about her. I wake up in such a good mood because of the dreams, only to realize that they are just dreams. Thats a sinking feeling.
Matt Chylak
08/12/09, 09:43 PM
to answer your question: i haven't, some people do.
boysandbulletsx
08/12/09, 09:45 PM
Yes. You'll get over that "first love" when you find someone new to love and that someone loves you back. Your first love may always hold a little place in your heart, but your love for that person won't be as consuming once you have a new person to love. At least that's the way I see it.
Or you could turn to alcohol.
vincelac
08/12/09, 09:46 PM
Cuz after it happened everything wasn't so peachy, she won't even talk to me anymore. I tried yesterday (On my birthday haha) to no avail, I was hoping to meet up with her before she left back to Austin and I to Dallas, but I don't think I'll get the oppurtunity. Yea, Moshi Moshi, I been listening to that one alot lately haha.
Shit. After the breakup and whatnot, did you give her some space?
Yes. You'll get over that "first love" when you find someone new to love and that someone loves you back. Your first love may always hold a little place in your heart, but your love for that person won't be as consuming once you have a new person to love. At least that's the way I see it.
Or you could turn to alcohol.
Me and Bulleit Whiskey get along just fine.
Shit. After the breakup and whatnot, did you give her some space?
yea man alot, especially for the month right after it happened the time between the breakup, her coming home from school, and going back, that was all space, then after we got together those couple nights we talked for a few days after she went back really intimately, but after that I just kinda got self obsorbed in it and acted like a dick.
Thats the worst part, I can make it through the day ok, but its at night when Im dreaming that they just run wild about her. I wake up in such a good mood because of the dreams, only to realize that they are just dreams. Thats a sinking feeling.
yeah exactly. same thing happens to me all the time. i think you just have to accept that despite how you feel, its not going to happen and move on. she can still hold a place in your heart forever, even if you're with someone else.
boysandbulletsx
08/12/09, 09:51 PM
Me and Bulleit Whiskey get along just fine.
Then you're settled!
vincelac
08/12/09, 09:56 PM
yea man alot, especially for the month right after it happened the time between the breakup, her coming home from school, and going back, that was all space, then after we got together those couple nights we talked for a few days after she went back really intimately, but after that I just kinda got self obsorbed in it and acted like a dick.
Ah, I really don't know what to tell you, worst case scenario, she doesn't care as much as you do.
That's never a good time, I've experienced it before. Not fun at all.
Matt Chylak
08/12/09, 09:57 PM
yea man alot, especially for the month right after it happened the time between the breakup, her coming home from school, and going back, that was all space, then after we got together those couple nights we talked for a few days after she went back really intimately, but after that I just kinda got self obsorbed in it and acted like a dick.
i've had this sort of relationship with a girl for years. you never know how its gonna work out. what'd she say yesterday?
random: i'm listening to degausser acoustic. its making me as sad as moshi moshi acoustic
RiCCioLi
08/12/09, 09:59 PM
i still think about my first love a lot. we've tried to be friends many times over the years, but its just too hard. i think unfortunietly the answer is no, but u will eventually find others.
Ah, I really don't know what to tell you, worst case scenario, she doesn't care as much as you do.
That's never a good time, I've experienced it before. Not fun at all.
Yea I have kinda gathered that much.
i've had this sort of relationship with a girl for years. you never know how its gonna work out. what'd she say yesterday?
random: i'm listening to degausser acoustic. its making me as sad as moshi moshi acoustic
Nothing she didn't answer. listening to Play Crack the Sky on shuffle = fail.
SilenceBrokenTT
08/12/09, 10:10 PM
to answer your question: i haven't, some people do.
Yuuuup.... I don't even know how long it'll take for me to actually/fully get over my my ex-wife, let alone my first love. But she (the ex-wife) did some fucked up shit to end it, so it's been pretty easy for the most part. There's just those days where something really makes you miss the time together. Disneyland was really hard to return to for a couple visits, especially Jungle Cruise (it's where I proposed... we went there all the time). It's gotten easier over time.
Um... I just went on too much, but yeah... good luck man.
Yuuuup.... I don't even know how long it'll take for me to actually/fully get over my my ex-wife, let alone my first love. But she (the ex-wife) did some fucked up shit to end it, so it's been pretty easy for the most part. There's just those days where something really makes you miss the time together. Disneyland was really hard to return to for a couple visits, especially Jungle Cruise (it's where I proposed... we went there all the time). It's gotten easier over time.
Um... I just went on too much, but yeah... good luck man.
Thanks man, its one helluva fucked up feeling.
Matt Chylak
08/12/09, 10:16 PM
this thread = the lonely hearts club tonight
this thread = the lonely hearts club tonight
hahaha im fine with that
Matt Chylak
08/12/09, 10:32 PM
its your thread...haha and its got me depresssssed
bladerdude360
08/12/09, 10:38 PM
Don't know from personal experience, but I think it's just like any other shitty thing in life; the more time passes, the easier it will be to deal with. And when someone new takes her place it will get easier. As people have said, you probably aren't going to forget about it anytime soon, but with time you'll move on.
Also, how much younger than you is this girl?
jsquaredyo
08/12/09, 10:42 PM
excellent title. sorry you're going through this. it took me two years to get to the point where I could accept not being with my first love and move on. but yes, I did get over him. [I mean, I still care about him very much, but it doesn't pain me see him anymore, you know?] ..it also took him moving to another state and me moving to another country for a semester.... moving thousands of miles away works wonders, ha. rough times, man. best of luck.
God damner
08/12/09, 10:45 PM
Your so innocent and unprotected, I think it has one of the biggest dents. It took me a while, and I have taken away the need to be a little more guarded.
erikbue
08/12/09, 10:45 PM
you'll be fine eventually, and she'll probably do some cunt-ish things at some point that will make it a lot easier to get over her. that just happened to me, and now i really dont want any part of her shit life.
yea you do but it might take a while
anamericangod
08/12/09, 11:58 PM
The only way to get over a girl is to get under one.
shboom.
08/13/09, 01:02 AM
i didn't get over my first love the first time we broke up because we kept talking. i'm now a firm believer in cutting all ties. but yes, i think we do. it was mostly about being comfortable being on my own again. after two years of that i just wanted to know i could stand on my own two feet. definitely takes time. best of luck, sir.
Car Crash Dream
08/13/09, 03:59 AM
You remind me of Ida Mancini, in the wash out your memory part. That doesn't help you at all.
Don't know from personal experience, but I think it's just like any other shitty thing in life; the more time passes, the easier it will be to deal with. And when someone new takes her place it will get easier. As people have said, you probably aren't going to forget about it anytime soon, but with time you'll move on.
Also, how much younger than you is this girl?
Shes two years younger than me, shes almost 20.
excellent title. sorry you're going through this. it took me two years to get to the point where I could accept not being with my first love and move on. but yes, I did get over him. [I mean, I still care about him very much, but it doesn't pain me see him anymore, you know?] ..it also took him moving to another state and me moving to another country for a semester.... moving thousands of miles away works wonders, ha. rough times, man. best of luck.
I'm moving to Dallas in two weeks, how do you like the DFW area? Thanks for the help. Its a big part of the reason Im moving there, besides school and a job of course, but yea even with her moving to Austin it wasn't good enough, Everything still seems just so fresh around here, all the places we went and were together, like Kenny Chesney said best, "I can't go there"
Your so innocent and unprotected, I think it has one of the biggest dents. It took me a while, and I have taken away the need to be a little more guarded.
haha yea I took that away too, Im alot more guarded now, and I have a feeling its gonna be like that for a long time
i didn't get over my first love the first time we broke up because we kept talking. i'm now a firm believer in cutting all ties. but yes, i think we do. it was mostly about being comfortable being on my own again. after two years of that i just wanted to know i could stand on my own two feet. definitely takes time. best of luck, sir.
I'm feeling like I can stand on my own, I'm just still reeling from it
LaDiabla
08/13/09, 05:43 AM
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind?
Animalhill
08/13/09, 05:44 AM
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind?
Exactly what I entered this thread to say.
you do get over her but one thing you can't do is forget about her, she'll always be the first you know.
i still think about her sometimes.
LaDiabla
08/13/09, 05:55 AM
Exactly what I entered this thread to say.
Great minds think alike;-)
Animalhill
08/13/09, 06:27 AM
Great minds think alike;-)
Indeed they do :-)
you do get over her but one thing you can't do is forget about her, she'll always be the first you know.
i still think about her sometimes.
Yea im starting to see that too.
SmokieB.High
08/13/09, 07:28 AM
drink more whine less
drink more whine less
I'd rather do what your name says.
SmokieB.High
08/13/09, 07:47 AM
It helps but you dont black out from it
It helps but you dont black out from it
you're talking to a pro, I know this haha.
The only way to get over a girl is to get under one.
So poignant and fitting. A true bard you are sir
Smash Adams
08/13/09, 08:26 AM
Really? No mention of Eternal Sunshine?
Really? No mention of Eternal Sunshine?
Look a page back.
fadedmemories
08/13/09, 08:35 AM
Plow her
brentkid
08/13/09, 08:43 AM
Over time it get's better. Do you ever fully get over them? Maybe. They'll always have a tiny piece of your heart. A lot of it depends on whether or not you decide to let yourself get over her. It's easy to find comfort in things we find familiar hence why a lot of people find themselves yearning for an ex over starting over with someone else. Odds are you'll find someone that you can again love.
Over time it get's better. Do you ever fully get over them? Maybe. They'll always have a tiny piece of your heart. A lot of it depends on whether or not you decide to let yourself get over her. It's easy to find comfort in things we find familiar hence why a lot of people find themselves yearning for an ex over starting over with someone else. Odds are you'll find someone that you can again love.
I'm not doubting that I'll find someone, I have no qualms about that, its moreso the fact that she will always have a piece of me, and I'm wondering about people who have absolutely gotten over their first love.
pinkzeppelin182
08/13/09, 08:47 AM
I think you do, but it's not for a very long time. I was in the same situation, girl went to school, but immediately wrote me off(so a year ago this week). we haven't spoken a word to each other vocally since the first couple of days of October, and it's been 6 months since we've had any interaction even through the internet/text. From my understanding she hates me and I couldn't talk to her if I wanted to. I really didn't become fine with it until June, although I still get in moods where I have to listen to Suicide File and remind myself she isn't that great of a human.
I don't really know anyone who would get over the idea of "love" at all. So when you meet someone and they represent that to you, you will ALWAYS associate them with love. So either quit caring about love or find another persona be that image of representation. Every time you think of her, try replacing it with someone else, even if it's just a close friend or something you love in a non romantic sense.
I think you do, but it's not for a very long time. I was in the same situation, girl went to school, but immediately wrote me off(so a year ago this week). we haven't spoken a word to each other vocally since the first couple of days of October, and it's been 6 months since we've had any interaction even through the internet/text. From my understanding she hates me and I couldn't talk to her if I wanted to. I really didn't become fine with it until June, although I still get in moods where I have to listen to Suicide File and remind myself she isn't that great of a human.
I don't really know anyone who would get over the idea of "love" at all. So when you meet someone and they represent that to you, you will ALWAYS associate them with love. So either quit caring about love or find another persona be that image of representation. Every time you think of her, try replacing it with someone else, even if it's just a close friend or something you love in a non romantic sense.
Do you know why?
pinkzeppelin182
08/13/09, 09:00 AM
Do you know why?
No, that's why it was so horrible for me for so long. Someone I was best friends with for a while, then had a romantic relationship with, woke up one day and decided that we were no good for each other. As the beginning of the Fall 2008 semester went on she kept escalating how she felt. It went from let's just be really good friends, to moderate friends, to talk a little, to hardly any conversation, to let's avoid each other for a while, to I don't like you, to you're everything I stand against.
Looking back, if I had to guess, it was because we grew up with the same group of friends and everything, and while I left it alone, a lot of people were VERY angry at this girl for writing me off, it made everything awkward for everyone. Most people in our culture (or atleast my group of friends) know a lot of girls do very illogical and irrational things. Therefore, my friends trusted me and kind of blamed her for it. I reason that she still avoids me because if we were to be anything remotely close to friends, that would be admitting she was wrong for doing what she did.
brentkid
08/13/09, 09:10 AM
I'm not doubting that I'll find someone, I have no qualms about that, its moreso the fact that she will always have a piece of me, and I'm wondering about people who have absolutely gotten over their first love.
You're not allowing yourself to let go. Two years ago, my relationship of 3 years crumbled before me. It took time but I saw other people and as of now have fallen for someone else. You'll always think of them from time to time and certainly still care for them, but people who cannot get over the ex are drowning themselves in an obsession.
No, that's why it was so horrible for me for so long. Someone I was best friends with for a while, then had a romantic relationship with, woke up one day and decided that we were no good for each other. As the beginning of the Fall 2008 semester went on she kept escalating how she felt. It went from let's just be really good friends, to moderate friends, to talk a little, to hardly any conversation, to let's avoid each other for a while, to I don't like you, to you're everything I stand against.
Looking back, if I had to guess, it was because we grew up with the same group of friends and everything, and while I left it alone, a lot of people were VERY angry at this girl for writing me off, it made everything awkward for everyone. Most people in our culture (or atleast my group of friends) know a lot of girls do very illogical and irrational things. Therefore, my friends trusted me and kind of blamed her for it. I reason that she still avoids me because if we were to be anything remotely close to friends, that would be admitting she was wrong for doing what she did.
I got wrapped up in her group of friends, and so that group became my friends, and after she left, it was a flipped script and everybody just kinda left me behind.
You're not allowing yourself to let go. Two years ago, my relationship of 3 years crumbled before me. It took time but I saw other people and as of now have fallen for someone else. You'll always think of them from time to time and certainly still care for them, but people who cannot get over the ex are drowning themselves in an obsession.
Im trying, I really am trying.
shboom.
08/13/09, 11:08 AM
Shes two years younger than me, shes almost 20.
I'm moving to Dallas in two weeks, how do you like the DFW area? Thanks for the help. Its a big part of the reason Im moving there, besides school and a job of course, but yea even with her moving to Austin it wasn't good enough, Everything still seems just so fresh around here, all the places we went and were together, like Kenny Chesney said best, "I can't go there"
haha yea I took that away too, Im alot more guarded now, and I have a feeling its gonna be like that for a long time
I'm feeling like I can stand on my own, I'm just still reeling from it
mhm. i get that. that was the first big step for me (maybe because i was like 15 at the time). even if you don't get over it all, just getting to a point where thinking about it makes you smile a little instead of wanting to die is nice. it just takes time. you''ll get there.
i love you for knowing a kenny chesney song, by the way.
jsquaredyo
08/13/09, 11:10 AM
I'm moving to Dallas in two weeks, how do you like the DFW area? Thanks for the help. Its a big part of the reason Im moving there, besides school and a job of course, but yea even with her moving to Austin it wasn't good enough, Everything still seems just so fresh around here, all the places we went and were together, like Kenny Chesney said best, "I can't go there"
yeah I definitely understand. there's plenty to do throughout the DFW area, so I'd find something to keep yourself busy with. I'm not in Dallas much, but I imagine it's pretty similar to living in Fort Worth, which I love. awesome music scene, too.
tommyishere
08/13/09, 11:16 AM
Thats the worst part, I can make it through the day ok, but its at night when Im dreaming that they just run wild about her. I wake up in such a good mood because of the dreams, only to realize that they are just dreams. Thats a sinking feeling.
this is with all dreams, i hate it so much
mhm. i get that. that was the first big step for me (maybe because i was like 15 at the time). even if you don't get over it all, just getting to a point where thinking about it makes you smile a little instead of wanting to die is nice. it just takes time. you''ll get there.
i love you for knowing a kenny chesney song, by the way.
I listen to country just as much if not more than any other genre, what can I say, I'm from Texas, I'm a country boy.
yeah I definitely understand. there's plenty to do throughout the DFW area, so I'd find something to keep yourself busy with. I'm not in Dallas much, but I imagine it's pretty similar to living in Fort Worth, which I love. awesome music scene, too.
I'm so stoked to be moving there, it's gonna be awesome.
this is with all dreams, i hate it so much
yea, that's the worst feeling in the world.
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