Rainy sky

[aCe_]

Rainy sky

This morning I woke up
To face this opposite day
I saw the scattered clouds
Across the darkened sun
Black crows flew above me
Clearly a sign of death
But I made my way to paradise
To the rainy shores of the sky
Their swirling purple capes
Surrounded my fading vision
Rooted to the dampened earth
Branches gasping for breath
I've somehow become the hero
Holding this shadowed land


What do you think?
Should I add more to this?

[xglassjawx]

That's pretty good my friend!

You made a good poem out of a basic idea. Good job.

[hobbes2809]

I hate opposite days. :(

great job!

[aCe_]

Thanks.

[A picasso blue]

this is awful

[xglassjawx]

this is awful

Hahaha.

[OveriseFan]

To the rainy shores of the sky
Their swirling purple capes
Surrounded my fading vision
Rooted to the dampened earth
Branches gasping for breath

You jump around metaphors WAY too much here, and "rainy shores of the sky?" The sky doesn't have a shore, the ocean does. Then you go to purple capes, what the hell? Then the sky becomes trees? THis part sucks, the rest is decent.