Need advice for my recently dumped friend

[eraserhead]

My bud just called me and told me his girlfriend of over a year just broke up with him. He's having a terrible time with it and I need advice for him. I've gone through the whole break-up thing before, but never like his situation. They've been dating for over a year and basically spent every day together; they work at the same job, go to the same university, occasionally live at each other houses (they both still live with their parents), the works. I need to give him advice but I have no idea what to tell him. I have an idea of how he feels, but at the same time I don't.

So basically I would appreciate any sort of advice for the poor kid. Thanks in advance.

[phil19]

just take him out and help get his mind off things.

[eraserhead]

They broke up an hour ago, he's still in the stage where nothing's going to take his mind off it. I'm going to see him tomorrow, maybe go out for some coffee and talk it over. I just don't know what to tell him.

[phil19]

just give him some support. i know when i was dumped one time and was feeling really shitty, just hanging out with my mates helped tremendously.

[Colin1755]

hes fucked.

[lovely864md]

Just listen. He's going to want to vent and he's not going to feel better for a while. You're going to end up feeling like a broken record, but be there for him and be patient.

[brentkid]

Best advice: Keep living your life.

[Kassie09]

There's really nothing anyone can say to him. His life is just going to change drastically. Relationships are the worst whenever you're totally dependent on the other person..and then it ends, it's like you don't really know what to do anymore. He'll get used to it though, it'll just take..well, probably a few months, I'd say.

[Manicapathy]

Just listen. He's going to want to vent and he's not going to feel better for a while. You're going to end up feeling like a broken record, but be there for him and be patient.
In that vein, buy him a mallet, some water melons, and tape pictures of her face to them.

Or, go out drinking. That works too.

[billyboatkid]

There is no real/good advice that can be given. It will not be taken.

He's probably too torn up now. I'd wait a while.

[lovely864md]

In that vein, buy him a mallet, some water melons, and tape pictures of her face to them.

Or, go out drinking. That works too.

I support this violence direction. My best friend and I getting fucked over by guys at the same time is the reason I no longer have posters on my walls and two of my pillows have giant holes in them.

[brentkid]

Thinking back on my break up, there's probably not a single thing you'll be able to say that will get through to him for at least a month. Better to just let him vent and agree with everything he says.

[bladerdude360]

Go to a party and just get messed up. Hook him up with some chicks and just make him feel good.

[ArtForLovers]

Just listen/talk to him. I don't know much guys like to talk, but sometimes it's just nice to talk to someone. Even if you don't say anything, and just let him vent. That's always nice too.

[kbi the crowing]

Just listen. He's going to want to vent and he's not going to feel better for a while. You're going to end up feeling like a broken record, but be there for him and be patient.

this

[lovely864md]

this

Holy crap, another random person from Rochester.

[ReignofFiction]

Greet him with a beer, and an open ear.

[Richard Maxim]

My friends have always told me that just hanging out and acting like it hasn't happened will help. Time heals, for me it took like a year to get over my girlfriend and now i might be going through the same thing. just be there for him and tell him to listen to alot of band of horses. :mellow:

[kbi the crowing]

Holy crap, another random person from Rochester.

holy shit someone from rochester who came up with the advice i was gonna say haha

[lovely864md]

holy shit someone from rochester who came up with the advice i was gonna say haha

Something in the water?

[kbi the crowing]

Something in the water?

obviously, ontario is right there haha

[Codi23]

Thinking back on my break up, there's probably not a single thing you'll be able to say that will get through to him for at least a month. Better to just let him vent and agree with everything he says.

This. I know when something similar happened to me, I just wanted everyone to agree with what I was saying for awhile; there wasn't any advice I was going to take for a long time. That's just how it is when this kind of thing happens.

Listening and nodding your head can do a lot.

[eraserhead]

I agree with all the advice in here, thank you. Really it's pretty much all common sense and being a good friend.

I'm hesitant about the drinking thing, he's the kind of the guy that would have a meltdown/go suicidal.

[Gat$by]

7 months into mine and it still sucks like a mother fucker. Tell him to get ready for a ride and just be there to hear what he has to say. He's gonna do nothing but talk about her, in every sentence, So be ready for that.

[SincerelyMe]

Just hang out with him. Be there when he needs to talk/vent. Let him feel what he's feeling and just be there for him.

[saveferris]

My bud just called me and told me his girlfriend of over a year just broke up with him. He's having a terrible time with it and I need advice for him. I've gone through the whole break-up thing before, but never like his situation. They've been dating for over a year and basically spent every day together; they work at the same job, go to the same university, occasionally live at each other houses (they both still live with their parents), the works. I need to give him advice but I have no idea what to tell him. I have an idea of how he feels, but at the same time I don't.

So basically I would appreciate any sort of advice for the poor kid. Thanks in advance.
The same thing happened to my best friend. I don't know all the details yet though. But you and I are in the same boat. A good talk or something always works. Girls come and go but you ALWAYS have your friends.

[saveferris]

This. I know when something similar happened to me, I just wanted everyone to agree with what I was saying for awhile; there wasn't any advice I was going to take for a long time. That's just how it is when this kind of thing happens.

Listening and nodding your head can do a lot.
Yeah I always take my freinds side on those situations and hear them out.

[saveferris]

Also don't say things like "that girl was a bitch anyways" and things of that nature. In my experience it always made things worse. Just agree with what he says.

[And Hours Pass]

Also don't say things like "that girl was a bitch anyways" and things of that nature. In my experience it always made things worse. Just agree with what he says.
I'm glad someone mentioned this. That's probably the worst thing you can do. I think that the way I got over my break up was time and stupid friend stuff. I remember I went out drinking with my friends and by the end of the night one had been assaulted, another was mugged while peeing on the side of a building, and another found a foreign girl that he brought with us to a late night diner. It was nights like those, nights you can't plan for, that help to make someone feel like themselves again after a break up. It seems like everybody giving advice in this thread has the right idea, so I wish you and your friend the best of luck.

[Simulcast]

Tell him to listen to the Deftones. That fixes most of my problems.

[Reaver]

You know a friend who ..., eh?

[Overpass]

Just keep him busy, make sure he gets out of bed each morning and doesn't go to sleep with 5 empty bottles of Jack. Don't let him go into that "let's get fucked" mentality where all he wants to do is self destruct and destroy everything (and everyone) around him. It'll be hard for him but time should make it easier.

[denissuxx]

Alcohol is the answer.

[Hamlet]

"If you're going through hell... keep going."
- Winston Churchill

[meh]

Reading helps, seriously. It gets your mind off things. Bring homeboy to the library.

[tstick18]

Tell him to punch-dance out his rage in a wooded glen.

[eraserhead]

Best advice: Keep living your life.
Yeah, normally I wouldn't be taking so much time to help a friend through a break-up, but on top of his girl dumping him, his parents are getting divorced and he's getting kicked out of his house. Plus, because he built so much of his life around this girl, he now has very few people he can turn to for help. I feel obligated to at least help him out a little bit

You know a friend who ..., eh?
Haha seriously, this is a different person...I'm in a happy relationship right now

[reesa]

whos in your avatar mr person who stared this"

[brentkid]

Yeah, normally I wouldn't be taking so much time to help a friend through a break-up, but on top of his girl dumping him, his parents are getting divorced and he's getting kicked out of his house. Plus, because he built so much of his life around this girl, he now has very few people he can turn to for help. I feel obligated to at least help him out a little bit.
You're a really good friend to be so concerned about him. I know I had a few friends that were definitely there for me, but got tired of my depressing attitude after a while. I was annoying for sure, but I could have used that extra support at times. Just remember you rarely have to say anything to someone who needs you to be there for them.

[jon.]

Best advice: Keep living your life.
Gotta go with this. I've been in the exact same situation and it fuckin blew. You just gotta keep your chin high and keep on truckin.

[deFobbed14yrs]

you're a really good friend. just listen to him if he needs someone to talk to, get drunk with him if he wants to, just let him know you're there.

[miapiv89]

sometimes its best to just listen to them talk about anything and everything and just let them spill it all out
i mean this is how it is with girls idk about guys haha

[eraserhead]

whos in your avatar mr person who stared this"
Justin Vernon of Bon Iver

sometimes its best to just listen to them talk about anything and everything and just let them spill it all out
i mean this is how it is with girls idk about guys haha
This is also the case with most guys. Not me personally, cause I'd rather keep it all to myself, but a lot of guys like to spill it all out.

[miapiv89]

Justin Vernon of Bon Iver


This is also the case with most guys. Not me personally, cause I'd rather keep it all to myself, but a lot of guys like to spill it all out.

thats good to know
but yeah for my best friend whose in a relationship i normally just let her talk everything shes going through out and even if i just respond with yeah or repeating what she says in different words it actually still helps her out

[ScarsThatSmile]

Ive been through the same exact thing , best thing is just try and chill with him or get him out of the house as much as you can, it will probably take a couple months till hes back to his normal self but go get fucked up, hit a blunt or something make him relax a bit

[Kill_the_radio]

take him to a strip club.

[AndrewIcex]

Just make sure he does not start to stalk her.. my girlfriend's ex did that when we started dating... it was just too much.

[Rey1789]

take him to a strip club.



i second this :miagi:

[rollerman4221]

Alcohol is the answer.

quoted for truth

[Skees]

Going through a similar situation. Nothing will take your mind off of it. Be prepared for the worst.