in love with your best friend?

[cohenisababe]

is this a ticking bomb? or something that has the potential to be great? i fear i have this problem..theres a small part of me that says 'hes perfect for you, go for it'...but a larger part of me that says 'are you out of your fucking mind??'

so any advice on what to do in this situation would be grand. please and thank you.

[SincerelyMe]

Go for it. You'll regret it forever if you don't.

[phil19]

if you're hot then he'll dig it

[cohenisababe]

Go for it. You'll regret it forever if you don't.

thanks for the reply..im starting to think i should just tell him and get it over with and see where it goes. we've been friends..literally our entire lives..so it scares me a little to think of what could happen..if he doesnt think the same.

[brentkid]

I'm in the same position. I know what you're going through.

[killerswells]

just tell him. anal works too.

[cohenisababe]

like..we're 22 now..we met when we were 3. we've never lived more than 3 blocks apart. until this summer...we'd spent all our nights hanging out and doing whatever we wanted...now hes leaving for school again (he comes back on the weekends)...so i have a little planning time..it would be like the ideal situation..i could go see him whenever i wanted/needed..and he'd be home on the weeknds..something to look forward to rather than the daily 'so what ya wanna do now?

[cohenisababe]

hahahaha killerswells..you made the situation slightly laughable. appreciate it haha

[phil19]

friends with benfits??

[cohenisababe]

not sure i wanna go down that route..because haha im certain he'd be a.o.k with that if he didnt have any substantial feelings for me..but i think mine would just gradually get stronger with that..

[SincerelyMe]

friends with benfits??

Because that doesn't make everything worse 99% of the time.

[cohenisababe]

right..and im older now..and thinking more long term i suppose?

[phil19]

Because that doesn't make everything worse 99% of the time.

i wouldn't know :shrug:

[superBMRuth]

i've been in the same boat for about the past three years. go for it, let me know if it works. haha

[SincerelyMe]

i wouldn't know :shrug:

Consider yourself very, very lucky.
Every "friends with benefits" situation I've been in has found a way to royally fuck everything up.

[phil19]

Consider yourself very, very lucky.
Every "friends with benefits" situation I've been in has found a way to royally fuck everything up.

no pun intended??

[SincerelyMe]

no pun intended??

Haha, correct.

[Hidenothing27]

ahhh what a position you are in!

I fell for my best friend and kept it in for months. When I finally fessed up and she felt the same way it was the biggest relief. But unfortunately the timing wasn't right, we both felt the same way but at times we couldnt let go and things got really really fucked up. Our friendship will never be the same and to be honest it sucks. I sometimes wished i could wish away the feelings because in the end it just left me in a world of hurt...

with that said... I still think you should go for it, because even in my case when things were good, they were awesome. You can see a side of that person you'd never seen before and hopefully something amazing will happen. You have to say something as it will EAT you alive.

[more heart]

Yeah, I'd tell him. I'm friends with the girl I like and I recently told her how I felt. Unfortunately she told me she didn't quite feel the same, but we're still friends.

[phil19]

is this a ticking bomb? or something that has the potential to be great? i fear i have this problem..theres a small part of me that says 'hes perfect for you, go for it'...but a larger part of me that says 'are you out of your fucking mind??'

so any advice on what to do in this situation would be grand. please and thank you.

ahhh what a position you are in!

I fell for my best friend and kept it in for months. When I finally fessed up and she felt the same way it was the biggest relief. But unfortunately the timing wasn't right, we both felt the same way but at times we couldnt let go and things got really really fucked up. Our friendship will never be the same and to be honest it sucks. I sometimes wished i could wish away the feelings because in the end it just left me in a world of hurt...

with that said... I still think you should go for it, because even in my case when things were good, they were awesome. You can see a side of that person you'd never seen before and hopefully something amazing will happen. You have to say something as it will EAT you alive.

you two should get together

[phil19]

Haha, correct.

and see here i was thinking i was lame for never having experience with this

[cohenisababe]

i've been in the same boat for about the past three years. go for it, let me know if it works. haha
haha ill do my best...im hoping it goes well.
and at the same time i hope if it doesnt..nothing changes.

[SilenceBrokenTT]

right..and im older now..and thinking more long term i suppose?

And baby-clock wise, amirite.

Edit: Also, do it...

[SincerelyMe]

and see here i was thinking i was lame for never having experience with this

Wanna trade?

[cohenisababe]

ahhh what a position you are in!

I fell for my best friend and kept it in for months. When I finally fessed up and she felt the same way it was the biggest relief. But unfortunately the timing wasn't right, we both felt the same way but at times we couldnt let go and things got really really fucked up. Our friendship will never be the same and to be honest it sucks. I sometimes wished i could wish away the feelings because in the end it just left me in a world of hurt...

with that said... I still think you should go for it, because even in my case when things were good, they were awesome. You can see a side of that person you'd never seen before and hopefully something amazing will happen. You have to say something as it will EAT you alive.
that is not good at all...and thats my biggest fear..that'll all change. and we've got so much history..it would be so heartbreaking to see it end...

ohh and its already eating me alive...i have sooo many other personal issues going on right now (that trump the shit outta this one) that im not sure its a good idea to be going through this now.

[cohenisababe]

And baby-clock wise, amirite.

Edit: Also, do it...
oooh no baby clock at all. lol im 22. thats not even in the picture ever..which is fineee with me.

[phil19]

Wanna trade?

you've got a deal

[cohenisababe]

and thanks for the responses and stuff:)..hes normally my go to guy..

[SincerelyMe]

you've got a deal

My experience for your inexperience? Sounds great to me.

[phil19]

My experience for your inexperience? Sounds great to me.

you cant go wrong

[phil19]

what you should do is use the love calculator to see if you're compatible
http://www.lovecalculator.com/

[SincerelyMe]

you cant go wrong

I can't. You can.

what you should do is use the love calculator to see if you're compatible
http://www.lovecalculator.com/

I did this once and I entered my name and Andrew McMahon and it came out 99%. Made my day.

[coma]

Consider yourself very, very lucky.
Every "friends with benefits" situation I've been in has found a way to royally fuck everything up.

You're 17 fucking years old. The fact that you've had more than one 'friends with benefits' situation at 17 makes you a total fucking whore.

[phil19]

I can't. You can.



I did this once and I entered my name and Andrew McMahon and it came out 99%. Made my day.

haha thats awesome!

[SincerelyMe]

You're 17 fucking years old. The fact that you've had more than one 'friends with benefits' situation at 17 makes you a total fucking whore.

Well if it makes me sound any less like a whore, I didn't fuck any of them.

[coma]

Well if it makes me sound any less like a whore, I didn't fuck any of them.

Then they weren't friends with benefits.

[SincerelyMe]

Then they weren't friends with benefits.

It doesn't always mean fucking.

[makeshiftmind]

I did this once and I entered my name and Andrew McMahon and it came out 99%. Made my day.
Me and him have 89%

[cohenisababe]

Then they weren't friends with benefits.
i dont agree with the whole whore thing. friends with benefits does not always mean friends that fuck. and if shes had more than one? no big deal..im CERTAIN there are plenty of girls that have had wayyy more than their fair share of just fuck buddies.

[BottomsUp]

For some reason all the guys that i befriend (i am friends with alot of guys, because i hate girls and think their annoying so i drift towards all the guys) seem to like me. Most of the time i don't feel the same way, because well i am VERY VERY picky..so they all think i'm a lesbian because i don't like them. Except my best friend moved to canada this summer, and just now i realized i had feelings for him, but now he's gone so it sucks. But i mean what can ya do. If the love is true it somehow finds its way back, right? Ha i have faith that we'll find eachother once again.

[AndrewIcex]

Tough situation.

[cohenisababe]

youre tellin me. it keeps me awake at night. he makes my bad days not so bad..and lately ive had to do the same for him (between the 2 of us..we've had a shitty summer..nonexistant kidneys, broken necks and backs, surgeries.)

[shboom.]

have you tried sort of casually bringing it up? maybe a "haha, what if..." sort of thing.

i tried a thing with my ex-best guy friend, and he was way more committed than i was to it...aaand now we don't speak. at all. because he fucked my ex-best friend. BUT I DIGRESS. if he seems open and still hesitant, give it time to sink in and don't rush it. it's got to be something that's mutual, not an experiment on one end. good luck

[coma]

i dont agree with the whole whore thing. friends with benefits does not always mean friends that fuck. and if shes had more than one? no big deal..im CERTAIN there are plenty of girls that have had wayyy more than their fair share of just fuck buddies.

And they're whores. No doubt about it.

And if you aren't fucking, you aren't friend with benefits. Because there is no benefit other than friendship.

[cohenisababe]

thanks guys and gals:)

[loudpunkguitar]

ive been in that situation, i didnt work out. but i say go for it.

bottom line is if you don't you will regret it. if he doesnt feel the same, sure it will hurt, but you will get peace of mind and be able to move on. its better than never knowing.

[AndrewIcex]

youre tellin me. it keeps me awake at night. he makes my bad days not so bad..and lately ive had to do the same for him (between the 2 of us..we've had a shitty summer..nonexistant kidneys, broken necks and backs, surgeries.)
Hospitals love you both.

[timb89]

nah it will ruin everything.. dont do it.

[thursday727]

I had this problem at least twice during my high school years. Now i've grown to dislike both of those girls. and i realized i didn't really love them. I was just being stupid.

[thursday727]

A girl in love with her guy best friend probably has a better chance than a guy in love with his girl best friend. Because it tends to come off as kinda creepy.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

is this a ticking bomb? or something that has the potential to be great? i fear i have this problem..theres a small part of me that says 'hes perfect for you, go for it'...but a larger part of me that says 'are you out of your fucking mind??'

so any advice on what to do in this situation would be grand. please and thank you.

Go for it.

The worst you can get is no, andi f you do not try you'll still getting the same answer.

[xAnti-Violentx]

I fell in love with my best friend as well and dated her for a couple of months. The biggest nightmare ever. Then I broke up with her and things were just really fucked up, we haven't talked for a year. Being in a relationship is way different than just having a good friendship. Thanks god we're okay now and usually just joke about the relationship we've had.
I know I would never date my best friend again. I was in a pretty similar situation a couple of months ago, this time my other best friend was in love with me. But he knew it wouldn't work out and just ignored his feelings. He got over me and things are great now.
Although if you think it's really going to work out, don't hesitate and just tell him. :)

[live.]

Tell him and tell us what happens. Too many people make these threads and just bail.

[ActionActionFan]

It doesn't always mean fucking.

Oh but it does.

[ptulachanh]

A girl in love with her guy best friend probably has a better chance than a guy in love with his girl best friend. Because it tends to come off as kinda creepy.

Extremely true.

[Rodeo]

is this a ticking bomb? or something that has the potential to be great? i fear i have this problem..theres a small part of me that says 'hes perfect for you, go for it'...but a larger part of me that says 'are you out of your fucking mind??'

so any advice on what to do in this situation would be grand. please and thank you.



I've been dating my best friend for 5 years (going on 6). She's absolutely amazing and the passion is still there.


Go for it.

[fueledbyvictory]

Tell him and tell us what happens. Too many people make these threads and just bail.

yup

[Kassie09]

Id go for it and tell him if he seems to like you on more than a friend level..if its not that way..I wouldnt?

I don't think, I've never been in this situation..I think I've like always made out with guys then they become my friends....I just came to this realization I dont really have a close guy friend I have never kissed. WTF.

[Reaver]

where's the storeyyyyy??

[jon.]

Tell him. And if he acts negatively just suck his dick. Bam! Problem solved.

[Roboman]

Id go for it and tell him if he seems to like you on more than a friend level..if its not that way..I wouldnt?

I don't think, I've never been in this situation..I think I've like always made out with guys then they become my friends....I just came to this realization I dont really have a close guy friend I have never kissed. WTF.

:lolatpost::lolatpost:

[Kassie09]

:lolatpost::lolatpost:

Shuddddup!

[prcssngurl]

thanks for the reply..im starting to think i should just tell him and get it over with and see where it goes. we've been friends..literally our entire lives..so it scares me a little to think of what could happen..if he doesnt think the same.

it took my boyfriend and i 12 years.. and it wasn't easy. i had those same doubts, but we've been together two months now. i'm always scared of what will happen, but he's my friend first of all and i know that i can count on that.

[mattmatumbo]

This thread sounds special.

[LPcatitoRJA]

This thread sounds special.

This thread IS special

[loofa]

It's better to find out, even if you don't get the response you want, rather than regretting never asking.

[zerock]

do i used to regret it for the longest time.

[mattmatumbo]

This thread IS special

That's good, the topic of this thread has only gotten my friends into shit, that's my take on it. Them being a friend will be better than them possibly shutting you down and never seeing them again in a way that isn't awkward. IMO

[reesa]

^lol at the special posts. i thought the same.

i regret wishing that he'd find someone (: i was such a bitch when he really liked me. i'm the worst friend to friendzone someone. sad i know but i look back and man...i just wanna punch myself! stupid stupid stupid.

it's so hard when you don't have that close guy friend to laugh and talk about shit all. i miss good times ): i mean i have many great friends but now he's always gonna be thinking of this other person so i don't think i can ever hang out...maybe...i dunno.

[ReadyForAction]

So 964563 stories that didnt work out and 3 that did

[reesa]

So 964563 stories that didnt work out and 3 that did
lol pretty much :P

[Thesleepingwell]

Honestly with a friendship that strong bonded...
Personally I'd worry that making that something more would be risky.

Think this through...
But if you know you feel it's something more, try to find out if he feels the same way - then you'll know for sure.
Play it that way. If he likes you as much as you like him - take a chance.

[framebyframe]

For some reason all the guys that i befriend (i am friends with alot of guys, because i hate girls and think their annoying so i drift towards all the guys) seem to like me. Most of the time i don't feel the same way, because well i am VERY VERY picky..so they all think i'm a lesbian because i don't like them. Except my best friend moved to canada this summer, and just now i realized i had feelings for him, but now he's gone so it sucks. But i mean what can ya do. If the love is true it somehow finds its way back, right? Ha i have faith that we'll find eachother once again.

This sounds exactly like me. I actually had one of my guy friends say to me, "too bad you don't like guys." I was kind of offended haha. But I think I am cursed from watching too many movies and hoping for that "perfect guy". I can't get out of this phase.

[11:11]

Id go for it and tell him if he seems to like you on more than a friend level..if its not that way..I wouldnt?

I don't think, I've never been in this situation..I think I've like always made out with guys then they become my friends....I just came to this realization I dont really have a close guy friend I have never kissed. WTF.
:bluesad:

[speak easy]

friends with benfits??

never ever ever ends the way its supposed to

[Kassie09]

:bluesad:

Yes, owen?

[Smash Adams]

you never kissed me Kassie

[Kassie09]

you never kissed me Kassie

:slutkiss:

[Smash Adams]

:slutkiss:
I said kiss not bite my face off

[Kassie09]

I said kiss not bite my face off

:kiss:????????????

[Smash Adams]

:kiss:????????????
much better, the other one scared me

[Kassie09]

much better, the other one scared me

she was kinda scary but portrayed my sultry feelings for you, strictly as a friend

[11:11]

Yes, owen?
you never kissed me Kassie
What he said.

[nonamesleft]

Holy crap, I don't know what I'd do if me or my best friend realized we were in love with each other. Too weird, yet I can totally see it happening?

[Tautou107]

I'd say go for it; if you don't, you'd most likely regret it later. Like someone else said, just bring it up casually first, drop a few hints, etc. Then if you think you're getting some good signals, tell him how you feel.

The beginning of freshman year, my best friend told me he'd liked me for a long time (we'd been best friends for a few years) and he asked me out... I said yes and we dated up until the middle of junior year. We don't talk anymore, but I don't regret the relationship.

[Overpass]

Don't do it. You might want it now, and think everything will be perfect but reality always has a habit of getting in the way.

There are a billion things which could go wrong, chances are you probably won't make it and it'll be more trouble than it's worth. That infatuation you have will fade and you will come across something better, it isn't worth ruining a friendship.

You two could be friends for a long time, but relationships generally don't work out in the long run. I'm sorry if I'm the only one telling you not to go for it but really if you value your friendship so much, is this worth losing him over?

[oohlala43]

I'd say go for it; if you don't, you'd most likely regret it later. Like someone else said, just bring it up casually first, drop a few hints, etc. Then if you think you're getting some good signals, tell him how you feel.

The beginning of freshman year, my best friend told me he'd liked me for a long time (we'd been best friends for a few years) and he asked me out... I said yes and we dated up until the middle of junior year. We don't talk anymore, but I don't regret the relationship.

^ Normally I'd say that. I don't believe in regrets, and the best relationships are the ones you have with your best friends. BUTTTTTT....

Don't do it. You might want it now, and think everything will be perfect but reality always has a habit of getting in the way.

There are a billion things which could go wrong, chances are you probably won't make it and it'll be more trouble than it's worth. That infatuation you have will fade and you will come across something better, it isn't worth ruining a friendship.

You two could be friends for a long time, but relationships generally don't work out in the long run. I'm sorry if I'm the only one telling you not to go for it but really if you value your friendship so much, is this worth losing him over?

... ^ Correct. Is it really worth losing someone you care about? Even if you say you'll be friends first, relationship second, you can never ever go back to being just friends.

But use your judgement. Feel out the situation. If it feels right, then it may very well be. But definitly do not do anything just because you think you're in love with him.

[reesa]

well i sorta agree with both...

Don't do it. You might want it now, and think everything will be perfect but reality always has a habit of getting in the way.

There are a billion things which could go wrong, chances are you probably won't make it and it'll be more trouble than it's worth. That infatuation you have will fade and you will come across something better, it isn't worth ruining a friendship.

i was always thinking about that but then again taking chances could lead to something better than expected which leads me to this point of view...

I'd say go for it; if you don't, you'd most likely regret it later. Like someone else said, just bring it up casually first, drop a few hints, etc. Then if you think you're getting some good signals, tell him how you feel.

that's me right now (:

[Kassie09]

What he said.

Owen and Ian are the exception of my best male friends rule!

[ashleycalhoun]

Go for it. You'll regret it forever if you don't.

so true. my boyfriend and i were best friends for a year before we started dating. we are both happier than ever. give it a shot, if its what you really want

[tonyrodmon]

hoping for that "perfect guy".

Hey, my name's Chet.

[framebyframe]

Hey, my name's Chet.

Lol could you possibly be the one I have been searching for for so long? :-p

[tonyrodmon]

Lol could you possibly be the one I have been searching for for so long? :-p

Search no longer!! I am Chet the sex robot sent here from planet Orgasm to give you one. Beep boop boop.

[Dempsey]

Been there, I wouldnt let it happen if i were you.

Even if it would work out, chances one of you screw up are real and losing your lover and best friend at once.. it wouldnt be your best day.
Even though you known him for so long, i wouldnt do it. Friends are worth more than lovers, believe me.

[tonyrodmon]

Been there, I wouldnt let it happen if i were you.

Even if it would work out, chances one of you screw up are real and losing your lover and best friend at once.. it wouldnt be your best day.
Even though you known him for so long, i wouldnt do it. Friends are worth more than lovers, believe me.

Yeah, I lost a best friend to this. In life you lose the people closest to you, if that means being friends that has to be what it means.

[cohenisababe]

thanks for the answers guys :) such a tricky situation..i havent really ever been one to take risks..and still trying to figure out if this risk is worth taking...starting to think it is not..because i cherish his friendship more than anyones...i ended the previous relationship i was in for 2.5 years..for mutliple reasons..one being an extremely jealous boyfriend (this was months and months back)

[bung]

thanks for the answers guys :) such a tricky situation..i havent really ever been one to take risks..and still trying to figure out if this risk is worth taking...starting to think it is not..because i cherish his friendship more than anyones...i ended the previous relationship i was in for 2.5 years..for mutliple reasons..one being an extremely jealous boyfriend (this was months and months back)

You should know it's been proven that relationships which begin as a friendship tend to be more successful and, if it doesn't work out, less damaging. Go for it.

[alltimehoe93]

If you're good enough friends, you should be able to get past it if he doesn't feel the same way. Go for it.

lol at the friends with benefits debate.

[tommyishere]

im in the shame situation, im just not sure if she likes me anymore, which completely sucksssss

[geebee889]

This sounds exactly like me. I actually had one of my guy friends say to me, "too bad you don't like guys." I was kind of offended haha. But I think I am cursed from watching too many movies and hoping for that "perfect guy". I can't get out of this phase.

Sounds like me too. I've really only ever had one relationship, and that was quite a long time ago. I've had guys ask me out, but it seems like they're always jerks or just plain stupid. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to be patient, and when it comes it comes.

[drkezz]

i honestly would not bother with getting in a relationship with a best friend. been there, done that. it just screws up everything you had that was great. if it works out, thats great. but if it doesnt it ruins the greatest friendship youve ever had.

[pleasedontask]

The fact that you like him has already changed your relationship forever.

so go for it.

[$eth]

I'm in the exact same boat. I'm crushing on my closest girl-friend. I honestly don't know what to do. I don't think she feels the same way, but all my friends just keep telling me to say something. I just can't do it, because I will lose the only girl that I have to turn to when something goes wrong. She's the only person in my life that makes me feel better when I'm down and I don't want to go and risk losing that. I just can't do it. I was going to say something Friday night until my best friend let me know that HER best friend is crushing on me. That just sent the whole thing down the toilet. :giveup:

[Duexy]

the love of my life is my best friend :)

[maxvsmaradona]

I'm in the exact same boat. I'm crushing on my closest girl-friend. I honestly don't know what to do. I don't think she feels the same way, but all my friends just keep telling me to say something. I just can't do it, because I will lose the only girl that I have to turn to when something goes wrong. She's the only person in my life that makes me feel better when I'm down and I don't want to go and risk losing that. I just can't do it. I was going to say something Friday night until my best friend let me know that HER best friend is crushing on me. That just sent the whole thing down the toilet. :giveup:

Dude, I know that feeling. I feel for you, man.