I need advice from fellow males

[oldwirehands]

I know I use this forum a lot to talk about my relationship but there is something you have to understand. I'm the only one out of my friends who dates girls. My friends aren't gay but they have no relationship experience whatsoever. I have one friend who does but I hardly see him anymore. I have no one else to turn to when I have a question or a problem.

My question is, is it natural to get pissed off when you're girlfriend interacts with guys YOU KNOW wants to get in her pants? She's not even flirting (not that I know of) but the I know there is the possibility of her flirting knowing she talks to these dudes.

You do not have to read the following:

What really bothers me is my one friend (the only one with relationship experience) told me months ago that girls are always attracted to their coworkers. This is the only place my girlfriend talks to these dudes that I know want her. How do I know? We were online together and she got a message and friend request from one of her coworkers. How he found her beats me. He said in the message that he thought she was hot and they should hang out sometime. This dude is a typical frat dick to so I know his intentions. She didn't add him as a friend while I was there. I assumed she wasn't. I was wrong. I found this dude on her buddy list to. I just keep finding little clues that lead me to believe she wants him and I know the possibility of flirting is high. She also mentioned when she got that message that "She never thought she could get a guy like that." Offended and pissed off I questioned her and she came back saying "I though I'd only be able to get fat gross guys like so and so." I think to myself "Did she really just word her thoughts wrong the first time or was she trying to save it?". I'd like to add I'm currently getting pyschiatric treatment so I could be just being extremely analytical.

Now all of this wouldn't bother me as much if I didn't go through something similiar before. The same thing happened when I though this girl was cheating/going to cheat on me and I put my trust in her. That totally blew up in my face and I was right the whole time. It hit me blindsided to. Its like I suspected somthing but after talking to her, totally forgot about it. A month later, it blows up in my face. I don't want that to happen again. The same thing happened to me a bunch of times before.

I really want to trust my girlfriend but its so god damn fucking hard. We've been together for almost a year and its still hard for me to trust her. This relationship would be so much better if I did. Its not just her either. I know if I ended it, I would be the same way in my next relationship. I don't want to tell her to stop talking to this guy because I already have done that to her twice and she totally obeyed it. She does not talk to those guys anymore (I had more of a better reason for those guys though). I can't keep doing that.

I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't be in a real relationship for a long time. Though, I'm afraid of making a horrible mistake by losing someone who has the potential of being my true love.

Its really hard to tell if my fear of repeating the past is causing paranoia or if what I'm thinking is real.

[Blueskyburning]

i can see where you're coming from man and it sucks, im the same, im being quite paranoid about my current girlfriend wanting to breakup with me when there's no need really.

[oldwirehands]

i can see where you're coming from man and it sucks, im the same, im being quite paranoid about my current girlfriend wanting to breakup with me when there's no need really.

Fuck gynas. All they do is bleed.

[xTJx]

I did not read 'the following' but I'll input on your question. The same thing is happening to me right now, the girlfriend constantly goes out with this one guy to concerts/bars/etc and he wants in her pants so badly. I just stopped caring about the situation (probably a bad thing to do, but whatever haha) because I thought to myself, why should I stress out over this? If it wasn't mean to be, then it's not meant to be. I'm a strong believer in that

[oldwirehands]

I did not read 'the following' but I'll input on your question. The same thing is happening to me right now, the girlfriend constantly goes out with this one guy to concerts/bars/etc and he wants in her pants so badly. I just stopped caring about the situation (probably a bad thing to do, but whatever haha) because I thought to myself, why should I stress out over this? If it wasn't mean to be, then it's not meant to be. I'm a strong believer in that

I wish I could live by that. If I end up being betrayed by a girl again, its not going to be good for me mentally. I don't think I'd be able to trust a female ever again.

[iHATEapril]

Yeah, I get real mad when she does she like that. And I then kind of do it in return, adn we fight a lot. It really doesn't make sense, but I like argueing sometimes.

[xTJx]

I wish I could live by that. If I end up being betrayed by a girl again, its not going to be good for me mentally. I don't think I'd be able to trust a female ever again.

I get betrayed by girls all the time. I've gotten to the point where I expect it so yeah

[thedood]

This was a problem with me and my exgirlfriend (current best friend) as well. For the most part I kept it to myself.

But the girls arent stupid, they know they guy wants in their pants and thats what bothered me. But man, if your girl didnt talk to every guy who wanted in her pants, they would never be able to talk to any guys.

Just have to suck it up and deal with it as something that you have to forget about it.

[infamous_alias]

Fuck gynas. All they do is bleed.

I'm serious dude, it's the vagina juices! They mess with peoples' minds...

[Saves The Night]

I'm serious dude, it's the vagina juices! They mess with peoples' minds...yeah, it does...

[minusthejosh]

girls = bitches. period.

[oldwirehands]

I did not read 'the following' but I'll input on your question. The same thing is happening to me right now, the girlfriend constantly goes out with this one guy to concerts/bars/etc and he wants in her pants so badly. I just stopped caring about the situation (probably a bad thing to do, but whatever haha) because I thought to myself, why should I stress out over this? If it wasn't mean to be, then it's not meant to be. I'm a strong believer in that

I'm trying to push myself to get into your way of thinking. I mean trust is basically being able to let your fears go. Its what I have to do even if it is really hard...

But I swear, if I witness this dude trying to make a move, his face is meeting my pitching wedge.

[Crocodile Logic]

I get betrayed by girls all the time. I've gotten to the point where I expect it so yeah
that's basically the worst way ever to go through life.

[xearlynovemberx]

i like you man i think you're a cool guy and i hope things work out for the best

but i've been in the same position before it was really hard for me to deal with alot of guys wanted her and she didnt flirt with them persay but she sent of the wrong signals i got very jealous and saw how the shoe fit on the other foot(aka i did it to see how she liked it) she said now i know how you feel, after that we broke up so i dont really recommend you follow in my footsteps...just try and approach her about the situation and tell her how you feel if you already havent...

sorry if that was no help or not

[xTJx]

that's basically the worst way ever to go through life.

Don't you think I know that?

[kg00d]

This is a shitty situation. I've learned over the years if you can't trust her its not worth it or meant to be. Trust is so important. Whenever my next relationship takes place if i cant trust her i'm gonna have to get out of it before it gets too serious.

[boysdontcry17]

i'd be careful. when i was datin this girl like 1 month ago, she would often ditch me to go hang out with other guys. pissed me off....lol.

[boysdontcry17]

not all girls are bitches. just my "ex-girlfriend" lol.....jkjkjk i hope she doesnt read this or she'll have her other exboyfriend, her "best friend" (are you fuckin kiddin me? lol) kick my ass lol.

[Suchasucker]

I know I use this forum a lot to talk about my relationship but there is something you have to understand. I'm the only one out of my friends who dates girls. My friends aren't gay but they have no relationship experience whatsoever. I have one friend who does but I hardly see him anymore. I have no one else to turn to when I have a question or a problem.

What really bothers me is my one friend (the only one with relationship experience) told me months ago that girls are always attracted to their coworkers..
FYI - Just because someone doesn't have much relationship experience that doesn't mean they can't give you some quality advice.

ALL my friends come to me (and always have) for relationship advice, and I've got the least experience in that department out of any of them. Maybe girls are different on this subject though.

Oh yeah, and as a girl I can say I've never really been attracted to my coworkers. So it's not always true. ;)

[SliKr]

I've been in 2 long relationships already. First one for like 2 years and the second for a year and half. Same exact thing happened with both of them. Even if you know that they wouldn't cheat on you and shit, just seeing them talk to other dudes pisses you the fuck off. I was the same way. I know there was plenty of times when I wanted to end the realationsip because I felt like I was holding her back to have fun with other people, guys in particular, but I didn't want to make a mistake.
Turns out the first cheated on me with the 2 guys she always would talk to.
and the second one I had to break up with because we both went to different schools and I felt it was right.
You just have to find a way to try and block that part out. It's hard. It sucks. But, then again, so do vaginas. Good luck bro.:)

[oldwirehands]

I've been in 2 long relationships already. First one for like 2 years and the second for a year and half. Same exact thing happened with both of them. Even if you know that they wouldn't cheat on you and shit, just seeing them talk to other dudes pisses you the fuck off. I was the same way. I know there was plenty of times when I wanted to end the realationsip because I felt like I was holding her back to have fun with other people, guys in particular, but I didn't want to make a mistake.
Turns out the first cheated on me with the 2 guys she always would talk to.
and the second one I had to break up with because we both went to different schools and I felt it was right.
You just have to find a way to try and block that part out. It's hard. It sucks. But, then again, so do vaginas. Good luck bro.:)

Thanks a lot man. I don't think I have anything to worry about now. I was kind of letting my fear of the past take over my emotions. We had long talks for the past week and everything panned out nicely.

[selftitled85]

honestly dude if you care for her enough you will be able to trust her and know that
1) She would not cheat on you
2) The guys she hangs with if they are your friends have some semblance of loyalty and would not do that to you.
3) She trusts you.

Though I dont know how much of those are true in this situation but if you can answer those three questions than you know the answer.

[enj0i29]

honestly dude if you care for her enough you will be able to trust her and know that
1) She would not cheat on you
2) The guys she hangs with if they are your friends have some semblance of loyalty and would not do that to you.
3) She trusts you.

Though I dont know how much of those are true in this situation but if you can answer those three questions than you know the answer.

mehhh...I don't know about your #1, I trusted my ex through the entire relationship, and I tried to be the best guy I could be to her. Turns out she was cheating on me 2 weeks before she broke up with me. Over the fucking phone.
And #2 can go either way. Friends can change and end up in bed with your girlfriend.
#3 is AOK with me though!

[elatiion]

fuck girls

[jaimej]

I know you asked the guys this question but I had something to add. Girls like attention. We like it when guys like us, it's not something we can help. Though, 99% of the time, if we're in a committed relationship, its harmless. Maybe shes realized shes been in this relationship with you for a long time and though shes happy, but she likes to know that shes still attractive and people are still interested in her. Theres a difference between her enjoying that guys want to get into her pants and her doing something about it. Just make sure that there is a line drawn, and as long as nothing inappropriate is taking place you have nothing to worry about. You said shes already stopped talking to two guys because it was against your wishes, which says a lot about how much she cares for you as well. Just let it be known that although you don't approve of it, you know that nothing will happen.

[boysdontcry17]

that makes me feel icky

[GoWaitInTheCar]

This may sound politcally correct and I always try to push not being, but I also push the truth.

If your relationship means something and it's real and there is trust, then fear not, everything is okay.

[preppyak]

I just stopped caring about the situation (probably a bad thing to do, but whatever haha) because I thought to myself, why should I stress out over this? If it wasn't mean to be, then it's not meant to be. I'm a strong believer in that
Yeah, I'm trying to adopt that kind of notion too with my girlfriend...but it's tough

[preppyak]

honestly dude if you care for her enough you will be able to trust her and know that
1) She would not cheat on you
2) The guys she hangs with if they are your friends have some semblance of loyalty and would not do that to you.
3) She trusts you.

Though I dont know how much of those are true in this situation but if you can answer those three questions than you know the answer.
Yeah, I don't have that convenience in my situation. The girl I'm dating, I've been friends with for the last year+, but the group of friends she hangs out with now is very different than it was last year, and I really don't know any of them. I know the one kid likes her, but he's way too insecure to even attempt to make a move on her, so I'm not worried about that.

But, there is this one guy who I can't quite tell, I think he likes my girlfriend. Here's where it gets interesting, my girlfriend's best friend likes that guy, but he won't date her because he "likes someone else," which I think is just a cover up because she isn't particularly that attractive. But the fact that he still hangs out with our group even though he's not going for that girl and he's not particularly good friends with the other guys makes me wonder. It's going to probably make me mad sometime in the future

[oldwirehands]

I know you asked the guys this question but I had something to add. Girls like attention. We like it when guys like us, it's not something we can help. Though, 99% of the time, if we're in a committed relationship, its harmless. Maybe shes realized shes been in this relationship with you for a long time and though shes happy, but she likes to know that shes still attractive and people are still interested in her. Theres a difference between her enjoying that guys want to get into her pants and her doing something about it. Just make sure that there is a line drawn, and as long as nothing inappropriate is taking place you have nothing to worry about. You said shes already stopped talking to two guys because it was against your wishes, which says a lot about how much she cares for you as well. Just let it be known that although you don't approve of it, you know that nothing will happen.

You're totally right and I accept that. Its just sometimes I feel she goes too far. I know she's very friendly but sometimes its just weird. Women have put me through hell in the past. I used to ignore stuff that shouldn't have been ignored and end up being cheated on. If I think I'm going to be cheated on, sometimes it happens, sometimes it does. I'm also very analytical which doesn't help. Like when my girlfriend cheated on me the first time, I knew that something COULD happen but I trusted her and she ended up did cheating on me with this guy that I was sort of friends with. My gut told me to give her another chance so I did. After awhile I trusted her again and found out she was lying to me about something and I lost trust in her once more. So this is her third chance and so far its going really well besides these conflicts I have with myself.

Myspace is evil. Its the source of why I worry. Most of the girls that have cheated on me started the trouble on that site. That really pisses me off that a fucking website can cause so much real-life drama. I have known girls who have cheated on their boyfriends with guys they met on myspace. I have witnessed girls in relationships act like complete whores on that site. I'm done with my rant now. Time for more cold medicine.