Talking Lobbyist

[beardedyodeler]

I always wondered what one of those lobbyist would say if you gave them a truth syrume of some kind. Whith that in mind I decided to write this song. I figured the political forum would be a more appropriate place


Talking Lobbyist Blues

Before we start off I'd like to confess
That I'm the one causing all the mess
I like to gamble and I like to cheat
And I don't mind lying through my teeth
I like money I'm a man of opportunity
They call me Mr. Top dollar

When you're in a hole I don't really care
I want to keep you blind and keep you scared
I lie to your back I lie to your face
To keep you confused and in your place
Just keep on watching the news they're all payed off
The more you scratch your head
The more I get paid

I want to keep the truth from hitting your ears
To play on your worst nightmares
They're killing grandpa with healthcare reform
And who knows where Mr. President was born
Everybody get together and organize
We'll call it grass roots when it's really corporatised
One of my favorite practical jokes
Or as I like to call it capital brokes
Guess who's the capitalist and who ain't got the do-re-mi

The only faces I see are Franklin and Lincoln
And I'm only glad when the countries sinking
If it's not about money then you're not worth my time
And if you don't have a million you might as well be worth a dime
I'm a high roller big spender
Truth bender

I go over to capital hill
To pay off the senators writing the bills
If they don't take my bribe I run a smear campaign
Did you know senator so-and-so won't play my game
He's the scum of the earth and a real bad guy
A godless mindless fella who wants you all to die
He's a socialist communist fascist atheist
Anything unamerican this is that guy

The environment is fine as far as I'm concerned
One planet dead is a dollar earned
I pollute your waters and poison your streams
Because they're not as important as big industry
Lets cut down all the trees and turn them into paper
To make room for shopping malls and movie theaters
More restaurants and fast food joints
Anything to keep your mind off of
whats really going on

I thump my bible and cheat on my wife
I'm the biggest capitalist since Jesus Christ
Well now that I say it I can't name a verse
From any holy book in this universe
But we all know facts have a liberal bias
But I'm a god fearing man you can't get more pious
I'm a holly roller, born again christian
I go to church 7 days a week

One more comment before I sign off
This country is free it's just a little lost
Most people believe every crazy thing they hear
And don't take time to get things clear
It's my job to make them blind to the facts
And to get them on my side then stab them in the back
That's just the way it goes
Like the old saying
The strong always eat the weak

By Scott Lee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAZmrGdc1KY

[SLOWPOKE LOPEZ]

opportunity and dollar don't rhyme. you lost me.

[Praetor]

You'd better hope that Lauren has you on ignore.

[beardedyodeler]

opportunity and dollar don't rhyme. you lost me.

It's a talking blues song, the last few lines of every verse don't rhyme.

[Sventhegreat]

opportunity and dollar don't rhyme. you lost me.

hahah

[Brand-new-123]

You spelled pious wrong.

[Brand-new-123]

And there seems to be a bit of a bias throughout the poem. Almost like there's no lobbyists on the other side?

[MyNameIsRoss]

I think you're giving lobbyists too much credit...

[paper halo]

And there seems to be a bit of a bias throughout the poem. Almost like there's no lobbyists on the other side?

It's a song, it doesn't have to be neutral and unbiased.

[Brand-new-123]

It's a song, it doesn't have to be neutral and unbiased.
oh i know. i don't mind political music at all. it just seems like he's saying that lobbyists are a problem but he only complains about a certain few when there are others on the other side that buy votes for other issues that he just ignores. It's not a big deal but i felt like addressing it anyway.

[beardedyodeler]

And there seems to be a bit of a bias throughout the poem. Almost like there's no lobbyists on the other side?

I'm talking about the lobbyists for big corporations like Healthcare and Big Oil. Notice how I talk about killing the environment and killing grandpa. I was thinking about calling it Talking Capitalist.

[Brand-new-123]

I'm talking about the lobbyists for big corporations like Healthcare and Big Oil. Notice how I talk about killing the environment and killing grandpa. I was thinking about calling it Talking Capitalist.
I could tell. I just think that lobbyists are a problem no matter what they support. I don't think voters elect representatives to have their vote bought by Big Oil and the NRA or Planned Parenthood and PETA.

[beardedyodeler]

I agree that they are a problem no matter what. But to include them all it would be the worlds longest song. I figured I would aim it at the ones who have the most money to throw around.

[asmolitor]

You'd better hope that Lauren has you on ignore.

i reallllllly hope she doesn't. it's been a while since the last "lobbyists are evil" verbal correction. i'm looking forward to it.

[loveisdead]

i reallllllly hope she doesn't. it's been a while since the last "lobbyists are evil" verbal correction. i'm looking forward to it.
I agree with this.

[beardedyodeler]

i reallllllly hope she doesn't. it's been a while since the last "lobbyists are evil" verbal correction. i'm looking forward to it.

Maybe you folks could educate me then if these Lobbyists are not as evil as my song suggests. If you look at who spends the most money on lobbyists it's big buisness and health insurance companies. Those people don't care about the average folks, they care about making a profit for their investors. If I am wrong then by all means let me know.

[asmolitor]

equating oil company lobbyists and grassroots lobbyists under the same umbrella of "all lobbyists are evil" is incredibly disingenuous.

[beardedyodeler]

equating oil company lobbyists and grassroots lobbyists under the same umbrella of "all lobbyists are evil" is incredibly disingenuous.

There should be no lobbyists at all. The people we elect should vote on what they believe in. Isn't that why we vote them in? Whats disingenuous is the fact that most of the people who run for public office have their campaigns payed for by these big companies. The people should decide what direction this country heads, not the rich and powerful

[lauren<3s music]

You'd better hope that Lauren has you on ignore.
hahahahahahahaha this is why i love you

[MyNameIsRoss]

It sounds like you're talking about an elite group of people who run things behind the scenes, not lobbyists. i.e Masters Of War

[beardedyodeler]

It sounds like you're talking about an elite group of people who run things behind the scenes, not lobbyists. i.e Masters Of War

Those are the people who pay the lobbyists. Maybe I'm just killing the messangers. but the lobbyists are just as bad as the people at the top.

[lauren<3s music]

i reallllllly hope she doesn't. it's been a while since the last "lobbyists are evil" verbal correction. i'm looking forward to it.

I agree with this.

well since you all asked so nicely....

Lobbyists play a vital role in our government and as already stated your concept of a lobbyist is clearly gathered from the asshats such as Abramoffs of the world. Newsflash: Just as with any profession there are morons who give the rest of us a bad name.

You say the people who are elected should represent "us" - well guess what, that's my job. I represent the us that is my organization. Every person at some point in their life in some capacity is represented by a lobbyist. You name, there is an association for it. We are responsible for education Members of Congress and their staff about issues. Do you really think that one person can be an expert in health care, the economy, defense, transportation etc. For every group saying "Do X" there's another group saying "Do Y." Our job is to present the facts that we have and it is the legislator's job to then take that information, in conjunction with the rest of the information presented to them and make and educated decision based on facts. Beyond that, do you think the average person has the time, capacity both in terms of knowledge and finances, or the savvy to actually get Congress to do what they want? Have the time they don't know how to make what they want happen. That's our job. You know the end result, you find a way to make it happen. The federal government is a little more complex then most people think.

Now as to the bribe/we're evil and do underhanded things portion:

We are one of, if not THE most regulated profession out there. I have to quarterly and publicly report my financial contributions both professionally and personally for all the world to see. I have been denied the right to speak to certain people based on my profession, donate to candidates, etc because of what I do. Lobbying ethics rules have gotten so strict they go beyond common sense. Do you know that a meal now constitutes as anything you can't eat with a toothpick? Events must be widely attended if an organization is going to attend and that means the crowd must be 25+ of people who are not registered lobbyists. Really, if I could bribe people, my job would be boring.

Beyond that, do you know how many grassroots groups have lobbyists who don't technically count as lobbyists because of the IRS rules? Yeah I bet you didn't. Did you know how many 501c(3)s, non-profits for those who don't study the tax code, can also employ lobbyists? Oh guess what ALL OF THEM. So take that and shove it because chances are when you get a job one day, you can thank a lobbyist for your job, your house, your car, the roads you drive on, the school you go to.

oh yeah and the health care you have, you're welcome asshat.

[stereokiller]

thank you for smoking!

[lauren<3s music]

oh i'm sorry, why so quiet now? Perhaps because 1. you're wrong, 2. you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about and 3. oh wait what's that i'm right.

it's just like work only i'm doing it for free....

[Brand-new-123]

oh i'm sorry, why so quiet now? Perhaps because 1. Daisy leaked

yep. you're right

[beardedyodeler]

It may be true that lobbyists do some good things for folks. But if you look at the picture as a whole it seems like they do more harm then good. After all, the big companies have the most money to pour into lobbyists. You hear all the time about corporations giving money to senators to vote this way or that. Our government would run just fine without them. And my song was obviously about the lobbyists from large corporatons who don't care about the enviornment or the well being of the average American.

[lauren<3s music]

yep. you're right

don't toy with me...

It may be true that lobbyists do some good things for folks. But if you look at the picture as a whole it seems like they do more harm then good. After all, the big companies have the most money to pour into lobbyists. You hear all the time about corporations giving money to senators to vote this way or that. Our government would run just fine without them. And my song was obviously about the lobbyists from large corporatons who don't care about the enviornment or the well being of the average American.

Number one, the lobbyists are just paid better at bigger firms.
Number two, you can't buy votes. You can talk only in broad general topics and bills. And, if someone agrees with your position and backs you up 100% of the time, of course you donate money to them. Same as everyone else. Bet you didn't know there's a limit on how much PACs can give. So no you can't buy votes

And no the government wouldn't work well without us. If you think for a second that any of the things that are happening in health care right now would happen without people like us, your out of you're fucking mind and need to go watch schoolhouse rocks again.

Fuck the environment. and I'm a democrat. and yes there are environmentally friendly lobbyists too. dumbass.

[beardedyodeler]

Well, call me whatever you want because it just makes you look petty. If I am wrong then the way to educate people is not poke fun at them. I don't work in the government so I don't know all of the details. I just know that it's wrong for Politicians to take money from big companies because they only represent their own interests. I also know that this country would run just fine without lobbyists because they don't run the government. The people we elect run the governent and write the bills.

[Brand-new-123]

don't toy with me...



you know that's probably the real reason

[lauren<3s music]

Well, call me whatever you want because it just makes you look petty. If I am wrong then the way to educate people is not poke fun at them. I don't work in the government so I don't know all of the details. I just know that it's wrong for Politicians to take money from big companies because they only represent their own interests. I also know that this country would run just fine without lobbyists because they don't run the government. The people we elect run the governent and write the bills.
It doesn't make me look petty, it makes me look bitchy and well i'm fine with that. and i'm not poking fun at you, that is how i explain it. perhaps you should have gone back and read some of the politics forum where i don't know, we've discussed this 900 times before you wrote a "song" about it.

If you don't know, ask. Don't assume you know shit when you really don't. Politicians can take the same amount of money from big companies, small companies alike so come up with a different argument. The pot of money is the same as restricted by federal law.

You don't know that you think that and you're wrong. Oh and newsflash, politicians don't run the country, their staff does and they don't write the bills.

[lauren<3s music]

you know that's probably the real reason
probably. leaks are also the source of all of my evil lobbyist powers.

[beardedyodeler]

To put someone down because they don't know something is petty. And do you really think the uneducated really know they are uneducated?? They only know what they read and what they hear. I read and watch the news but I am not a policy dork who knows everything about our government and how it works.

I'm sure small companies can give just as much as big companies. But they don't have as much extra cash to kick around.

[Machu505]

Lauren once again kicks ass, proceeds to take names.

[beardedyodeler]

She never kicked anyones ass.

Defintion of lobbyist: A group of persons engaged in trying to influence legislators or other public officials in favor of a specific cause.

When I wrote the song that is what I thought a lobbyist did. I know there are lobbyist for just about anything that you can think of. But there are also lobbyists out there who try to influence public officials for the interests of the wealthy companies. I personally think that is wrong and we should just get rid of lobbyists all together.

[beardedyodeler]

And I think you said you were a lobbyist yourself. So of course you are going to says how great they are and how our government can't run without them. You are biased on the subject and shouldn't be seen as credible in the first place. I am just a regular guy who thinks the people in public office should be working for us, not the interests of whatever company can throw up the most money.

[Machu505]

Goddamnit lobbyists are people too. Most of them really do care about the issues they promote. Outlawing lobbyists ain't gonna do shit. What you need are stronger senators. Besides, the right to petition or influence the legislative process is a right under the First Amendment.

[beardedyodeler]

They don't represent the majority of people though. And you can't get strong senators because you have to have a load of cash to run for office. The big corporations give the senators money to run their campaigns on. So the senators are already bought and payed for before they are in office.

I don't see bribery anywhere in the first amendment.

Defintion of Bribery: Something, such as money or a favor, offered or given to a person in a position of trust to influence that person's views or conduct

Sounds an awful lot like lobbying to me.

[beardedyodeler]

http://www.opensecrets.org/industries/index.php

[asmolitor]

And I think you said you were a lobbyist yourself. So of course you are going to says how great they are and how our government can't run without them. You are biased on the subject and shouldn't be seen as credible in the first place. I am just a regular guy who thinks the people in public office should be working for us, not the interests of whatever company can throw up the most money.

so the person in this thread who is actually a "lobbyist" and knows the ins and outs, the glories and the pitfalls, the good and evil, etc - is biased and not credible... but you, as a "regular guy," get to dictate the discourse and remain the de facto opinion on record, in spite of personal experience by lauren that proves your beliefs to the contrary.

sigh.

just leave.

[Juturna25]

yeah! down with the corporations! big corporations, man!

please, shut the fuck up. lobbyists are actually good for this country. Do yourself a favor and take a government class before you shit talk things you dont know about and write shitty songs about them to boot.

[beardedyodeler]

If she is indeed a lobbyist then it's in her favor for the lobbyist to stay around. She would argue that point to the end. She said herself there are regulations she has to follow. Thats because if there wasn't regulations the problem would be even worse. There is a reason why lobbyists are not seen very well by the public. Just because I'm a regular guy doesn't mean I'm completly ignorant of whats going on. That link I posted shows how much money public officials are getting from special interests.

A good portion of the lobbyists use money to sway political figures to fight for their cause. That is what I call a bribe. And if you can't tell me the difference between bribery and lobbying then I think you should leave.

[Juturna25]

hmmm i always thought a bribe was something done in secret, not something the whole world can see...

[beardedyodeler]

There is nowhere in the legal definition that says it has to be secret.

[beardedyodeler]

It's power for sale, and in a government that is for the people I think that is unfair.

[saysmydoctor]

I know I'm making a ballpark guess here, but generally the senators and representatives have pretty large staffs that usually advise them on numerous issues that would be covered in their respective jobs. I agree to an extent that lobbyists need to exist, but they definitely shouldn't control the image--which they do.

[Praetor]

well since you all asked so nicely....

Lobbyists play a vital role in our government and as already stated your concept of a lobbyist is clearly gathered from the asshats such as Abramoffs of the world. Newsflash: Just as with any profession there are morons who give the rest of us a bad name.

You say the people who are elected should represent "us" - well guess what, that's my job. I represent the us that is my organization. Every person at some point in their life in some capacity is represented by a lobbyist. You name, there is an association for it. We are responsible for education Members of Congress and their staff about issues. Do you really think that one person can be an expert in health care, the economy, defense, transportation etc. For every group saying "Do X" there's another group saying "Do Y." Our job is to present the facts that we have and it is the legislator's job to then take that information, in conjunction with the rest of the information presented to them and make and educated decision based on facts. Beyond that, do you think the average person has the time, capacity both in terms of knowledge and finances, or the savvy to actually get Congress to do what they want? Have the time they don't know how to make what they want happen. That's our job. You know the end result, you find a way to make it happen. The federal government is a little more complex then most people think.

Now as to the bribe/we're evil and do underhanded things portion:

We are one of, if not THE most regulated profession out there. I have to quarterly and publicly report my financial contributions both professionally and personally for all the world to see. I have been denied the right to speak to certain people based on my profession, donate to candidates, etc because of what I do. Lobbying ethics rules have gotten so strict they go beyond common sense. Do you know that a meal now constitutes as anything you can't eat with a toothpick? Events must be widely attended if an organization is going to attend and that means the crowd must be 25+ of people who are not registered lobbyists. Really, if I could bribe people, my job would be boring.

Beyond that, do you know how many grassroots groups have lobbyists who don't technically count as lobbyists because of the IRS rules? Yeah I bet you didn't. Did you know how many 501c(3)s, non-profits for those who don't study the tax code, can also employ lobbyists? Oh guess what ALL OF THEM. So take that and shove it because chances are when you get a job one day, you can thank a lobbyist for your job, your house, your car, the roads you drive on, the school you go to.

oh yeah and the health care you have, you're welcome asshat.
oh i'm sorry, why so quiet now? Perhaps because 1. you're wrong, 2. you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about and 3. oh wait what's that i'm right.

it's just like work only i'm doing it for free....
...and this is why I love you.

[lauren<3s music]

...and this is why I love you.

See and people say there's no love in politics anymore.

And sean, if you think a staff of 6 (and that's a good sized staff) can handle everything I need what you take for productivity!

[saysmydoctor]

I understand the purpose lobbyists play but they aren't nearly as lifeblood-esque as you make them out to be. You are the ones who say the collective staff on Congress that runs Washington, writes and reads the bills. I would argue that lobbyists have far more control than you say is possible even with the restrictions in place.

[Praetor]

See and people say there's no love in politics anymore.

And sean, if you think a staff of 6 (and that's a good sized staff) can handle everything I need what you take for productivity!
ReLHXxYMUFU

LOVE'S

IN NEED

OF LOVE TODAY

[lauren<3s music]

ReLHXxYMUFU

LOVE'S

IN NEED

OF LOVE TODAY
really there are no words to express how freaking awesome this is.